Southern Fried Sith

TITLE: Southern Fried Sith
AUTHOR: Schmootika
SUMMARY: The southern girls continue to wreak havoc in the GFFA.
RATING: R and at times NC-17
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything in the Star Wars universe, nor do I make any money from this or any of my stories. If I did own it, I would have a naked Sith Lord in my bed and would not be writing this story.

Chapter IV


Renee passed the nearly empty bottle back to Martha and snickered. “I guess we knocked the bottom outta that one.”

Martha finished the whiskey off and tossed the bottle on the ground. “Yeah, but it was fun getting’ there.”

Grabbing a pack of smokes, Renee sat back on the rocks surrounding the pool. She leaned back and lit one up. “Do ya remember that time we had to drag Cindy outta the bar on Beale Street?”

Martha laughed as she lit up her own smoke. “Yeah, I do. She was drunker than a skunk and hollered at us the whole way. Keep saying something about wantin’ to go to this dude’s hotel room.”

“Yep. That was it. Well, I’ll have to admit he was a cute little drummer but I had a creepy feelin’ about that friend of his. Figured it would not end up as a twosome. I think that was the night she bit my arm.”

Martha snorted. “Hey, I think it was. She always got a little outta line when it came to getting’ some.”

Patting Martha on the back, Renee replied. “Hell babe. We’ve all been overcome by the power of the dick before.”

“No shit. It makes you do some stupid shit that’s fer sure. Remember the night we went to Wild Bill’s and had to call Edward to take our drunk asses back home?”

Shaking her head, Renee chuckled. “Oh fuck me. You just had to bring that shit back up. Alright, I’ll admit to that one. But hell, they were brothers and damned near looked like twins. It would have been a wild fuckin’ ride while it lasted.”

“The problem was that your ignorant ass would not share. I was not gonna be left alone at the bar while you went out and got your freak on.” Martha snuffed out her smoke and grinned at Renee. “Besides, we had more bars to hop around at that night.”

Renee looked at her slightly puzzled. “We went to other bars that night?”

Martha roared with laughter. “Yeah. So I guess you don’t remember the karoke bar and strippin’ to ’Jessie’s Girl’?”

Renee’s eyes went wide as she searched her foggy memories. “I vaguely remember that. But I also recall you standing on the stage beside me. Was it a double your pleasure night fer the whole bar?”

Waving her finger in Renee’s face, Martha replied. “So you DO remember. What was that guy’s name? The one that tipped us both twenty dollars when we got off the stage.”

Renee flicked her smoke from her hands and leaned over to Martha. “I thought you would remember since he went home with you.”

“Oh hell. It’ll come back to me.” Standing up and stretching, Martha held out her hand to Renee. “I’ve got the munchies. Come on, let’s raid the kitchen.”

Bonnie sat at a table with Shaw and a few of his buddies, drinking large mugs of a dark brown ale. “Whatta call this shit? It reminds me of Guinness.”

“It’s our own brew. You like it ma’am?” Shaw replied as he filled her mug back up.

“Yep. That shit’ll put hair on your chest.”

Shaw laughed loudly and his friends chuckled along with him. “Now that I’d like to see.”

Bonnie wiped her mouth on her sleeve and sat the mug down. “What? My hair or my chest?”

Shaw squinted at her and sneered. “Both, actually.”

Throwing her head back, Bonnie laughed. “Well, that ain’t gonna happen. I’m spoken fer baby.”

“Oh really? Who has the pleasure of your company, ma’am.” Shaw scooted his chair closer to her.

Cocking her eyebrows, Bonnie slid next to him and wrapped her arm around his as she whispered into his ear. “That ain’t none of your fuckin’ business, darlin’.”

Bonnie giggled as she pulled back from him, but Shaw had a determined look on his face. “I take it you don’t kiss and tell, but if I watch you for a while I’ll bet you I can guess who it is.”

Waving her hand in his face, Bonnie replied. “Whatever. So you got first name Shaw?”

“Yeah, it’s Terry,” he replied with a large toothy smile.

Sitting back in her chair, Bonnie grabbed her ale and kicked her feet up on the table. “Hum, I used to know a Terry, but he was nothin’ like you.”

“Do tell,” Terry replied as he gulped down his own ale.

Chuckling, Bonnie took a big swig from her mug. “He was a redneck. A down home, deer huntin’, trailer park livin’, beer guzzlin’, rebel flag totin’ redeneck.”

Terry laughed but looked a bit puzzled. “I don’t think I understood a thing you just said.”

Bonnie sat up and stretched. She had enough excitement for one day and it was getting late. “Well guys, it’s been a pleasure - yours of course.” She winked at them and stood up. “I’ll see ya’ll in the morning.”

Terry stood up and asked her, “May I escort you to your room?”

Patting him on she shoulder, Bonnie smirked. “Naw baby. I can find my own way.”

Stumbling down the corridors, she felt a familiar presence and turned to face a hooded figure. “Hey baby! Your place or mine?”

He held his finger to his lips and waved her over to him. “You’ve got to be a bit more discreet my love.”

Bonnie looked over his shoulders and saw Terry glaring at them. She just flashed him a smile and walked away. Her hooded friend walked in the opposite direction and nodded when he passed Terry. ”Oh great. This is going to stir up something fer sure,” Obi-wan thought. Then he chuckled to himself, realizing he was starting to sound like his little southern rebel.

Jango slithered down the hallways of the Imperial palace once more. This time he was dressed in stormtrooper armor. Carefully walking down the winding staircase to the lower levels, he paused as he noticed two troopers standing guard outside Cindy’s door. He walked up and stood beside them, trying not to seem too out of place.

“What are you doing here trooper?” one of them asked.

“I was told to report here,” Jango replied with a steady voice.

“Very well. I will go back up and keep a lookout for that bounty hunter.” The trooper walked away and Jango smiled beneath the helmet.

Sounds of moans and muffled screams wafted through the old wooden door and it was almost more than Jango could bear. Reaching inside his belt, he pulled out a small dart and stuck it in the other trooper’s side where is armor did not shield his underclothes. He fell to his knees instantly and Jango drug his body around the corner. Taking his place back up at the door, he heard the lock open and saw the emperor walk out.

Without looking up, he said, “Trooper. Tie her back up.” He walked, almost gliding, down the hallway and back up the stairs, cackling the whole way.

Jango went inside and found Cindy crumpled on the floor. Picking her up, she looked at his helmet and almost screamed but he clasped a hand over her mouth. “I’m back to help you out,” Jango whispered. With that, Cindy stilled in his arms.

Sneaking around the corner, Jango opened the ventilation shaft he had used the other night and helped her inside. Working quickly, he resealed the vent and pointed out the direction they needed to go. This would take some time and he was hoping thier presence would go undetected. Coming to a large “t” in the shafts, he scooted around Cindy and pulled her along the rest of the way. He’d found another exit when he was scouting here last night and figured that it would be a better escape route.

His instincts were correct and they popped open the vent to freedom. Running as fast as they could, Jango helped her into his ship and took off like a bolt of lightening. Cindy passed out in the seat beside him. He looked at her and smiled; she had been through so much he was just glad he could rescue her. Well, that and the money Vader was sure to pay him was a nice topping as well.

Vader...He realized that he needed to contact him, but decided to wait till some of the trouble he had certainly just stirred up clamed down a bit before he contacted anyone. Plus, it was obvious to him that Cindy needed rest and a medical droid’s examination. He headed to a place in the underworld that would take good care of her.

Renee and Martha giggled as they nosed around the cooler. “Oh try this. It’s some kinda smoked sausage,” Renee said as she handed Martha a big hunk of it.

“Oh my. This reminds me of someone.” Martha snickered as she chomped down. “Damn! That is good.”

Nodding her head, Renee replied, “Yep. Told ya. Here try some of this. Chocolate I think.”

Martha pushed Renee out of her way. “Let’s just grab a bunch and go sit down.”

“Awright.” Renee grabbed several containers and went into the dining room.

As they both sat there, munching to their hearts’ content, Renee paused and Martha looked up at her. Her eyes stared at the wall but when Martha turned around to see what her friend was staring at, there was nothing there. Turning back around, she saw a smile on Renee’s face. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on. Grabbing one of the containers in front of Renee, Martha said, “Tell him I says hi.”

Renee nodded and looked at her. “He says he’ll be back before you leave tomorrow.”

Between munches, Martha was able to choke out. “Tell him he owes me a big ‘ol kiss.”

Renee grinned at Martha and grabbed the container back from her. “Thought I didn’t see that, did ya?”

Martha smirked, “Well, you seemed occupied. Where is he anyway?”

“Fuck if I know. All that I really care about is when he’s gettin’ back.”

Laughing, Martha rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty damned sure I know what he’s gonna do when he gets back home.”

Renee winked at her and they both laughed. “That’s beside the point. So, is there anything else you might wanna do tonight?”

“Who?” Martha replied, her mouth stuffed with some unknown delights.

“That can be arranged.” Renee snickered.

“Oh hell naw. I remember the shit that happened the last time ya’ll ‘arranged’ something. I ain’t gettin’ in the middle of that shit.”

Shrugging her shoulders, Renee picked over some fruit that seemed to be candied. “Suit yourself.”

Bonnie opened the door to her room and stumbled inside. That ale was quite a bit more potent than the stuff she was used to and her head was swimming. Pulling off her boots and slipping out of the uniform, she lovingly draped it across a chair and patted it as she went to the fresher. Standing inside and placing her hands against the cool tiles to support herself, she let the hot water flow over her body. The drone of the cascading water muffled out all other sounds and she did not hear the fresher door open. A pair of strong hands clasped onto her hips and she spun around in complete surprise.

Obi-wan winced as she faced him; he did not realize he had scared her and was bracing for a blow. Bonnie smiled and, standing on her tiptoes, wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hello there,” he said as he leaned down and kissed her.

As her lips parted eagerly for him, she murmured against him, “Took ya long enough.”

Chuckling, he pulled her in closer and kissed along her neck. Bonnie moaned when she felt the now familiar tickle of his beard and the soft wetness of his lips on her skin. Arching her back, the water flowed down her body and he licked the moistness from the valley between her breasts.

She stepped back from him and grabbed hold of his hard member. “I want me some of this.”

“As you wish ma’am,” he replied and pushed her back against the tile wall. Raising her leg up, he caught her ankle and, with a bit of help from the Force, raised her up until he posed at her entrance. His eyes glittered as he looked down her body and watched himself slowly sink into her. Trying to throw her head back, Bonnie hollered when she banged her head on the wall. “Damn, that hurt,” she muttered.

Obi-wan stopped and reached up to rub her wet hair. “Are you ok?”

Bonnie snickered and wiggled her hips. “Fuck me now or lose me forever.”

A grin shown on his face as he started pumping back into her sweet body. They moaned and ground against each other as Bonnie held onto his strong shoulders, leaving long scratch marks in her wake. He hissed and grunted as he felt her contract around him. Lacing his hands in her hair, he tugged hard as she was swept over the edge. Bonnie growled and clung to him, riding out the pleasurable waves. Trying to hold out, he finally succumbed to the ministrations of her body and leaned his head against her shoulder as he grunted and came deep inside her.

His hands splayed on either side of her head, Obi-wan panted as he slowly regained some semblance of control. The slight feelings of guilt he felt from using the Force as an erotic tool soon faded as Bonnie placed sweet little kisses all over his neck and chest. She slid her legs from around his waist and stood up, albeit wobbly. Looking down on her, Obi-wan had a very contented smile on his face as he kissed her gently. “Mind if I stay here tonight?”

Bonnie chuckled, “I thought you’d never ask.”