The End Justifies the Means

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The Games People Play


“In revenge and in love, woman
is more barbarous than man.”

Friedrich Nietzsche


I leaned against the hard wall, my arms crossed over my chest, the very picture of irritable discontent. The sleepless nights of invading Padmé’s dreams and the rest of the time spent denying both of us release had gone a long way towards souring my disposition. The waiting game I was being forced to endure only added to it.

My eyes wandered around the bridge longingly. If circumstances had been different, I would’ve been making the rounds, learning each bridge position, fiddling with the controls, testing and experimenting, taking part in all manner of technical discussions. At any other time nothing would have stopped me from my explorations. But, then, the situation with Padmé couldn’t have been further away from normal.

Absently watching a nearby crewman who had to be even younger than me, a long forgotten memory surfaced and despite my dark mood a small smile quirked the corners of my mouth. The face of the pilot who had kindly tutored a curious boy on the workings of a Nubian ship had long since faded but I could still hear his voice. The surprise and pleasure he had expressed at how quickly I’d caught on had thrilled the scared and lonely child I had been. It still did in a way for that memory was all wrapped up in the events that had shaken my world. In an impossibly short amount of time, I’d earned my freedom in a daring wager, left my mother and home to become a Jedi, and, of course, met the girl who monopolized my thoughts and had possessed my heart every day since.

A sigh of long sufferance blew past my lips. What the hell was keeping her? Impatience shifted my weight from one foot to the other, boredom radiating from every pore. When I caught myself actually longing for one of Obi Wan’s talks to alleviate the tedium, I knew I was in dire need of diversion.

Unfortunately, when it eventually presented itself, the diversion came in an extremely unwelcome form.


****

A peal of soft laughter drew my fierce attention, along with that of several officers, to the far door through which Padmé finally made her appearance. Directly on her heels was the bridge captain, the young, good-looking and overly attentive bridge captain. The disturbing sight deepened the scowl that instantly reappeared on my face. I threw a glowering look towards the object of my displeasure. The fact that Padmé had barely looked in my direction since entering had not gone unnoticed either.

Padmé’s attire certainly didn’t help my grim mood. Her outfit was similar to the one she’d been wearing when we’d arrived at the Lars homestead. The only significant differences to my untutored eyes was the color, deep green instead of blue, the lack of the shawl-like covering, and the bottom half, which consisted of a skirt instead of flowing pants. All in all it displayed far too much flesh for our present situation for my peace of mind. The golden skin of her bared midriff and back was like a homing beacon that attracted the attention and scrutiny of every male she passed.

I’d met with no success in trying to convince her to change. Since I hadn’t objected on Tatooine, a lawless and dangerous place if ever there was one, then wearing it on a military ship shouldn’t present a problem either, she’d argued with a rebellious gleam in her eyes. I’d been on the verge of reminding her how anxious she’d been to get out of the strategically torn battle clothing which had drawn so much unwanted attention - and hadn’t been near as revealing as her present outfit - but bit back my retort. The stubborn tilt to her chin told me plainly that I wasn’t going to win. Now, as the captain’s hand settled against the bare skin of her back, ostensibly to guide her politely forward but really using manners as an excuse to touch the smooth flesh, I started to think I should’ve listened to my first instinct, namely to lock the stateroom door and refuse to let her out until she changed.

The pair stopped several meters away from where I stood stiffly at attention, seemingly engrossed in a conversation that, from what I could make out, dealt with the social life on Coruscant. Their trivial reminiscing of social gala’s and senatorial banquets was yet another disconcerting reminder that there were parts of Padmé’s life I hadn’t been around to share.

Glumly, I brooded over the number of years I hadn’t been able to take part in her life; years in which she had been free to meet and socialize with other men. The thought of those imagined nameless men hurt. And though I knew without a shadow of a doubt just how inexperienced Padmé had actually been, and still was in many ways, just the idea that the opportunities had existed left a bitter taste in my mouth. Inwardly, I cursed both the four years thepareparated us and the unreasonable restrictions placed on Jedi.

{Dark curly hair, dreamy eyes...}

The familiar urge to hit something accompanied Padmé’s remembered words. I wasn’t naïve enough to imagine that Palo – my mind practically spit the name – had been her only kiss. And that knowledge just made it worse because perversely, my mind continued its new hobby of conjuring up the torturous phantom images of faceless men taking Padmé into their arms. I knew it was ridiculous to be jealous of events that were in the past but love isn’t rational. The very idea of Padmé with anyone else sent my stomach churning in a sickening spiral.

I studied the face of the man openly flirting with Padmé, searching my memory for the vapid fool’s name as he very nearly drooled over what was mine. Captain Rigert? No, that one had been sent down to Geonosis only that morning. This was Captain Benor, who apparently labored under the delusion that he was both charming and irresistible.glanglanced around the room to find the crew had returned to their tasks and were studiously ignoring their captain who was neglecting his duties in favor of paying court to the stranger in their midst.

The skin across my face felt uncomfortably tight, my lips were drawn in a thin line, white with anger. I didn’t like him. I didn’t like the way he looked at her, the way he spoke to her, or the way he leaned in to hang on her every word. Never mind that his behavior was a mirror image of my own at times. That was a completely different situation. Padmé was mine, I had claimed her, and that puffed up, inbred Coruscant aristocrat would soon find himself on the wrong end of my lightsaber if he didn’t watch his step.

Another gentle trill of laughter shattered the fantasy I was having in which a cowering Benor was lifted off his feet and sent sailing against the nearest wall. The muscles in my shoulders, arms and back tightened painfully as I observed him nonchalantly reach out to touch Padmé’s arm to emphasis a point. A low growl of warning sounded from the back of my throat.

Did he linger a bit longer than was absolutely necessary?

The all-consuming possessive jealousy thrumming through my veins like liquid electricity was still relatively new to me. None of the women I’d known in the past had ever come close to touching my heart. That was reserved for Padmé alone and the few times genuine feelings threatened to develop, I had walked away without a backward glance. Those women had fulfilled a need and were usually as anxious as I to avoid emotional entanglement, consequently there’d never really been a time when jealousy came into play, at least on my part.

Blast! Why did she continue to let that idiot touch her?

My stomach clenched in sudden dread. Was I doomed to suffer like this forever or only until I could claim her as my wife? Did it matter? By maintaining the necessary secrecy there could be no outward sign that she was taken. Months would go by between assignations, months in which I would not be there to head off any potential poachers. I trusted Padmé and that faith would strengthen once the wedding vows were said but I didn’t trust other men.

The shiver that ran down my spine had nothing to do with the draft of cool air that suddenly wafted past. Rather it was from the hideous sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as a sudden thought occurred to me. The Jedi often attended government social functions both as honored guests and as peace keepers and the war wouldn’t stop such frivolous events – at least not at first. The current situation made it highly likely the distinguished senator from Naboo would be on Coruscant more than she’d ever been in the past which meant there would be times I’d be forced to watch from the sidelines as men like Benor danced attendance on my wife.

{And don't forget she's a politician. They're not to be trusted}

Obi Wan’s cool words of dislike came back without warning. I’d grown use to such opinions from my Master over the years and paid them little heed. Usually because they accompanied a lecture and I had grown quite good at tuning out what I didn’t want to hear. As a general rule, I put such comments down to his increasingly cynical nature but as I watched Padmé charm the captain I experienced a sickening spiral of doubt. Her job necessitated the use of subterfuge and half-truths at times, even the most honest politician had to keep secrets.

In my mind’s eye a pair of virtuous brown eyes smiled at me - such innocence for someone who had been in the game of politics half her life. My gaze narrowed in on the slip of a girl who was cau me me so much turmoil. I considered with suspicion the inappropriate clothes, her seeming interest in every word out of Benor’s mouth, and finally, her unusually casual demeanor.

{...not to be trusted...not to be trusted...not to be trusted}

Sith! Padmé was allowing the liberties on purpose, I just knew it; allowing Benor’s hand to hover at the small of her back as he’d guided her across the bridge with a debonair air, allowing his touch at her shoulder and arm. The way she tilted her head to the side while she listened to him speak, the way she smiled with her eyes and mouth in light flirtation, all of it struck a deep chord of panicked fear and a slow burning frustration that begged to be let loose. Padmé knew I was watching her. She knew what that little display was doing to me; I could sense it through our forged bond. There was a definite feeling of justified satisfaction radiating from her. She was seeking some retribution of her own, I realized, payback for my own ruthless tactics.

Under normal conditions I probably would’ve recognized her behavior for what it was; an attempt to reassert some sort of control over her life in the wake of my relentless chiseling away at her defenses. Rational thought wasn’t coming into play however. The only thing my conscious mind seemed to register was the girl I loved beyond reason was making a pointed effort to declare she was free to consort with whomsoever she pleased and she was doing it in front of my very eyes. The red tide of anger swirled and eddied inside my head and at my side my hand automatically reached for the comforting weight of the lightsaber clipped to my belt.

Catching her eye in warning wasn’t possible. The moment they’d pausedmé dmé had turned away. She did it deliberately, trying to avoid the hungry looks I’d been shooting her whenever she was engaged in conversation with someone who wasn’t me. Smoldering looks that turned her cheeks pink, sent her pulse rocketing and increased her breathing to ragged intakes of air. It ama amazing what I could achieve with a slow smile, an intense gaze or a raised eyebrow.

It had taken just two hastily broken conversations for her to learn the lesson of keeping her back to me. But then I just progressed back to Force thoughts. The memory of Padmé’s reaction the first time I’d used that particular tactic while she conversed with the ship’s commander drew a soft snort of wry laughter from me. A passing technician eyed me curiously, clearly not understanding what I found so humorous when I’d been nothing but dour since arriving. A baleful glare sent him scurrying about his business. After he disappeared from view, I turned my attention back to Padmé and my black mood took a firmer hold.

Yes, Padmé was learning but it wasn’t what I’d intended. It was time to end the maddening tableau I was being forced to endure. The pressure I’d been applying since the library incident was working and I wasn’t about to stand by and let some military bureaucrat step in to reap the benefits. No one was going to take what had been mine since the age of nine.

Given where we were there wasn’t much I could do about Benor, but I could do something about her. Up until then I thought ensuring her conversations with others were cut short would be enough. After all, holding her pinned to the wall or floor in the stateroom indefinitely, while certainly appealing, was also completely impractical. It was time I convinced Padmé that further trips to the bridge weren’t a good idea.

So, where before I had confined myself to whispering erotic suggestions along with the projection of the occasional arousing image, now I pulled out all the stops. Using my intimate knowledge of Padmé’s body, I proceeded to seduce her under the eyes of Benor and the crew manning the bridge. Even I was surprised by the results of my daring escapade.

A sensation of a feathery touch at the nape of her neck.

The play of fingers dancing up her spine.

Soft brush of lips at her temple.

The feel of a hand following the curve of her hip, dipping into the indention of her waist, and ending at the swell of her breast.

Hard body pressed against her back.

The rasp of my tongue at her pulse point followed by the s nip nip of my teeth.

Under my invisible attentions, Padmé’s body went ridged, muscles tensing at the suggestive thoughts weaving themselves like a seductive tapestry in her mind. The slight twitch of her shoulders another betraying response, telling of the effort she was exerting to hide her involuntary and despised reactions to my wicked efforts. Seconds later she was fighting valiantly to suppress the shudders of desire as her body awakened under the influenceunseunseen hands and lips.

Every Force caress was accompanied by whispered words sent to echo in her head, achieving the goal to send her pulse rate soaring and her heart hammering in the confines of her chest. The unwelcome arousal wrung from her taunt body sent telltale tremors through the Force, spiking my own fevered reaction. I just manago sto stifle the moan that rose from me; the feel of her skin beneath mine was so real.

Lurking beneath the surface of the passion washing over her body like warm rain, I could feel the uneasy fear she felt as the body defied the mind. For someone who spent her life letting her head rule her personal life instead of her heart, the traitorous reaction must have been unbearable. No one liked to feel that they had no control, no power over their own body - especially not Senator Amidala.

The intensity of emotion Padmé was emoting surged forth in her Force aura, a sizzling bolt of lightening that sent tingles to my extremities. It was so strong I even imagined I could feel it in the tips of my metal fingers. I could feel everything through our bond; all her anger, embarrassment, longing, and fear. I was making her feel things she didn't want to feel. I was taking away the weapons she used to shield herself from others and smashing them at her feet. And how she resented me even as her heart beat fiercely and her blood sang with an answering need to my call.

I eased once more into my first learned language, letting the hypnotizing cadence swirl and dance in her head, letting the seductive words whisper against her skin. I was absolutely ruthless as I enticed and lured the desired responses from her body; bypassing her will and playing straight to her heart.

Padmé was going to burn and it was going to be for me and me alone – or it wouldn’t be at all.

Over the pounding tattoo of my own heart, I heard Benor’s concerned inquiry at her increasingly flushed cheeks and flustered demeanor. Padmé’s attempt at reassurance fell flat. Her proffered excuse crumbled into a nervous stammer as I sent her a particularly erotic thought which echoed loudly in the Force. In a rush, her arms came up to cross over her chest, hiding her body’s betraying response from thcreacreasingly bewildered man’s view. It only took a few more moments spent suppressing shudders of desire, shifting from toe to toe in growing agitation, and then Padmé was beating a hasty and rather graceless retreat.

Captain Benor stared after her with a befuddled expression, clearly questioning the sanity of the senator he’d been flirting with just moments ago. Mission accomplished, I muttered to myself as a very angry girl brushed past me, frantically grasping at what few remaining shreds of dignity she retained. The glare Padmé shot me as she rushed by would’ve froznyonnyone else to the spot in terror.

I stared after her for a few seconds knowing with dark satisfaction that in all likelihood there would be no more visits to the bridge. Throwing the captain an apologetic shrug of commiseration that hinted I’d dealt with such behavior many times before, I turned and went after the ball of fury that was so igniting her Force signature even Threepio could’ve picked up on it.


****

I caught up with her just before she was able to disappear down any one of the eight different hallways that radiated off the central bridge corridor. With speed I hadn’t known she was capable of, Padmé unexpectedly whirled around and pushed me with all her might. Caught by surprise, I stumbled backwards, only managing to stay on my feet with a desperate grab at the handrail. She was clearly overcoming her aversion to physical retaliation.

Equilibrium retained, I found a furious, spitting Krell cat standing before me, letting loose with a string of expletives that, had I understood Nubian, I’m sure would’ve made even me bl Th The admittedly patronizing hand I stretched out in an attempt to placate was swatted violently away and another volley of Nubian curses ripped past me.

The jealous anger that had been all but forgotten under the spell of the Force seduction came back with a vengeance, fiery daggers pricking along every nerve ending. Drawing myself up to my full height, fierce stare locked with brown eyes sparking with mortification and self-righteous pique, I grabbed her wrist in a bone crushing hold and jerked her into my wake. With every bit of the arrogance and impulsiveness for which Obi Wan was constantly berating me, I then set off down one of the halls at a rapid clip.

Ignoring the continued stream of furious Nn thn that had yet to cease, I half-pulled, half-dragged Padmé down the passageway intent on finding someplace that would offer more privacy than the bridge hall. My wandering exploration of three nights earlier gave me an unexpected advantage as we rapidly left the possibility of interruption behind.

The sudden appearance of even one Republic officer in the high traffic area might very well put an end to my time with Padmé, something I could ill afford. The last thing I needed was to have a report of our heated altercation reach Obi Wan’s ears. Well, that and a captain who couldn’t keep his hands to himself, I thought to myself grimly.

Padmé remained too busy raining down a litany of curses on my head to notice I was maneuvering us away from the well traveled hallways and the risk of interference. Due to the hasty nature of the war some areas of Coruscant’s Pride were still inoperable leaving large parts of the ship empty. In addition, with its designation as a medical facility there was a much smaller troop population on board than on the rest of the ships in the newly created fleet. All of which should have made the possibility of finding some privacy fairly easy.

However, though very much deserted, the particular corridor I found myself leading Padmé down appeared aggravatingly uninterrupted, with no convenient nooks or off-shooting halls. I doubled my pace, mildly surprised that no complaint came forth. Her distracted state wouldn’t last long. Every passing second meant the irate girl behind me was either going to run out of air or words at which time her current obliviousness would vanish like a puff of smoke, and make my task that much more difficult. Fig sog somewhere private was imperative, for despite the apparent isolation of the area you never knew when someone might come along. Recent events had gone along way towards teaching me to expect the unexpected.

I was beginning to despair of ever finding a place to stop when I spied a darkened alcove to one side. A quick glance proved that it led to some sort of still unused service or storage room. There was none of the usual signs designating its function nor had the access panel that would’ve unlocked the door been installed. There wouldn’t be any interfering droids or troopers needing to use that particular alcove for the foreseeable future. In short, it was perfect.

The triumphant smile on my face registered with Padmé about the same time she became aware we were completely alone. Unwilling to give her a chance to react to either of these realizations, I bodily thrust her ahead of me before following her into the poorly lit space.


****

Padmé immediately righted herself, giving the alcove a quick once over with characteristic thoroughness. At the sight of the inoperable door, she sighed resignedly, and all her anger seemed to melt away with that expelled breath. After a moment, she turned toward me, visibly starting when she saw how close we actually were. A guarded look crossed her face as she instantly noticed I was blocking her from leaving.

“Anakin.”

The intent was to issue a warning, a stern reminder that she wasn’t going to put up with more ‘foolishness’ but the effect was ruined by the tremor of apprehension that threaded her normally steady voice. I didn’t respond and the silence agitated her. Padmé tossed her head insolently, trying to prove to us both how completely unconcerned she was at finding herself alone with me once more. That show of bravado didn’t last long. When I remained unmoved and still made no effort to speak, Padmé could not hide her nervousness any longer. A flicker of unease appeared in her eyes and she self-consciously crossed her arms around her middle in a defensive gesture.

The arrogant toss of her head caught my attention and my eyes immediately focused on the mass of disordered brown curls spilling about her shoulders. Since the library she had not worn it up, usually choosing the same simple style she’d worn the day she’d come to me in the garage. Any sense of pleasure at the sight was tempered somewhat by the niggling suspi she she was wearing it that way more to avoid provoking than to please. I shrugged to myself. What did I care what motivated her when the end result was the same. Her capitulation still meant one less symbol, one less reminder of the position I held responsible in part for keeping Padmé from marrying me.

Without a word, I took possession of a lone strand of shining hair from its resting place against the bodice of her gown. The intentional brush of my knuckles against the side of her breast drew forth a reflexive gasp that brought a lazy satisfied smile to my face. Slowly, I wound my prize around one digit, enjoying the feel of the silky texture as I rubbed it between finger and thumb. The action drew Padmé forward, forcing her to take a reluctant step closer. I stared pensively down at the end of the chocolate lock that curled in my palm like a living entity, reliving the memories of it threaded through my fingers while I kissed her breathless.

“What exactly did you think you were doing back there?” I asked without preamble, my voice ringing loudly in the small space. I released my hold, watching as the long curling strand settled back down at her breast before dragging my gaze up to meet her confusion laced eyes.

The calm, conversational tone I’d used took her by surprise. Padmé searched my face uncertainly for a moment, no doubt having expected some scathing curses of my own and when none came she was unprepared. Padmé started to reply but then apparently thought better of it and snapped her mouth shut, compressing her lips together in a tight line as if she was afraid the words might somehow escape on their own.

It was my turn to look perplexed.

Padmé rendered speechless? I tried to wrap my mind around that impossible thought. The normally poised senator, whose very job involved exemplary oratory skills, unable to dredge up some tiresome speech about decorum or appropriate behavior? No imperious admonishment for my ill-mannered behavior? For a few seconds I considered the notion that there really couldn’t be anything as satisfying as ing ing her at her own game. But when my hungry gaze moved down of its own volition to wander over her delectable curves and tantalizing display of bare flesh, I grudgingly admitted I wasn’t entirely correct - there was something infinitely better than rendering Padmé momentarily speechless.

"Stop it." She whispered, catching my appreciative leer.

"Why? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?" I asked with that slow, arrogant smile I knew both irritated and intrigued her. The reference did not go amiss. Her face tightened in annoyance at having her own weak reasoning thrown back at her in such a mocking way.

I met her glare calmly, refusing to back down. One minute stretched out to another and another as we waged war with each other. It was Padmé who looked away first. The heavy sigh that came from her slender body spoke of someone who felt the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. A small hand fluttered up to rub her temple, an air of weary exasperation settling about her like a cloak.

The tense silence continued its reign with Padmé stubbornly refusing to look anywhere in the vicinity of my eyes and I declining to elaborate or explain why I’d dragged her there, though I was fairly sure she already knew. I could feel her internal struggle as she tried to regain some semblance of control over the situation. The underlying sense she was gathering her wits and attempting to rebuild her defenses was unmistakable.

I couldn’t alloat tat to happen.

It was then that I rather belatedly noticed that not once since being unceremoniously thrust into the dim alcove had Padmé attempted to get past me, neither had she made any effort to move away when I had drawn closer. This was a marked change from her behavior on the previous times I had cornered her alone. On those memorable occasions when I’d used all my skills to arouse her only to leave her, and me, aching with need, Padmé had always put up some sort of resistance. And while it was true each encounter had seen a reduction in her verbal protests as well as the time it took her body to melt against mine, never had Padmé appeared so…docile.

I considered the implications of this uneted,ted, though welcome, turn of events. Since Naboo I had been putting all my energy into encouraging Padmé to fall in love me, in seducing her, in making her mine. When she’d admitted she loved me I thought everything was settled. What could be simpler? I loved her, she loved me, and therefore we would get married. But rem removed from the threat of imminent death, Padmé again resorted to hiding behind her role as senator and using my own position as a Jedi to refuse marriage.

Desperation had forced my hand. When I was discharged from the medical center, four days had already passed since the end of the battle. The knowledge that our enforced idleness wouldn’t last much longer coupled with Padmé’s unexpected refusal of my plans had spurred me to take a rather drastic course of action. Time was quickly slipping away and with it my best chance to convince Padmé that marriage, albeit one cloaked in secrecy, was the only answer to our situation.

I would’ve been a fool to think those unique circumstances would present themselves again. I knew every moment away from her responsibilities, her friends and family, and even her Nubian staff, meant one more chanced opportuni Lik Like a predator that targets a lone member of the herd, I’d followed her doggedly, stepping up the pressure every time I sensed her falter, waiting for the moment when she succumbed so I could move in for the kill.

Over the past few days I’d searched with growing urgency for any indication that Padmé was about to stumble under the weight of the great motivator - sexual frustration. Now, with this new and out of the ordinary behavior, came the relieved awareness that victory was very possibly close at hand. With her teetering precariously on the abyss of surrender, it was more necessary than ever to forge ahead. I had to keep her off balance, to keep from getting the chance to breath. If I backed off even for a moment, it would give her the opportunity to regroup and fortify her defenses.

There wasn’t a chance in Sith’s hell that I was going to allow that to happen. Especially not when I smelled victory in the ship’s recycled air.

A wave of red hot desire hit me hard as I regarded the slender girl who was still refusing to meet my eye. Gods, I couldn’t look at her without wanting her. I couldn’t want her without acting on that impulsive need. The constant longing when in her company fired my blood and promised to one day consume me if she wouldn’t give in.

Calling on every calming technique I knew, I forced myself to keep my head, the effort costing me considerably more than I cared to admit. With the gentle pressure of my fingers beneath her chin, I tipped Padmé’s face upwards. Brown eyes flecked with gold gazed back at me with a wary expression hovering in their depths. The pad of my thumb caressed the gentle curve of her jaw, brushing across her soft skin. She tried to suppress the delicate shiver that ran through her at my touch but couldn’t quite pull if off.

Padmé remained unnaturally still, her eyes glued to mine as if bound by some powerful spell beyond her ability to break. Under my hungry gaze her breathing rate increased, coming in quick, shaky gasps, the puffs of air warming the flesh of my thumb as I ran it over her bottom lip.

There was no predication from Padmé as my hand slid over her smooth skin to lightly cup the side of her face. mallmall smile touched my eyes when, despite her obvious apprehension, she couldn’t stop herself from pressing her cheek into my palm. Padmé’s eyelids fluttered shut for a fleeting moment, the feather-light sweep of her eyelashes brushing the tip of one finger like gossamer silk. I marveled all over again that a creature such as her could actually love me. If only she would just give in, I thought. Then maybe my heart would stop aching.

I slid my metal hand around her waist, coming to rest at the small of her back, splaying my fingers to both draw her a little nearer and also to keep her firmly in place. A warm feeling spread in my chest as tellingly there was still no attempt made to pull away. Maybe it was over. And I actually dared to hope that I’d finally won. But there still was that little matter of the bridge incident. I didn’t care for the way she had trifled with my emotions so callously. Despite my unethical tactics to win Padmé, I had never once considered using another woman to play on her emotions. A sarcastic voice in my head mocked me for my new found piety but I shook it off determinedly. I’ve always been goo pic picking and choosing what I wanted to hear, at seeing what I wanted to see.

The memory of her beguiling laughter in response to something Benor said echoed in my head, its flirtatious sound dredging up a new and odd combination of feelings. There was the expected burning jealously that ate away at my insides like corrosive acid and something else; a strange and exhilarating streak of proprietary pride. The knowledge that this other man wanted Padmé angered me yet at the same time it also increased my own desire; a primitive response to someone coveting one’s mate. And knowing she was mine, that neither Benor nor anyone else would ever have her gave me an unsettling but arousing thrill that was part possessiveness and part instinctual animal lust.

“You did it on purpose, didn’t you?” I asked suddenly, allowing a trace of remembered anger into my voice.

The sound of my voice shattered the uneasy silence, taking her by riserise. Her brow furrowed as she tried to comprehend what I was talking about. But before she could put a voice to the question forming in her mind, I continued on.

“Did you let him touch you while I watched, knowing how it would make me feel?” I said in a low, pleasant tone that held a hint of burning ice.

Padmé recoiled at my insinuation but I’d been prepared for such a response and the hard hand at her back kept her in place. Her startled eyes flew wide and then she hurriedly tore her gaze away – but not before I had my answer. It was just a glimmer, a revealing expression that flitted across her face for one second too long. And she’d been too late in hiding it from me.

Until I asked that loaded question, I honestly don’t think Padmé realized what had motivated her to allow, if not encourage, Benor’s flirtation. Her Force signature was a mixed up jumble of fragmented emotions, indicative of the recent emotional upheaval in her life. Sorting through a confusion of Force tainted thoughts for any kind of personal insight while operating within such a short time span was near impossible for a non-Jedi. However, it was that very turmoil which made her so susceptible to my manipulations, both internal and external.

Padmé could try and deny it all she wanted but I had seen the excitement and feminine triumph glinting in those innocent eyes a millisecond before she’d looked away. So she wanted to play a game, I thought grimly. Well, if a game was what she wanted then I was only too happy to oblige milady. Besides, I was suddenly very interested in where her unexpected machinations would take us.

“Yes, I see you did.”

The knowing contempt in my voice made her cringe in embarrassment though her beautiful lying eyes remained irritatingly defiant.

“Taking a page from your handmaidens’ book, milady? My, my…how the mighty have fallen.” I murmured reprovingly.

A pink tide swept upwards from her neck to her face at my goading allusion to a particular conversation we’d had on one of our many walks around the lake retreat. It had been one of the occasions when she’d forgotten she was supposed to be keeping me at arms length and her flirtatious mood led her to topics that did little to keep my mind off of how much I wanted her.

I was never sure how but at some point Padmé’s amusing anecdotes about life within the Nubian court had turned to stories of romantic intrigue. It was through her handmaiden’s dalliances that she’d first seen how jealousy could be used in both love and revenge and it had left her disdainful. Such petty games were cruel and beneath us, she’d explained to me with the decided air of someone who didn’t have a clue as to what she was talking about.

I’d been rather touched by her innocent views, by the honesty and forthrightness with which she viewed her world, and had marveled anew that she’d retained such pristine beliefs in the face of so much ugliness. Never having been burnt by passion’s fire, Padmé had neither appreciated nor understood the dangerous power that jealousy wielded in the games between men and women…until now.

The discovery that she was no better than anyone else when it came to doing foolish things in the name of love kept her color high. The fact that she’d actually been caught behaving in such a despised stereotypical fashion was a blow to her pride. Especially for someone who normally exemplified honesty and ethical behavior.

I circled behind her stiffly held frame, making no effort to hide my arrogant smirk. The hand at her back slipped from its position to slide around her side and trailing lazily across the flat plane of her bared abdomen. A swift intake of air came as the cool metal moved over the warmth of her skin. Or perhaps it was in response to what I whispered next.

“I didn’t like him touching you. But then you knew that.”

I came to a stop directly behind Padmé and buried my face in her hair, inhaling the clean scent that was as intoxicating to me as Alderaani wine. I drew the silky mass to one side, pressing my lips against the shell of her ear. A tremor rippled through her as my hot breath feathered across her skin in the company of my next words.

“I could read his thoughts, you know.” I murmured softly. I was lying through my teeth but she didn’t know that. “The captain admires you; I can’t fault him for that. He thinks you’re a woman of impeccable virtue, although that doesn’t stop him from wanting you.”

An inarticulate noise came from Padmé, a little sound that might have been a protest at my provocative words or a reaction to the sharp nip I gave the lobe of her ear.

I waited, expecting at any moment she would try to pull away again. With the exception of her responsive recoil at my first goading question, she hadn’t protested any of my caresses but it was clear she was still waging an internal war. By her side, Padmé’s hands were bunched into tight fists, a telling indication of her continued fight to maintain some sort of nominal control. I offered up a silent pray of thanks to whatever god was listening before knocking another hole in her defenses.

My hands slithered down to encircle her tiny waist firmly.

“I could tell you about the things he wanted to do to you.” I whispered before snapping my hips sharply forward at the same time I pulled Padmé back hard against me. My aroused nature was undeniable against her backside.

A strangled cry was torn from Padmé and her hands flew up to grasp frantically at mine. All attempts at maintaining the illusion she had any control over the situation forgotten in an instant. Tangling her fingers with my own, I guided our entwined hands in a slow slide down to the apex of her thighs.

“Or would you prefer that I show them to you?” I murmured huskily, tracing the line of her jaw with the tip of my tongue.

Padmé groaned low in her throat in token denial even as a violent tremble of desire racked her body. Not bothering to wait for any other response, I began a slow repeated regimen of hard pressure followed by release, establishing a sensuous rhythm that tormented us both with the building pleasure. Padmé’s head lolled back against my chest with a helpless thud as she fell a little further under passion’s hypnotic influence.

My breathing was coming in ragged bursts, overshadowing Padmé’s harsh gasps for air as her body responded to my inciting ministrations. The rapid rise and fall of her chest sent her breasts forward and up, beckoning, begging for attention. I untangled my left hand despite the whimper of complaint from Padmé, intent on another goal. I caressed the taut flesh of her belly, luxuriating in the silky texture of her skin as my hand continued its ascent. The light fabric comprising the top of her dress proved little hindrance and the sound of our combined guttural moans filled the little alcove as I cupped the weight of one breast in my palm, kneading it and rolling the hardened nipple between finger and thumb.

“Do you know how much he wishes huld uld touch you like this?” My voice was thick with lust and want, sounding foreign to my own ears.

A choked whimper worked its way from between her lips, the words shocking and arousing her simultaneously. What I was saying to her bore no resemblance to her schoolgirl’s view of love talk and she was bewildered by how exciting she was finding it. Padmé was torn by the fact that it wasn’t just my caresses driving her to the point of no return, that it was also the coarse words and tone setting her on fire.

I smiled crookedly.

Little by little, Padmé was going to discover her staid, sweet romantic ideals for the frauds they were. We were kindred spirits and we were destined to be together. I would teach her things, take her places she’d never dared to dream existed.

I nuzzled my lips against her cheek, soft strands of hair tickling my skin. The heady scent of vanilla rose around me, intensifying with the increase in her body heat. At the touch of my lips, Padmé willingly moved her head further to the side, exposing the smooth column of her neck for my approval. A growl rumbled from me and then my mouth fell voraciously on her perfumed flesh. I attacked the beating pulse at the base of her neck, using my teeth and tongue to nip and lick the spot that was guaranteed to drive her wild with want.

“Gods, Anakin….please!”

With every bite, lick and suck at her sensitive skin, Padmé writhed against me, the little mewling cries of pleasure I loved so much inciting me, driving me slowly crazed with need. My arousal was straining against the confining pants, growing impossibly harder each time Padmé let out another breathy moan. If I was made to stop this time by another marriage refusal I wasn’t sure I could be held responsible for my actions, I thought darkly.

A tremor rippled through Padmé and her grip on my metal hand tightened. Against her scented skin I allowed myself the luxury of a smug smile. A second later it was abruptly wiped away as Padmé, lost to the seductive forces, instinctively began to grind back against me, creating a torturous friction that threatened to destroy my already tenuous hold on my restraint.

Abruptly, I whipped her around, pulling her pliant body up hard against mine. My hands slid roughly into her hair at either side of her head, framing her face. There was a sudden air of desperation guiding my actions. I traced the line of her cheekbones with my thumbs as I held her face steady under my heated gaze. Eyes glazed with reciprocating lust and desire bore into mine, nearly sending me over the edge.

Not yet, not yet, my inner voice cautioned. I swallowed hard, studying her flushed face and the quivering lips I had yet to taste, and I knew if ever there had existed the smallest possibility I could’ve let her go in the name of duty, it had just vanished forever.

The emotional kaleidoscope rolling and swirling within frightened me. I needed her so badly my entire body was shaking with it. Overwhelmed, my forehead fell forward to rest against hers. Our lips were only centimeters apart, our jagged breath mingling to rasp loudly in our ears. Gods, I loved her so much, so intensely that at times I feared for my sanity. Men had killed for beauty such as hers and I understood why. I had to have her….now.

“Mi te’el kile’t su tia’n neela vonet.” I said, my lips barely brushing hers. “Ilané tu ay se’lo milé cera.”

The seductive words worked their magic and Padmé’s legs, already weakened with desire, buckled without warning. Instead of stopping the descent, I merely controlled it, joining her in the descent, cushioning the fall with my body. We fell together in a disordered heap of clin han hands and trembling limbs, eventually ending up with Padmé sitting across my lap, arms wrapped around my neck and my right arm supporting her reclined back. In an instant, I had captured her mouth with mine, cutting off any chance of her voicing an objection.

Padmé’s lips parted easily under the hard pressure of my lips and at the insistence of my seeking tongue. I explored the hot, moist cavern of her mouth relentlessly, reveling in her sweet taste, the way she moved against me in such an unconsciously provocative manner, and the way her hands clutched at the back of my head to pull me even closer. I kneaded her covered breast roughly, pinching and rolling her aroused nipple between my fingers. Padmé squirmed in my lap, rubbing herself against my straining arousal with delicious abandon.

Our kiss deepened until we were sharing one breath, one heart beat between us. My unsteady hand slid from Padmé’s breast to pull her skirt up with jerky, desperate movements, grunting in triumph when I finally contacted the silken flesh of her inner thigh. An appreciative noise rumbled in my chest as my seeking fingers ran over the damp silk between her legs. Padmé moaned into my mouth as I slipped beneath to stroke and explore her wet folds.

I broke away from our impassioned kiss winning a protesting sound from Padmé in the process. My gaze was piercing as I looked into her passion glazed eyes that darkene my my thumb teased and circled her most intimately. We were both breathing hard, our chests heaving in an effort to make up for the minutes of deprivation imposed. Shaking with a volatile mixture of lust, jealousy, and pain, I had to clench my jaw in order to speak.

“I wonder what the good captain would think if he could see you now, milady?” I hissed cruelly, “The respectable senator from Naboo with her Jedi protector’s hand up her skirt?”

As the last word left my mouth, I brutally slicked three fingers into her velvety core without warning, eliciting a scream that had nothing to do with pain. With the initial thrust, Padmé flung her head back in abandonment, her body arching sharply as she repeated my name on a desperate cry. Her left arm lost its grip at my shoulder and fell, coming to rest on my thigh. The thin material offered little protection from her tightening grasp as she dug her fingers in, bracing herself to meet the d thd thrusts of my fingers. Writhing with pleasure, Padmé instinctively rocked her hips to the sensuous rhythm I was setting.

I lowered my head to her breast proffered by the arch of her body and sucked hard at the peaked nipple thrusting enticingly beneath her dress. The material blunted the sharpness of my teeth but not enough and Padmé sucked in a harsh breath. I worried the hardened nub until her mewling cries of pleasure were echoing off the walls and words of supplication spilled from her lips.

The feel of her, the smell of her, the taste of her overwhelmed me to the point that I was on the verge of throwing my plan aside for the temporary satisfaction that burying myself in her body would have afforded. Just in time I remembered the purpose of this erotic exercise and it wasn’t to achieve the oblivion of release. Not unless I heard what I wanted to hear.

With more willpower than I thought myself capable of, I suddenly withdrew my fingers from her tight passage. Padmé’s head came up with a start as she gulped air into her taxed lungs. Unfocused brown eyes stared blindly at my grim face. Having gone through similar meetings several times over the past few days she knew without my saying anything why I had called a halt.

“Anakin, please don’t……” She began only to come to a skittering halt as I let my fingertips slid down the soft flesh of her inner thigh.

A staggered breath escaped her, my hand moving furtherm whm where she most wanted it to be. I held her pleading gaze for an endless moment, slowly trailing my fingers back to the juncture of her thighsemptempting, teasing.

“You want me to stay? You want to finish this?” I brushed a finger over her aching bundle of nerves a little more firmly than was comfortable and Padmé’s hips bucked. “You know what you have to do then.”

A wordless moan of frustration and despair rose from her throat and her eyes sparked with aroused hunger. Padmé was wavering and I was sure that any second she would give me what I wanted. I bent to tease the corner of her mouth with the tip of my tongue, trailing my lips over the contours of her face while murmuring encouragingly against her soft warm flesh.

“Just…say…you’ll…marry…me.”

“You know I can’t say yes.” Padmé gasped in despair.

I pulled my hand from beneath her skirt and rose to my feet, hauling Padmé up with me, not caring if I was too rough. I didn’t bother to hide either my anger or my sudden contempt. A slave boy was good enough for a tumble with the senator but not quite up to marriage material, the voice from the Tusken camp whispered, pouring its poison in my ear.

“Can’t or won’t? I think we both know which one it is.” I said bitterly. “You’re playing games, toying with my feelings. Is that what being a politician has taught you?”

“No! Anakin…..if you would only listen to reason….” Padmé began in that tone guaranteed to set my teeth on edge.

“And what ‘reason’ is that? I asked, cutting off her weak attempt to placate me. “Tne tne that tells you what happened between us was of such little importance you can turn your back on it? Do you have any idea how that cheapens what we have, how it cheapens you?”

The disheveled girl took an automatic step backwards at the derision in my voice, self-consciously straightening her clothes with trembling hands. Once again Padmé refused to meet my eyes. A second later I found out why.

In a small and barely audible voice she said, “It was only supposed to be one night.”

The words were whispered so softly it took a moment for the implication of what she had said to sink in and then the phrase ‘one night’ rang in my ears over and over like a death knell. A cold hand squeezed my heart with punishing fingers of ice. The muscles in my face felt stiff and frozen. And then something de mde me fractured.

One night? And this was supposed to make it better?!

To this day I don’t know how I kept my hands off of her. The urge to shake her until her teeth rattled nearly overwhelmed me.

“One night? One night! Who decided it was for one night, Padmé, because it wasn’t me. I had no say in this decision of yours, I never did!” I shouted.

Three days of sheer torture, of being close to her but never really connecting, of constantly being treated as if my feelings – our feelings - didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things; it all came rapidly to a head. It seemed with Padmé everyone in the galaxy deserved happiness but us.

Padmé had the grace to look somewhat shamefaced, a stricken expression in her eyes, but she offered nothing in her defense, remaining maddeningly silent. The breath in my throat caught as another thought bled poison into my heart. Even as the words formed in my head, I knew I was being completely unfair, that I was rewriting history to justify my hurt. I pushed aside the fact that Padmé had had little choice that night on Tatooine. I dismissed the fact she’d offered herself up as a sacrifice to save me. The anger and fear I’d been having such difficulty in controlling as of late rushed upwards like a wild fire, spreading ever outwards, and I couldn’t keep myself from lashing out.

My voice dropped several more degrees, each word practically a sneer. "This ‘one night’ you gave me, milady. Do I take it to mean you would've given yourself to anyone as long as it was only for a night? Perhaps Captain Benor is the next lucky recipient?"

Under my furious gaze blazing with something akin to hatred, the blood drained from Padmé’s face, leaving it as white as clone trooper’s armor. Her hand flew to her trembling mouth and she leaned back heavily against the wall for much needed support. Without another word, I spun; leaving her there with stunned eyes, haunted with shock and hurt. I didn’t look back.

As I rounded the first corner of that long passageway, I was already regretting my cruel words. Yet I knew that I wouldn’t take them back. My mutinous desire to strike out and hurt her as she had hurt me had been too strong to ignore. Padmé could spend eternity telling me that we would never be and still I would try.

I stopped short, struck by the sudden fear that I had possibly just alienated her irrevocably. No! It would not end like this. I refused to let it end like this.

I clamped down on my doubts and straightened my shoulders resolutely, continuing down the hall with my robe billowing out behind me. No, I wouldn’t believe it. I could not for one moment think I was defeated. I would prevail and she would say ‘yes’ just as my long ago vision had foretold. Padmé would come to me.

And later that day, as I took an impromptu nap on the couch in the stateroom, she did.


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TBC
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