PotC MST

For the record, its really hard to write these things when I only have two friends writing stories for me (and they're getting bored). So if anyone wants to write something really awful... AlienEeeter@yahoo.com

*****

Jack sat on one side of the table, Norrington on the other. There was a bottle next to each of them, and two shot glasses that they had found on top of the refrigerator. “nineteen,” Elizabeth said in a bored tone, and both men knocked back a shot. Then they refilled their glasses, Norrington’s hand wavering.

“I’m impressed you’ve gotten this far,” Jack said, his voice only slightly more slurred than normal.

“Fucking pirate,” Norrington muttered, trying to focus on the drink before him. “I tol’ you I could drink as much. I been practicing.”

“Practicing,” Will said from where he was laying on the couch. “Is that what you call it?”

“You know I‘ve been wondering,” Norrington said, taking another drink before Elizabeth had counted out the next round. “You’re a *blacksmith.* He’s a pirate. I was a bloody commodore! I was respected, I was rich. I had a nifty white wig that made me look so important. What do they have that I didn’t?”

“Game over,” Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t want to have to listen to this until he passes out.”

“That will be shortly,” Will assured.

“Well Elizabeth? What is it about them?”

“I’m not going to discuss this with you while you’re in this condition, Norrington.”

“I wanted so much for you to call me James, you know that? Or Jimmy. I thought I would like for you to call me that.”

“Yoo hoo!” They heard the devil-woman’s voice before she appeared, slowly fading into view. She wore a black leather bikini, thigh high fishnet stockings, and spike-heeled black boots. “I brought you another story.”

“I’m going to pass out now,” Norrington said.

“Don’t pass out yet, Jimmy. You’ll like this one.”

>>>>>>Title: Pirates of the Carabean: The best pirate captain EVER!!!

JACK: It’s about me! I’m so excited.

WILL: You mean you’re so sarcastic.

JACK: That too.

>>>>>>Author: ~Tali
Rating: R/NC-17
WARNING: Not quite sure yet... Threesome/Bondage/Beating/Midgets... all sort of kinky stuff.

JACK: I changed my mind. I am excited.

NORRINGTON: Figures. You know, I am a good christian man with the highest moral values, Elizabeth. Doesn’t that make me worthy of you?

ELIZABETH: No, it makes you *boring.*

>>>>Disclaimer: I do not own the charecters, the Carabean, or any pirates.
Feedback: Please!! *bounces like a crack monkey*

&&&&&&&&&&&

WILL: Now when she says she doesn’t own us, what does that mean exactly? That someone else does?

>>>>>Breaches streached tight across teh taunt bottom of the Ships Captain.

ELIZABETH: Fragmented sentence. Naughty, naughty.

JACK: Yes, but see how nice I look in that sentence?

>>>>>The billowy white shirt was unlaced and open at the throat. At one time the Captian had worn a lovely grey coat but now opted for a royal purple vest.

JACK: Except I would never wear purple.

ELIZABETH: I think you’d look rather lovely in purple.

JACK: Well maybe I could try it sometime.

NORRINGTON: Have I passed out yet?

WILL: No. (raising his fist) Shall I hurry you along?

>>>>>Sick looking black boots made the out fit perfect and the amazing looking hat topped the outfit off.

JACK: Because the hat indeed makes the man. I like this story. Paints me in a wonderful light.

ELIZABETH: Yes. It’s easy to make you look good when they can’t make the paper smell like you.

>>>>>The shit was bustling iwth activity today as they had just taken another ship.

ELIZABETH: I desperately hope that was a typographical mistake.

>>>>>>As pirates they'd shot it full of holes, and boarded stealing everything and shoving most people over board.

ELIZABETH: How exciting! I wish that’s what we were doing, instead of trapped in this room.

WILL: With two drunks.

JACK: I’m not drunk.

WILL: You’ve been drunk so long you cant tell the difference from sober.

>>>>>>>The crew was fully of men and wemen were slaughtered and thats just how the Captain liked it.

JACK: Excuse me. I don’t ‘slaughter.’ I only kill the ones that get in my way of the booty.

NORRINGTON: That’s what you tell these two, isn’t it? Seducing them into your world, masqua--mask--pretending to be a good man, when the truth is you’re just like all the rest of them, killing men, raping women--

JACK: Excuse me? I don’t rape women. Me mum was a woman. Besides, I don’t need to. All women *beg* for a piece of Captain Jack Sparrow. Right Elizabeth?

ELIZABETH: (looking away) I wouldn’t know.

>>>>>>>Will jumped up to stand next to his Captain, he would take orders from hsi Captain until the day he died happily.

WILL: Okay, I’m getting sick of these ‘Will loves Jack’ stories.

ELIZABETH: But you *do* love Jack.

WILL: Not like that!

>>>>>>He was well trained. Jack Sparrow steared teh ship and glanced back at his amazing Captain. Jack was now well trained too.

JACK: Wait a minute! Hold everything! I’m not the captain? I’m always the captain. No one else is allowed. It’s against the rules.

>>>>>>He smiled, because Elizabeth in drag was a much bettwe captain then he had ever been. She was so sexy in her mens cloths and ruthless.

ELIZABETH: (laughing gleefully) I’m the captain! And I have the two of you trained! I’m the one who looks nice in the tight trousers.

JACK: Oh, shut up.

WILL: At least she’s not a man.

>>>>>>She looked like a young boy and who doesn't love little boys, Jack offten asked himself.

JACK: I don’t.

NORRINGTON: Yes you do. Firstly, you’re a despicable pirate, and pirates are prone to sodomy. Second, the one story already said you liked cabin boys.

JACK: What do you know about pirates and sodomy?

>>>>> He pouted a little, tonight it was Will's turn to sleep in the Captain's bed. He'd gotten to last night, she forced them take turns unless she was in a really frisky mood and wanted to take on all cummers.

NORRINGTON: *Now* I’m going to pass out. (he passes out)

>>>>>>> Every one got a turn, even Norrington.

ELIZABETH: Oh look. The poor thing missed it. Shall I wake him up so we can read it to him again?

WILL & JACK: No!

>>>>>>Will and he got to be in her bed at least Once a week, Marty the Midget got the same preferential treatment.

JACK: Elizabeth. I didn’t know you liked the strange and unusual.

ELIZABETH: Well, what do you think you are?

WILL: You told me you hated kissing him!

ELIZABETH: I did. I hated every second of it. But he did do it very well.

WILL: I don’t believe this. . .

ELIZABETH: How can I prove myself to you?

WILL: I don’t know.

>>>>>>>> Jack thought it had something to do with all the screaming Elizabeth did when marty got to stay with her.

JACK: Little whore.

ELIZABETH: It’s just a story.

>>>>>>Looking back Jack snorted, it could be worse he coudl be poor little whipped WIll. Ever since he got that beating from his Daddy the boy just hadn't been quite right.

WILL: Alright. That’s enough. (throws the story down in disgust) They are not going to bring my father into this.

ELIZABETH: It’s okay. They don’t know what they’re talking about. (picks up the papers) I’ll finish. I do want to know what happens.

>>>>>>Now he was on his hands and knee's licking Captain Elizabeth's boots.

WILL: (burying his face in the arm of the couch.) Dear lord.

JACK: I like this version of you.

WILL: I hate you.

ELIZABETH: I like this version of me.

JACK: Figures.

>>>>>>>Her eyes were glazing over and Jack knew she was about to put a show on for the crew, because of how well they had all done.

WILL: (head still buried) Show?

>>>>>>When she gave a whistle the crew grabbed their stools and a few even just sat on the deck. Elizabeth pulled Will down to the Mast by his nipple. She had pirced his nipple for the crew a couple of months ago.

JACK: (making a face) You do that? That’s nasty.

WILL: This is horrible.

ELIZABETH: This is fun!

WILL: (lifting his head to glare at her) Fun? This isn’t fun!

>>>>>> Taking his shirt off she laughed as the crew gave wolf whistles. Then hissed as she had put Will in a cock ring and put a ring around his balls also so that he was hard until SHE decided he could cum.

JACK: Not exactly sure what’s going on here, but it doesn’t sound pleasant. (pauses while his thoughts catch up with him) You didn’t hesitate to read those words aloud, did you luv?

ELIZABETH: Just because I look like a lady, doesn’t mean I am one.

JACK: Don’t worry. You don’t look, sound, or act like one. If I didn’t know any better I wouldn’t believe if someone said you were a governor’s daughter.

ELIZABETH: Thank you.

>>>>>>>Whistling Marty grinningly braught her a lovely leather whip. She made Will kiss it.

JACK: Kinky. I like it.

>>>>>>"Please Captain... please spank me." Will whimpered and pleaded. Chained to the Mast with his back and ass in the air.

WILL: I’ve never been so humiliated in my life. Stop reading.

ELIZABETH: Why?

WILL: Elizabeth, please!

ELIZABETH: I love it when you beg, Will. (Will buries his head in the couch cushion again.) Too bad our dear Norrington is missing all this.

>>>>>>"Shall I?" She asked her crew with a beautiful smile. At the whoops and hollars she started to beat Will, and Will started to hump the air like a dog.

JACK: That’s a visual that’s going to stay with me for a while.

>>>>>After about fifty lashes she unchained the boy pirate wanna be

WILL: I don’t want to be a pirate!

>>>>>>and tossed him over a barrel. Stripping down she jumped on his hard dingy and started bouncing and screaming. The crew ad Jack watched in awe and started panting.

ELIZABETH: Will, you may want to cover your virgin ears.

WILL: I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.

ELIZABETH: Doing what?

WILL: Reading that story. It’s humiliating and wrong.

JACK: Oh, don’t be such a poufter. Miss Elizabeth, please, continue.

>>>>>>Soon she was cumming over and over like a gyser. The crew was all stroking their hard cocks and dumming on her and Will. Finally she climbed off and kissed Marty.

JACK: Why does he get to have all the fun? I’m twice the man he is. Literally.

ELIZABETH: Don’t be mean!

JACK: What? You know as well as I do that if I said it to his face he would knock me cold in one punch. Got to get my kicks in while I can. . .

>>>>>Marty lead her to her cabin and Will never got to cum.

ELIZABETH: Poor Will.

JACK: Yep, poor little Willie.

>>>>>>Jack just shook his head and sighed, she was a REAL MAN...

JACK: More a man than Will, in any case.

WILL: If we ever get out of here, I’ll kill you.

JACK: If we ever get out of here I’ll be dead again.

ELIZABETH: I never thought of that. . .

>>>>>>and a much much better Captain then he had been. They'd never mutiny on her. Captain Elizabeth was the most popular Pirate Captain ever and men faught to be on her crew.

End

“Wasn’t that a delightful story?” The devil woman had returned.

“When you send us back, will Jack be dead again?” Elizabeth asked.

“Jack!” Will exclaimed. “Who cares about Jack! Why do people keep writing these awful stories about me?”

“Because you’re fun to torture. As for Jack? Yes. Dead.”

“Well, maybe we wouldn’t mind staying a while then.”

Will stared at her, incredulous. “We would mind! Besides, we were just about to go rescue him from the dead when we got pulled into this dreadful place.”

“But what if we can’t do it, and die trying ourselves? We don’t know.”

Will turned back to their host. “But this is the future. She knows.”

The woman shook her head. “The third movie isn’t out yet. Let’s compromise. I’ll keep you here until the third movie comes out. And if things end well, I’ll let you go. If they don’t, I’ll keep you here as long as you want. Sound fair?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Yes. I like that. Jack? Will?”

“Fine idea to me,” Jack said.

Will sighed. “If that’s what you want. But what about him?” He pointed to Norrington passed out on the floor.

The woman thought for a moment. “I think the couch folds out into a bed. Let’s at least make him comfortable until he wakes up.”