Gilbert's New Girl

Chapter Four

Gilbert didn’t come home till late Sunday afternoon and he was very subdued. I asked him about the softball match and he said it was fine, but he didn’t feel like talking. ‘I got a hangover and I feel like shit.’ I made him some coffee and he fell asleep in front of the television while supposedly watching ‘Deep Space Nine’. I called Sally. ‘He drank too much because we had a row’ she told me, sounding tearful. ‘I was tired of waiting for him to make the first move,’ she continued, speaking in almost a whisper, ‘so I asked him to marry me. He turned me down, Amy. He said no, and he couldn’t give me a reason why. I asked him if he loved me and he said he wasn’t sure. Jesus, how can he not be sure after four years!’ As I listened to Sally wailing and moaning, once more it occurred to me that Sally would be better off with Tucker, because there was something profoundly wrong with Gilbert and I. Neither of us were capable of settling for second best. Both of us would live with nothing before compromising our ideals. ‘You just caught him off guard,’ I told her, but I knew my excuse was pitiful. ‘Give him a couple of days to get used to the idea and he’ll come round.’ We both knew it wasn’t going to happen, but we both pretended to believe it….at least for now.

All of the following week was spent under the shadow of Gilbert’s unhappiness but neither of us spoke about the reasons. His misery just simmered away below the surface until on the Thursday I told him Ellen had called. ‘Janice is coming to visit her and Ellen thought we should all get together one night for dinner.’ Gilbert opened and closed the fridge door three times before he replied. ‘You do whatever you want Amy, but I’m not prepared to pretend everything is hunky dory---not after what Janice did to you. And you know me and Ellen just rub each other up the wrong way, so I’ll take a rain check on the reunion dinner.’ He grabbed a bottle of beer, slammed the fridge door shut and walked out of the kitchen. I followed him through to the living room. ‘They’re still our sisters, Gilbert, our flesh and blood. We can’t just ignore them.’ He took a deep swig from the bottle and said, ‘Maybe you can’t, but I can. Just watch me Amy, just watch me!’ Dear God, here we go again! Nothing ever changes in this family, we just can’t learn to let each other be. I suppose we should be grateful that Larry seems to have forgotten we exist. Perhaps the thought of Larry was sent to Gilbert telepathically, because he bowed his head and said quietly, ‘And if that bastard Larry shows up, one of us will be dead and the other will be up for murder.’

I called Ellen later that day and suggested that I came over to Elmsdale and had lunch with her and Janice. No, Gilbert couldn’t make it, I lied, he was short staffed at the store. The next night Tucker and I drove to Millers Point to play Bingo. God, how I hate Bingo, but it was somewhere to go, somewhere that got me away from Endora, and away from Gilbert. Tucker looked glum when I asked him what Gilbert had told him about the break up with Sally. ‘He seemed kind of sad about it all. He said he didn’t want to finish it with Sally but that he wasn’t ready for marriage.’ ‘He’ll be forty in a couple of weeks, how ready does he have to be? Doesn’t he know how lucky he is to get a girl like Sally?’ Tucker shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘See, the thing is Amy, Gilbert feels like he could never settle down with someone like Sally. He’s real fond of her and all, but she’s too conventional for him. He wants someone to shake him out of his complacency, you know? Like Becky did? He needs someone like her.’ Jesus wept! The last thing my brother needs is another Becky! ‘Well maybe it’s time you told him that it’s time to let go of his dreams and start facing reality. He’s almost forty and there ain’t no queue of women waiting outside the door. Sally Morrow is as good as it gets for Gilbert, and she’s better than most men have to settle for. You tell him to wake up and smell the coffee, tell him to forget that little tramp he’s got working for him.’