Nine Lives
folder
M through R › Predator
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
6,296
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
M through R › Predator
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
6,296
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Predator movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Four
Chapter Four
………Normally, when Boris wanted to wake me to fulfil some purpose of his making, he would sit on my face until the lack of oxygen brought me out of whatever more pleasant realm my sleeping brain was inhabiting. With me sleeping off the shame of my bucket adventure laying face down in a corner, he simply bit my ass.
Hey, Mum, I’m bored.
“Muffa wuh?”
You ‘wake?
“Mmmmmmmm…no.”
I can help with that. You have more butt, I have sharp teeth. Wanna play joint the dots?
“M’up, m’up!”
Soooooooo…notice anything different?
“Um…you had a hair cut?”
You think I’d let one of these amateurs near my fluffy bits? I mean this whole…weird feeling. Like when I fall out of a tree but…bigger.
I looked around and realised that I was looking…down! At the ceiling! I clung to the floor for dear life and screwed both eyes shut. As usual my fervent attempts to escape reality were interrupted by a familiar voice.
Hey Mum! I’m swimming! I’m swimming!
I wasn’t hanging on the floor any more and Boris was…well you must have seen those film clips of the frog in zero gravity those guys took up in the space shuttle. Like that but slightly less amphibian.
You’d be amazed what zero gravity does to a butt that big. Normally it would spread out to cover whatever he was sitting on. Now it had a mind of its own and churned like a large thunder cloud filmed in time lapse.
The funnier part, however, was the way it pancaked with a loud plop! when the gravity came back again.
Urrrrrr. I think I need a transplant.
“Uh huh? Really? Well seeing as that’s not an option can I ask the funboys driving this heap to get you anything?”
Ice cream.
“Mmmpossible. What flavour?”
Doesn’t matter. It’s for my ass.
******************
………A few minutes later and the door whooshed open. How come the doors on our space shuttles don’t do that? They just sort of go uurp, as if the annoyingly robotic yet sensual female A.I. computer voice has belched after an impressive batch of chilli. If I ever get to speak to anyone at NASA I’ll have to bring it up. The whooshing is so much more professional.
It was numero uno with the nice pecs again. He motioned to both of us and then jerked his head toward the door. Confused, as was the norm by now, I just looked at him. He purred at me and then nodded toward the exit again.
I think he likes you.
“He watched me hoover my ass cheeks into and then out of a bucket. The latter part from a ringside seat with accompanying munchies.”
Well, yeah, but I don’t think he’d have done that if he didn’t like what he saw.
“Sitting around eating popcorn doesn’t mean he wants to wear my ass as a hat, it means he most likely went without a lot of important things as a child and gets kicks out of the misery of others.”
You have no sense of adventure or romance do you?
“You like him so much be my guest. With impressive muscles like that I’m sure you’ll find him all the man you could ever want.”
You think he has nice muscles?
“Shut up. I mean no. I mean shut up.”
Woohoo! You think he’s seeeeexy you want to smoooooch him you like his booooooody!
“As soon as I think of something suitably vicious to say in response to that I’ll let you know.”
Smug little fucker.
I turned and looked at the predator.
“Would you please do me a favour and eat him?”
The predator’s eyes widened in horror and his dreadlocks flew as he shook his head adamantly. He pointed at my big assed boy and uttered just one word.
GOD.
If there was anything worse than a smug cat it was a smug cat who’d just been deified. He trembled with ill contained delight.
I was never going to live this down.
………Normally, when Boris wanted to wake me to fulfil some purpose of his making, he would sit on my face until the lack of oxygen brought me out of whatever more pleasant realm my sleeping brain was inhabiting. With me sleeping off the shame of my bucket adventure laying face down in a corner, he simply bit my ass.
Hey, Mum, I’m bored.
“Muffa wuh?”
You ‘wake?
“Mmmmmmmm…no.”
I can help with that. You have more butt, I have sharp teeth. Wanna play joint the dots?
“M’up, m’up!”
Soooooooo…notice anything different?
“Um…you had a hair cut?”
You think I’d let one of these amateurs near my fluffy bits? I mean this whole…weird feeling. Like when I fall out of a tree but…bigger.
I looked around and realised that I was looking…down! At the ceiling! I clung to the floor for dear life and screwed both eyes shut. As usual my fervent attempts to escape reality were interrupted by a familiar voice.
Hey Mum! I’m swimming! I’m swimming!
I wasn’t hanging on the floor any more and Boris was…well you must have seen those film clips of the frog in zero gravity those guys took up in the space shuttle. Like that but slightly less amphibian.
You’d be amazed what zero gravity does to a butt that big. Normally it would spread out to cover whatever he was sitting on. Now it had a mind of its own and churned like a large thunder cloud filmed in time lapse.
The funnier part, however, was the way it pancaked with a loud plop! when the gravity came back again.
Urrrrrr. I think I need a transplant.
“Uh huh? Really? Well seeing as that’s not an option can I ask the funboys driving this heap to get you anything?”
Ice cream.
“Mmmpossible. What flavour?”
Doesn’t matter. It’s for my ass.
******************
………A few minutes later and the door whooshed open. How come the doors on our space shuttles don’t do that? They just sort of go uurp, as if the annoyingly robotic yet sensual female A.I. computer voice has belched after an impressive batch of chilli. If I ever get to speak to anyone at NASA I’ll have to bring it up. The whooshing is so much more professional.
It was numero uno with the nice pecs again. He motioned to both of us and then jerked his head toward the door. Confused, as was the norm by now, I just looked at him. He purred at me and then nodded toward the exit again.
I think he likes you.
“He watched me hoover my ass cheeks into and then out of a bucket. The latter part from a ringside seat with accompanying munchies.”
Well, yeah, but I don’t think he’d have done that if he didn’t like what he saw.
“Sitting around eating popcorn doesn’t mean he wants to wear my ass as a hat, it means he most likely went without a lot of important things as a child and gets kicks out of the misery of others.”
You have no sense of adventure or romance do you?
“You like him so much be my guest. With impressive muscles like that I’m sure you’ll find him all the man you could ever want.”
You think he has nice muscles?
“Shut up. I mean no. I mean shut up.”
Woohoo! You think he’s seeeeexy you want to smoooooch him you like his booooooody!
“As soon as I think of something suitably vicious to say in response to that I’ll let you know.”
Smug little fucker.
I turned and looked at the predator.
“Would you please do me a favour and eat him?”
The predator’s eyes widened in horror and his dreadlocks flew as he shook his head adamantly. He pointed at my big assed boy and uttered just one word.
GOD.
If there was anything worse than a smug cat it was a smug cat who’d just been deified. He trembled with ill contained delight.
I was never going to live this down.