Don't Worry, Shakespeare

[chapter four]
“Glad to Die for Love”


His body pressed mine against the wall in a passionate kiss. Cam’s fingers ran through my hair as he gripped either side of my head lovingly. He stared deeply into my hazel eyes. I was fixated on that color somewhere between green and blue in his. One of his hands slid gently down to the back of my neck and pulled me forward to embrace him tighter. It was as if he thought letting me go would mean that I slipped away into nothing. I laid my head comfortingly on his chest and began to breathe deeply. Cam always makes me feel so safe. All I could do was let out my emotions of the night. It felt so good to be held for a change.

I looked up at the man I loved and took in a breath to say something. He pressed his thumb to my lips.
“Shhhhhh…”

He kissed me again, this time with fire. His tongue was exploring corner of my mouth. I pressed into him, clutching his shirt tightly in each fist. He wrapped his arms around me even tighter and started to walk the two of us over to the bed. Campbell laid me down softly, a hand on either side of my head. He kissed down my neck and across my collarbone then to the laces where my corset was tied up. His fingers began to unbind me and then moved to his own shirt. He flung it across the room along with the corset that was now loose enough to come off. His breathing was heavy and hot on my skin, yet it made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. He grabbed the hem of my dress and lifted it over my head. I lay before him, half naked and completely willing. He dipped down on top of me again to go into another kiss, both of his hands caressing my breasts. I placed my hands on his chest, running my fingers over his muscle. Cam was a pretty built guy. Without breaking from the kiss, his hand trailed down my stomach and under my last article of clothing. He stroked me tenderly and I moaned slightly against his lips.

Cam wrapped his arms under my shoulders and pulled me up in an embrace, the two of us now kneeling on the bed. I traced his muscle with my hands until I found the button to his pants. Having been trained in this many times, they were undone with one hand in a matter of seconds. I broke the kiss. It was my turn to plant kisses down his body to the hem of his pants. His hands ran through my hair. Not tangled, not gripping, but just sliding through my hair as if he truly enjoyed the feel. I know he does. I looked up at his face, pulling down his trousers and undergarments at the same time. He soon was free of them. He caught me in another kiss and decided it was enough kneeling, laying me down gently on the bed once more. Campbell hooked his fingers in my bloomers and slid them off onto the floor. In the stillness of the night and the darkness of the room, we were naked before each other. Nothing to hide. Everything to gain.

Rain pattered endlessly against the window as he slowly entered me. I took in a sharp breath. Last night still pained me. Cautiously, he began to move in and out. There was something so raw about Campbell that always turned me on. It’s like he’s always true at any given moment, just like right now. He could have caught himself, truly being struck by the fact that his girlfriend is a paid lover and taken advantage of that fact. He could have chosen to carelessly fuck me. But he didn’t. He wasn’t. And something told me he never would.

One motion caught me as being particularly painful and a small yelp escaped my mouth. He stopped it with a kiss. I clawed my fingers down his back as Cam began to speed up. Pleasure mixed with pain and yelps turned into moans. I could feel my blood rising. I could taste the sweat on his lip. The bed began to move against the wall and I ground my hips hard against his. A growl grew in Cam’s throat. I was now taking in ragged shallow breaths, unable to hold it in any longer. In a moment’s instant, I arched my back and nearly screamed, giving in to my body’s demands. Campbell came inside of me, collapsing on top of my naked form. His breathing was rapid, matching in sync with mine. He withdrew himself carefully, ensuring I wouldn’t be hurt further. He lay on his back next to me and I rolled over, nuzzling up to him.

“I love you,” I whispered. He looked at me caringly and kissed me sweetly.

“I love you too,” He said against my lips. “I love you so much.”

Cam pulled up the quilt from his bed and I slipped inside. He joined me, smoothly wrapping me up in his arms. With my head nestled on that spot between his shoulder and his chest I had a thought. I’ve never really seen him get angry. I’ve seen him frustrated and I’ve definitely seen him upset, but I have never seen Campbell flat out mad. He could kill a man. He would in an instant too, if it meant saving me. And yet this thought didn’t worry me. Not even close. It made me feel safer. I fell asleep in the arms of the man I love with him stroking my back. Damn Harold and his rules. We’d gladly die for love. I just don’t want to test it.

White. The sky is white. White with clouds quickly turning gray and threatening to pour down. I could see it between the leaves. I looked out across the field that I was sitting in the middle of. No trees except mine. No people except me. No noises at all. I sat peacefully in the tall grass, watching it ripple in the wind on the rolling hills for miles around me. Two dull suitcases lay packed and ready to go at my left. I looked down, tracing new patterns in the white lace on my gray travel dress. Anxious. So anxious. Where were they? It’s going to rain soon. I can’t be here when it does. I placed a small gloved hand on my eyebrow and peered out over the empty field. The light was fading. But I’m waiting. I have to wait. There’s no other option. “Abandoned,” I said clearly. The word had no meaning. It meant nothing to me. “Abandoned,” I said again, monotonously. My face was blank. My mood was blank. The word echoed strangely in my surroundings. “Abandon.” A tingling sensation came over my hand. I lifted it up to look at it, curious to the numbing sensation taking effect. “Abandonable,” I whispered to my fingers, mere inches from my eyelashes. My whisper echoed across the field. Gray. It’s all so gray.

“Aba – ” My eyes sprung open. I stopped myself from saying the rest of it. My hand was pulled up in front of my eyes between my face and Cam’s. His blue eyes peered at me from between my fingers.

“Abandoned?” He asked, confused. I felt foolish.

“Apparently,” I blinked. “It was just a dream.” I smiled sweetly. “But my hand fell asleep and I need to turn over.” I grinned wider. “Tickle my back?”

“Anything,” he admitted. I turned on my right side to face the rest of his room. Cam’s fingers began to trace small circles and figure eights across my skin. Light was beginning to stream through the window. I closed my eyes to the soothing sensation.

“Don’t you have to work soon?” I murmured.

“Not today. For once.” I could almost feel him smiling at this.

“Why not?” I yawned, turning onto my stomach, exposing my bare back to the cool morning air.

“Day off. The old man gives me one of those every once in a while,” Cam trailed his fingers down to my lower back and came back up again. “He gave himself a day off too, if that counts for anything. No meals today. It’s been scheduled for a while. I thought that’s why you dropped by.”

“No!” I turned over one more time to face him. “I dropped by because I had to see you.” I smiled widely.

“So you didn’t have a customer?” He asked carefully, running his left hand through my hair.

“I uh…I did, actually,” I admitted. He knit his brow uncomfortably, but continued to stroke my hair. “But I couldn’t go through with it.”

“Oh?” He posed. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking. I leaned in close to his face and gave him a deep sweet kiss.

“You complicate things,” I whispered sultrily against his lips. He wrapped his arms tightly around my small form and I rolled on top of him. Cam’s hands stroked my back as I kissed him passionately. Suddenly, unexpectedly, he flipped me over to take over the more commanding role. With his arms pressing down on either side of my head, it was too hard pretending that it didn’t turn me on. He grinned a sly little grin and looked deep into my eyes.

“Let’s run away,” Cam gruffly breathed.

“What?” I laughed, placing my hands on each side of his face.

“Let’s leave!” He seemed genuinely excited by this thought. I hesitated. As happy as that would make me, it just felt too good to be true.

“Cam…”

“No, really!” He insisted and sat up on the bed. I stared intently at his shoulder blades. “Shantay, I’ve been thinking.”

“Did it hurt?” I teased. He whipped around and tickled me some, enjoying the sight of my squirming naked body. Campbell then pulled me up next to him and I sat on his lap, straddling his waist.

“I’m serious,” he answered. “I’m not exactly helping your job.” I didn’t pretend to tell him it wasn’t true. If he wanted a serious moment, I was going to give it to him. “And you always talk about how this is all you’ve ever known other than the streets. You want to get out and see things! And I can take you there! You’d never have to see the Moulin Rouge again…”

I thought for a moment. Leaving with Campbell would mean everything. Happiness, security, and most of all, love. But the Moulin Rouge was my life! I couldn’t just pick up and leave. Not after I’d worked so hard to get to my position. I know who I am inside the windmill. I don’t know how I would be seen beyond it…
What was I thinking?!

I snapped back into reality and a huge smile spread across my face. He had the same reaction.

“Of course I’ll leave with you!” I threw my arms around his neck. Cam embraced me around the middle.

“Shantay, I love you,” he stared up at me lovingly. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you…”

Seeing where the conversation was going, I cut him off. “Let’s just start with right now.” I kissed him deeply and pushed his shoulders down to the bed. I worked my hands around his ever increasing erection and slowly sat myself on top. Campbell groped my thighs as I began to move up and down on my knees. As I moved faster, he gripped tighter and was soon thrusting back against my bucking. I could feel my breasts bouncing in the morning air. I rubbed my hands all over my body and pinched my nipple hard before moving on to my clit. I toyed with it delicately at first, enjoying the sensation of penetration combined with stroking, but when Campbell began to growl all I could do was arch my back and let myself go.

“Don’t quit now, baby,” he quickly tackled me and took the more commanding position again. Cam cupped the front of my pelvis as he continued to thrust in and out. He jabbed two of his fingers at my pressure point and roughly rubbed in circles as I laid on the bed, completely helpless to my own body’s desires. I came, but he didn’t stop. Faster and faster, rougher and rougher, he moved in all the ways that he should. I came again, screaming this time at the violence of my convulsions, but Campbell just wasn’t done with me. We were rocking the bed again, but he went deeper still. I put my hand at the back of his head and clutched his hair in a fist. My other hand gripped the sheets tightly as my breathing became faster and shallower. I was moaning with each thrust now, incapable of taking over my body’s senses. That same growl grew in Cam’s throat at the same time that my body began to shudder and he stopped my growing scream with a kiss. He came deep inside of me just as I let myself go a final time, the violent orgasm shaking my body.

Cam bit down on my lip before breaking the kiss. His hot breath mixed with mine, and he slowly pulled out of my body. He grinned and laughed once before giving me another quick kiss.

“You made a mess,” he murmured while using his clean hand to place on my cheek and rub his thumb back and forth.

“You helped,” I smirked and lightly grabbed the arm that was caressing my face. I kissed him once more and stared deeply into his eyes before rolling out of bed and wrapping up in his sheet.

“What now?” he asked, sitting up. “Can you make it back to your room without being caught?”

“Are you kidding me?” I laughed, gathering up my clothing in a bundle. “Girls run around like this all the time. You just don’t know it because you’re always working.” I smiled sweetly and set my stuff down on his table. “Besides,” I grinned sultrily and walked back over to him, “getting caught doesn’t really matter if we’re leaving today, now does it?” I bent down and gave him one last deep kiss, purposely exposing the top half of my body. He ran his fingers through my hair one more time before I stood back up. My eyes glanced at the wet spot on Cam’s bed and all I could do was laugh. I turned around to walk away when Campbell grabbed my upper arm.

“Who said I was done with you?” He playfully wrapped his arms around my waist and shuffled to the door with me.

“I did. Because I need to bathe. Because we’re leaving today,” I laughed, struggling to open the door. “Besides,” I turned around in his arms, forcefully pressed to his body, “you’ve already pleased me four times this morning, as your bed would show, so I think you’ve had your fair share for now.” I kissed his collarbone, unable to reach his lips, and left a small bruise. “I’ll be back when I’m ready.”

Cam kissed the top of my head and then opened the door for me. I picked up the bundle from his table and walked quietly down the hallway into the big hall. As long as no one had seen that I came out of the kitchen, no one would know that it was Campbell’s bed I’d slept in last night. Sure enough, I passed another girl making it back to the Cancan Dancers’ hall clutching her bed sheet tight with one hand and her clothes with the other.

“Busy night?” She asked me from the second story.

“And morning,” I laughed back at her.

“I hear you,” She rolled her eyes and kept up her brisk pace back to her room.

I casually dropped off the bundle of clothes in my room and made my way down to the bathing room. It was bustling like a beehive. There wasn’t an active line for the tubs, but there was definitely a lot of lounging around and swapping stories. This is where the girls unwind. A steamy room full of other dancers with similar experiences. It’s the only entertainment we got sometimes.

“Good morning, ladies!” I chimed upon walking across the tiled floor, still clutching the bed sheet to my body. Many mixed greetings met my ears, but they were greetings nonetheless. I dropped Cam’s bed sheet on a bench and exchanged it for a towel to wait my turn for a wash. We were royalty. Poor women don’t bathe every day like we do. I seated myself along the wall waiting for a tub to open up. I had been waiting for a grand total of thirty seconds before someone started to chat my ear off.

“Hey, Angevin!” the girl excitedly spoke. She was my age, but I couldn’t help but think how much I exceeded her in mentality. “How’d last night go for you? As good as it went for me, I hope! Let me tell you something about those circus performers….they certainly are limber!”

Oh God, I didn’t want to know.

“Last night was good,” I grinned malevolently, “but this morning was better.” I laughed a little more as the girl looked at me in awe. She’d never kept a customer for the night.

“Not me,” the girl on the other side of Chatty Cathy spoke up. “I swear to God, he was trying to convince himself he wasn’t gay by having sex with me. I couldn’t get it up for anything.”

Thankfully, the two of them started up their own conversations as I was left with my own thoughts. I was leaving. Leaving with Campbell, the man I love. I never thought that I would be that girl. I never even suspected that I might some day run away from the Moulin Rouge and be happy about it. As the girl that occupied a tub began to dry off, I slipped in, soothed by the warm water. I didn’t even notice Juliette in the other tub, half a foot to my left, until she spoke in a low tone so as the other girls wouldn’t understand us midst all the chatter.

“How was Campbell?” She asked lowly. All I could do was smile. No words could describe last night and this morning. Except maybe sore. My day old bruises were still causing me grief.

“What makes you think we slept together?” I sultrily questioned.

“Because for the first time since I met you in training, you walked through that door with a grin on your face. You can’t honestly try to tell me that a customer did that to you.”

I suppose I couldn’t hide it. I didn’t need to. Juliette was my best friend. I turned my head to look in her eyes and smiled without showing any teeth.

“That good, huh?” She laughed a little.

I turned back to my tub and began to lather my shoulders. “Four times,”

“Shantay!” She grinned at me with wide eyes. “You little slut!”

“This morning.” I finished the sentence. Juliette shook her head with her mouth wide open. My eyes were intently fixed on the place where I was lathering my leg. All I could think about was Cam’s commanding motions. “Don’t quit now, Baby” still rang in my head. I have never been a slave to my own body. Never have I once been pleasured by a man without any effort on my part. He loves me. He really does.

“Well,” Juliette groaned while stepping out of the tub, “take it easy today, or tonight’s customer might cause you some grief.” With that, she wrapped in a towel and walked out the door to get ready for the evening. I silently finished up my bath, being sure to wash even in delicate places. I once again left my hair out of the water, simply feeling the need to get it ready again soon.

I carefully stood up and wrapped a towel around my body. With the bundle of bed sheets in my free hand, I gently padded out of the wash room. Once back in my own room, I pulled out a navy blue dress and laid it on my bed. Its small gold buttons gleamed in the midmorning light streaming through my window. The fabric was quilted with small gold threads in the pattern of plants. My favorite dress. I pulled on all of the necessary undergarments and then slid the dress over my head. The mirror reflected my crisp image as I buttoned each little golden bead. Cream colored lace wrapped from the bottom of my collar bone all the way down to my lower back, crisscrossing at my waist before being pinned at each side. A little cap of the same cream lace covered each shoulder. I pulled my hair down out of its knot and retied it in something somewhat more interesting. Last night’s performance boots were still sitting on my floor, so I immediately buttoned them around my feet as well. My eyes scanned the room.

“Should I pack anything?”

Deciding against it, I simply walked out my door and down to the kitchen, making polite conversation with various girls along the way. No one knew that I was leaving. When I finally walked into Cam’s room, he was sitting on his bed, dressed and ready to leave. He didn’t have any bags either. Campbell smiled and stood up, walking over to me. He placed a hand on the back of my elbow and placed a sweet little kiss on my lips.

“You look beautiful.”

“You always think I look beautiful,” I grinned. He shrugged and kissed me one more time before offering his arm. I took it, not having a care in the world. We walked unnoticed through the kitchen exit and down the street toward whatever life awaited us, smiling all the way. Today is a good day.