Sins

“I’m afraid to ask what you think,” Leia admitted.

The counselor sat in contemplation, seemingly stunned into silence by Leia’s account of what had happened between her and her daughter. Finally, she said; “She actually… urinated in front of you?”

Leia nodded solemnly. “Yes, on her old changing mat from when she was an infant.”

“And you… spanked her?”

“Yes. Repeatedly, until she cried and her skin was raw.”

The Twi’Lek arched her eyebrows and made some brief notes on her pad. “Just making sure I understand everything correctly… It seems that she experienced a desire to regress to an earlier form of development. Such fantasies regarding infantilism are not unheard of on certain planets… I’ve even heard some accounts from humans, although it is very rare. Never first-hand, I hasten to add.”

“I went along with it… again!” Leia cursed herself.

The counselor looked Princess Leia up and down. She was a proud woman who carried herself with dignity and grace. She looked resplendent in an elegant white dress – white being the traditional color of the Princess’s late home world Alderaan – with a raised collar decorated with an intricate swirling pattern. A priceless silver necklace hung tightly around her neck. Clearly, she had made an effort to appear as regal and noble as possible, presumably in an effort to offset the feeling of insecurity she now clearly exhibited. It was well known that the woman had largely forsaken the political arena to become her husband’s co-pilot and belatedly embark on her Jedi training, but she now appeared to fully embrace her former role – or at least was playing up to her public perception. By emphasising her status she could at least feel some semblance of control and self-worth in light of having confessed her shocking actions. “Why do you think you did that?” the counselor asked, softly.

Leia's shoulders dropped. “I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. “You’re the therapist. Why do you think I did it?”

A faint smile played across the counselor’s lips. “That’s not how I work, Princess. I hope to empower my patients to discover those things for themselves. You must look for solutions from within. What do your feelings tell you?”

“Now you’re beginning to sound like a Jedi Master,” she observed.

“If the approach works…” she began, before adding, “perhaps you should have gone to them. Your brother…?”

Leia simply glared at her. “Perhaps not,” the counselor conceded. Leia returned her gaze to the window. This room reminded her of the medical center on Coruscant where the twins had been born. The thought now made her shudder. She closed her eyes and saw Jaina’s face looking up at her. “I’m an evil person,” she said. “I’m not fit to be a mother. I’m certainly not fit to be a Jedi.”

“Neither, it seems, was your father but they still let him into the Order.” Leia bristled slightly. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Luke and Leia’s lineage was well known to the public. Thankfully they had mostly agreed that the children of Darth Vader should not be made to answer for the sins of their father. “I am his daughter,” she said after a moment.

“I’m sorry?”

“Vader,” Leia clarified. “I am the daughter of one of the most evil men who ever lived. I’ve tried so hard all these years to avoid being anything like him that I failed to see that I was… After everything that’s happened – the war… losing Anakin… – I could feel the dark side flowing through me. I looked at Jaina, and all I wanted to do was punish her… punish her for bringing this upon us, and corrupting our family. When she challenged me, that was the final straw…”

“You hold her responsible for ‘corrupting’ Jacen? Because it was she who started the incident on board the Falcon?”

Leia nodded. “Yes.”

“Your anger is misplaced,” the Twi’Lek was quick to say. “What happened between the three of you was symptomatic of a much larger problem. Jaina wasn’t the only one who acted that day – yourself and Jacen were both party to the…” she searched for the right word. “Orgy?” Leia suggested flatly. “If you wish. You cannot take out your anger solely on your daughter. You yourself must take responsibility.”

“Believe me, I do!” Leia railed.

“No. You accept that what happened was wrong, but you do not accept that you were acting of your own free will. Subconsciously, you believe that Jaina in some way corrupted you, made you weak, and forced you to take part in the sexual activity. You both attempted to deal with the situation: In fact, it was she who came to you first. But you only wanted her to abide by your ruling that it was all her fault – you were unwilling to listen to the possibility that perhaps it was you who were also at fault. When she failed to bow down and accept that, you were quick to become aggressive –”

“I became aggressive?!” Leia protested.

“Yes! Your failure to take at least some of the blame provoked Jaina to the point where a physical conflict broke out. The realization that she had truly become at war with her own mother likely exacerbated her feelings of despair.”

“Despair?” Leia asked, her tone softening.

“Yes. She’s hurting, Leia - she lost her brother, her father became distant and withdrawn after the deaths of his best friend and his son, her surviving brother has disappeared, and now you, her mother, with whom she has always had a tempestuous relationship to say the least has shut her out. The psychological traumas sustained in the war were almost enough to push the young woman over the edge – and I suspect you often forget just how young she still is – and her mind has been in a fragile state for a long time. The incident on the Falcon was her way of crying out to you, and Jacen. When the opportunity presented itself she was unable to refrain from expressing her deepest desires to be close to her brother again, and to you – in a way that she never really has been.”

Leia felt as if she had been run through with a lightsaber, knowing the woman’s words to be true. “And when we tried to deal with it…”

“Things got out of hand very quickly. Jaina’s mind snapped. Her conflict with you was the catalyst for a mental collapse. She wanted to express her desire to be a child again – innocent, free of pain and suffering, and being cared for by her mother. It manifested itself in an act of paraphilic infantilism… She’s a sick girl, Princess.”

“I’m a sick woman…”

“This isn’t all about you.” 

Leia had been looking at her feet, but now she looked up at her judge. “I know,” she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I just meant… I hit her… I beat her backside black and blue. I hurt her. I hurt her and I enjoyed it!”

“You needed to express your feelings toward her. You may love her, Leia, but I can see that you have a lot of deep-rooted resentment and anxiety toward each other. Punishing Jaina was your way of dealing with your pain – by hurting the one you held responsible.” 

Leia nodded solemnly. “There was more to it than that. Normal, well-adjusted people don’t behave in that way… I felt the dark side. We both did…”

A chill passed down the Twi-Lek woman’s spine. “Well,” she said, “that’s not something I would know about. You need to reconcile these feelings with your Jedi teachings and beliefs.”

Leia stood silently, desperately trying to maintain her composure. When she could hold it no longer, she let her shoulders drop and her tears fall. The counselor stood and moved to the window, where she placed a comforting arm around the princess, and held the legendary woman close as she sobbed.

* * * *

Jaina sat on her mother’s bed with her knees held tightly against her breasts, hugging the tops of her shins. Her mother sat next to her, stroking her hair. Leia noticed a tear run down her daughter’s cheek. Her heart ached for Jaina now. She felt as if she had let her down, betrayed her trust… failed her.

Some mother… she thought.

She could feel her pain, her suffering. But she also felt anger toward the girl. Young woman, she corrected herself yet again. For, despite everything that had just happened, Jaina had grown up. She would be okay. Leia had to believe that. “How are you feeling?” she asked.

Jaina gave a slight chuckle. “Like I’ve just woken up from some bizarre nightmare where I was possessed by…” she searched for a way to end the sentence but didn’t find one. “I don’t know what possessed me,” she admitted, her cheeks flushing with humiliation.

“We’ve been here before,” Leia said.

Jaina nodded.

“I need to get away for a while,” her mother continued, “figure things out.”

“Where will you go?” Jaina asked.

“I don’t know,” Leia admitted. Before she could continue, she heard the sound of the apartment’s front door opening and knew that her Han had returned for the evening. Without saying a word, she rose to her feet and, leaving Jaina on the bed, she entered the living room to greet her husband. Jaina could hear them talking. “Jaina’s in the bedroom. She’s sleeping,” her mother was saying.

"Jaina?” Han questioned. “So, you’re talking?”

“Yes we are,” Jaina heard Leia answer. Jaina laughed at the absurdity of the whole thing, and then suddenly began to sob. She closed her eyes, curled up on the bed, and thought of Jacen.

* * * *

Two Days Earlier 

Jaina felt like she was in the womb again as the warm water surrounded her body. All that was missing was the sound of her mother’s heartbeat. She listened to her own heartbeat thumping in her chest, echoing around the circular bathtub. She had previously been able to hold her breath for up to about three minutes with the aid of the Force, and was now testing her resolve once again, trying to beat her own record. The concentration required helped to take her mind off recent events, although she knew that her mother had been much more scarred by what had happened that she had been.

In a way, she didn’t regret what had occurred, but in the next instant she hated herself for feeling that way. Another heartbeat suddenly joined hers. It belonged to her brother, she knew. They had barely spoken since the incident on the Falcon, but she felt that it was perhaps the time to change that. She broke the surface of the water and ran her hands through her long hair to get rid of the excess water. With her eyes screwed tightly shut, she reached out and felt for her towel. She heard the refresher door slide open and Jacen entered. Without exchanging a word, he walked over and handed her the towel.

“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” she said as she wiped the water from her eyes.

“Haven’t you ever heard of locking?” he replied dryly.

“I didn’t think anyone would be here”, she said truthfully. “I was just about to get out and come talk to you. I think it’s time we did. Talk, I mean.”

Jacen nodded. “I agree.” He sat down on the closed toilet seat.

There was an awkward silence that lasted for what seemed like an eternity before Jaina spoke. “Well, this is great. It’s really good to get these feelings out in the open.”

He shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry. I don’t really know what to say.”

“Do you regret it?” Jaina asked bluntly.

Jacen blinked in surprise, and faltered before answering. “I don’t know.”

Jaina looked at him for a moment. “Neither do I,” she replied. “Do you want to do it again?”

“What?!” Jacen blinked again.

“It was a simple enough question,” she said mockingly. “Do you want. To do it. Again.” She paused for emphasis after each part of the question.

He blushed. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Because I’m hot?” she deadpanned.

“You’re also my sister.”

“That didn’t stop us before did it,” she said, stating the obvious. “You were pretty willing and eager as I recall…”

"Jaina,” he said, cutting her off. “That was a mistake.”

She pouted at him. “Really? Aw, that’s too bad.”

Jacen looked at her with interest, trying to figure out where she was coming from. “You don’t mean that.”

“Are you sure?” she challenged. “I just think that you, me and mom should…” Jaina smiled wickedly and lay back in the tub. “Ah yes, mom,” she said. ”What was that all about?”

Jacen shook his head. “Who knows? I don’t know what came over her.”

“You did,” Jaina said without missing a beat.

“That’s not funny,” he chastised her.

She laughed. “It was from my position!”

“What an interesting position it was”, he replied, unable to resist.

“There you go!” she exclaimed. “You haven’t lost your sense of humor.” His smile faded.

“What’s gotten into you, Jaina?”

“Well, you…”

“Stop it!” he said shortly, cutting off another innuendo. “What do you want from me?”

She held up her hands in defeat. “I’m sorry, I just don’t see why it has to be such a big deal, that’s all. So we had sex, so what?”

“Well, maybe that’s how they do it on Nal Hutta, but human beings don’t generally do it with their family members.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve met some of mom’s politician friends and you have to wonder…”

Jacen buried his face in his hands. Jaina sighed and gripped the rails on the side of the tub. He heard her ease herself out of the water, and looked up to see Jaina now standing up in the tub. His mouth hung open as he took in the sight, as it had done before.

“You see?” she said. “You can’t fight it, can you?”

He looked down again. Jaina stepped out of the tub and, still dripping wet, walked toward him. “Don’t…” he began, and then stopped as he realized that his pants were unzipping of their own accord and he felt as if his cock were being gently massaged. He realized that she was using the Force to pleasure him. Unable to speak, he gave in to the moment once again and allowed her to get onto her knees and physically remove his pants. Taking his cock in her right hand, she bent down and took it in her mouth. She alternated between sucking and gently pumping him with her hand, occasionally licking the length of his shaft.

“They don’t call me ‘Sticks’ for nothing,” she warned. He couldn’t believe this was happening again. Damn it, he had sworn he wouldn’t let this happen again. “Stop,” he commanded. She did so, and looked up at him. Jaina knew that he was about to put a stop to all this, but instead he did something that surprised her. He stood up and began to undress.

Now, it was Jaina’s turn to look shocked. She had been playing with him, teasing him wickedly to see how far she could push him, and now she feared that he was about to play her at her own game. Once he was completely naked, he motioned for his sister to stand up. Jaina’s knees were trembling, and she only just managed to stand up slowly. He reached out and touched her breast, gently caressing it and playing his hand over her nipple. His hand then moved further down her body until it reached the soft wet curls of her pubic hair. He walked his fingers in steps toward her clit, and then stopped. She looked at him with a pleading look to continue, and he smiled evilly.

“Hold on,” he said, and left the room. As she wondered what he was doing, he suddenly reappeared with her lightsaber. “Turn around,” he said simply. Jaina complied. He had screwed their mother from behind, and it now seemed that he was going to do the same to her. Was he going to use the ‘saber? He set the weapon down on the edge of the sink and ran his hands over her shoulders and down her back, eventually clasping her firm buttocks and kneading her ass. “Bend over,” he whispered. Jaina did as she was told, supporting her hands on the side of the bathtub. Jacen’s cock was throbbing now, and he stared at her inviting ass for a moment before asking her to bend a little further and stand with her feet slightly further apart. Jaina gulped, as she realized that she didn’t need the Force to know what he was about to do. He pushed himself up close to her, feeling the heat of her wet skin against his. She could feel his cock against her backside, as he had placed it up against her cheeks, in the cleft of her buttocks. She felt it slowly move down her crack, and her heart began to beat faster as it got closer… and closer. Jacen took a step back to admire her backside before taking the plunge. He pulled her cheeks apart, revealing her hole in all its glory, inviting him to enter her.

His cock hovered at her anus. “Have you ever done it like this before?” he whispered.

She shook her head quickly. “No,” she said nervously, her voice barely audible.

He smiled. “Good.” She felt the tip of his cock at her anus. The wait seemed to be agonizingly long, and then she gasped as he finally placed it inside. Jacen smiled again as he pushed deeper into her incredibly tight hole. She whimpered, somewhere between pleasure and pain, as he began to slowly move in and out of her. She was still soaking wet from her bath, and he was well lubed on his own, so he slid in fairly easily.

A part of her wanted to protest, to ask him to stop, but another part of her just couldn’t find the words. He gradually began to get faster as he pumped in and out of her repeatedly, with his hands on her hips. As he did so, she moved her right hand, using her left hand to steady herself, to her sex and furiously massaged her clit before inserting two fingers into herself. All the while, Jacen continued to pump his manhood into her hole. The room seemed to spin, and eventually, almost without warning, he reached for her lightsaber and, reaching around her, inserted it – handle-end of course – into her vagina. He kept pumping into her ass, while at the same time pumping her own lightsaber, her old, trusty lightsaber, into her vagina. Jaina came quickly, screaming, and Jacen pulled the weapon out of her before also pulling his cock out quickly as his own orgasm approached. Jaina gasped, quickly clenching her muscles, and it was all she could do not to follow through as he ejaculated over her backside. She collapsed to her knees, groaning and gasping for breath.

Without saying anything, Jacen cleaned himself up and got dressed. He walked toward the door, pausing only briefly to turn back and look at her, still on the floor, naked and wet. “I’m leaving,” he said. “I’m getting away from here. I’m need to sort through some things.” He spoke matter-of-factly, as if absolutely nothing had happened, then he sighed, and turned and left the room.

Jaina began to cry out in despair.

* * * *

Jaina opened her eyes and sighed as she wiped away her tears. She could still hear her parents talking in the next room. She wondered how her father would react were he to find out about everything that had happened in the past few days.

It was undoubtedly best not to know.

She dared not even tell her mother about what had happened between her and Jacen after their return home. If she were to know how far things had gone between them it would only make things worse.

* * * *

Leia sat on the couch, pondering the bizarre sequence of events that had led her here, and the new sensation she now felt.

A part of her found that she actually missed the feelings she had discovered with Jaina and Jacen. She had grown to miss those same feelings with Han, and in the twins, she had discovered something new… something that had fulfilled her. She wouldn’t dare admit that, even in a counseling session.

“Are you feeling better now?” the counselor asked.

Leia nodded, then paused before admitting; “Not really.”

The counselor gave her a sympathetic look. “So, what about Jacen?”

Leia turned her gaze to her. “What about Jacen?”

“You have unfinished business,” she said matter-of-factly.

Leia was silent for a moment. “Yes,” she said finally.

“So, find him. You can sense him, can’t you?”

Leia thought for a moment, and came to the conclusion that her therapist was correct. She needed to find her son, no matter what. She closed her eyes.

* * * *