Seven Sins
folder
zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] › Batman (All Movies)
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
2,060
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] › Batman (All Movies)
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
2,060
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Batman/Dark Knight franchise or characters ect and so forth and am not profiting from this story in any way.
Sloth and Gluttony
Sloth and Gluttony
It was just one of those days.
I didn't feel like having a party or a fundraiser.
I didn't feel like going out to a premiere or the theatre.
I didn't feel like doing yet another interview for those ass kissers down at the Gotham Gazette.
And I certainly didn't feel like running around the City dressed like a fucking reject from a low budget vampire film.
All I wanted to do was have a quiet night alone, pigging out on pizza and watching the game on tv...you know, normal stuff...but I guess, when you're one of the richest men in the world and Gotham's infamous masked vigilante, taking the day off isn't really an option.
Things were looking good until I decided to go out and pick up some ice cream...
x X x
It was just one of those nights.
You know the kind...almost unbearably hot and still, the sky darkening to indigo and orange, the moon full and high...fuckin' beautiful.
A perfect night for causin' mischief!
I wasn't planning anything stupendous - just a little bat-baiting to pass the time - but my caped buddy was nowhere to be seen! Strange considering his obsession with me...you've got to admit, he's got an immense clown complex. It wouldn't be so bad if he'd stop denying it and just accept his issues, like me...but I digress.
Anyway, I trashed a convenience store (it pained me to stoop to such pathetic lows but I really wasn't in the mood for blowing up hospitals and such) and shot a few of the cops who turned up to put me down - didn't kill any of the fuckers unfortunately - but my little escapade still failed to draw Batsy out of his cave.
At that point, I was pissed (in the sense of being very angry, frustrated and full of cheap vodka and gasoline) and ready to throw in the towel and go back to the rat hole that had been my home for the past week...when, amid the chaos and wreckage, in walked a bewildered but very special customer.
Billionaire pretty boy Bruce Wayne.
Fresh meat indeed...and I was a very hungry clown...
x X x
They stared at each other for an excruciatingly long moment, sleep filled blue eyes suddenly wide with shock as they met a pair of black ringed, red rimmed brown ones across the debris strewn room.
"Juh-Joker?" Bruce cursed himself as his voice broke and he stammered, the maniac grinning at his obvious discomfort.
"Enchanted to meet you Mr Wayne..." he replied as he curtseyed mockingly, "Shouldn't you be in an important meeting or counting your money in your castle?"
"It's my day off," Bruce heard himself answer as he desperately tried to figure out how he was going to get to the docks and return as the Dark Knight without arousing suspicion, "I came for some ice cream...to go with my pizza..."
Joker tutted and sauntered over, "Lazy and greedy! Well...I suppose you have people to do your work for you, hmm? And a personal trainer to keep you in shape...not like we commoners."
"I-well...what about you? Shouldn't you be back at the freakshow waxing the bearded lady's legs?"
Joker threw back his head and laughed, producing a knife from one of his many pockets, "And I thought my jokes were bad! Go on then - go get your fucking ice cream!"
Bruce stepped away, never taking his eyes away from the Joker. He didn't like the absentminded way the clown was waving that knife around, "Nah, I think I'll just go home...I think I've lost my appetite."
"Ah c'mon! Don't be like that Brucie - look!" he ran to a nearby freezer and began rummaging through the many assorted tubs of ice cream, rambling excitedly as he did so "I'll have one too! They've got chocolate chip, sorbet, mint, strawberry...oooh rasberry ripple!"
Bruce watched the Joker's childlike enthusiasm with a small, involuntary smile, "Cool...um...I think I'm gonna take off...have fun..." It was strange but, for once, he wasn't looking forward to having to beat the clown up and hand him over to Gordon...
Joker watched the other man's reflection as he continued to rifle through the freezer - nah, Wayne wasn't pretty...he was kind of attractive though...in a conventional way.
Edible even...
"Awww stop bein' such a party pooper Brucie...just wait'll Batsy turns up - you're gonna miss all the fun!" he waved a scoop of Neopolitan at the retreating millionaire, "Looook! De-licious! Mmmmm!"
"Some other time maybe..."
"Why not now?"
Bruce paused and, with a smile of uncertainty, cautiously took the proffered scoop.
x X x
A long, lazy morning in bed, the sheets stained with the exertions of the night before - sweat, saliva, semen and strawberry icecream...
Two bodies entwined, softly illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the window, sleepy and surrounded by empty tubs...
"De-licious!"
It was just one of those days.
I didn't feel like having a party or a fundraiser.
I didn't feel like going out to a premiere or the theatre.
I didn't feel like doing yet another interview for those ass kissers down at the Gotham Gazette.
And I certainly didn't feel like running around the City dressed like a fucking reject from a low budget vampire film.
All I wanted to do was have a quiet night alone, pigging out on pizza and watching the game on tv...you know, normal stuff...but I guess, when you're one of the richest men in the world and Gotham's infamous masked vigilante, taking the day off isn't really an option.
Things were looking good until I decided to go out and pick up some ice cream...
x X x
It was just one of those nights.
You know the kind...almost unbearably hot and still, the sky darkening to indigo and orange, the moon full and high...fuckin' beautiful.
A perfect night for causin' mischief!
I wasn't planning anything stupendous - just a little bat-baiting to pass the time - but my caped buddy was nowhere to be seen! Strange considering his obsession with me...you've got to admit, he's got an immense clown complex. It wouldn't be so bad if he'd stop denying it and just accept his issues, like me...but I digress.
Anyway, I trashed a convenience store (it pained me to stoop to such pathetic lows but I really wasn't in the mood for blowing up hospitals and such) and shot a few of the cops who turned up to put me down - didn't kill any of the fuckers unfortunately - but my little escapade still failed to draw Batsy out of his cave.
At that point, I was pissed (in the sense of being very angry, frustrated and full of cheap vodka and gasoline) and ready to throw in the towel and go back to the rat hole that had been my home for the past week...when, amid the chaos and wreckage, in walked a bewildered but very special customer.
Billionaire pretty boy Bruce Wayne.
Fresh meat indeed...and I was a very hungry clown...
x X x
They stared at each other for an excruciatingly long moment, sleep filled blue eyes suddenly wide with shock as they met a pair of black ringed, red rimmed brown ones across the debris strewn room.
"Juh-Joker?" Bruce cursed himself as his voice broke and he stammered, the maniac grinning at his obvious discomfort.
"Enchanted to meet you Mr Wayne..." he replied as he curtseyed mockingly, "Shouldn't you be in an important meeting or counting your money in your castle?"
"It's my day off," Bruce heard himself answer as he desperately tried to figure out how he was going to get to the docks and return as the Dark Knight without arousing suspicion, "I came for some ice cream...to go with my pizza..."
Joker tutted and sauntered over, "Lazy and greedy! Well...I suppose you have people to do your work for you, hmm? And a personal trainer to keep you in shape...not like we commoners."
"I-well...what about you? Shouldn't you be back at the freakshow waxing the bearded lady's legs?"
Joker threw back his head and laughed, producing a knife from one of his many pockets, "And I thought my jokes were bad! Go on then - go get your fucking ice cream!"
Bruce stepped away, never taking his eyes away from the Joker. He didn't like the absentminded way the clown was waving that knife around, "Nah, I think I'll just go home...I think I've lost my appetite."
"Ah c'mon! Don't be like that Brucie - look!" he ran to a nearby freezer and began rummaging through the many assorted tubs of ice cream, rambling excitedly as he did so "I'll have one too! They've got chocolate chip, sorbet, mint, strawberry...oooh rasberry ripple!"
Bruce watched the Joker's childlike enthusiasm with a small, involuntary smile, "Cool...um...I think I'm gonna take off...have fun..." It was strange but, for once, he wasn't looking forward to having to beat the clown up and hand him over to Gordon...
Joker watched the other man's reflection as he continued to rifle through the freezer - nah, Wayne wasn't pretty...he was kind of attractive though...in a conventional way.
Edible even...
"Awww stop bein' such a party pooper Brucie...just wait'll Batsy turns up - you're gonna miss all the fun!" he waved a scoop of Neopolitan at the retreating millionaire, "Looook! De-licious! Mmmmm!"
"Some other time maybe..."
"Why not now?"
Bruce paused and, with a smile of uncertainty, cautiously took the proffered scoop.
x X x
A long, lazy morning in bed, the sheets stained with the exertions of the night before - sweat, saliva, semen and strawberry icecream...
Two bodies entwined, softly illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the window, sleepy and surrounded by empty tubs...
"De-licious!"