Dreams of Darkness and Light

Notes: A prompt I wrote for FF100 that ended up being an epilogue of sorts for this fic, tying up some loose ends with Anna, and also the boys being cute and cuddly, which I can never resist. This is the only Dark City storyline where I've written Murdoch as the bottom, but it's so damn fun that I can't quite leave him alone. :D I enjoy top!Daniel as well, he seems somehow more calm and sure of himself than when I've written him as uke.
/author ramblings. Enjoy!

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Epilogue


The two men lay curled in bed together, one fair, one dark, bodies nude, sweat streaked and sated from morning's desire. Fingers stroked languidly, possessively over bare skin, as if to get reacquainted after so long an absence, or to convince themselves that the other was actually still there.

"Can't believe I could have ever forgotten how beautiful you are like this," Daniel murmured softly, and John gave a soft laugh, leaning in to kiss him warmly, hand sliding up his chest to caress his cheek.

"Still my silver tongued gentleman," he murmured, smiling. It was hard to believe that twenty four hours previous he had held no hope of this at all, of ever having Daniel back in his life. And now... now he couldn't think of any way that things could be more perfect.

In the other room, the phone rang. Daniel gave a little disappointed noise, moving to get out of bed. "I should get that..."

John tightened his arms around him possessively. "They'll call back if it's important"

The doctor quirked an eyebrow. "I don't get many phone calls, John. They all tend to be important."

His dark haired lover sighed, sitting up and running a hand through his tousled curls. "Fine, fine. You stay, I'll get it," he declared, climbing out of bed and disappearing.

Daniel watched him go, a little amused and more appreciative of the sight of his naked form disappearing out of the room. He wondered if John Murdoch made it a habit to answer the phone in his birthday suit. Then he climbed out of bed, shrugging into a long terrycloth bed jacket, pulling one of his button down shirts from the closet and following him.

"I'm sorry to have worried you," John was saying to the person on the other end of the phone, who Daniel assumed was Anna. "It got late, so I just slept here." He stood at the psychologist's desk, seemingly unconcerned about his nakedness, and Daniel couldn't help but remember the way that body had felt against his just a few moments ago. He wrapped the shirt around John's shoulders, more to try and distract himself than anything else.

John glanced back at him, giving him a warm smile and leaning into him a little, still talking on the phone. "No, no I should have called, I'm sorry. Did you enjoy the movie? Good." He was silent for a moment, reaching back with his free hand to stroke the side of Daniel's thigh affectionately, who could faintly hear Anna's voice on the other end. "9am? Of course, I'll remind him. No, I have everything I need here. Thank you. See you soon." He turned as he hung up the phone. "Appointment at 9am?"

Daniel glanced at the clock, which showed just shy of 8:30. "Oh hell..."

His lover smirked, slipping his arms up around his neck. "Stay in bed too late?"

"I believe that was your fault," the blonde replied, leaning down to indulge in a warm kiss, wondering how on earth could he want John again in such a short time.

John chuckled, low and throaty. "Was it now? Takes two to tango."

Daniel squeezed him gently, sharing in his good humor. "Go use my shower... I'll put the kettle on and shower after you're done."

"We could shower together to save time." Green eyes sparkled mischievously.

"You know very well that wouldn't save time at all," he retorted, pulling away, though a little regretfully. "Go, go."

John laughed, catching his hand and tugging him back into his apartment, in the direction of the bedroom. "I want to fix your leg first. Come lay down for me."

Daniel’s cheeks coloured a little, but he nodded, and squeezed his hand gently. "Thank you... you don't have to do this, John."

John climbed up onto the bed, giving him a playfully stern look and patting the down mattress beside him. "Come. Here."

Daniel stretched out on the bed beside, slipping an arm around John's shoulders as his lover curled into him, resting his head on his chest and tugging his robe open to stroke his thigh gently. He let his fingers trace over the thin white scars, stroking them gently, feeling Daniel shiver underneath him.

“Don’t do that,” the doctor breathed, and John fought down a wave of arousal, forcing his hand to sit still on his thigh.

"Sorry,” he murmured, closing his eyes and pulling his attention inwards. It wasn’t difficult to find the badly healed break, to smooth it back into place, and he curled close to Daniel when it was done, kissing him gently, slow and warm with just a touch of need.

Daniel gave a soft groan into his mouth, stroking a hand down his back. "Go shower," he murmured, voice a little husky, "Before we start up again and Anna walks in on this...."

John gave a soft chuckle, pulling away regretfully. "Save it for later, hm?"

Daniel nodded, his eyes dark. "Undoubtedly."

There was a large, fluffy towel set out for him when he got out of the shower. He dried himself off, coming out to an empty bedroom, the bed made, his clothes folded neatly on the armchair by the window. Daniel’s apartment was very comfortable, he decided. Classic and simple and just a little masculine. He liked it.

From the main room he could hear music, the sound of dishes, and poked his head out. Daniel was assembling a tea service, humming along softly to the record that spun on the turntable in the corner that John had neglected to notice the night before. “Opera?” John quizzed, and Daniel smiled.

"My third greatest passion,” he replied, nodding to the shelf of neatly catalogued vinyl next to the player. “The city is sadly lacking in selection, I’m afraid. They didn’t have much use for music. I think they only made a couple hundred records total, from people’s various memories, and then just copied them all many times over. But I’ve been slowly collecting these since they left.” He moved to him, slipping an arm around his towel-clad waist. “Do you... do you remember going to the opera with me?”

"Yes..." John sorted back through his dreams, mind shifting the pieces into place. “You... you kissed me. Was that our first...?”

Daniel’s smile widened, still crooked, but John found himself thinking it was adorable. “Yes. It was very... it was extremely improper of me. But it was always so hard to resist you.” He pressed his lips to his temple. “Do you need to borrow something to wear, love?”

John shook his head, Tuning himself some clothes with an absent thought, then leaning in to kiss him warmly. “I’m fine, thank you. Go get ready before Anna arrives.”

“Are you going to tell Anna?” He asked softly.

John hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Yes. I think... I think it could help her.”

His lover smiled, warm and pleased. “Yes... yes, I think it would.”

“I’ll take the tea out.” He did so, setting the service on Daniel’s desk and regarding it for a few moments before Tuning a bowl of fresh cut fruit and berries, along with a small pitcher of cream and bowls to the side. Trying to think of what else might go well with tea for breakfast, he produced a tray of hot buttered toast and a small pot of marmalade.

Anna arrived shortly afterwards, a bag on her arm that John knew contained her journal of dreams. “Here you are. I was worried about you when you didn't come home last night. If it hadn’t been for the letter being gone, I wouldn’t have even known if you’d been home at all....”

“The letter?”

“I brought it back from Daniel for you,” she replied, smiling. “He said he’d offended you and wanted to apologize. You worked things out?”

He paused, smiling, a warmth spreading through him at the memory of their night together. “Yes. He... helped a lot. We had a lot to talk about.”

“Oh?” Anna perched on the end of the couch, her usual spot, and though her question is light, he could tell that she was curious.

John sat down slowly, trying to figure out where to start. “I... I’ve been dreaming,” he said finally. “The kind of dreams you have. It wasn’t... it wasn’t something I expected,” he said, simply. “I’ve told you a little about them in the beginning... I did dream of you, and I still don’t know what that means. But there was so much more to it than that. And it was so... so strange to me that I couldn’t even begin to try and process it.”

Anna listened quietly, and nodded slightly. “I know how that can be....”

John gave her a soft smile. “I know, Anna. I know it’s been difficult for you.”

“You’ve never left me alone,” she said, softly. “Not until this past week. It scared me, John.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied, reaching out to take her hand. “I really am, Anna. I'll be here for you whenever you need, from now on.”

She squeezed it gently. “I think...” she started softly, trying to find the words. “I think you were... are... my step brother. Since we were little, you always took care of me. Just like you are now.”

He felt an overwhelming sense of relief that she’d come up with this explanation, an explanation that worked without touching too much on the darkness of what could have been if they'd continued their intimacy. “I think so too,” he said, softly. “I’m sorry, if I... if I ever behaved inappropriately....”

She shook her head. “Neither of us did anything wrong, John. It just matters that we’re here now, right? I... don’t want anyone by my side more than my big brother.”

John held his arms out to her wordlessly, and she slipped into them, resting her head on his shoulder. “It’s so good to see you smile again....” She stopped, suddenly. "What happened to your neck?"

It took a moment for John to realize what she was referring to, and he gave a sudden laugh, a hand reaching up sheepishly to cover the tender spots on his skin. "I'll get to that in a bit."

There was a soft knock on the door frame behind them, and Daniel cleared his throat, coming into the office, always the tidy figure in a simple dark vest and a mandarin collar dress shirt, which, John noted, very neatly covered up the incriminating evidence on his neck that he'd failed to take into account for himself when he created his clothes. Daniel stood straighter, taller, more composed and self-assured, and John wondered if it was the healing, or their night together that caused it. Maybe both. “I’m sorry I’m late, Anna....”

She pulled away from John, giving the doctor a soft smile. “It’s all right. I’m sure John kept you up all night.”

Daniel’s eyebrows quirked a little, eyes betraying his merriment at her words. “I think we were very... successful,” he managed to say calmly. “Would you like some tea? Or,” he added upon turning to the tray. “Some fruit or toast, it seems?”

“Tea... and fruit, please....” Anna watched him carefully, eyebrows knit as if she was trying to figure something out.

“Are you all right?” he asked, handing her the cup of tea, then offering her the fruit with cream.

Anna took them both, setting the fruit aside for the moment. “Did you do something... is your suit new? Something is different about you.”

He gave a soft chuckle, eyes sparkling. “Not a new suit, no. But don’t let me interrupt. Tea, John?”

“Please, “ he replied, forcing himself to stop thinking about the striking figure his lover cut, to turn his attention back to Anna. “Where were we?”

“Your dreams,” She prompted, and he nodded.

“Ah, right.” He wet his lips. “The events in my dreams... that I was remembering... I had a lover, like you remember having. And like yours... mine was a man.”

Anna became sympathetic immediately. “I’m sorry....”

“Don’t be,” he replied, shaking his head slowly, taking the cup and saucer from Daniel as he brought it over, letting his fingertips casually, yet deliberately, brush against his. “It took some time, but... in the end I decided it was more important to embrace that part of me, to try and rebuild what the Strangers took away. So I came to see Daniel last night....”

“Oh! Daniel – your eye!” Anna clamped her hand over her mouth as soon as she had said it, as if suddenly finding the declaration rude. “Oh god, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to, I just... how did you do it?”

“Tuning,” Daniel said, softly. He sat back in his chair, picking up his own teacup and taking a sip. “John can do anything he puts his mind to.”

“And your breathing too.... Oh, wow. Daniel, that’s amazing, I’m so happy. And thank you for helping him. Thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Daniel replied softly, tilting his head back toward John.

“I’m sorry,” Anna repeated, settling back on the couch. “John... what did you decide to do?”

“Well,” John started slowly. “I decided... to act on it. I realized that.... even if he didn't remember, I needed to trust what I remembered, trust that someone who knew me and cared for me then wouldn't hurt me, even if he didn't understand."

"Is that why you've been out of sorts all week?" she asked softly, and John nodded, a little guiltily.

"I didn't exactly... go about it the right way, at first. But..." he hesitated, glancing over at Daniel. "We sorted things out last night, my lover and I..."

Anna was watching him, and nodded slowly. "How did it go?"

John cleared his throat. "I... stayed the night with him."

"Oh. Oh!" Anna's eyes grew wide, finally cluing in to what he was saying, and her eyes darted over to Daniel, who sat calmly, saying nothing, and then back to John. "You... Daniel?!"

John nodded slowly, feeling a shiver of warmth flood through him, smiling. "Yes. Daniel and I."

She was silent for a moment, watching him, eyes conflicted as she took in the information. Then she looked up at him, a little anxious, her voice soft. "John... what's it like?"

It surprised him a little, how easily the answer came, how soft and reverent his voice was. "It's the most beautiful, natural thing in the world, Anna."

She gave a little shiver at his words, her voice cracking. "Really?"

He reached over to touch her hand, shifting to sit closer to her on the couch. "I wouldn't lie about that."

Anna looked down at his hand for a long time, silently, then over to Daniel, who seemed to be trying very hard not to appear anxious. "Doctor... why aren't you sitting with us?"

The blonde looked a little surprised, but smiled gratefully, standing and moving to claim the end of the couch that John had just vacated, fitting his body easily against the dark haired man, resting a hand gently on his bicep. John curled back into him ever so slightly, realizing how much he'd missed his touch, even in just that short time.

"I'm sorry, Anna," Daniel said, softly. "I don't mean to take him from you...."

She smiled, and shook her head. "John is... an older brother to me. You've both looked out for me so much. I would be stupid to want anything but your happiness." She watched them quietly for a few moments, a little wistful smile on her face. "You're right," she said finally. "It does seem... right, somehow." Her eyes lowered, voice growing softer as well. "I want something like that. I'm just... so afraid, John."

He laced his fingers with his, squeezing gently. "Sometimes you just have to take the plunge...."

Behind him, Daniel shook his head slowly. "I think," he started, slowly, "That it might be beneficial for us to meet Rachel. It is very difficult for individuals, when they are unable to see themselves or their own situation in others around them. That will be the most difficult thing for Rachel to overcome. It will be easier to know that there are others in the city - even if it is only two at the moment - who recognize and practise same sex attraction...."

Anna looked a little dubious. “Come out for dinner with my... my brother and his....”

“Lover?” John supplied softly, slipping his hand to lace his fingers with Daniel’s.

Anna gave a soft laugh. “Yes, I suppose so. Let’s do it. After all, it’s Daniel. How could she not adore him?”

She stayed a little longer, finishing breakfast with them, laughing as Daniel remarked on the miraculous new addition to his china service, even trying the marmalade. Then she excused herself, saying she had errands to run, telling John with a teasing wink that she wouldn’t wait up for him at home.

John saw her off, leaning back into Daniel as he came up behind him and slipped his arms around his waist, nuzzling his hair. "I think that went well."

Daniel kissed his ear softly. "Humans crave validation," he said softly. "Thinking that she alone bore the burden of her attraction, I think, has been one of the biggest barriers for her to overcome, in order to be who she wants to be. As much as you and I have accepted her unconditionally, we couldn't lift that burden from her without sharing it. This we can do now." He sounded rather pleased. "I'm glad that we can give her that."

John smiled, cuddling back into him, not realizing how much he'd missed the feeling of his embrace. "I'm glad you two get along."

"I am very fond of Anna." Daniel replied warmly. "It's interesting that she referred to you as an older brother...."

"Step...." John hesitated. "Well. She said this morning that she believes we were step siblings...."

He was sure Daniel must have picked up on the unease in his voice. "What do you think?"

John gave a soft sigh. "She... was in my file, before I... removed her. We... had the same father."

"Ah." Daniel's arms tightened around him slightly, reassuringly. "Yes... you both have the same eyes. It's good that the two of you... have been able to find that kind of relationship now."

"And that she was never really my wife?" John gave a very soft chuckle, trying to calm his nerves about it. "You're very tactful, love. It just... it feels like I should have realized..."

"You had nightmares," Daniel observed calmly. "Part of you did realize, and the situation was corrected. There's nothing more you could have done."

"Thank you," John replied softly, closing his eyes, his lover's words making him feel surprisingly calm, and he realized that he'd needed Daniel's counselling, needed the validation more than he'd thought.

"Help me tidy up breakfast?" Daniel asked lightly, and he nodded, pulling away to load up with dishes, following Daniel back to the kitchen, helping him wash them in comforting silence.

"You know," Daniel mused slowly, drying a teacup, "From our age... at least, from what I've been able to work out... I'm not sure we were together more than a year or two before this all happened...."

John gave him a curious smile. "Long enough to know we were right for each other?"

Daniel chuckled. "Of that I have no doubt. I was just trying to sort through the bits and pieces. I've had a very large number of different dreams about you, and most of them were... rather sexual. The rational part of me thinks that I must have made some of it up...." A pause. "Either that or we... ah...." Daniel's stopped, the usual eloquence failing him.

"Fucked like rabbits?" John supplied with a little smirk, leaning over to kiss Daniel's reddening cheeks.

"That is one way to put it...."

John chuckled, pulling the plug in the sink and drying his hands. Then he concentrated, reaching his awareness out, back to his old apartment, sensing for the thin volume that was tucked underneath the mattress of his bed. Sensing the composition of the pages and ink, pulling it into being on Daniel's counter. He picked it up, handing it to him with a little smirk. "Knock yourself out, love."

Daniel gave him a little questioning smile, opening the book, glancing through the pages. "Your dreams? I didn't know you were writing them down...."

"In a round about way," John replied, heading nonchalantly back toward Daniel's bedroom.

The doctor followed, the majority of his attention on the book, reading. "... this is very... detailed."

John settled cross legged on the mattress, leaning back against the pillows. "I cheated a little," he admitted. "I found it was quicker, and... ah, easier emotionally... just to let my mind create it without actually thinking about it." He stopped, trying to explain. "Like putting my Tuning on auto pilot. My mind knew what it wanted to have written in the book, I didn't actually have to consciously try to remember everything."

Daniel nodded slowly, glancing around them. "... we're back in the bedroom."

"It's comfortable," John replied innocently, and patted the bed beside him. "Come sit. We can see if there's anything we mutually remember."

Daniel settled beside him, reading, and though his expression leaned more toward clinical fascination, John could see the tips of his ears slowly turning red. He smiled, resting his head on Daniel's shoulder, eyes scanning the page.

Daniel gave a slight cough, almost sounding surprised. "Have you... actually read this?"

"Only a little," John admitted. "Quite honestly, I've spent the past several weeks alternating between trying to forget it all, and wishing that it were real. I usually didn't read them again, once I'd dreamed them."

"The amount of detail is fascinating," Daniel murmured, turning the page. "It's amazing that your subconscious recorded things so exactly, and was able to communicate it so clearly like this...." He drew back a little from the book suddenly, blinking. "... I remember this."

John scanned the page, found himself smiling, his voice warm. "Phone sex?"

Daniel nodded slowly, eyes darting over the words, his lips parting slightly. "There was... some kind of... telephone receiver that... hooked over my ear and had no wires...." his tongue darted out to wet his lips. "You were... very cheeky."

John smiled, nuzzling Daniel's neck lightly, dropping soft kisses. "You liked it when I talked dirty...." he murmured, words coming out a little huskier than intended, and he felt Daniel shiver against him.

"It seems... you very much enjoyed it too," he replied softly, turning the page. "You realize love, that this book is going to torture me horribly...."

He pressed a warm kiss just under Daniel's jaw. "Why?"

"Professionally... this is like gold," he murmured. "But it seems it will prove impossible for me to study it without quickly becoming very... distracted."

John smiled, stroking a hand over his chest, fingers finding the buttons of his vest, undoing them. He nipped Daniel's earlobe gently, softly, "Then maybe you'll have to change tactics... fuck me first, then study the book...."

Daniel set the volume aside wordlessly, turning to capture his mouth with his own with a sudden desperate hunger that made John gasp, sent a rush of arousal through him. "I think you still like it," John breathed against his mouth, arching up into Daniel's touch, fingers finding the buttons of his shirt, tugging them undone. "Hearing me say that I want you inside me...."

Daniel gave a soft hiss against his mouth, voice low and husky. "Just like old times, love...."

John stretched out on the bed, letting Daniel press him back against the pillows, yielding to the delicious hunger of his kisses, the doctor's fingers quickly working the buttons of his shirt undone. Kissing down his neck, sucking and nipping gently at his skin. His fingers tangled in Daniel's hair, urging his hunger, urging more. "Mmm, god yes...."

Daniel nipped at his collarbone lightly, breath coming in a soft groan at John's whimper of pleasure. "I don't think I made any of those memories up," he breathed, kissing down to suckle a nipple, tease it with his teeth. "I think we really just had a lot of sex...."

John laughed, warm and breathless, hooking one leg around Daniel's waist, grinding his hips up against him a little. "Mmm, love... I'm sure that's the truth."


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Thanks for reading! Comments are love, if you enjoyed (or if you want to tell me you hate it....)