Hanging On

All previous disclaimers apply.

“Good game,” Chad sighed as he collapsed bodily on the soft grass next to Troy’s basketball court. He grabbed his water bottle, taking a deep pull of the water before splashing some on his overheated face.

“For me maybe,” Troy laughed as he threw himself next to Chad on the ground and took the water bottle from his outstretched hand, “Totally whooped your ass.”

“Yeah yeah,” Chad muttered, throwing his arm over his eyes to block the sun from his vision, “You cheat.”

“Moi?” Troy dumped the remaining contents of the water bottle on Chad’s chest, thoroughly soaking his t-shirt. His brows knit when Chad made a sound of displeasure from the back of his throat, but otherwise didn’t move, “Hey, man, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Chad took his arm from his eyes and looked over at Troy, “Just thinking.”

“Thinking?” Troy attempted to lighten the heavy mood he could sense approaching in Chad’s tone, “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Naw, Troy, I’m trying to be serious here,” Chad looked at him pointedly.

“Okay, I get it. Sorry,” Troy turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow, “So what’s on your mind, pal?”

Chad looked back up at the sky, trying to draw pictures in the clouds as he put his thoughts together into the words he wanted to say, “Did you ever think we would end up here, Troy? Like this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…all our lives we planned to go to U of A together. You know, be Redhawks, play ball. It was all we ever wanted. And now, all of the sudden, a year and a half has changed so much. Look at us, Troy, we graduate tomorrow. Neither of us are going to U of A. You’re going to California, following a girl.”

“Hey!” Troy’s voice was defensive, “Gabriella’s more than just a girl and I’m not going to Berkley just because it’s closer to her, you know. Berkley has the better drama program and still has a good basketball team.”

“I know Gabriella’s more than just a girl, Hoops,” Chad sighed, “She’s really great and you love her and I’m happy for you. But, that’s what I’m talking about. Did you ever, in your wildest dreams, imagine that you would be choosing a college because it had the better drama program?”

“Guess not,” Troy rolled onto his back and looked up to the clouds as well, “But…I…I’m happy, man. More than I thought I could be. Everything’s cool and it just kind of fits, you know? It’s different than I thought it would be, but better. God, that sounds lame.”

“Not really,” Chad snorted, “I mean, I’m right there with you. A year and a half ago I knew exactly what I wanted. I was gonna go to U of A with you, hopefully make the NBA someday, marry some girl, have a family. Now, look at me, man. I’m heading to Colorado to be with the guy I love. Setting aside that fact or a sec, I have no idea what I’m gonna do with my life yet, just that I’m not good enough to be in the NBA. College ball’s gonna be fun, but I know that that’s as far as I’ll go. And you know what? I’m cool with that. For the first time in my life I’m cool with not knowing what I want to do. All I know that I want to do right now is be with Ryan. He’s like, become the center of everything, you know?”

Chad turned to Troy and winced at the look on Troy’s face. His best friend had been awfully supportive of him in the past months, but it couldn’t be comfortable to hear things like this from a best friend you had presumed heterosexual, like yourself, most of your life.

“Sorry, man. Overshare?”

“No, man,” Troy continued to look at the clouds, “Not really. I’m cool with you and Ryan. You know that. I was just thinking about how pathetic we both sound. We sound like a couple of love sick idiots.”

“Hate to break it to you, Troy, but we are a couple of love sick idiots.”

“Oh yeah,” Troy tried to shrug but it was hard when he was laying flat on his back, “So…you really don’t think you have what it takes for the NBA?”

“I’m good, but I’m not that good. I’ve come to terms with it. Tell you the truth, I’m kind of looking forward to being able to find out what else I’m good at, something else I might love, like your drama thing. What are you planning on doing?”

“I’m gonna work hard on ‘em both,” Troy gnawed his lower lip a little, “I still want to try for the NBA, see what I might be able to do, but the stage feels good, too. I guess I’m not really sure where it’s going either. I’m kinda cool with it, too.” He laughed a little, “Go figure, right?”

“Yeah, go figure.” Chad laughed, too.

“Chad?” Ryan’s voice suddenly pulled Chad out of his daydream of the conversation he’d had with Troy nearly three months before. It had been hard to see Troy off to California just a few days before. They’d tried to hide it, but neither of them had been able to deny the fact that their eyes were wet as they gave each other one last hug and promised to call, saying they’d see each other at Christmas at the very latest. But, who knew if they were ever going to see each other again? No matter what happened, no matter how much they told each other and themselves that they would stay in touch, who knew if they would actually do what they said? It would be hard and he wanted to believe that they would always be best friends, but he was also realistic.

Or maybe he was just being a little manic, a little depressed because today was the day he left his mama and his entire family in New Mexico while he headed off to the unknown. Granted it was only really a state away and he and Ryan could even come home for any weekend they wanted, but it was the first time that he would ever really be going away from home. He looked at the back of his truck loaded down with all of the things he would be taking to Denver with him, then looked at Ryan’s new SUV, loaded with his belongings. It had been a gift from his parents for graduation and at the moment Zeke was checking out all of the extras, ecstatic about driving it all the way to Colorado with Sharpay. They’d be following Chad and Ryan in his truck, then flying back. Their semester didn’t start until a week after Chad and Ryan’s and they were both more than happy to have the opportunity to spend the time together before school started. If their relationship could survive the six and a half hour non-stop drive to Denver than they could survive anything, he figured. He had no such worries about his and Ryan’s relationship.

He did, however, have his worries that their families were going to survive this day. He looked over at Darrick, holding Sage while he tried to get their sister and his wife to smile. He was failing miserably because every time either Carmen or Emily looked over at Chad’s truck they burst into tears again. Paul was trying, unsuccessfully, to get the kids out of Ryan’s SUV without actually having to drag them out. Chad shook his head and tried not to roll his eyes when he spotted his and Ryan’s mothers in each others arms crying their eyes out. Ryan’s dad was looking over the map he had highlighted for them for what had to be the hundredth time, but Chad could see, when Mr. Evans looked down, that he was fighting as hard as the rest of them to keep a hold of his emotions. God…Chad rolled his eyes to force the hot tears that came into them back. This was not going to happen. He was going to keep control of himself.

“Chad, you okay?” Ryan asked quietly, taking Chad’s hand as he stepped up next to him.

“Yeah,” Chad attempted a small smile as he looked over at Ryan, “Just thinking.”

“About Troy? Don’t worry, love. You’ll stay in touch.”

Chad turned a little, leaning his hip against his truck before hooking two fingers in the belt loops of Ryan’s skinny jeans and pulling him closer. Ryan smiled and came in so that the only contact between them was Chad’s fingers through his belt loops, but they were close enough that if either of them leaned in toward the other in the slightest their bodies would align and their lips would touch. As it was, Chad didn’t need to be any closer to Ryan to feel the electric current that ran between them even now. He smiled at Ryan, a true smile, and marveled at just how well Ryan knew him.

“Thanks, babe,” Chad murmured.

“ ‘Course,” Ryan leaned forward and took Chad’s lips in a gentle, chaste kiss. They broke it off with twin sighs when they heard the camera shutter and turned to see Jackson pointing the lens of the camera he had gotten for his birthday at them. He hadn’t put it down for days and the constant flashes at intimate moments were starting to grate a little. Jackson just laughed when Chad made a playful lunge at him and danced away. To annoy someone else, they were sure.

“We better get this over with,” Ryan sighed, “Or we’ll never get out of here in time to make it tonight.

“You’re right,” Chad agreed, “I’ll take your family first. You take mine, then we’ll switch?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

An hour later they were finally on the highway. It was too late to turn back, anything they’d forgotten would have to be shipped, and the walkie talkies that kept them in touch with Zeke and Sharpay in the car behind them had lost their novelty. They hadn’t spoken for nearly forty minutes, but their silence was comfortable as Ryan looked out the window. Chad kept his eyes on the road and thought about his family.

“Take care of yourself,” Darrick and Paul had told him.

“Take care of Ryan,” Emily and Carmen had said.

“Take care of each other,” his mother had stressed gently as she held him close, “I miss you already, baby. The house is going to feel so empty now.”

“Come on, Mama,” he’d tried to laugh, but had been barely able to whisper, “Ryan and I’ll be home so much you’ll forget we ever left.”

“Counting on it,” She’d been strong for him and had done her best to keep the tears at a minimum, “I love you so much, Chad.”

“I love you, too, Mama. Now and forever, you’re my best girl.” He’d hugged her closer. Had she always been so small? Had he always been able to tuck her head under his chin? He couldn’t help but feel guilty that he was leaving her. It had been the two of them for so long. It had finally made him laugh when he realized that he was going to worry about her just as much as she was going to worry about him. “It’s only Colorado. I’ll be home before you know it. And meanwhile you’ll have Bri and Jackson and Sage running around.”

He imagined Ryan’s farewells to his parents had been much the same, but knew they didn’t have to talk about it. He reached across the seat for Ryan’s hand to find that he was met half way as Ryan had had the same idea. They smiled at each other briefly as they linked fingers. Chad turned his eyes back to the road, but lifted Ryan’s hand to kiss his knuckles gently.

“Here we go,” Ryan whispered.

“Here we go,” Chad echoed quietly and lowered their hands to rest on the seat between them again.

A/N: I was going to add more, but that just seemed like the place to stop. Please let me know what you think.