Starting New

Chapter 4

The following morning Jake offered me some eggs and bread and I eagerly ate. I was ravenous. I felt like I hadn’t eaten in years. Jake sat next to me, eating his meal a bit slower and watching with a grin as I ate mine and then asked for seconds.

“When the people are ready, they will hold the vigil for your body. It will be short—don’t expect a whole lot. They now recognize that your spirit has been transferred permanently into your Na’vi body,” Jake said, taking a sip of tea and glancing at me.

A while later Mo’at had begun to gather the tribe together and they made the trek down past the trees and flowers to the very southern peak of the Hometree. I saw a small cemetery, similar to the ones that were human made, but also strikingly different. Instead of tombstones and crosses to mark the grave, there were rocks that had been painted a variety of colors.

“That is Grace’s,” Jake said as we passed, glancing at a semi-fresh grave with several flowers planted around the outside.

We walked a bit further and passed up Jake’s own, Tsu-Tey’s, and Neytiri’s. Jake pointed them all out, but didn’t seem to want to talk about it much. We were here to lay my old body to rest. Mo’at had the warriors put down my body into a shallow grace and she stood near the body, waving incense around and the women threw in a few flowers.

I caught the most important parts of what she chanted, mostly about thanking Eywa for my life, human and Na’vi. She spoke of the rebirth and the beginning of a new life. Jake lowered his head and joined in the end part of the chant. I couldn’t help but think he was especially familiar with funerals. But, when he looked up, his yellow eyes followed mine and he smiled.

When it was over the men of the clan covered the hole with dirt and moved on. I stood there for a moment and Jake sensed my stalling.

“I’ll…I’ll be right over here, alright?”

I nodded mutely, kneeling down and placing my hand in the fresh dirt. I had originally thought that changing to Na’vi would be easy. I thought that I might have some troubles at first, maybe some conflicting thoughts. This was true, but I couldn’t help but think I wasn’t ready for this—like I somehow didn’t deserve it. It would be hard to leave my human body behind, my human life. It was what I was familiar with and what I knew best. Sure, I knew a lot about the Na’vi culture and their lives, but it would always be my human life that I would think back to.

I paused at the grave’s of Neytiri and Jake. It was surreal to think that both Jake and I were buried here, but we still very much alive. And, since Neytiri’s death Jake seemed different. He wasn’t as carefree as he used to be. I could tell by his more upright posture, strong set jaw, and general seriousness about life. If it weren’t for his occasional smiles, I would think he was a completely different person.

I moved to Grace’s resting place. So many people had died that day on Pandora, but it was Grace that I missed the most. I could relate to her so well. She and I had a certain understanding. We had studied together and had adventures with our avatars. I wonder what she would think now. She had always wanted to be Na’vi. She should have been in my place now. It shouldn’t have been me.

With a sigh I stood up and found Jake sitting nearby on a low tree branch, his feet dangling down. He looked up at me and nodded. I jumped up next to him and looked out.

“It’s peaceful here,” He said and sighed, “But it’s difficult for me to be here. There have been so many deaths. It’s hard not to wonder what it would have been like if nobody had died.”

“Grace would have wanted to be Na’vi,” I said, my hands moving idly over the moss under me.

Jake smiled lightly, “Your right. That was her dream. She would have made a great Na’vi. She was so talented.”

“So what happens now Jake?” I asked, turning my head slightly to look at him, “I’ll never be a warrior, you know. I’ll never be a true part of the tribe.”

“Not all the people in the tribe were born into the Omaticaya. There were others who came here from other tribes. They had to go through the same rigorous tests that I went through and not all of them are warriors.”

“I thought in order to be part of the tribe that I would have to complete the warrior ‘skill tests’,” I said, surprised by his answer, “That’s what I was taught.”

“Well, warriors are what’s most typically needed by the people, but not all the people are warriors. Some are cooks, some fabric makers, others beaders, weapon makers, basket weavers... Mo’at asked me to speak to you about one thing, though.”

“What’s that?”

“Neytiri would have been the next shaman in the clan. Her mother was shaman and so the task would have been passed down to the next generation. Now Mo’at has no one to pass down to. Her mate is gone, her daughter is gone. She has no one left,” He explained, “She is getting older and has decided to choose a new shaman. She has chosen you.”

“What? Why me? I’m no shaman; I’m not even really a doctor!” I argued, shaking my head.

“Don’t be so put off already, Norm. You don’t even know anything about it. You’re more similar to a shaman than you think. You have an interest in plants and an understanding of animals. You know of certain remedies that are typical to the Na’vi. You could take the role of the doctor easily and the shaman is only a small step up.”

“I don’t know Jake. You make it sound so easy…”

“I guarantee it’s not going to be easy. Neytiri was a very strict teacher and I’m sure that her mother, Mo’at will be, also. But, this is your way into the tribe. Isn’t that what you want? If you can learn the skill and complete the tasks then you will be welcomed with open arms. That is how it’s done here. Isn’t that what you’ve been worried about the whole time?”

“Yes, but…what if I can’t do it? What if it’s too hard?” I asked, picking one of my feet up and looking at the bottoms, which were a little discolored around the sides from walking so far.

“Mo’at likes you. She’ll help you. Tell me what you need help with and maybe even I can help you.”

“When is she going to ask me?”

“She’s not. She expects you to show an interest. Don’t even mention taking the role of shaman or taking her place. Just tell her you’re interested—I know you will be.”

Jake and I walked back to the central area of Hometree. Most were busy with their days and the smell of cooking waivered into my nose. Jake had left me briefly, said he was going hunting with the other warriors.

“You Normspellman?”

I turned around and found one of the younger Na’vi women looking at me. She had a wide set of the typical large yellow eyes and several beaded necklaces around her neck.

“Yes? You speak English?”

“Little English,” She said and touched my arm, “You dreamwalker?”

“I was a dreamwalker, yes. Not anymore.”

“Jakesully dreamwalker, too.”

“He was,” I said, trying to get her to understand, “But not anymore.”

“You stranger,” She said, putting her hands up and touching my face, “Eywa allow…change?”

She was very difficult to understand. Her English was broken and the dialect unusual. I changed to Na’vi, hoping that maybe speaking in her own language would help her to understand.

“What is your name?”

“Mei’Rae,” She inclined her face, looking at me and inhaled, “You know our language?”

“I was taught the language, much like Grace had been.”

“Grace was a good person. She did not deserve to die.”

“I agree.”

“But Grace was still a dreamwalker, like you. You may have made the change, but you will always be only a dreamwalker. You will not be one of us.”

With that she turned her head and walked away. I was confused, wondering if all the Na’vi felt the same way. How did they feel about Jake? Did they still consider him a dreamwalker, too? He was the chief, so I’m sure she wouldn’t bring it up. However, I couldn’t help but feel even more out of place and even more distant from the people. I felt eyes on me at dinnertime and saw Mei’Rae looking at me from across our eating area. I elbowed Jake and he looked my way.

“Do you know that girl over there,” I asked, gesturing towards her, but trying not to be too obvious, “Her name is Mei’Rae?”

Jake nodded, his face darkening, “Did she say something to you?”

I chewed on my meat and leaned over slightly, “She stopped me out of the blue and seemed very insistent on informing me that I would always be just a dreamwalker and nothing more.”

Jake sighed, “She is the intended of Xanos, which is Tsu-Tey’s brother. Xanos blames me for Tsu-Tey’s death and gossips about the dreamwalkers behind my back. He didn’t want me to become chief. He would have been chief if I hadn’t become Toruk Makato. He is jealous and Mei is just helping to spread the gossip. Don’t let it get to you. They don’t all feel that way.”

“Are you sure about that?” I muttered, mostly to myself, but Jake nodded.

“I’ll introduce you to some Na’vi that I have become close to. They make me feel like part of the tribe and not an outsider. Tomorrow I’ll introduce you,” He said.