Made Of Scars

 

Layia set her drink down on the table before getting comfortable on Joe’s lap again. All the men were looking at her expectantly, Bodie even had one of his eyebrows raised at her. “Godfather” She quickly answered before bringing the glass to her lips and letting some of the liquor flow into her mouth and down her throat. That got her an appreciative nod from the men at the table. Girl not only knew her drinks but she could handle them, that warranted her automatic respect.

A half hour had passed with mixed conversations and more alcohol flowing freely before Layia decided she needed more than the liquor. She knew Joe had some in his pocket and getting it would certainly irritate Billy up who was mildly calm now. Call her crazy but Layia enjoyed giving Billy a hard time and getting him riled up.

She shifted on his lap then slipped her hand into the front pocket of Joe’s jeans. Her fingers had just wrapped around what she was searching for when Billy noticed the action. If Billy’s eyes could have shot fire in that moment they would have. Was she actually giving his brother a hand job when she wouldn’t give him a blow job? “Get your fucking hand out of Joe’s pocket.” His voice was rough and rumbling with the anger he was feeling.

“Relax your highness, I’m not diggin for his buried treasure.” She said as she started pulling the cigarette pack out of his pocket. “Then what the fu…” Billy stopped mid-question when he saw her dangling the cigarettes up for him to see. Well at least she wasn’t getting Joe off but Billy’s chest was still heaving up and down while his fingers gripped the table hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

Layia scoffed softly and shook her head. “Fuckin sue me over being out of cigs and needing a fix why dontcha? Damn.” Overreact much, she thought as she searched her own jacket pockets for her Zippo. Found it. She took a cig out of the pack and placed it between her lips as she brought the flame to life, lighting another of her bad habits. Her eyes fluttered closed for a brief moment as she took her first drag, she hadn’t had one all day and having the smoke flow through her again was heavenly.

She placed the Zippo back in her pocket and leaned back slightly against Joe, savoring the effects of her cigarette. “Thanks Joe.” She handed him back his pack before taking another drag. “No prob.” He replied as he stuffed it back in his pocket, trying to think about anything other than the effect her hand down his pocket had on him. No wonder Billy was keeping his temper in check, the girl was a damn force of nature, and Billy wasn’t about to fuck up his chances of banging her.

The group had gone through another bottle of whiskey and over a dozen dirty jokes, half of which came from Layia to the surprise and amusement of the men. It had started off with Tommy telling this joke he’d heard somewhere.

The Queen was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"

The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."

"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.



"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."

That warranted fits of laughter and even a couple of howls from the men. Layia had laughed so hard she almost spilled her drink all over Joe. When she recovered she came back with a joke of her own.

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

If the men had any doubts about Layia being able to handle their crass behavior they were gone now. She was just as bad as they were.

“You all know there are four kinds of sex right?” Baggy asked looking around with the table with a grin. Everyone gave mischievous smiles and waited for him to continue.

“HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.”

That one caused Layia to laugh so hard her stomach started to hurt. Through her laughter she replied. “If that’s the way you think sex is going to end up with women than you guys are hanging out with the wrong women.” Heco, Bodie and Joe nodded their heads in agreement, the rest of the men were still hooting with laughter.

“Okay, I got another one for you.” Layia downed another shot before told them the joke.

There was a teacher who was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.



After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."

That went on for the next hour in between shots and smokes. Layia had taken off her jacket in that time, finding that the excessive drinking and laughing was making her body too warm to be comfortable in the jacket. Baggy had fallen off his chair from laughing so hard at one point in the night, causing an uproar of laughter from everyone else, to which Baggy replied “Fuck You All.” Finally Bodie ended with this joke.

Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn't sleep.

When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.

The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?" The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream."

"That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so much last night?"



The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh."



"That's also true." Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"

The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full."

Billy slammed his fist down on the table, his deep laughter echoing through the bar. He hadn’t said any jokes tonight but he had sure gotten one hell of a kick out of listening to them. Joe was clutching his sides as he howled with laughter while Layia steadied herself by holding on the table, she was almost in tears from laughing so hard. Dog’s head was resting on the table his first silently hitting the table as he laughed. It took everyone awhile to calm down from that one.

When everyone finally calmed down it was 2 in the morning. Empty bottles and shot glasses were strewn over the table along with cigarette butts. Layia knew it was time to go, she had been in the bar with them for hours. She took one last drag of her second cigarette from Joe that night before putting it out and setting the butt with the rest of them. Then she stood up, patting Joe on his leg and winking at him as she did. “It’s been fun boys, but yours truly has shit to do.” She said as she grabbed her jacket from where she had haphazardly placed it. She threw it on and walked over to Billy, leaning down to play with him one last time before she left that night. She placed her lips by his ear like she had earlier and rested her hand firmly against his chest, tracing small circles with her fingers. “See ya later stud.” Her voice was almost a whisper as she spoke in a sultry tone.

With a final grin and wave to the nine men that ran Boston Layia walked gracefully out of the bar and into the cool night air.