More Than Darkness
41
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This is a crossover smutty story featuring the character of
Tess/Salida ie Tess' Voice in Neon Dasies' OUATIM fics on ff.net, More Than
Eyes Alone Can See, and More Than Life,
and Sands/Jeffrey from Merrie's OUATIM fic on ff.net, Darkness Rising. This story
will make some sense, probably, if you read it without having read either of
our stories, but it'll make a hell of a lot more if you just read them. They're
all worth reading, we promise. Anyway, on with the show.
Rated for what has happened, and what might happen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aida woke an hour or so later.
saw was a pair of dark, confused, anguished eyes.
“Sands?” she asked,
all her concern showing in her voice.
Sands didn’t want
to think. He wanted to continue
concentrating on that same scent that brought such comfort to him, but it was
clear that that wasn’t an option anymore.
to say.”
He pulled away with
a suddenness that made her gasp. “Not
right. Or is it?
know. All three?”
I do? The old bitterness welled up
when she decided Salida would know, but determination filled her as well.
best.
“The man who calls
me kitty is someone I could live without.
The boy who calls me Ms. Aida needs me as a mother.
Is you, Sands, my love.”
tide. They’re gone and I can’t redraw
them.”
“Tell me how to
help you,” she whispered, once again reaching for him, moving as slowly as she
could. “You know I’ll do it.
husband. To help you.”
“Make them go away.
Make the lines unneeded.
Sheldon, Jeffrey, Sands.
again, so he technically allowed the contact.
“Yes, they’re all
part of you,” she whispered, unsure of what she was doing.
the one in control. Your voice is the
loudest. You can’t let them drown you
out. Stop fighting if you must, but don’t
let anyone else take control. That’s
yours. Only yours.”
more than words. Wanting to offer
physical help if necessary. But he
wouldn’t – couldn’t – need her. This had
to be his own fight. His own
struggle. His own victory.
“Help me make them
quiet,” he pleaded with her. “They’re
all so loud. All the time.
understand, but they’re there. They’re
always there. No way to make them quiet.
That’s all I want.
on. “For just a little while,” he
bargained. “It doesn’t have to be long,
really.”
“Com’ere,” she
whispered, making him roll into her arms, his back to her front, where she
could hold him tightly. Raising her head
slightly, she whispered fiercely, “I want you all to listen, and to listen
good. If you don’t all shut up at this
very moment, I’m going to go to Salida and talk to her, and we will find some
way to put a muzzle on you all. And it
will be a permanent one. And if you
think I’m bluffing, just try me.” She
waited in tense expectation, remembering the last time she had offered such an
ultimatum, and not sure what would happen this time.
“Don’t believe you,”
Sands moaned. “She wouldn’t help.
all. Exce . . . . me.
“You’re Sands.
knew what they were doing to you. If I
loose you, she looses Jeffrey. She won’t
let anything happen to you.”
“Aida. . .” Sands
whispered after a few long minutes of utter silence.
“I can’t keep doing this, Aida.
“I’m going to talk
to Salida,” she said, reluctantly releasing him.
You’re suffering too much.”
“I’m alright.
“Don’t brush her
off like that. She’s smarter than she
likes to let on. And if she can do
something to help you even the smallest
bit, then I say its worth it.”
“Alright,” he said
with a sigh. He didn’t even bother
arguing the point. If he was being
honest with himself, he needed all the help he could get at the moment.
“I’m going to go
get her. Stay here.”
after a short argument – shorter than she’d been expecting, really – she
returned with the would-be doctor in tow.
“See? He’s not well.”
wasn’t sure if Sands could hear her, and she didn’t want him to be able to if
he was able to. “He said…he was so
fuzzy. He couldn’t remember who he
was. Sands was the choice he was
favoring, but he wasn’t certain.”
“I’m going to go
get her. Stay here.”
after a short argument – shorter than she’d been expecting, really – she
returned with the would-be doctor in tow.
“See? He’s not well.”
wasn’t sure if Sands could hear her, and she didn’t want him to be able to if
he was able to. “He said . . . he was so
fuzzy. was. Sands was the choice he was
favoring, but he wasn’t certain.”
Sands frowned.
were something inconsequential. “I’m
alright,” he tried to insist, moving to sit upright on the bed.
“No you’re not,”
Aida said, returning to the bed and sitting by his side.
reminded him quietly enough that Salida wouldn’t hear them.
nothing I can do about and and that terrifies me.”
Sands gave her a
weak smile. “I’m alright now.
Salida to hear as well. “Everything was
. . . confused. I couldn’t tell who was
who anymore. It’s never happened before.”
“What if it happens
again?” she pressed. “I don’t know how
to deal with it. Everyone I’ve ever met
before has been nor–” She stopped and
corrected herself, “Has been like me.”
“Everyone I’ve ever
met has been normal too, Aida,” he said wryly.
the correct name. “Salida here,” he
finally said, shaking his head slightly as if to settle its contents.
“See?
without endangering either you or her husband – please, let her.”
Sands gave Salida a
considering look across the room. He
didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want to
need help. Not hers, not anyone’s.
her as he spoke.
“Gee, I didn’t
realize things were that desperate.” Her
voice was harsh with her lack of choices.
By nature, she disliked anything she couldn’t control, and this was a
very large “anything.” But she’d been
considering Sheldon, and Sands’ confusion, and Jeffrey’s hallucinations, and
come to the conclusion that something had to be done.
“If you’re looking
for a quick and miraculous cure, you’re out of luck.
that head but Sands’ – and I promised Jeffrey I would never do that – or to
send them all to sleep until I can come up with some sort of specialized
neuro-suppressant. Which could take
awhile. A few weeks.”
“I’m not . . . I’m
not asking you to get rid of Jeffrey, sunrise,” Sands said slowly.
was surprising. What was even more, he
seemed to have meant it. Had he really
gotten so used to the other man’s presence that he didn’t want to get rid of
him any longer? Impossible.
asked warily.
“Just a
sedative. Enough to knock you out and
keep you groggy once you wake up. You’ll
want to nap a lot, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
being a danger to you or us. Whether
they’re yours or Jef. . .” It was her
turn to trail off; her face turned into a mask as she realized her faux pas.
Sands froze.
voice. He didn’t bother asking why she
hadn’t told him about this sooner; he could imagine the kinds of answers he
would get.
“It’s his tale to
tell,” she said sullenly.
“Yeah, well he’s
not here and you are. What’s happening,
Salida?nds nds asked again.
“He’s starting to
see things,” she said, clearly transmitting her irritation at having to answer.
“What the fuck is
that supposed to mean? What kinds of
things? Delusions?
“Hallucinations.”
“Fuck.
“Last night.”
“How long did it
last? Did he tell you if he’d had
anymore? Oh fuck, this . . . is just
perfect.” He rubbed a hand across his
face wearily. “It’s not enough that I’m
fucking losing it, oh no. Wouldn’t want
anyone to feel left out. This is not
fucking happening.” He was a step away
from rising to his feet and pacing the length of the room, but Aida’s hand on
his thigh offering silent comfort kept him seated.
“Are you going to
let me help you or not?” Salida challenged, tired of the current topic.
weaknesses, and she didn’t want to talk about the events of the night
before. Something told her that finding
out there was another murderer in the family would be a bad thing at the
moment.
“I don’t think I
have a fucking choice,” Sands muttered, his shoulders slumping a little in
defeat. It was either get help from her,
or try and keep on as best as he could on his own.
option, he had a vision of himself losing it just enough to not recognize his
own wife in a fit of rage and murder her before he knew any better.
seek h
“Alright.”
away. I’ll use the university library.”
“Don’t you want . .
. to tell Jeffrey first?” Sands asked with a confused frown.
“That I’m
leaving? I think a note would be
sufficient.”
Sands didn’t really
believe that, but he didn’t argue. “Alright.
Can you . . . give me a few minutes?
with Aida rather than alone by himself.
“Then you want the
shot now,” she stated more than asked.
“It seems as good a
time as any,” he said with a sigh.
“Alright.
get dressed and such first.”
Sands nodded, not
quite saying thank you, but close. When
Salida left he turned to Aida. “You
haven’t said a word throughout any of this, spitfire.
“I’m relieved,” she
said very quietly. “As much as I want to
be everything for you . . . I can’t. I
can’t help you, but I can’t lose you either.
If she can figure something out . . .”
“Yeah.
difference, spitfire. But you’re not
going to lose me. I won’t allow it,” he
said firmly, leaning over to her so that their foreheads met.
forehead almost reverently. “Everything
will be alright.”
“I’m holding you to
that,” she murmured, moving until she was sitting across his lap.
“Feel free.
smile, pressing his head to her chest and holding her tightly, his eyes
drifting shut as he listened to her heart beat.
for that steady, soothing sound. He felt
a wave of calm move over him that steadied the minute trembling that had been
racking his body without a fight. “You
don’t have to worry about me, Aida. I’ll
be alright. Just, try and keep that
little black fuzz ball from sleeping on my face or anything while I’m out,” he
joked softly.
“Sid wouldn’t do
that. On your stomach, your back, your
legs, your feet . . . those are probably fair game though.
Although . . .” she looked at her watch, “I’ve got an appointment this
afternoon.”
“I figured,” Sands
said with a sigh. “Do you want me to
wait? Sunrise said she could do it later
if you want me around.”
“No, it’s
alright. I’ll call Maria and she can
take me. We talked about . . . about a
lot,” she said quietly. “Unless Salida
says you shouldn’t be left alone. And
then we’ll figure something out. But I
don’t think you should come with me. Not
today. Not with Sheldon, and with
Jeffrey seeing things.”
Sands sighed again
and nodded. She was probably right.
Aida. Someone normal,” he said with a
small smile. “I can’t imagine what it
must be like for you sometimes. To have
to deal with . . . all of this.”
“It’s hard,” she admitted
softly, closing her eyes. “But if it
means being with you, then I’ll deal.”
“I’m sorry,” Sands
whispered. “I’m sorry things are
difficult for you. I didn’t mean to make
your life so . . . complicated.”
“It’s worth it,”
she told him honestly. “
“Even now?”
“Yes.”
Sands sighed into
her chest and held her just a little bit tighter.
“I know.
They sat in silence
for another ten minutes before Salida came back, looking every inch the
professional, even if her slacks seemed a little snug.
syringe in the other.
“Last chance to
change your mind.”
Sands shook his
head. “I want this solved, if it can be,
now. Before,” he hesitated.
the bed and offered an arm in Salida’s direction.
“Wait!” Aida
said. “I have an appointment this
afternoon. Do I need to stay with Sands?”
Salida frowned, but
obviously thought this over. Eventually
she said, “It’d be best, but don’t worry.
I’m going to be ready for a nap in a few hours.
Sands looked over
at Aida again briefly before turning his gaze back to Salida.
than he currently felt.
“Alright.
anyone wakes up.” Without hesitation,
she swiped an alcohol-soaked cotton ball over his bicep, then poked him with
the needle.
Sands winced at the
sharp pinch of the needle, but didn’t complain.
asked, absently rubbing at the place where she had injected him when she moved
her hands away.
“A few
minutes. And it should send you deep
enough that you won’t dream.”
“Should?
on the bed a little so that he could get under the top-sheet at least before he
couldn’t do anything.
“Most likely
should. You don’t have to worry about
other people jumping out and running off with your body, so you shouldn’t have
to worry about dreams.”
“Well that’s
something at least,” Sands murmured leaning back on his pillow.
that only seemed to make him sleepier. “This
stuff . . . acts fast.” There was a
definite slur to his words now.
“That’s kinda the
point,” she replied, backing out of the room so Aida could sit with her
husband.
Sands’ fingers
sought out Aida’s hand which he brought to his lips in a slow gesture, kissing
her fingertips. “I . . . love you . . . Aida,”
he murmured, letting her hand drop to his chest out of a limp hand.
“I know.
I might be asleep, but I’ll be here.”
She kissed his brow gently. “Sweet
dreams.”
“No dreams,” he
murmured before his breathing evened out, and he grew very still in sleep.
******************************
******************************
The afternoon passed quickly enough.
worries were calmed, although she did hope he wouldn’t dream.
But he didn’t in
the hours she watched him, and before she knew it, Aida heard the front door
open and closignsignaling that Salida was home and it was almost time for her
appointment. With a sigh and a
feather-light kiss for her husband, Aida started getting ready.
while in her pajamas, she was still energetic enough to change her clothes.
She was pulling on
her socks when Salida yelled up the stairway, “Grant!
“Coming!”
She felt guilty for
the relief the thought of her friend brought, and tried to stifle it.
confidant. Even one who could never know
the whole truth was better than nothing.
Sands said it was good for her to have someone to talk to.
Aida quickly walked
down the stairs, sparing a few seconds to pet Aggie, then grabbed her
keys. Salida knew where she was going,
so she didn’t bother announcing her exit.
her housemate had left standing on the doorstep.
“Cherie . . . I know
we just saw each other this morning, but. . .” she gave Aida a one-armed hug.
fat, but . . . solid. She had ash-brown
hair, grey eyes, and a down to earth manner.
Her French accent made her seem more exceptional, but she had the most
assessing manner that Aida had ever found in anyone.
“I know, and I
thank you.”
Maria waved the
thanks off with a gracious hand before frowning slightly.
husband of yours?” She peered over Aida’s
shoulder as if trying to catch a glimpse of him.
appointment? Not that I mind, dear.
“He’s not feeling
well. I made him stay home and get a
nap.” It was mostly the truth.
that too.
“Then why do you
look like you just cheated on him with someone wretched?” Maria asked, standing
aside so Aida could step out onto the porch and close the door behind her.
Aida shook her
head, not confirming or denying anything.
“It just seems as if everything is going wrong at the same time.
Aida had turned up on Maria’s doorstep.
There had been teens running through the house looking scrounging for
food before taking off, and Maria’s husband had been mowing the lawn so it was
noisy. . . . But she’d been welcomed
into the house with a no more than a look and a sniffle (from Maria and herself
respectively), and ushered to the kitchen table where coffee and a cinnamon
roll had been served to her with no questions asked.
They’d talked about
generalities, and Maria had noticed the ring on Aida’s finger, so there had
been some explanation of Aida’s elopement . . . but they’d spent more time in
silence than talking.
“Have you talked to
him about any of it? I mean, he must
know about the tumor, right?” She didn’t
like to be so blunt, but she wasn’t going to dance around such a subject with
an old friend. “You haven’t been married
long, am I right? My advice is to not
put settling arguments off. Me and Bill
have had quite a few stellar fights during our marriage.
since we’ve been married, but I’ve always taken him back.
sometimes, but you’ve got to keep at it.” Maria paused.
other kinds of problems? Feel free to
tell me to stifle if I run on too long, cherie.
Maria said with a kind smile as they walked out to her car.
“Not that kind of
trouble,” Aida sighed as they climbed in.
“He knows, and he’s being more supportive than I could ever hope for . .
. but Sands has his own problems too. So
I’m the supportive wife. And . . . I don’t
know. It doesn’t seem like enough.”
“Is it a kind of
problem that you could ever hope to understand or help or one of those guy
things than no one but men ever fully understand?
“No . . . it’s not
something I can understand. Ever.
much. It felt like a betrayal on her
part. “Never mind,” she mumbled, turning
her head to look out her window.
“Do I look like a,
how do you say, tattle tale to you? I’m
not, cherie. You look like you need
someone to tto yto you, and I’m telling you I am here to listen.
soft-spoken yet firm voice.
“Sands . . . he,
umm . he. he has a mental disorder,” Aida whispered weakly.
Maria absorbed this
information in silence, saying nothing.
wouldn’t let her become trapped in an abusive relationship either.
abuse won’t be tolerated, no matter what the cause.”
passion came from the knowledge that Sands could turn dangerous.
“I didn’t mean to
upset you, cherie, but I had to ask.”
down. “Do you want to talk about him?”
“I don’t know what
there is to talk about,” Aida said, closing her eyes and leaning back in the
seat. “He’s . . . he’s practically
everything that I’m not, or he’d like to be.
He’s a hard man. I don’t know if
you’d eveke hke him. But he’s . . . insecure.
“Of course not,
cherie. That’s what makes him your
husband,” Maria said with a gentle smile, turning off the car as pulled up in
front of the clinic. She turned in the
seat slightly. “If he makes you happy,
that’s all that really matters, cherie. Amour
is precious. Cherish it.
said with a wicked grin and a wink as she got out of the car.
continued over the roof of the car. “You
must introduce me sometime. I promise
not to make a spectacle of myself. Does
he speak Français?” she teased with a grin as she walked over to stand next to
Aida.
“Yes. “Goodness. Wherever “He ran into me on “The Aida gave a “That would be “I will. “He might not “That anyone wishes “Is he “Yes. “Do you think you “Sometimes. “Do you stay “I need “You can’t start Aida nodded, and “Alright. ****************************** “So, what do your parents think of all this, cherie?” Aida looked shocked “You haven’t told “They don’t even “They’re still your Aida shook her “Maybe it’s time to “And if they haven’t? “It’ll look like your “They could argue “Amour waits for no “But you have to style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “You don’t have to tell them everything, Aida. “Do you ever grow “Not really, “We were all so “If you really were “Maybe you’re “I’m sure they Aida groaned “Ah yeah, well we “Bill? “Sands is just a “Never? “He ate out a “Other people “Oh god,” Aida Maria clicked her “I know, and I try “Maybe you should “No . . . Sands . . “That they do, “Trust me, I Maria shrugged. “Easier said than ****************************** It was night when Sands opened his eyes. Aida sighed, and “Look at her. His words woke her; “I’m fine, bitch. She frowned, and “You’re a fucking Aida didn’t hear “Fuck you. The downstairs “So you’re the The first, soft, “Well, with “Is that right? Salida grabbed her
Spanish, and I can’t remember what else.
His last name should be Berlitz.”
It felt good to make the small joke.
did you find this man?”
the street. Literally.
to make it up to me. I told him that he could
take me to dinner in a restaurant where the menu didn’t have any value
meals. And then he came to rehearsal
with me – and stayed the entire time.”
lop-sided smile. “Not today.
under the weather. But someday when he’s
better? Maybe we’ll come by the theater.”
delightful, my dear,” Maria gushed, holding the door of the clinic open for
Aida and then following her inside. “Do tell him I wish him good health, will
you cherie?”
believe what, cherie?” Maria asked with a confused frown.
him well. He has something of a. . .”
bleak outlook on life.”
manic-depressive? Is that what you meant
by a mental disorder? I don’t mean to pry, cherie.”
are?” Maria asked in return.
in love with him all over again.” But
was that the real reason she stayed? “He
needs me.”
because you want to or because he needs you to, cherie?
someone. And . . . and I
fair. What happens if this doesn’t
work? What if the cancer doesn’t go into
remission? I hate the thought that I’m
being selfish, but it’s too late for me to leave.
doubting yourself now, cherie. You beat
this thing once and you’ll do so again. Don’t
you dare let yourself think otherwise. Comprenez?”
forced a smile. “And speaking of that,
time for my radiation. I’ll be back out
in a bit for my chemo.”
me.” She gave Aida a reassuring smile
and took a seat in the waiting room.
******************************
chemo, and Maria was bored, so she picked up the conversation again.
and guilty at the question. Blushing
slightly, she turned her face away and mumbled, “I don’t know.”
them? Cherie, they’re your parents.
know I’ve ever had cancer. They made it
pretty clear what they expected from me, and I pretty much broke every single expectation
they had.”
parents, cherie. How long has it been
since you’ve last spoken to them?”
head. “Years.
talk to them then, cherie. Maybe their
expectations have changed.”
but I can’t handle their disappointment.
They always treated my acting like a phase I would grow out of.
real living off it. And now what am I
doing? I’m not working.
support me and grant my every wish. How
is that going to look?”
in love, Aida. Surely your parents can’t
argue that.”
the timing. I know some people in the
troupe who’d do just that.”
woman, cherie. If you don’t grab a hold
of it when it passes you by it may not show up again.”
admit that I look suspiciously like a gold-digger, don’t you?”
They don’t need to know all the details
of your marriage. That’s your business.
out of needing your parent’s approval?” Aida asked, sighing deeply.
cherie. But you do grow out of agreeing
when they disapprove.”
close,” Aida murmured, looking up at the ceiling and starting to count the
tilspanspan style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I suppose that’s one of the
reasons it hurt so much. Their edict
that I was not to leave was so
totally unexpected. I understand their
reasoning . . . but I needed to act.”
as close as you claim, cherie then you must try and reclaim that closeness.
you don’t,” Maria said softly.
right,” she finally conceded. “I’m not
ready to talk yet . . . but I’ll send a letter.
And if they want, they can call me.”
Less hurt that way if they decide
to wash their hands totally of me.
will, cherie. Who could possible resist
you?” Maria’s smile was kind and warm.
playfully, glad to have that behind her.
“I can think of an ex-lover or five that I wish had been able to.”
all have a few of those. Men can be such
imbeciles sometimes,” Maria said with a laugh.
good-naturedly.
the nights you’re working hard as a stage manager when you should be home
asleep with him? Who cooks for you?
Sands into cooking. . .” She rolled her
eyes.
you?” Maria laughed delightedly. “But
Bill and I have been married for many years, cherie.
today. He was an uncultured brute when
we married, I assure you. I took great
fun in getting him to come around. And
he does complain about my comings and goings.
husband of almost thirty years.
little too cultured.
appalled. She loved cooking. While she
enjoyed having her husband cook for her, he didn’t come close to matching her
in the kitchen. She loved him all the
more for trying though.
lot. And other people cooked for
him. He grumbles,” Aida said, smiling
softly at the memory, “but I don’t think he minds too much any more.
cooked for him. . . Well, I’m glad you’ve shown him the joys of cooking for one’s
self, cherie. Bravo.”
said again. “Do you have a hard time
finding time for just the two of you? Does
this have something to do with your . . . housemate?” Maria asked with a
confused frown.
moaned. “Salida . . . I’d honestly
forgotten about her.” Remembering the
story that had been told to the neighbors, Aida related it to Maria.
me and Sands. She’s married to Sands’
cousin, and apparently she has no other family to go to while he’s gone, so she
stays with us. Which has been as long as
I’ve known Sands. Her husband’s in the
military and is away on a tour of duty.
before he left and she’s a mass of bitching hormones.
tongue in sympathy. “Don’t be so hard on
her though, cherie. I remember what it
was like to be pregnant – hating everything and everyone around you one minute
and then crying over a knocked over table lamp as if someone had killed your
dog the next. It can be both the best
and the worst time to be a woman,” she said with a shrug and a small smile.
to remember, but she’s so damn hostile.
everyone miserable when she can’t find one.”
think of asking her to get her own place then, cherie.
look in on her time to time if she’s close.
house with you and your husband. It
doesn’t sound like she’s causing either of you anything but grief.”
. he-he promised that he’d let her stay.
And he’s not one to break promises, even when he regrets them.
him to choose between me and his integrity.
Besides . . . don’t those wild mood swings calm down at
cherie,” Maria said with a small smile.
then you might as well make the most of it.
costs,” she said with a laugh.
try. But like I said, sometimes she
hunts people out just to start arguments.”
unfortunately. Just try not to lower
yourself to her level by arguing with her.
sometimes find arguing therapeutic. It’s
nice to let out a little steam every once and awhile as long as things don’t
get out of hand.”
done. She’s one of those people who know
exactly what to say to make someone instantly furious.
over and took out Aida’s IV. She was
sprung.
******************************
Sheldon, or anyone else for that matter, but it didn’t know what to call
itself. It didn’t have a name.
hardly a name. It cast its eyes about
the darkened room frantically, trying to understand what was happening.
sleeping figure next to it, Sands, whomever.
in bed and watched her. “Is she the
pregnant one or the dying one? She’s
fucking cute regardless,” it growled in a low voice.
skin, sticking a tongue out to taste her skin.
shifted slightly in her sleep, but didn’t wake up.
Bastard hissed to himself. “She must be
the dying one. I’d think the crazy
pret ont one would put up more of akingking fight.
front of him. He began kissing her
savagely, his disgust growing when she responded to him.
away, wiping a hand across his mouth roughly.
Aida’s eyes fluttered open, and a quizzical look came to her face when she
found him hovering over her. “You all
right?” she murmured, clearly not fully awake.
of the earth, I’m sure. I just wish I
had thought of the idea first. But I
must admit, a fucking brain tumor is a pretty elegant way of killing someone,
don’t you think?”
groggily glared at him. “You’re such an
asshole, Jeffrey. Salida’s
downstairs. I think.”
appearances, went back to sleep.
idiot as well as dying, it seems. I
guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m not
Jeffrey, you whore. Jeffrey’s a fucking
pussy. Always complaining about that
bitch wife of his. ‘Oh, why doesn’t she
want the fucking brats like I do?’
him. She slept soundly, exhausted from
another round of chemical treatments.
of talking to you?” Bastard spat, thrusting himself off the bed and stalking
out of the bedroom. “Might as well have
a nice fucking chat with the mother while the opportunity presents itself,” he
muttered, descending the stairs to find Salida.
level was dark; the only light that was on was the light above the kitchen
table where Salida was surrounded by pages copied from medial tomes and a few
textbooks she’d purchased. She was still
dressed in her ‘professional wear’, there was a pair of glasses perched on her
nose, and a highlighter in her hand.
Nearby there was an opened bag of pretzels and a can of V-8.
hear anyone coming down the stairs.
fucking expectant mother,” Bastard started, leaning against the doorway
casually. “How charming.
knocked up really affect you?
and cut them out of yourself. Pity you
were stopped though. You might have
saved us all the trouble by just bleeding to death.
pool of blood, your fucking pansy of a husband trying anything to save you and
yet failing. That would have been
something to see. Who knows?
parasite? Three of them, fuck me.
you. That would be fucking appreciated.”
hostile words had surprised Salida, but as he’d gone on, she’d realized what
had happened. Somehow, the dose of
sedative she’d given Sands had worked through his system, and had worn off
enough that it wasn’t enough to keep his overactive mind asleep.
threat.
triplets I believe they do a C-section,” she informed the menace at her
back. Moving slowly, she stood, facing
him and putting the table between them.
words into the fucking doctor’s ear as he does it.
the fucking things.” He took a step
toward her. “Do you still want them out
of you like you asked Jeffrey before? He
was too much of a pussy to do it then, but he’s not here now.
by magic, gleaming malevolently in the dim light.
in again and again, but now you don’t want to deal with the consequences.
the process, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.” He lunged around the
table, trying to get a hold of her.
purse as she darted backwards. Her hand
found Jeffrey’s gun – she knew he would have wanted her to take it – and she
pulled it out. Without a trace of fear,
hesitation, or uncertainty, she pointed it at the man intent on harming
her. “You’re probably thinking that I
won’t kill you,” she said conversationally, “and you’re probably right.
you that would leave you alive but unable to hurt me.
wide. “You’ve got fucking spirit, I’ll
give you that. A fuck sight more than
that corpse upstairs. Maybe I’ll have a
bit of fun with you before I gut you. Or
perhaps while. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He didn’t bother regarding the gun.
lover at the same time. And if she did,
so fucking be it. He was tired of this
fucking world. Trapped within tind
ind
of a fucking pansy with issues about his mother with a pussy with issues about
the mother of his children. Not to
mention the fucking brat. He had fucking
had enough. “Just come to me and I
promise it won’t hurt. Much.”
her again.
Thanking whoever
was in charge of such things that the gun had a silencer, Salida fired off a
round, cold satisfaction running along her spine as blood bloomed on his right
shoulder.
The knife clattered
to the floor out of his limp right hand, his face contorting with rage and
agony. “You bitch!
Salida backed away
and cocked the gun agaipan pan style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Don’t.
“I’m going to kill
you, you fucking whore. I’m going to
make it last for days. You’ll be begging
me to put you out of your misery by the end,” he hissed, but he sank to his
knees to the floor, light-headed with blood he he hadn’t even attempted to
staunch.
“Not if I have anything
to say about it.” She stared at him
mercilessly, not moving forward to help.
“Fuck you, fuck
you, fuck you,” Bastard repeated over and over, falling back on the floor and
shuddering with pain. “I’ll get you for
this, I fucking swear! Your fucking life
is forfeit,” he said coldly, staring up at her with clear eyes filled with hate
and pain. He then froze, and his entire
body going ridged as he threw his head back and arched up off of the floor, his
mouth screaming in a rictus of agony. “No!
I’m here!
With that final plea, Bastard was shoved back into the dark places of
Sands’ mind where he belonged. Sands’
body then grew very still, and he still didn’t bother to see to the gunshot
wound.
Salida approached
slowly, unsure of who was in control now.
There was no movement from him, no sign of life other than the slow rise
and fall of his chest. Satisfied that it
was safe to treat him, Salida stripped off her jacket, picked up the knife the
man had threatened her with, and ripped off one of the sleeves.
used it as a tourniquet. Turning his arm
towards the light, she saw the that the flesh wound she’d made was a bit deeper
than she’d intended, but it wasn’t life threatening.
her jacket sleeve around the wound and tied it tight.
Someone moaned at
the harsh treatment, but no one stirred.
he were trying to wake up, but couldn’t quite slip out of the drug’s embrace
yet.
“That’s right.
heart wasn’t in it. “I can’t move
so
so you’re kind of stuck there. But I
will go get you a blanket.”
Sands didn’t reply
save a soft moan before what looked to be a wince crossed his face.
“You’ll be
fine. Just sit tight.”
the living room. “Here we go.”
******************************
******************************
mal>
Jeffrey moaned something unintelligible, his face scrunching
up in a grimace as he struggled to open eyes that felt like they had fucking
lead weights attached to them. “Fuck,
what am I doing on the fucking floor?” he groaned, still not opening his eyes,
but aware that he was laying on something that was not his bed.
seemed to be screaming at him. Had he
done something to it? He finally managed
to open his eyes and turned his head in the direction of the pain.
slightly reddened strip of cloth bound over his bicep.
force as he could muster at the moment.
Salida woke from
her position on the couch. She scrunched
up her eyes against the mor lig light and looked at the clock.
But someone was awake in the kitchen, and she ought to see who it was.
Groaning, she stood
, retrieved both gun and knife, and warily walked to the dining room.
Jeffrey heard
footsteps and wearily sat up a little on his elbows to see who they belonged
to, cursing again as the room spun a little.
little to look at her.
“Jeffrey?”
threshold into the dining room. “How are
you feeling?”
“Like ing ing run
over shit, vixen,” he grumbled. “My
fucking head hurts, I can’t think straight for the life of me, and my shoulder
feels like its on fire.” He paused
before forcing a sadistically cheery smile.
“Well . . . I’gottgotten used to the death threats, so I suppose I’m alright.”
and examined his arm.
“Death threats?
a little as she prodded at his arm.
“I don’t know.
st
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But as you can see,” she must have prodded
too hard because he cursed and pulled away, “I had to defend myself.
abortion.”
Jeffrey froze, not
knowing what to say to that. “I don’t
fucking know who it might have been. Ask
Sands.” He paused.
it was. . . Sands is fucking losing it,
vixen. Something needs to be done,” he
said softy.
“I know.
. .” She trailed off when she remembered
that Jeffrey was out of the loop. “Aida
came to me and asked me to help Sands.
He was in a bad way yesterday.
Really bad. I decided to try to
find a way to help him find somntrontrol.
Not to get rid of you,” she hurriedly said, fearing what conclusions he
might come to. “I told Sands flat out
that although it’d be easiest to just make everyone but him ‘go to sleep’ that
I had promised you I wouldn’t. I –”
“What did you do,
Salida?” he interrupted her with even tones.
“I gave him a
sedative,e sae said, ndinnding herself. “It
was enough that he – and you, and Sheldon, and anyone else – shout hat have
woken up. And then I went to the
university library to do some research.
I’m going to have to invent my own drug to do what’s needed; to restore
Sands’ control but not impair you at all.”
“But someone did
wake up, vixen. How?
abilities, vixen, are you sure you can do this?
“I have to, don’t
I?” she whispered, her eyes meeting his gravely.
another symptom. I don’t know why he came
after me when Aida was in the same bed with him. . .”
have to knock over a pharmacy or something –”
“You’re not going
to knock over a fucking pharmacy. That’s
a good way to get yourself shot, vixen,” Jeffrey said wearily.
“I’d do it at
night,” she mumbled. “There wouldn’t be
anyone there.”
“Yeah, except some
fucking clerk with an itchy trigger finger who doesn’t like working nights.
“It’d be
faster. Some of the stuff I might need
is really hard to get without a prescription.
I mean, there’s always the black market, but that’s unreliable.”
“I’m not fucking
letting you rob a pharmacy, vixen! Deal
with it!” Jeffrey insisted loudly. He
then seemed to slump a little as if the arguing had sapped most of his energy.
“Hush,” she told
him. “Just calm down.
matter what. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Right after I clean that wound.
She helped him climb to his feet.
“Is this stuff
going to fucking wear off or am I going to be tired like this all the fucking
time?” he asked, looking up at the staircase tiredly.
fucking high?
“You might,” Salida
said apologetically as she braced him. “Until
I can think of something else, sleep is the best medicine that I can prescribe.”
Jeffrey sighed.
that when I finally wake up I won’t ever have to sleep again.
they climbed the stairs slowly.
“Mmm. . .” she
replied non-committally, finally getting him into their bedroom.
the bathroom for her first aid kit.
Jeffrey forced
himself to stay seated upright and lay back like he wanted because he knew that
if he did he’d be asleep before Salida came back into the room.
Using scissors, she
cut away her makeshift bandage, and carefully peeled it away.
hissed. “Sorry,” she murmured, taking a
good look at the wound she’d inflicted. “Well,
not as deep as it looked last night, although I can tell you I was getting more
than my fair share of complaints about it.
Stupid bastard told me he’d take days to kill me.”
received.
“Yeah, well he’s
not going to fucking get days. He’s not
going to even fucking exist if I have
anything to say about it,” Jeffrey muttered darkly as he waited for her to
finish.
“I know.
results he desired. He didn’t think I’d
actually shoot.”
“I’m fucking glad
you did, vixen. Except for the, you
know, fucking getting shot part.” He
managed a weak smirk at that. “He should
have fucking known no tou touch my
wife,” he said, clear pride in his voice.
“Especially when he
knew I was armed,” she smirked back. “Now,
let me wrap this up again, then you can take two Aspirin and call me in the
morning.”
“Har, har, vixen,”
Jeffrey said dryly as she wrapped his arm.
“Yeah.
hit the stacks again. There’s a few
things I want to doublecheck and reference.”
“Are you going to
be here when I wake up?” Jeffrey mumbled, moving under the sheets slowly.
“I don’t know.
asleep?”
“Please?” he
murmured, settling back in bed but not falling asleep immediately as he thought
he would. “Sorry this all happened, vixen.”
“Them’s the brakes,”
she murmured, giving him a soft smile and a shrug at the same time.
productive to do with my time.”
“Well that’s
something at least,” Jeffrey slurred. He
could feel sleep stealing over him. “Goodnight,
vixen. Love you,” he managed to whisper
before his eyes finally slid shut and he fell into a deep sleep.
******************************
******************************
It was mid-morning before Aida woke up.
didn’t last long. Maria’s words from the
day before were still running through hea head, and sometime during the night,
she’d come to the conclusion that her friend was right.
After tracking her
husband down, and assuming Jeffrey had been the last to surface – he was in
Salida’s bed after all – she went back to her room and dug out a notebook and
pencil.
For ten minutes she
stared at a blank page, and worked up the nerve to write something.
to come.
don’t regret leaving, because it was something I needed to do, but I regret the
way I did it. I nevernt tnt to do
anything that would make you disappointed in me because your pride has always
meant so much to me. Every performance
I’ve done since I’ve left, I’ve wished you were there.
Smiling because of me. Proud of
me.
I’ve probably made some choices you wouldn’t have been proud of to, but
they haven’t been many, and I’d like to think you could be happy for me
now. Or at least find it in your hearts
to forgive me.
There’s a lot of stuff going on in my life right now that I don’t want
to get intooughough a letter, but I need you.
I’ve always needed you, but I’ve just realized that I also need to make
my peace with you.
in New Orleans. I’m happy, and I’m
alive, and I have friends who care about me.
One of them insisted I be an adult and make the first offering for
reconciliation. So here I am.
Anyway, my phone number is 555-1798.
I should be home. If not, leave a
message with one of my room mates.
Love,
Aida.
Done, Aida read the
letter over, decided it was as close to what she wanted to say as she would
get, then folded the letter and went downstairs to find an envelop and a
stamp. Before she could lose her nerve,
she went and mailed the letter, coming back to the house to wait for her
husband to wake up.
******************************
******************************
Sands stirred with a muffled moan into the pillow he was
currently drooling on and rolled over.
not for the fact that as soon as he did a bolt of pain shot through his arm
originating from his shoulder. He bolted
upright with a muttered curse, took a good look at his shoulder and the bandage
wrapped arout, dt, decided he could get an explanation for it later, and rubbed
a hand across his face wearily, trying to will some of the grogginess he felt
away. It didn’t leave.
fucking supposed to feel refreshed and awake when you get up, not just as
fucking tired as when you went to bed.
wait for later, he swung out of bed and shuffled over to Jeffrey’s dresser and
pulled out a pair of dark red pajama pants and slipped them on.
desire to put anything else on so he decided that they would have to do.
He stumbled down
the stairs, scratching at his bare stomach absently as he padded into the
kitchen, cursing softly at the cold tile under his bare feet.
had just woken up, he deemed it time for breakfast.
“Hey there,” Aida
greeting him softly. She had taken a
break from watching him to make a cup of tea.
“How are you feeling?” It seemed like
the appropriate questions since she didn’t know who she was talking to.
“Hungry, sleepy,
and my shoulder hurts,” Sands mumbled. “And
in dire need of caffeine. And food.
s'> “Go sit down.
talking to – his voice waurreurred and roughened by sleep – she kept the
conversation light and generic.
“Anything,” he
turned and acknowledged her for the first time.
was talking to him. “Oh.
spitfire,” he said, taking a seat at the table and propping up his head on his
hands.
fixing waffles – she thought she ought to pamper him since he wasn’t feeling
well – she grabbed a bottle of Aspirin and ran a glass under the faucet.
then turned away to make his meal.
While waffles might
have looked complicated, they were relatively easy, and she had two ready for
him within a quarter of an hour, along with some bacon and a glass of orange
juice. Coming back to the table, set
set
these in front of him – she’d already gotten silverware, butter, and syrup – and
took the seat next to his.
Sands nodded his
thanks and didn’t hesitate to dig into the meal his wife had made for him.
and hopefully the pain would go away. Speaking
of. . . “Do you know what happened last
night? Or why I have a bandage on my
shoulder?” he asked after swallowing a mouthful of syrup-dousafflaffles.
“Salida woke me
this morning around seven. She said
something about a bullet wound. I was
too tired to ask questions, or even stay awake.”
“A
incredulously around a mouthful of bacon.
“I don’t know.
explain it to you.” Tired, Aida leaned
over until her upper body rested in Sands’ lap, and then she closed her eyes.
“What a pair we
make, huh? Both of us falling asleep
where we sit at . . . whatever time it is.
my breakfast,” he warned with a small smile.
“I’ll change my
shirt,” she murmured, bending her neck a little so she could rub her nose
against his thigh. “I thought you were
supposed to be taking care of me,” she mumbled, teasing him.
“I’m trying,” he
said softly. He knew she was teasing
him, but he couldn’t help but answer seriously all the same.
“I know.
spring her news about the letter she’d sent later.
Sands just nodded
at that and finished the rest of his meal in companionable silence.
chair and laid a hand on her chest. “That
was very good and I thank you, but now I’m really
fucking sleepy,” he muttered with a frown.
“Don’t,” she
murmured, looking up at him. “Sit here
and talk to me for a little bit. It’ll
be hard to fall asleep at the table.”
“What do you want
to talk about, spitfire?” he asked softly, looking down at her as he stroked
her cheek lightly with the fingers of his right hand.
“Well, for one
thing, Maria wants to meet you. I think
she wants us to come over for dinner or something.”
“And do you want me
to meet Maria, spitfire? With . . . everyone
else?”
“Maybe once things
settle down a bit. A wife doike ike to
show off her husband.” Aida smiled
weakly. “But you’re right, now’s not the
right time, and I told her that.”
“You like to show
me off, huh?” Sands commented with a small smile of his own.
“No.
arm. “I love you.”
“I love you too,
spitfire, but what if this is the best I’m going to get?” he asked softly.
it was hard at the present moment what with all that had been happening lately.
He still hadn’t managed to corner
Jeffrey into talking about what had happened to him and what he was seeing yet
either.
Aida just closed
her eyes and turned her face away, not wanting to think about that.
whispered.
“What?
did it say?” Sands asked, immediately tensing.
She shrugged.
“You’re making your
peace,” Sands said, his voice hollow.
Her eyes snapped
open. “It’s been ten years since I’ve
talked to them,” she corrected. “I miss
them. I’m not doing this just because I’m
sick. What if I want them to know that I’ve
met a man I adore and who loves me? They
don’t even know I’m sick. I don’t want
them to know until later. No until after
they’ve met you.”
Sands sighed.
dryly.
“I don’t know.
ago.” The thought was depressing.
“If any of the
stories you told me were even half true, I’m sure they didn’t.”
when faced with the fact that he was lying through his teeth.
necessarily, it’s just that given his own experiences concerning all things
having to do with family, he didn’t really believe they would.
making my peace,” she said suddenly, concerned for him.
overdue. Maria and I were talking, and
she was the one who convinced me to mend my fences.”
“Well I’m glad for
you,” he said with a small smile. “You
should at least try, I suppose.”
“You’re tired,” she
murmured, glancing away. “I should make
you go to bed. Or at least leave so you
could talk to Jeffrey.” She moved to get
up.
“Don’t.
laying a hand on her shoulder to keep her down.
She let him keep
her in his lap. Truthfully, she didn’t
want to move at all. “Are you
comfortable? We could move.”
“Let’s move to the
couch. I don’t want to fucking fall
asleep again, but at least there I’ll be somewhat comfortable if I do,” he
muttered, allowing her to sit up before getting out of his chair to stand next
to her. He gestured for her to go first
and followed her into the living room.
Aida made him sit
down on the couch before she laid down, once again laying in his lap.
shoulders to help support them while the other came to rest right under her
breasts. She smiled at him, then sighed
as she closed her eyes. This was so very
nice.
Sands sighed in
contentment and fought to keep his eyes open. He really was tired of sleeping,
but it didn’t look like he had a choice.
to him just relaxed him further. “I loyou,you, Aida,” he whispered down to her. He
could talk to Jeffrey later when Salida got home.