More Than Darkness
44
xmlns:st1="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"
xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40">
This is a crossover smutty story featuring the character of
Tess/Salida ie Tess' Voice in Neon Dasies' OUATIM fics on ff.net, More Than
Eyes Alone Can See, and More Than Life,
and Sands/Jeffrey from Merrie's OUATIM fic on ff.net, Darkness Rising. This story
will make some sense, probably, if you read it without having read either of
our stories, but it'll make a hell of a lot more if you just read them. They're
all worth reading, we promise. Anyway, on with the .
Rated for what has happened, and what might happen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Salida was just pulling one of Jeffrey’s t-shirts on over
her head when she saw her husband appear in the mirror.
bothering to turn around.
“I don’t know.
standing in front of you, then she’s fine for the time being,” Jeffrey
murmured.
“She’s resting,”
Sands volunteered evenly. “She’ll be
alright.”
“Umm . . . do you
mind?” she asked arching an eyebrow. She
had a t-shirt on, and some underwear, but she much rather preferred to be fully
clothed around Sands.
Sands snorted in
irritation but turned his back. “Fucking
happy now?”
“Don’t get snippy,”
she sighed, reaching for a pair of sweats that were onto of the laundry
pile. “You’d want Jeffrey to do the same
thing if I were Aida.”
“That’s not the
fucking point. The fucking point is that
that fucking bastard showed up again and I’m fucking pissed off that I couldn’t
shim,him, alright?” Sands returned with irritation.
“Fuck you.
could have fucking stopped him. He’s in
argued.
“Well then, maybe
as soon as I figure out a way to fucking do
that, I’ll stop you too.
a sneer.
< sty style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I’m going to –”
Jeffrey was cut off by Salida’s yell.
“Stop it!
This does not look like getting along.
If you’re going to pull the disgruntled conjoined twin act, do it
somewhere where Grant and I won’t have to listen.”
One of the two men
grumbled something under his breath – Salida couldn’t tell which – but it was
Sands who spoke. “We’re not arguing.
“Yeah.
“Yeah, sure . . . now.”
down. “Alright.
drastic measures to make him go away.
Sooner or later that’s going to mean that you’re going to be dead.”
The two men both
immediately tried to speak at the same time, saw that that wasn’t going to
work, and Sands conceded Jeffrey the right to speak first.
with me. That means I can fucking get to
him. And I will.”
“So you’re what,
going to battle in my fucking head? You’ll
end up giving me a fucking seizure or something!” Sands argued.
“Oh don’t be so
fucking paranoid. That’s not going to
fucking happen. And even if it did, it’d
be better than having that fucking bastard in your head, wouldn’t it?”
Salida didn’t like
this at all. “No.
hiding away in there. He’s got to know
Sands’ head just as well if not better than you.”
Sands waved a hand at
her as if to say “none taken.”
“So what, then?
happening. One or the other of us will
wind up fucking dead and I happen to like being alive,” Jeffrey muttered with a
scowl.
“Maybe I just need
to work faster. No, that leads to
mistakes,” she murmured. pan>pan>“Longer
then. Harder.
weeds.”
“How can we help,
sunrise?” Sands asked softly. “Because I
don’t know what the fuck else to do right now.
control,” he admitted with a scowl, hating that it was true.
“Yeah, no shit,”
Jeffrey muttered in return, but there really any animosity in his tone.
“I don’t know,” she
replied as she absentmindedly chewed a nail.
“He is biggbiggest threat at the moment, isn’t he?”
“Aida told me the
kid showed up again, but I don’t think he’s a threat, so yeah.
clenching into fists despite the dull ache in his wrist.
“And how dangerous
would it really be to go after him? Can
he be killed?
“I don’t know.
Sands said with a shrug.
“Well don’t be
getting any bright fucking ideas of testing it out on me,” Jeffrey warned.
“But you care.
About anything. I know he doesn’t.”
“What do you mean,
sunrise?” Sands asked with a confused frown.
“I don’t know how I
know. I just do.
were fighting. Jeffrey cares for
me. I’m a weakness.
doesn’t care about anything, so he has no weaknesses.”
“Bullshit.
“What if something
miserably. “I won’t know, and I won’t be
able to help.”
“I’d know, sunrise,”
Sands said softly. “And I’d help.”
“You don’t think
the same thing goes through my mind after
I’ve found out that fucking bastard has threatened you again?” Jeffrey countered, not having heard Sands’ comment.
“What if he can’t
be killed?” she asked again, starting to .
“What if Sands didn’t get there to help in time?
you both?”
“Well first of
fucking all, you’re going to restrain us before anyone fucking does anything.
can be killed. Third, it’s not as if
Sands has to fucking go anywhere. It’s
his head. He’s already here.
so don’t worry about it.”
“You’re going to do
it anyway, aren’t you? Despite what
anyone says?” Sands asked Jeffrey suddenly.
Salida knew Sands
was speaking the truth though. There
really wasn’t anything she could do to stop her husband if he really wanted to
do this. It wasn’t as if she could stand
in his way and block him from leaving. “Jeffrey?”
she asked softly, her eyes worried, wondering if he was really going to do
this.
“Salida?” Jeffrey
responded, looking over at her. “Don’t
worry. Everything’s going to be fucking
fine. I promise.”
“You can’t promise
me that. You can do everything you can
to make it so, but you can’t promise it.”
“Who the fuck says?
I’m going to beat this fucker,” Jeffrey
said with confidence.
“Don’t,” she said
sharply. “Don’t get cocky.
you put together.”
“I’m not tly
tly
sure that works, since he’s still a fucking part of Sands’ head.
thihe ihe is, that’s all,” Jeffrey murmured offhandedly.
he gets a chance to do anything before I fucking kill him – in there won’t
matter out here. He can’t hurt me.
Sands didn’t know
whether that was true or not, so he didn’t argue Jeffrey the point.
She saw that Sands
agreed with her. This truly was
dangerous. She also saw how stubborn her
husband was being. “You’re really going
to do it, aren’t you?” she asked her husband softly.
“Someone has to,”
Jeffrey said with a slight shrug. “Why
not me? But I was fucking serious about
the restraints.”
“If you’re so
certain, why do you need them?” she asked, trying to keep all emotion from her
voice.
“You don’t want to
do the fucking restraints? Fine.
won’t matter. I don’t need them.”
“Jeffrey!” she
exclaimed, all fear and worry again. “Don’t
talk like that. Don’t be so
overconfident. Please.”
“I’m not
overconfident, not at all.” In fact, he
was fucking scared, but he wouldn’t admit that out loud.
She wanted to make
so many protests, suggest they try anything but this; to weep, cry, rage – do
whatever it took to make him change his mind.
But it wouldn’t help.
“Sands.
If Sands said that Jeffrey was in the right, and she was in the wrong,
she’d stop fighting against this. “Is
there nothing left?”
Sands looked
slightly flustered, not able to speak a word during any of this because he
truly didn’t know what to say. “I don’t
know,” he said, shaking his head slowly back and forth.
control and unable to stop him. I wasn’t
able to stop him then, Salida. And he’s
getting stronger now.”
“And if he gets
stronger,” she finished in a whisper, “anything I make won’t be enough to
suppress him. So he either has to be
killed or weakened.”
while knowing that it was out of her hands.
“Be careful,” she
begged her husband, sitting down on the bed next to him.
“I will, Vixen.
and tried to smile reassuringly at her.
Sands. “Watch over her.
so be fucking ready for anything, savvy?”
“Savvy,” Sands
responded with a slight nod.
“I love you,” she
whispered against his cheek. “I love
you.”
“I love you too, Vixen.
I’ll be back soon.”
******************************
******************************
mal>The landscape of Sands’
mind wasn’t always the most fun of places to be, but it was home so Jeffrey
figured he should at least appreciate it a little if not like it.
violence!”
defeat me? Your little whore of a wife
will be so fucking sad when you don’t come back to her.
place, but from all around Jeffrey, and it was loud and strong.
to death? Please.
listening to your fucking yapping, bastard,” Jeffrey said, injecting a strong
dose of disgust into his voice.
wife at home all by herself. Boo-hoo.
her? I could smell her blood in the air
right in front of me and I wanted her like I’ve never wanted anything else in
this life.”
be your own man.”
never be anything more than a fucking nuisance until one of us kills you,”
Jeffrey seethed to the air in general, becoming pissed off that bastard had yet
to show himself.
I fucking want death. I don’t.
Jeffrey knew there were quite a few more
than two within Sands’ head, but saying two sounded better so he let it slide.
unamused voice. “Calling me out?
fucking Western. Although I don’t think
either of us deserves to wear the white hat.”
refusal to show himself, which, he reflected, was probably the point.
to keep it up for that fucking whore of yours considering your impatience,
Jeffrey. Tell me, ever jumped the gun?
seemingly as calm as a Hindu cow.
clenched teeth, refusing to let himself be goaded.
coward; hiding away like a fucking pussy.
know it.”
air around Jeffrey’s form, and he could only assume that bastard was finally
showing his face. “Fuck you.
little worm? You can’t stop me!”
would – i.e. like Sands, like him – and yet . . . darker somehow.
proper smile in his life. Probably not.
been, cut above his ears and spiked up so that it looked wild uncared for.
toward Jeffrey slowly but with malicious intent.
knife appearing in his hand, Jeffrey gripped the hilt of the sword – a dangerously
curved and glitteringly sharp katana – he had considered getting after he had
bought Vixen her charm. “Mine’s bigger
than yours,” Jeffrey taunted with a manic grin, raising the katana above his
hand and lunging for bastard. Before he could connect however, his katana was
met with another; bastard had imagined himself one as Jeffrey had been lunging.
Fuck.
taunted as they began trading blows, neither of them gaining or losing an inch
as they fought. They seemed – for the
most part – evenly matched. “Let’s see
what you do have in you.”
thrusting weapon per se, bastard managed pretty well and Jeffrey knew searing
pain.
******************************
******************************
Salida didn’t move from the bed after her husband . . . submerged
for want of a better term . . . although she did move to the other side of
it. Her heart told her she needed to be
close enough to help, but her mind told her she needed to be far enough away to
run if she had to. Not that she had
anything to worry about if Sands’ appearance was anything to go by.
wondered, looking at the clock. It
had. It’d been longer than that
now. For awhile Sands had half-laid on
the bed. He’d been fighting for
awareness, she could tell, muttering things too low for her to hear while his
eyes had darted around the room. But
then he’d jerked a little and now . . .
out her pages and pages of notes to review as she sat and kept one eye on her
patient.
Sands didn’t know
quite what was going on, only that it was big.
made any sense, and just maintaining a grip on control and even fucking
consciousness was an effort. “
You here?” he managed, hoping that his
voice was louder and more clear than it sounded in his head and that she would
hear him.
When Sands had mo
so
something that had sounded like her name, Salida looked up from her
papers. “Sands?
Can I do anything for you?”
Resting her palm on the mens’ gun, she slowly moved towards her
patient. “Sands?”
Sands had been
about to answer her – or attempt to, in any case – when suddenly he had no
control over anything at all. He let out
a sharp sudden cry and fell back against the bed, his muscles locked and
ridged. Then, the seizure started.
he were being electrocuted and he stopped breathing, unable to draw air into a
body that was going haywire on him.
“
going into action. She remembered that
it was never a good idea to restrain a seizing patient unless trying to give
them an intravenous medication – of which she had nothing that would help.
previously discarded shirts, roll part of it into a ball, and managed to slip
it between Sands’ h soh so he wouldn’t break any.
It was a hard thing
to do without losing any fingers, but Salida managed.
Sands’ wrist and started monitoring his pulse.
If this got any worse she’d have to call an ambulance.
After a few
horriblng sng seconds, the seizing finally subsided to minute trembles, and
Sands dropped back to the bed, utterly exhausted, his nostril’s flaring as he
struggled to re-oxygenate his body. It
was a hard thing to do with a balled up something or other in his mouth, but he
was managing because he didn’t have any other choice.
away.
She removed it for
him, not daring to remove her other hand from his wrist.
not too bad considering what'd just happened.
“Sands? You still with me?” she
asked, concernor hor her safety all the same.
Sands managed to
nod. “Fuck.
Sands shook his
head. “Fighting. Ohhh fuck. . . .”
he could say anything further.
Salida did what she
could and resolved that if things didn’t wrap up soon, she was going to
intervene. Because if things continued
like this, then Sands’ brain was going to start shutting down from a lack of
oxygen, and while that might get rid of bastard, it could also kill her
husband, and the man that Aida considered hers.
******************************
******************************
Jeffrey had danced
away from bastard’s sharp blade, but not before his blood had been spilled on
the ground at his feet – ground that seemed to be wavering in and out of
reality as he stood on it.
back before Sands totally fucking loses it.
sweet voice. “Had enough, have we?
anyway. Not you.
not going anywhere until one of us is , an, and I don’t intend on it being me.”
Jeffrey lunged at him again, but this
time he was more careful in his movements.
he had before, and found it much easier to avoid bastard’s sword this way.
rent diagonally across bastard’s chest that left him grinning from ear to ear.
informed him otherwise, and he couldn’t help notice his energy seemed to be
lagging.
fucking hedged your bets because now I have all the cards and am about to take
all of your remaining chips.”
who lunged this time. Jeffrey managed to
deflect it, but only just. He was forced
by his injuries to go on the defen but but he knew that staying on it would
only lead to his defeat and death and that was not an option.
down his chin and on to the ground beneath him.
mind wanted to reel at the sensatibut but he wouldn’t let it.
only just.
expect you to anyway, so I’m not disappointed,” Bastard taunted, circling
Jeffrey’s kneeling body but not making a move against him; not yet.
your wife before I take her? Some
proclamation of never-ending love or some sappy bullshit like that?
stopped his circling and now stood off to Jeffrey’s left with his sword
raised high above his head to make a killing blow.
and not the way Jeffrey intended on going out.
sword still gripped within his hand at bastard’s ankles, dropping him to the
ground with his legs practically cut out
from under him. Jeffrey then wrenched
bastard’s own sword from his hand and cut off bastard’s fucking head before
collapsing back down to the ground to bleed.
******************************
******************************
Sands wasn’t breathing.
Whatever had been going on had simply caused too much upheaval for his
splintered mind, and now he wasn’t breathing.
For a moment Salida sat in shock, her fingers on his slowing pulse,
waiting for him to gasp, splutter, moan, anything.
But nothing
happened.
Kicked into high
gear by absolute terror, Salida pulled his head back, opened his mouth, checked
his air passage, and started mouth to mouth.
You’re not going to die, damnit!
she thought through her fear.
Start breathing!
away and started chest decompressions.
That last seizure had been too much.
It’d all been too much. She
should have put her foot down and threatened Jeffrey into staying.
Still he wasn’t
breathing, but at least his heart hadn’t stopped.
using all her fear and determination to force air into his lungs.
chest and started pumping. “
Jeffrey, don’t you fug
leave me!” They couldn’t leave her.
Jeffrey and Sands
both came back to this life, such as it is, with a ragged gasp as Salida pulled
away; drawing as much air in as humanly possible.
they were breathing. They weren’t doing
much else at the moment, but when one stopped to think about it, breathing was
enough.
Salida sat back for
a moment, making sure they were going to continue breathing, before launching
herself at their chest, striking them painfully.
the tears running down her face. “You
motherfucking shits! Don’t ever fucking
do that to me again or I’ll just sit back and let you fucking die!”
she struggled to maintain a single emotion out of the hundreds she was feeling.
“Vixen,” Jeffrey
rasped out, and she didn’t hear him. “Vixen!”
he managed to yell with all the strength he had left – not a hell of a lot – to
make her take notice of him. “I’m alright.
And I did it.
I’m alright.” Truthfully, he felt like
shit. But he was alive shit, and that’s
all that mattered for the time being.
“We’re both . . . okay.”
Sanddn’tdn’t sound anything near okay,
but he was trying.
At his words she
fell absolutely silent, staring at them out of incredulous eyes.
“Alright, so we’re
not fucking okay,” Jeffrey murmured. He
didn’t quite know what had happened to Sands as he had fought with bastard, but
if the way he felt now was any indication, it hadn’t been a fun time.
“He’s . . . right.
much wonderment as he could manage.
“He’s . . . gone?”
she asked slowly, as if confounded. “
bed before she murdered them.
“Uh . . . yeah?”
Jeffrey responded warily.
she screamed, turning on him like lightening.
“Can you count? I can.
her own question. “People don’t breathe
while seizing, and when people don’t breathe, their brain starts to shut
down. You were trapped in a burning building,
with no escape, and then nothing!
Nothing! Do you understand
that! You were fucking dying!
and I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again!
God I hate you.”
“Vixen, Salida, I’m
fine. I said I would never leave you and
I didn’t. If I had known what was
happening. . . . I’m sorry, alright?
The look he got
this time proclaimed she thought he was more than an idiot for saying that, and
then she turned on her heel and left the room.
“Aw fuck, Vixen
come back!” Jeffrey called to her before forcing himself to sit up and get off
the bed. His body felt lit wat was made
of fucking JELL-O, but he couldn’t let her just fucking run off like that.
“I don’t think this
is a good idea,” Sands murmured as Jeffrey rose to his feet on wobbly legs.
“I didn’t fucking
ask you,” Jeffrey murmured in return as he began making a slow pace after his
wife, keeping close to the wall in case he needed to brace himself.
His footsteps must
have been louder and clumsier than their usual noiseless grace, because Salida
appeared in the doorway and shot him a glare that could have set rock on
fire. “Bed.
“I didn’t want you
running off mad,” Jeffrey sulked, but did as he was ordered.
anyway. In fact, he didn’t even make it
as far as back to the bed before his legs gave out from under him.
“Told you,” Sands
muttered with a wince.
Salida sighed, but
she went to the men anyway and first helped them back to their feet, and then
onto the bed. “Sleep.
Since they were in
no condition to argue, they didn’t. “I’m
sorry and I love you, Vixen,” Jeffrey murmured into the pillow, exhaustion
clear in his voice. Sands was already
half asleep.
“Yeah, yeah,” she
muttered.
“Sorry,” he
murmured again in a slurred voice, before falling into a dead sleep.
******************************
******************************
This is ridiculous,
Aida thought, gazing out the window.
Ever since she’d woken up, she’d been a tangled mass of nerves and
confusion. What she believed about her
husband and what she’d seen from him . . . from his body . . . were at odds
with one another, and she couldn’t stop her mind from running in circles.
learning not to think about and simply look past.
But that didn’t
make her any more calm and composed than hugging her old toy did.
With a sigh, she
picked up the phone again. She wanted to
talk to her parents. The last few times
she’d tried to get through, the line had been busy.
When the sound of
ringing came through the earpiece, Aida relaxed into her chair and waited for
one of her parents to pick up.
Sands woke up not
knowing where his was; a few terrifying moments of absolute confusion before
his mind settled and informed him that he was in Jeffrey and sunrises’ room,
where he had been for . . . well, he didn’t know that, but it had been a long
time. He still felt like shit, and he
didn’t really know why he had woken up, but now that he was awake and A.
Jeffrey wasn’t here, and B. neither was
he decided to get up and make his way back to his own room.
Aida just yet, but he figured he’d think of something.
Shuffling down the
hall slowly, hugging the wall as Jeffrey had earlier in case he fell, Sands
made his way to his room, pausing briefly at the doorway as he saw that his
wife was on the phone. He would have
stayed there, leaning against the door frame and listening, but he didn’t think
he could stay upright for that long, so he continued his slow shuffling walk
and moved to lay down on the bed. He
didn’t know how Aida would react to that, but he didn’t have the energy for
offering choices.
Aida was so focused
on her conversation and trying to repair her frazzled mind, that she didn’t
hear her husband come in.
“Grandkids?” she
laughed into the phone. “Gee, Momma, Ithinthink that eleven is plenty. Why are you
pushing for some from me?”
that right now, Sands thought in a moment of pure irrational panic as he
tenetened to the one-sided conversation.
“No . . . no,
Momma. I don’t think you’re listening to
me. Yes, I know how many kids you had
when you were my age, but I’m not ancient yet.
No . . . Yes . . . Momma!” Aida
laughed again. “I don’t kiss and tell,
you know that. All I’m saying is that
when and if the time is ever right . . . then it’ll happen."
to fucking have? If any?!
first found out about
. expectedness, but they hadn’t really talked about it since.
His wife sighed Hearing that When Aida heard her “Sorry, Momma. “I didn’t mean to “She just wanted to “I see,” Sands said “What kind of “Screaming from “Yeah. “Oh. “It certainly “Bastard is gone, “What? Sands sighed. “Oh.” “Well, yeah, Aida blinked Sands didn’t like “Three seizures,” “Because I’m “And how do you That was a tough “And that has what “Nothing. “But you don’t like “No, I don’t. “They’ll keep you “Yeah, I know. “Why are you going?” “Because you’re “But . . . but I He turned on her, “I don’t want you “Salida will agree “What if they don’t “Why wouldn’t they? “I don’t know. “Welly cay can’t Aida thought about “So . . . are you “Would I ever make “No, you wouldn’t. “I should drive,” “Fuck, and the hits “Well, com’on if Sands nodded and “If you’re going to “I wasn’t wandering Salida’s head “She’s “And why would you “No one else is “How do you know “I’ll wake him up “How do you know?” “How could he be “And yet, someone “Yeah, well that “As if he’d tell “Fine. Salida didn’t “Whatever. ****************************** “Here you are, Mr. Sands.” As the nurse Sands had been “But it’s hospital Aida saw the The nurse examined “That’s fine.” “Thank you,” Sands “I’m here to “I know that. “Shh,” she soothed, “What kind of pie?” “What kind do you Sands gave her a “After all the Oh, she understood “Hmm, it’s good, “Never tried it.” “Lemon meringue?” “Getting closer, “Rhubarb?” she Sands did laugh. “Alright, then it Sands made a face “An ice cream pie?” “There’s such a “Hmm . . . you’re “I guess the pie “Tell me,” she “Alright. “You obviously have Sands shook his “But limes are “You . . . tinker? “It’s not like it’s Sands’ eyes darted “I suppose my Sands pursed his “You’re much too Sands accepted the “I love you because “What else is “Nothing,” she “Oh. pan>pan>“Do you want to try “No, I don’t want “No you’re “Yes, I would,” “You’d be just as “Nightmares,” he “I’ll wake you up “But you said that “I’m not going to Sands eyed the cot “No I can’t. Sands sighed. “Alright.” Sands didn’t want Aida came back to “Just get some “I’m not going to “I don’t know. “Yes, I know,” she “Something not “Like what?” she “Books,” Sands said “You already know “Sorry. < sty style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She felt guilty for “Robert, Carol, “See? “You’ve got it “Only you,” she “Well, that’s not She shook her “Oh? “I meant something “Oh. “But my family does “Touché,” Sands “That’s “I’ve been feeling “Stop talking as if “Sorry. “I’d die for you,” He didn’t deserve “Yes,” he said “Stop doing things “I haven’t killed She’d been holding Sands closed his “Anything’s better “You weren’t. “You can try to “I didn’t think you “Yes, but you’re Sands really, “For another hour.” Sands sighed. ****************************** Aida walked by Sands’ side as he was wheeled towards the From all the Aida saw his She squeezed his The orderly pushing She smiled gently “Your ring, sir. “You can’t be Sands gave her a “It’s going to be Sands nodded dully Aida stopped by his “It’s alright, my “No . . . I’m “I know you “Good. She waited, one After an indefinite “See? “Believe me?” he “You said you could “Do you want to go “What? “Alright. “Alright,” Sands Aida exchanged “We need to get you Sands nodded, and In an effort to “Yeah, until they “You don’t know “You’re right,” “Seeing you content “I’ll see what I es'> While his lips were “What was that for?” “That was to Sands couldn’t help “Okay, okay. ****************************** “‘One day I wrote her name upon the strand, But came the Again I wrote it with a second hand, But came the tide, and Vain man, said she, that dost in vain assay A mortal thing For I myself shall like to this decay, And eek my name be (quoth I), let baser things devise To die in dust, but you death shall all the world subdue, Our love shall live, and “That was nice,” “Not just a poem, “Methought I ha All'interno di quel Era non si brucerà; Per vedere quella Di chi amore giusto della tomba, e virtù più giusta Tutti ho visto Al di chi metodo E, da thenceforth, Per questa Il oblivion lo ha Hereat le pietre E gemiti dei fantasmi che sepolti il cielo ha perforato: Dove lo spright E cursed l'accesso Methought I saw the Whose tomb fair Love, For they this queen And groans of buried “I think it loses a “Well, that’s “You’re no fun,” “So? “That’s because you “How do you figure? She ignored the connotation. “It’s a water gun. “That’s what you “Yes, it is,” he “A look.” “Just a look? “The kind of look a “I can’t recall She gave him “Oh, is that “I know.” “What do you mean? “To make a Sands accepted the “Well, every girl “Children, huh?” “Probably because “And do you? Made drowsy by the “Alright.” “It’s alright if we “Yeah, no shit,” he “Don’t brood,” she “I’m not brooding. “I’ll make you cook “And how would you “Oh, I’m sure I “After what “I don’t have any “Then we’ll move to “No, I want to “You don’t have to “But I want –” “If you’re trying “I didn’t. “And while I “What do you want “This isn’t about “You’re my “Well, they shouldn’t “I think of you and “You truly don’t “Where you make me “Well thankfully, Aida groaned, but “Is this better?” “Much,” she said, “What’s wrong now?” “If I’m asleep I “I’ll be holding “I don’t know.” “I honestly don’t “What happened to “My father found “I’m sorry,” she Sands shrugged. “It wasn’t when it “No, it wasn’t. “And that’s why I’m “You don’t have to “Is Chocolate “What? “Then why is “He just is, “It doesn’t matter “It “I am “If its nothing, “Because you’re “Fine. “I’m not trying to “I’ve already told Sands let out a From the corner of “Don’t. “I know,” she Sands nodded, not “You can go walk it Sands shook his “It’s a public “That’s alright. “Alright.” “I wish you hadn’t She was, “Why did you? “All those memories Sands just snorted “Fine.” “Let’s just go “Fine.”
into the phone. “Of course I do.
Maybe just one, but it’s not a life or death matter for me.
relieved him more than a little, truth be told, and it made him want her to
take notice of his presence again. Moving
over to the side of the bed closest to her, he called out her name gently, not
wanting to startle her. He wouldn’t
interrupt her conversation, he just wanted her to know that he was there.
name called from behind her, she squeaked, jumped, and dropped the phone; her
head whipped around to see who’d snuck in, and she relaxed visibly when she saw
the warmth coming from her husband’s eyes.
They weren’t cold. They weren’t
hurtful. These eyes she knew.
came to sit by him on the bed.
tired from working late. Yes, I’ll tell
him. Thank you.
Bye, Momma.” Aida hung up and
looked at her husband.
scare you, Spitfire,” Sands said as he moved to rest his chin on her lap.
talk to you. Kinda like how Papa did,
but I’m sure she’d be nicer about it.”
Hesitantly, she rested a hand at the nape of his neck.
start combing through his hair.
after a moment of silence. “Some . . . things
have happened since you’ve been asleep, Aida.”
details – he didn’t really know all the details come to think of it – but he
didn’t want to keep things from her either.
things?” she asked, more than a little puzzled.
“If you mean all the screamingm Sam Salida earlier, I already know.”
Salida?” Sands asked with a frown. Had
she been screaming? It was hard to
remember.
involved either. She sounded pissed.”
pissed. At me as well,” Sands said
slowly, trying to think of a good way of telling her, and chickening out every
time.
sounded like she thought so,” Aida yawned.
Aida,” Sands said suddenly.
Jeffrey?” No, that wouldn’t be
good at all.
bastard, bastard.
you. He’s gone.
that’s good. More than good really.
her shoulders, and she wasn’t even the one who’d had to live with the man’s
cons nee needling. “So why was Salida so
upset then? This is a good thing, right?”
mostly. The thing is . . . I don’t
really know how Jeffrey was doing it because I was busy having a series of
grand mal seizures at the time.”
several times as if processing what he’d just said.
disturbing amount of calm.
the calm in her voice one bit. It was
unexpected and disturbing. “Yeah . . . three.
But I’m alright now.
you don’t have to worry.”
she repeated. “And why aren’t you in the
hospital?”
alright now?” He thought about what he
had said and turned it into a statement instead of a question.
know this without going to the hospital?”
one. “Because my mind’s no longer the
battle ground for a fight between two of my other personalities?”
statement again.
to do with brain damage?” Her voice was
getting just a little bit more strident with each question now.
go to the hospital, okay? Let me get
dressed first,” Sands said with a sigh, agreeing mostly because he didn’t have
any good arguments against it, and the idea of brain damage worried him a
little.
the hospital.” Now her voice was really
worried, as if his choice to do the logical thing was an indicator of bigger
problems.
like he said he would. He was still
wearing Jeffrey’s robe and nothing else underneath except bandages.
at least overnight,” she fretted, following him with her eyes.
of claustrophobic scans and foul-tasting medicine as well,” he murmured,
letting slipping out of the robe and pulling on a pair of clean boxers, wincing
as the movement pulled at his ribs. “Maybe
they’ll be able to do something about my ribs as well.
pulled on a pair of pants.
she asked, sounding even more worried.
right. I should go,” he responded,
buttoning the pair of soft cotton pants he had grabbed and reaching in another
drawer to pull out a black cotton shirt.
hospital all night, that meant no leather, and silk would get wrinkled.
want you to stay.”
pulling on his t-shirt. “Why?
mind? What’s wrong?”
to leave. And you don’t like
hospitals. And you didn’t ask
Jeffrey. Or Salida.”
with you and Jeffrey doesn’t mind hospitals like I do.
let me stay?”
You’re my wife.
anything happen to me while in the fucking hospital because you’re my wife and
wouldn’t allow it. Doesn’t that work
both ways? They can’t make you leave,
can they? They let me stay for your
treatments.”
overnight.” Aida stood, looked down at
the pajamas she was wearing, decided she wasn't going to change, and sat back
down. “And we’re only at the clinic for
upleuple of hours at the most.” She didn’t
want to go somewhere else and try to sleep.
Hospital beds were comfortable, and they wouldn’t let her sleep next to
her husband – that much she knew. But on
the other hand, she couldn’t just leave him alone in a place he was scared of
either.
make you leave.
has to be. If they won’t let you stay,
then they can’t force me to either.”
it for a long moment, and finally nodded.
She didn’t want to do this, but sacrifice was a side of love and
necessary in marriage. The last thing
she could do now with a clear conscience was to leave her husband to his
personal nightmare.
coming?” Sands asked, trying not to seem to desperately hopeful.
hospital, but she had made sense earlier, and he was trying to change for her.
every idea she came up with. It wasn’t
fair to her.
you go alone?” she replied, giving him a tired smile.
of the bed. He wanted to pace, but he
didn’t have that much energy. “Come on.
this fucking over with,” he sighed.
she sighed as they stood. “You know that
they’re going to try to suspend your license for awhile, right?
incident.”
just keep coming. Fine.”
anyway. And if he really wanted to
drive, he wasn’t going to let something like that stop him.
you’re coming,” she sighed. “They’re
going to want to keep you a good long time, and by the time we get you checked
in and settled, it’s going to be close to
then.”
together they left the room, Sands still walking with measured steps as if he
were expecting to fall down at any second.
where are?” S?” Sands called out. He
figured he should at least tell her of his intentions before leaving.
left him feeling a little more generous towards her than usual.
be stupid and wander around, I’m not talking to you,” she replied, her voice
floating to their ears from the living room.
around. I got up and went to sleep in my
own fucking bed,” Sands muttered as he descended the stairs with Aida at his
elbow. “Aida’s taking me to the fucking
hospital so you won’t have to talk to me anymore anyway.”
appeared over the back of the couch. “She’s
what?”
drawled as he slowly moved into living room to stand – more of a slouch, really
– before her.
do something that stupid?” she asked. “What
do you think is going to happen if someone else shows up?”
going to fucking show up. Jeffrey will
know better, the kid doesn’t really show up that fucking often anyway, and
bastard’s fucking gone. There’s no one
else who has the power to take over.”
Jeffrey will know better? He doesn’t
even know he’s going. What if he decides
to leave the minute he wakes up somewhere that isn't home?”
before we get there, sunrise. It’s not
as if he’s in a fucking coma or anything,” Sand said wryly.
she demanded. “I don’t even know if he
was hurt. He wouldn’t tell me something
like that.”
hurt? It wasn't an actual fight, sunrise. It
was in my fucking head.”
died,” she pointed out in an acidic tone.
someone wasn’t Jeffrey. Your precious
husband is fucking fine, sunrise. I can
feel him up here sill. He hasn’t gone up
anywhere.” He rapped a knuckle lightly
against his temple in emphasis.
you either,” she muttered. “I hate you
both.”
keep from telling me. But that doesn’t
change anything. He’s alive.
answer, she just turned her back on them.
door in as quick of a stride as he could manage, not wanting to talk to Salida
any longer. Jeffrey was fucking fine.
******************************
The nurse showed Sands and Aida into a room.
down to the ID band on his wrist and the puncture wound from where they’d drawn
blood. Aida had sat by his side, holding
a hand or resting her fingers on his leg, through the whole thing, a silent but
steadying influence.
adjusted all kinds of machinery and equipment after Sands had climbed into the
bed, she said to Aida over her shoulder, “Visiting hours are over, ma’am.
Sands, but then we have to ask you to leave.”
plucking irritably at the wrist band when he heard the nurse’s comment and
looked up, managing to look both startled and indignant at the same time.
stays.”
policy –”
ever-darkening look on her husband’s face, and she drew the nurse away by the
elbow. When they were several feet away
from the bed, she said in a very low voice, “My husband has a phobia of
hospitals. If I leave, he’ll have a
panic attack, and he certainly doesn’t want to be doped to the gills.
stayed in enough hospitals. I know you’ve
got rolling cots, and you can set it up in the corner where it and I will be
out of the way in case of an emergency.
But I have to stay.”
her as if trying to tell if Aida was lying or not, but she eventually
sighed. “Fine.
the head nurse.”
after the woman had left.
said in a soft voice as he looked around the nauseatingly pastel hospital room.
He didn’t like it here.
protect you, remember?” she murmured, reaching down to stroke his
forehead. “And I’ll be here all night.”
reaching down to let him hold her other hand.
“It’s going to be alright. I
promise. Nothing will happen.
then, I’ll be right here. You’re going
to be fine. I’ll teach you how to bake a
pie when we get home. Doesn’t that sound
like fun?”
Sands asked immediately.
like best?” she asksmilsmiling. “We’ll
make your favorite.”
small smile. “You should know this, Spitfire.”
That puzzled her. She couldn’t
remember discussing pies before.
trouble it took to actually get some?”
her. “I’ll give you a hint.
now, but for the sake of keeping him distracted, she pretended not to.
and wouldn’t be good green, but it’s too sweet for me most of the time.
but that’s not it. I do like lemon
meringue, though. Perhaps my second
favorite.”
guessed, knowing that should make him laugh.
vegetables.” He then seemed to consider.
“Except pumpkin.
must be one of those out-of-the-box cookie ‘n cream pies.”
at that. “Definitely not.”
thing as ice cream pie? Isn’t that an
oxymoron?” Sands asked incredulously.
right. I think I’m thinking of ice cream
cakes. However, I’m now out of guesses.”
making class is out then,” Sands said wryly.
pretended to plead, squeezing his hand a little.
pie, then teach me how to make that one.”
minute he forgot where he was and focused on her and only her.
down around him, he remembered where he was, and the smile faltered.
never had my key lime pie,” she said
tenderly. “I put green food coloring in
mine.”
head at that. “It’s not supposed to be
green. It’s supposed to be white.”
green and it always seemed a heinous crime against nature that the pies aren’t.
green like it’s not supposed to.”
moldy,” she teased as an orderly wheeled in a cot for her.
to the orderly, examined what they were doing and why, and turned back to Aida
warily. “It’s the principl the the
thing, Aida. Key lime pie isn’t supposed
to be green. Ask anyone.
principles when it comes to pie making are different than everyone else’s
then. And it’s not as if I make it
lips at that. “Alright fine.
Day, I’m not eating it,” he said stubbornly.
stubborn, my husband,” she murmured, leaning down to give him a short
kiss. It was just another distraction,
but she didn’t like the way he’d started to tense up.
kiss in the spirit with which it was given, and tried to let it distract him.
you’re too stubborn to accept anything else.”
Her feet were getting tired so she hooked her ankle around a nearby
chair and dragged it over so she could sit.
The man who’d brought the cot in left.
there?” he asked with a slight frown.
smiled. “Absolutely nothing.”
his own before beginning to pluck at the ID band again.
had been because at least now that was over with.
long as he was in here. But that wasn’t
really the reason he was messing with it.
and restless and wanted a cigarette, so he had to find something to do with his
hands.
to get some sleep?” Aida asked, still running her fingers over his forehead.
to fall asleep here,” he murmured with a frown and a slight shake of his head.
not. At least if you were asleep you wouldn’t
be so uncomfortable.”
Sands said with a slow nod.
uncomfortable asleep as you are now,” Aida stated slowly.
said succinctly. “I don’t want to sleep
here.”
before you can have any,” she assured him.
“I did it once, didn’t I?”
when I sleep like that, without REM sleep, it’s not proper sleep anyway.
sleep, my love,” she sighed. “I’ll wake
up sore and stiff in the morning, so I might as well sit here and still be sore
and stiff.”
with a disgusted glower. “You don’t have
to sleep down there. You can sleep up
here next to me.”
of emergency, and the nurses who’ll be coming by to check on you would not be
pleased. Not to mention that there’s not
enough room up there for two people.”
going to sleep. We can be tired and
stiff in the morning together. These
beds are very fucking comfortable anyway.”
for at least the sake of appearance.
her to, but he couldn’t make himself say as much because he was embarrassed.
whatever it was – he still didn’t like to admit that it was such – had to go.
more tense than he had been before due to thinking about his situation and
fears.
the bed, her fingers finding him in the soft light that came from the streetlights
outside. She was tired and didn’t feel
like talking, but there was no way she was going to leave her husband.
sleep, Spitfire. I’ll be alright,” Sands
said softly, trying to imagine he was somewhere else since he couldn’t really
see anything in the room all that well.
him and the fact that his wife was merely touching him instead of lying next to
him didn’t let him entertain such a fantasy for long though.
sleep.” Her voice was clear and a bit
exasperated. “I’m here for you, not for
me. Now what can I do to help you relax?”
breath.. “I don’t care.
“If you don’t want to do that, just . .
. touch me. Play with my fingers or hair;
it doesn’t matter. Anything.
sitting right next to him. “You know
what I mean.”
murmured as she laced her fingers with his and started stroking the back of his
hand with her thumb. “What would you
like to talk about?”
having to do with hospitals,” Sands muttered.
asked. “You have to give me a topic.”
after a moment’s thought, then cursed himself for it.
You couldn’t come up with something
better than books? He tried again.
about my family,” she murmured.
anymore.”
things to talk about. I don’t think I’ll
ever understand family,” he murmured. “We
don’t have to talk about anything. It’s okay,”
he let himself fall silent and still and concentrated on the feeling of her
rubbing her thumb over his hand – such a simple thing – that brought him the
small amount of peace that he so desperately needed right now.
her silence. “Robert is the oldest,” she
murmured with a sigh. “And then Carol,
my only sister, and then Mark and Matthew the twins, and then me, and then
Zachary. By now Robert is thirty-four,
married to a lovely woman named Heather, and has three kids with one on the
way. Carol is 32 and hasn’t gotten
married, but Momma seems to think she will soon.
children. Mark and Matt are 30.
from a previous marriage – she got married when she was 17, and now she’s
25. Matt is finishing grad school and
has just started dating a new girlfriend.
Zachary is 24, but he and his wife can’t have children, so they adopted
a brother and sister.”
Mark, Mathew, you, Zachary . . .” Sands repeated slowly, both a little
dumfounded at the size her family, and trying to remember the names.
easier, I think. There’s only me.”
drawled, raising an eyebrow even though she knew he couldn’t see it.
entirely true. I do have a few aunts and uncles left.
. .” He cut himself off from mentioning
the fire again. He figured she wouldn’t
want to hear about it. “It’s been
awhile.”
head. “That’s not exactly what I meant,
my love.”
along the lines of at least everyone you need to remember for me looks
different . . . and that’s not always the case for you.”
to the din of voices within his mind, Jeffrey’s still being the loudest, and tried
to pick out specifics. “Two others that
you need to worry about, really. And you
know both their names.”
not live with us.”
murmured. “Sorry.
He didn’t want to think about what would
happen to him if something happened to Jeffrey.
Jeffrey? Sands wasn’t really worried . .
. maybe a little curious, but nothing more than that.
alright. I’m adjusting.
tired for awhile now; it doesn’t change anything.
this place. But thank you for talking to
me. I . . . appreciate it.”
I’m doing you a favor,” she said in a strange voice.
what I would do for you if you asked.”
that he was still so used to having people not talking to him, that it was
almost instinctual to thank them when they did.
she said quietly. “I’d keep promises and
secrets for you. I’d obey you without
question or doubt if you asked me to. I’d
never leave your side, and never stop fighting to live for you.”
such love. Moving over to her as best as
he could, being mindful of the various cords and wires running from his arms to
monitors, he took her into his arms and held her as tightly as he could, never
wanting to let go. “I love you so very
much, Aida,” he sighed into her skin. “It
is the same for me. I would and will do
anything for you. Anything.”
asked, part of her doubting that.
softly. It was a big promise to make,
but he couldn’t deny it to her. Not now,
not ever. “Ask me.
meet her eyes.
that will get you in trouble,” she asked, meaning his urge to kill.
you at any moment because of something from the past.
find you is unbearable.”
anyone since. . . . You don’t want to
hear about that, but it’s been awhile.”
Prudence at the airport in LA. “I will
try, Aida. I cannot change what I am
with the flip of a switch from insane to sane in an instant.
her breath, certain that she’d asked the one thing that he’d deny her.
to make another happy – if someone was going to reform, they did it before
marriage – but here her husband was, offering to try to change.
Instead of thanking him verbally, she leaned into him and pressed a kiss
into his neck.
eyes at the kiss and let himself enjoy it.
when she pulled away, not wanting to spoil the mood, but needing to ask.
try.”
than nothing,” she whispered, “and at least you didn’t tell me I was being
unreasonable.”
softly, moving his finger back to hers, unconsciously taking comfort in the
touch. He then had to move his hand back
quickly to catch the yawn that made its way through his mouth.
I am not going to sleep.
relax at least,” she told him. “Even
sleep.” His hot breath had brushed
against her neck as he'd yawned. “I’ll
be right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
were, but I am not going to sleep.
his pillow with its disturbingly medicinal smell.
crawl. Medicines and cleaning solutions
with a hint of blood in the air that you could pick up if you knew what it
smelled like as well as he did. The
combination of smells left something to be desired.
tired now. Please, just try.
talk some more.”
that got to him. “Alright.
awake?”
comfortable, closing his eyes. He’d
promised Aida he’d try to sleep at least, and that meant exactly that.
himself awake just to “run out the clock” as it were.
******************************
imaging center, a male orderly pushing the wheelchair that it’d taken promises
and bribes to get Sands to even sit in.
fucking attention he was getting, Sands was starting to feel like either enemy
of the state #1 or someone terminally ill.
annoyed. And that was without the added
annoyance of being wheeled around in the fucking wheelchair like an invalid.
point? He was being wheeled off to
ki
kind of fucking test or another – his second for the day after something called
an EEG that they did while he was asleep – and he didn’t want to go.
resistance and obstinacy in the set of his jaw, and she sighed.
making it hell for her, not to mention the poor technicians doing all the
tests. At least I’m used to it, she thought as the fingers of her right
hand slipped under his hair to rest at the nape of his neck.
against his skin, but then he seemed to relax a bit, which still left his
muscles as hard as sandbags. Nothing was
going to get through.
asked himself not for the first time as he was wheeled into a room to get what
he was told would be an MRI to test for possible brain abnormalities such as a tumor.
Now while he had always had a bit of a
morbid curiosity to find out if there was anything specifically wrong with his
brain that caused his behavior and led him to speak to and be controlled by
other people within his own brain, he was no longer curious.
been his choice to coere.ere.
I fucking listen to them? I’m a fucking
idiot. His hand sought out Aida’s at
his side, unconsciously taking comfort in her touch.
to see what was coming for him before it got here.
hand and tried to inconspicuously roll her shoulders.
night spent in an uncomfortable chair, but then again, she supposed she
shouldn’t complain since she’d known what she was in for.
him suddenly stopped as they reached their destination and told him he could
stand up and get out of the goddamned wheel chair now.
but not wanting to be where he was either.
him only reinforced the swell of claustrophobia that had startedurriurring to
him as he had been wheeled down the hall.
addressed him, handing him a release form. Sands looked down at it as if it
were completely foreign to him, not seeing the words.
and took the release form from him. She
read it over, asked the clerk a question, and then signed it herself; her hand
was comfortingly tight on his the entire time.
You need to remove it before we take the test,” the man said, glancing down to
the wedding ring on Sands’ right hand. Sands
frowned at him and looked to Aida.
wearing any metal when you take the test otherwise it will cause problems,” she
said softly, raising their joined hands up a little so she could bring his ring
into prospective. “I’ll hold on to it
for you.”
look, but reached down to pull his wedding ring off of his finger with a little
effort, remaining absolutely silent as he did so.
alright,” she assured him, kissing his cheek.
“It’s going to be alright."
Still holding his hand, she turned to speak to the technician for a few
moments, then followed both men in as they walked into the room with the MRI
equipment.
but didn’t otherwise respond.
I can do this, he told himself again and again. It’s nothing.
it to the room, took a good long look at the MRI machine, and stopped like a
deer frozen in the headlights, about to get creamed by an oncoming semi.
side, her hand tightening around his and reassuring words practically falling
out of her mouth. She could understand
why he wouldn’t want to go through with the MRI, considering thehinehine's
basic shape resembled that of a long, round coffin.
if he went in would be his ankles and feet.
love. You can do this, but if you don’t
want to, that’s okay too. You’re here
because you chose to be. No one is
forcing you to do this. It’s alright to
change your mind. I’m right here, I’ll
stay with you. I asked and they’ll let
me. It’s alright.
alight. I can do this,” Sands murmured,
forcing himself to move again. He wasn’t
going to let a fucking machine scare him.
and laid down in front of machine, determined to get through this.
that if he stopped the process at any time before he was supposed to be
finished they’d just have tort art all over again and blah, blah, blah.
and confident as he could manage at the moment, looking down at her as she
moved to stand at his side.
are. I told you you would be.
is where I’m going to stay.” She smiled
at him as if knowing he was simply putting on a brave face for her and she
loved him for it.
lifted his head up slightly so that he could watch her as he was moved into the
machine. Once inside, he closed his
eyes. He didn’t want to, didn’t want to
admit even such a small defeat as that, but he couldn’t help it.
could to relax as the scan went on.
but then he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to move, so he stayed still and
prayed it would be over soon.
hand resting on his ankle while the other gently played with his toes.
to talk. All she wanted to do was
reassure him that she was still right there with him.
amount of time, Sands finally felt the table moving him back out of the machine
and the technologist in the booth was was apparently running it telling him
that he was finished. Sands sighed as
the wheelchair was presented to him again but didn’t argue.
place, and he figured things would go a hell of a lot quicker if he just went
along with all of it. Well, that was the
theory in any case. He grasped Aida’s
hand at his side and brought it up to his lips lightly before bringing it back
down again. She gave him his ring back
and he returned it to his finger with a gesture of thanks.
fingers through his hair as she walked. “Just
noisy. I knew I was right to believe
you.”
asked, glancing over at her briefly before turning his eyes back in front of
him. Why was the damn wheelchair moving
so slow? Couldn’t they tell he just
wanted to get out of here?
do it. And I believed you.
Sands said with a slight nod, his voice seemingly distant again.
get some lunch?” sheed, ed, trying to keep a bit of normality in their
conversation.
don’t know. Not really hungry right now,”
he murmured.
cats a bit. I’ve been neglecting Aggie
lately.”
murmured, getting out of the wheelchair as he had been returned to his room.
not really knowing who to ask.
glances with the man escorting them. He
nodded.
checked out, but then yes, we can go.”
started to pace a little on nervous energy alone.
calm him, Aida crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her husband's
waist. “Alright.
process the scans they took and want me to come back,” he muttered, staying
still in her arms because she left him with no other choice.
that’s going to happen, so don’t worry about it.
going to get me for my birthday.” She’d
try anything to get his mind onto something other than depressing thoughts.
Sands said with a soft sigh before making a visible attempt to do what she told
him to. “What would you like today?”
and relaxed. A picnic in the park.
can do,” Sands said with an almost smile.
still quirked up, she rose up on her tiptoes and kissed him, lingering until he
kissed her back.
he asked as she pulled away, seemingly pleased enough with his returning of the
kiss to let it end.
encourage you to smile more. For every
give you a kiss.”
it, that made him smile again. She
dutifully rewarded him with another kiss.
She took his hand, and pulled him out of the room.
******************************
waves and washed it away:
made my pains his prey.
so to immortalize!
wiped out likewise. Not so
shall live by fame: My verse your virtues rare shall eternize, And in the
heavens write your glorious name; Where, whenas
later life renew.’ There’s your poetry,”
Sands said softly as they sat down on the soft grass with their picnic basket.
It wasn’t the happiest of poems, but it
was the first one that had occurred to him.
she smiled, leaning back against his chest and trying not to hurt his ribs at
the same time. “I think you need to
recite something in Italian for me. I
like hearing that.”
but something in Italian, huh? You don’t
ask for the small things, do you?” he teased gently.
visto la tomba in cui disposizione di Laura,
tempiale dove la fiamma vestal
e, passando da quel senso,
polvere sepolta di fama vivente,
mantenuta:
improvvisamente la
l'anima di Petrarch ha pianto,
quelle tolleranze non sono state viste:
assistita a; in di chi stead
posto giù sulla saettia del Laura:
più dure è stato visto per sanguinare,
Homer ha tremato tutti per il dolore,
di quel ladro celeste!”
grave where Laura lay,
and fairer Virtue kept:
seen:
attended; in whose stead
bleed,
ghosts the heavens did pierce:
grief,
thief!
something in the translation,” Sands murmured.
back as she tilted her head to look up at him.
“It just sounds beautiful.”
something I suppose,” Sands said with a small smile.
you want. I’m not making any promises
about the water gun fight though.”
she sighed after giving him a short kiss for the small smile.
have a water gun fight, now do you?”
know I’d win.”
I’m an excellent marksmen, water pis
or
or otherwise,” Sands said wryly. He then
thought about what he had said and the implications behind it.
I bet you’ve never used a water gun, so how would you know if you’re
good or not?”
wet.”
think,” she sighed, picking up a sandwich and taking a bite.
said, giving her a smirk that was just this side of smug.
that he was playing with her.
wife gives her husband when he deserves one.
I’m sure I’ve given it to you before.”
such a look. I’m not sure it ever
existed, spitfire. You’re making this
up, aren’t you?” he teased with another small smile before stealing some of the
fresh fruit he had gotten for her.
another kiss, then gave him the look.
longsuffering all into one glance.
now that I know what it looks like.” He
laid back on the blanket he had spread out over the grass and tilted his head
to look at her with her face framed by a clear blue sky.
just to say it.
gotten the canary. “It’s all part of my
master plan.”
confused wariness.
wonderful man fall madly in love with me, and then to live happily ever
after. I’m still working on the second
part.” She tore off a bit of her
sandwich and offered it to him.
bite of sandwich and chewed it thoughtfully before speaking.
thoughts about what your life would be like when you were younger?
imagines her wedding day, I suppose. I
don’t think I was ever too involved in it, although I think I can remember
wishing my wedding would be a great deal like that in The Taming of the
Shrew. But my life afterwards?
observed from my parents. A small house
filled with love, respect, and lots of children.
Sands murmured, biting at his bottom lip a litts hes he thought some more.
that the other day.”
Momma had Robert almost exactly nine months after the wedding.
all my siblings have made her a grandmother.
She’s waiting for me to do my part, apparently.”
slowly.
heat of the sun and the company of her husband, Aida answered with any
hesitation. “Maybe in a few years, when
and if we decide it’s the right time and we both want it.”
right now, Sands.”
never do, though,” she murmured as she laid down to rest her head on his
shoulder. “There’s going to be enough
kids in the house as it is.”
muttered, not even wanting to think about the pitter-patter of little sunrise
and Jeffrey feet. Thinking about the
coming brood of potential psychotics made him wonder about Jeffrey again.
said, knowing he was without even opening her eyes.
fee.”
a pie without my help.”
intend to do that? I just wouldn’t make
the pie.”
could think of something.” She nuzzled
his neck. “Let’s go for a walk before I
fall asleep.”
happened last time we took a walk? Just
take a nap in the sun like a big cat, Aida.
sunscreen, so I’ll get sunburned, and I haven’t put on any moisturizer, so I’ll
dry up. It won’t be fun.
but its too nice a day to waste.” She
didn’t move.
the shade. We’re in a park, Aida.
around here somewhere. I’ll find you
one.”
walk. I want to hold your hand.”
be walking to hold my hand, spitfire.”
really mattered to her husband.
to convince me to take a walk with you right now, you’re failing miserable,
Aida. You’reing ing a nap instead.
anyway?” He himself hadn’t got a whole
lot, and had been woken up more than a few times throughout the course of the
night, but at least he had gotten some. Surprising
as that was when he stopped to think about it.
appreciate that, I do, I didn’t really mean for you to have to stay up all
night in order to do so. You now have
two choices: nap here in the park in the shade, or nap at home.
to do?” she asked, not wanting to deprive him of being outside if that’s what
he wanted.
me.”
husband. My every thought and decision
is based on you. Or at least made with
you in mind.”
be. What about thoughts for you?
night.”
you think of me. That’s the way things
work. And I truly don’t care.”
care about what?”
sleep. I’d sleep in a cardboard box on
the sidewalk as long as you were there with me.”
it won’t have to come to that,” he said wryly.
shady spot you wanted though.”
she forced herself to get up and walk to a nearby tree with her husband.
basket. When she would have childishly
wrapped herself in the blanket, he grabbed a corner and forced her to share after
a brief game of tug-o-war.
he asked, laying down on the blanket next to her.
enough to let a little light through, but it was definitely cooler than it had
been in the direct sunlight.
trying to force her eyes to stay awake.
Sleeping felt like a waste of time today.
he asked, seeing her trying to keep herself awake.
taking a nap with me?”
can’t talk to you, and I can’t tell if I’m holding your hand or not.”
your hand, Aida,” he said softly, giving her another smile.
remember where the name came from, Aida.
think, on maybe . . . my fourth or fifth birthday.
him?” Her eyelids were getting heavier
and heavier.
him and took him away,” Sands said slowly, his eyes glazed a little in memory.
murmured, her mind churning with ideas. “That
must have been hard.”
happened.”
self-depreciating laugh.
sorry,” she said quietly.
be sorry, Aida. It was just a stupid
rabbit. Dirtiest thing you ever saw
because I couldn’t ask anyone to clean it for me.
probably just threw it out.”
stupid?” she asked, waiting for his answer.
Aloysius ‘just a stupid rabbit?’”
alright? I shouldn’t have kept him.
muttered. “Caught and fucking punished
too. Can’t leave out that.”
him in the eye. “Sands, if you care
enough about something to still be upset about its loss, then it is
yourself because you should have know better will help.
better at the tender age of seven.” She
narrowed her eyes to make sure she was makier per point.
now, one way or another. Fine.
parents for taking him away from me even though I never said a word.
is gone now just as it was then.”
little. “You’re still hurting, and that
matters a great deal.”
Its not the center of the universe.
then why are you cursing?” she askoftloftly.
starting to irritate me with all these questions about something that happened twenty
years ago.”
civil. Or you can admit to yourself that
its okay for you to feel upset and just accept that you want Aloysius, stupid
rabbit or not.”
pin anything on you! I just want to know
why you care so fucking much!”
you. Because I feel what you do.”
watched kids down at the lake as they fed ducks.
little growl of utter frustration before forcing himself to calm down and
think. “Fine.
still pissed off at my father for taking and my mother for doing nothing to
stop him. I had never truly hated them
until that day.” He scowled at the world
in general and looked away from her, not wanting to see her face as he told her
these things.
her eye, Aida saw him look away. She
knew that in forcing him to admit something he didn't want to and had struggled
not to acknowledge, she’d upset him, but she truly believed it was better for
him to get these things out of his heart
He couldn’t let these memories clutter his mind, not when she wanted
them to build new, happier memories together.
If he didn't let them go, they'd just hang back and poison everything
they did. So she allowed him his anger
with her, and simple reached over and squeezed his arm.
scowling, but didn't pull his arm away.
whispered. “And I love you.”
saying anything in return. He was still
too fucking pissed off.
off if you want. I’ll stay here and nap
until you get back.”
head and still didn’t look at her. “I’m
not leaving you here by yourself.”
park. Nothing will happen to me.”
up at the leaves overhead.
asked me about all of that,” Sands murmured after a few long minutes in utter
silence. He didn’t even check to make
sure she was still awake when he said it.
be listening.
however. “I know, and I’ll probably ask
you something else you don’t want me to at some point in the future.”
help him heal from his parents’ neglect.
Love was all well and good, but there was only so much it could do
before getting tough. Especially when he
didn’t want her to do anything but leave him be.
about it? I still don’t,” he murmured, still not looking at her.
are inside you, locked away because you’ve never had anyone to share them
with. Well, here I am.
away, that you won’t trust me with them.
If they don’t lose their sting, they’ll just poison every memory we make
together, and forever you’ll be thanking me for the simple gift of talking to
you. I want these things to become
common place, but first we have to get rid of everything that tells you that
you’re anything less than a person worthy and worth being loved.”
at that.
decision.
home. Jeffrey’ll probably be fucking
pissed at me for leaving sunrise alone this long,” he muttered.