More Than Darkness
47
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Salida woke up early.
The sun was just starting to rise, but already her mind was starting to
crank with ideas about how to torment her husband...and appear innocent at the
same time.
They were facing one
another, Jeffrey nearly on his back and she was leaning against him
slightly. Slowly she shifted until more
of her body was pressed against his, then she insinuated one of her legs
between his before nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck.
mouth so her breath washed over his neck.
All this done, she waited for him to wake and automatically respond to
her.
Jeffrey hummed a
contented response as something warm and soft was pressed up against him and
instinctively moved closer to it without opening his eyes. Opening his eyes was
many times more effort than he wanted to undertake at the moment, so he simply
tried to move into the source of the contenting warmth and fall back asleep.
His hands moved out and pulled that warmth closer to him even as he moved.
Wanting more of a
response than that, Salida settled her leg more firmly against the morning
erection she could feel, and softly moaned in his ear.
Feeling the
pressure on his now slightly aching arousal galvanized Jeffrey into action and
he opened his eyes and saw his wife above him and immediately moved his hands
to the sides of her head and pulled her down for a passionate kiss before he
could stop to think about what she was trying to do to him.
Salida kissed him,
pretending to be sleepy and half-awake.
Certainly he couldn't accuse her of cheating if she was simply reacting
to something that had woken her.
Once he was sure
she'd stay kissing him, his hands began to move of their own accord down her
sides and up under the edge of her pajama shirt to skim along her back and
under the waistband of her pants to cup her ass and press her down towards him.
As pleasant as this was though, if she didn't stop him, he'd win by
default. They had rules, and while they
were both still fully clothed, she doubted Jeffrey would stop in his
half-conscious state.
"Lover,"
she murmured in his ear. "You're
about to lose."
Jeffrey's hands
stilled and he let out a groan of frustration. "You know what? Fuck it. I
don't care. I'm tired of this. So, I'm a bit of a sex addict. Who cares? With a
wife as sexy as you, it's no question. I like sex. I like the physical act,
sure, but you're right. I like the emotional contact that comes with it. I like
being close to you in all the ways I can. So fine. You win, vixen. I give
up."
" doe doesn't
count," she murmured as she moved against him.
surrender?"
"Tell
me," he murmured, nipping at the underside of her chin.
"You have to
willingly put yourself at my complete and absolute mercy without knowing what
I'm going to do. You have to willingly
put yourself into restraints, and then allow me to do whatever I please.
without saying a word or making a peep.
Through all of it. Still want to
give up?"
"Let me get
this straight. Either I do this-go along with everything you said-or no sex? I
don't like those options, vixen," he said with a frown.
"Those were
the terms of our bet. The staying silent
part isn't required, although you did say you could do it.
decided though. You voluntarily in your
hand restraints. You may leave your legs
free. It's either that, or we keep going
until you cooperate, or your 48 hours are up."
48 hours seemed
like an incredibly long fucking time
to him right now. "How long are you going to leave me like that?"
"You don't get
to find out. I may not leave you be
until we're exhausted. I might leave you
until nightfall, Sands' appearance or not."
They were shitty
options, but what choice did he have? He didn't want things to go on like this.
He hated having to restrain himself
every single time he wanted to respond to his wife. It wasn't in his nature to
hold himself back. He was ruled by his passions and he knew it. He was
"Fine," he said in a somewhat grudging tone.
"Alright." Salida moved
off him and took a seat on the far side of the bed.
"You going to
let me at least brush my teeth and go to the bathroom first, warden mine?"
he drawled with a raised eyebrow.
"Go
ahead. Be my guest, lover."
Jeffrey sighed and
moved out of bed, straightening his bunched boxers as he walked to the
bathroom. He took his time with his usual morning activities, not knowing how
long his wife would leave him locked up. Depending on how devious she was
feeling, it could be anytime between minutes and
hours. He just hoped it wouldn't last all day. With this thought in mind, he
wandered back and reclaimed his spot in bed underneath the covers. "You're
going to have to do the second restraint. I won't be able to reach."
"Alright." She wasn't
going to make any move towards him until he had done all he could on his own.
Making sure the
covers were at least pulled up to his lap and that his pillow was moved to the
middle of the bed so that he could lay on it, he reached up and with a slight
sigh he buckled the larger restraint around his right wrist tightly before
offering his left to her.
Moving slow enough
to be torturous, Salida took his arm in her hands, languorously kissing her way
up to his hand from his elbow. After
nibbling on the inside of his wrist for several seconds, she kissed it and
strapped it in firmly. Then she lowered
her mouth to his and gave him a passionate kiss...right before getting off the
bed.
Jeffrey sighed and
tried to resign himself to his fate as he let his head fall back to the pillow.
Sooner or later depending on how long she made him
suffer, he'd have to work it so that he could move up to sit with his back
against the headboard to restore circulation to his arms. But that wouldn't be
a problem for a little while yet. "Just don't leave me for too long, ok
vixen mine?"
"I'm afraid
you don't get an opinion on the matter, lover.
I'll be back when I get back."
She kissed him again.
"Although, if its any comfort, I'm not
really leaving the room."
"Then where
are you going?"
"Bathroom.
take a shower where I actually get cleaner instead of dirtier.
Goddamnit, that
wasn't fair. What happened to the 'no one showers alone' rule? She was just
doing this to torture him. He pounded his head against the pillow a few times
in frustration before relaxing and trying to ignore the sounds of the shower.
True to her word,
Salida only took ten minutes to shower. But
after that she took fifteen to blow-dry her hair, and a few more to brush her
teeth, swish some mouthwash, and to floss.
Before emerging once again, she slipped into a little something she'd
bought while Jeffrey was gone. It was a
set of leather lingerie. While there was
nothing particularly special about the panties, the bra had five inch long
fringe hanging down from it.
Dressed and with
her hair hanging loose down her back, she grabbed their bag of goodies and came
out of the bathroom.
Jeffrey had been
trying-and failing miserably-to go back to sleep while his wife showered, but
he couldn't help himself. He came to attention-in more ways than one-when he
saw her. He cleared his throat. "When…did you get that, vixen?" he
asked, pleased with how causally he managed to ask that when confronted with a
vision of heaven in leather.
"When I was
home alone and everyone else was in
with this kept a secret otherwise."
Gracefully she stalked over to the bed, reveling in the way the fringe
caressed her skin.
"And why
didn't you show it to me earlier?" he asked in that same casual tone,
although he was unconsciously balling his handso fio fists now.
"I was waiting
for the correct time. I wanted to wear
it for more than five seconds."
Getting onto the bed, she knelt over him, her legs to either side of his
hips. "I take it you approve."
Jeffrey nodded
before clearing his throat again. "You're timing could have been a bit
better from my point of view though, vixen."
"Your point of
view is always, 'How fast can I get it off?'/spa/span>I wanted you to appreciate it for awhile."
nearly spilling out of what used to be merely tight cups.
suppose there are good things to say about pregnancy, she mused as she
wad Jed Jeffrey's eyes lock onto her chest.
"Uh…yeah. I
appreciate it," he murmured dully, his brain seeming to short circuit a
little due to over stimulus. "You look…ravishable," he said at last.
"I was just
thinking the same thing," she replied, pulling the covers back.
his appreciation. "I see you have
something for me."
"Yes, it would
appear so," Jeffrey murmured, looking down at his chest at the clearly
noticeable bulge of his arousal through his boxers. As if he couldn't fucking
feel it throbbing for attention.
"I think I'll
be merciful for the moment and take care of this.
me." Her grin was pure evil as she
pulled down his boxers. "How would
you like me to resolve this?"
"Ride me hard
and fast until I burst, vixen," he drawled, his arousal twitching in
anticipation even as he said it.
"No...that's
not exactly what I had in mind. At least
not yet." Salida slid her hands up
her husbands legs, past his arousal to his stomach, up to his chest, and then
back down. This time, she allowed her
hands to come to rest over him.
"Anything else you'd like?"
"What…are you
willing to give me?" he asked, arching under her touch before he could
stop himself.
"What do you
want?"
"Oh god, I
want…everything. Your hands moving over me until I'm bucking off of the bed.
Your mouth licking and biting and sucking at me until I'm moaning. I want
everything."
"Alright." Opening her
bag, she pulled out a pair of black lace gloves.
them, and then wrapped her left hand around his arousal while her right went
between his legs. The lace would be
scratchy against his delicate skin, adding to the sensations he was seeking.
"Ohh…" he
moaned on contact. "How long…have you been planning this?" he asked
as he looked from her lingerie to the gloves.
"Oh, I'm a
veritable fount of ideas," she murmured, lowering her head to kiss his
tip.
Her mouth on the
tip of his arousal was like setting off a live wire throughout his body and
several things happened at once. First, he let out a mixture of a gasp and a
hiss at the sensation, second he tried to buck off of the bed but was kept down
by her, and third he gave a good yank at his restraints. They held fast.
"Steady,
lover." She threw him another
wicked glance before setting up a steady rhythm of hand and mouth.
With each joint movement of her hand and mouth, he felt himself draw nearer and
nearer to the edge. It would be a little while until he fell of that edge yet,
but god he was having a good time getting there. If only he could touch her.
"Fuck, I miss touching you already," he moaned.
length completely to relocate on his chest to tease his nipples while her mouth
took over south of the border.
His body was
buzzing with sensation and his breath was coming fast and hard around loud
moans. And still he pulled at the restraints. He kthatthat he couldn't get his
hands free simply by will alone, or at least he thought he, bu, but he found himself pulling at the straps
regardless.
Just let go already so the real games can begin.
teeth to ratchet up the tension.
As if he'd heard
her plea, Jeffrey couldn't hold up under the barrage of sensation any longer,
and he came fast and hard, arching up off the bed as much as he was able, but
to yell.
As her husband
recovered, Salida discretely wiped her face on a corner of the blanket, then
popped a piece of gum in her mouth. She
was determined to have fresh breath when she kissed him.
stretched out to lie down next to her husband, tugging off her gloves.
"Bring it
on," he murmured, letting his head fall back against the pillow and his
eyes drift shut in preparation for whatever she threw at him next. If it was
anything like what she had just done with him, he would be a very contented
little nymphomaniac.
"Well, lover,
I've been thinking about this for awhile.
Something tells me that if I say the word 'pain' while wearing this
little ensemble, I know exactly what is going to run through your mind...and I
refuse to go there. No.
battery and two pieces of wire.
Carefully, she wrapped the wire around the springs sticking up from the
battery. "Here's your science
lesson for the day. As long as I touch
both wires, I won't get shocked because I'm forming a circuit.
will."
Jeffrey nodded.
There wasn't much he could say to that. "Lesson learned."
"Should we try
it just to make sure I know what I'm doing?"
"Probably a
good idea," he murmured, his eyes fixed on her hands instead of her breasts
for a change.
Salida wrapped one
wire around her finger like a ring to make sure she didn't lose it, then gently
touched Jeffrey's bicep with it.
Jeffrey gasped a
little as his arm twitched under the flow of the current. It was like a shock
of static electricity, but somehow more…intense. It didn't really hurt all that
much, though. Just enough to send a sharp buzz through his arm that didn't
last.
"Like
that?" she asked.
"I don't know.
Too early to tell. It has potential though," he murmured.
"This kind of
potential?" She trailed the wire
down his skin from elbow to shoulder, minute breaks making it seem as if it
were a continuous surge of electricity running in a stream down his arm.
He moaned this
time, unable to stop himself. God, he loved it when she gave him pain and
pleasure combined. Seeing her look so earnest as she did so was arousing in and
of itself as well. "Yeah. That kind."
"And
this?" She ran the wire around and
around one of his small nipples, slowly at first but then faster and faster.
"Oh sweet
fuck," he groaned, arching up off the bed with wonderful spots of white
flashing before his eyes. It was as if the current had transformed his blood
into pure electricity and arousal, and it left him reeling from the sensation.
"Don't stop, vixen. Please."
"Oh, I'm
nowhere close to stopping," she murmured, switching to his other nipple.
It excited her to
sit and watch him writhe because of what she was doing to him.
respond without inhibition or reserve.
This was her husband, and this was the power she had over him.
Wickedly, she ran
the wire up his neck and throat. Along
his jaw. Around his ears.
wire went, and she found herself entranced.
Wherever her hand
moved, it now traced a path of fire across his skin, and he was more than happy
to let himself be consumed by it. The pain was intense and exquisite, and all
he wanted was more. More and more until he couldn't take it any longer and
exploded in sensation at her touch.
He could feel his
wrists beginning to hurt as he pulled at the restraints, but that was just one
voice in the choir of pain that he was currently experiencing. "Oh god, I
lo-love you, vixen," he managed to say. He loved that she would do these
things for him. To accept and give him the pain which he so craved in equal
doses with the pleasure.
"Is that
right?" Before he could answer, she
clamped her lips over his and started to kiss him passionately even as her hand
continued tracing a meandering path over his body.
He tried to kiss
her back, he really did, but with her hand still moving over him all he wanted
to do was to break away and moan or gasp or yell or all three. She wasn't
letting him. After a few long seconds, he accepted this and did his best to
kiss her back.
His kiss tasted
like surrender to her, and she ruthlessly pressed her advantage.
position where she could be so totally dominant, and she loved every minute of
the times she did. Like this.
into a quivering mass under her hands.
"Is this what
you see?" she demanded when she pulled away.
because you like to see me so lost to my lust?
So totally surrendered and dependent on you?"
"Yes. You're
really mine then," he responded after taking a moment to clear his
thoughts, his body already yearning for her touch again. "Please,
vixen."
"Please
what?"
"More,"
he moaned.
"More
what?" She was going to be as
ruthless as possible in this.
"Pain. Please.
Hurt me more. I'll do anything. Just…please," he moaned desperately,
banging his head against the pillow and still pulling at his restraints, which
actually made things worse, because the act brought him pain-his wrists were
probably rubbed raw by now despite the lining of the cuffs-but it wasn't nearly
enough.
Giving in, Salida
ran the wire down one leg, traced the arch of his right foot several times
before switching to the left and repeating the process.
His feet twitched
and his brain automatically tried to circumvent his desires and move them away
from the pain. Jeffrey just moved them back where they had been, murmuring
"More" and "Please" under his breath again and again.
Lovingly, she
trailed it up his leg, then spent several minutes torturing his navel before
tracing figure eights over his hips and abdomen.
her to go a bit lower, she touched the wire to the inside of his leg - just
above his knee - and proceeded to very slowly move upwards.
If Jeffrey could
have pulled the bed apart and therefore freed himself, he would have long ago. Every
vein stood out in his body as he strained to touch her and to be touched. His
back was now in a fixed arch over the bed, with his head and heels digging into
the mattress. He was mumbling…something, but he couldn't catch hold of a
coherent thought long enough to decipher what it was. The only thing he knew
was that her hand brought pain and pleasure, and that her hand
Before she could
reach the place he so desperately wanted her, Salida switched to his other leg
and made the same journey. Again she
stopped just short of the goal, and this time when she stopped, she stopped for
good. There was no point in allowing him
to come so soon. Especially when she had
her own needs.
When she stopped,
he let out a keening sound of a mixture of disbelief and desperation, his eyes
opening wide and locking onto hers. "Please. No-no-stopping. Can't stop
now. Oh god, don't do this to me. Don't stop. Please, vixen. Please."
"Yes.
We can't have you enjoying yourself so much without me, now can
we?"
"Yes we can.
Don't. Stop."
"No we
can't," she said firmly, setting the battery aside.
He moaned when she
did that and cursed more than a few times, yanking at his restraints with a
renewed vigor now. Have to get my fucking
arms free so I can strangle her. He thought darkly as rage began to tint
his roaring lust. "Why? Fuck. Why did you stop?"
"Because I'm
in control," she said in a chilly voice.
"And it is much too late for you to back out now.
want to. I think you can just sit there
for a minute and think about what possible reasons I could have for wanting my
hands free."
Jeffrey just
groaned in rage and extreme frustration, still testing the restraints.
"They're not
coming loose, Jeffrey. When you think
you've figured out what I want, tell me, and we'll see about starting
again."
Jeffrey growled at
her, but after a moment he forced himself to think. "Because you want to
touch me."
"Close, but
not quite it."
"Because you
want to touch yourself," he sneered.
"You know
what? I think I'm hungry.
some fun with food." She smiled
tightly, then left the room, pulling on her robe as she went out the door.
He let out a loud
yell of curses at her departure that she could no doubt hear out in the hall.
Hell, the neighborhood probably heard it.
"You're being
a brat," she called back.
"Come back and
fucking punish me then!"
"Nope!
were talking about the weather.
If he could have
torn the fucking room apart, he would have, but since that wasn't an option,
and the restraints still weren't fuckcomicoming loose, he laid back and shut
his eyes tightly and bit down on his bottom lip to keep his mouth shut almost
hard enough to bleed. Fuck her. The
fucking teasing bitch. He thought with another sneer. But he still loved
her, damn it. Despite everything, he still fucking loved her. "Fuck,"
he murmured under his breath. "What the fuck is she trying to do to
me?"
When Salida
returned, it was with a bottle of iced tea, the chocolate cake, and a can of
pressurized whipped cream. "Feeling
more agreeable?" she asked, setting her things down on the table.
He just grunted at
her, but it was a step up from a curse.
"Hungry?" she asked,
spraying a bit of whipped cream onto her jaw and leaning down.
He wanted to say no
and deny her what she wanted him to do on pure principle, but he couldn't. He
raised his head and licked up the line of whipped cream hungrily before nipping
at her jaw when he was finished.
The nip was
forceful enough for her to look at him with reproachful eyes, but she didn't
say anything other than, "You willing to play?"
"Maybe. Are
you going to stop again before I have too much fun?" he asked with a
slight scowl.
She laughed
softly. "Lover, we're doing this
because you admitted that you're a sex addict.
This was what I won. Are you
really going to begrudge me that?
Because if you are, then its no fun for either of us."
He thought about
it. "No. I'm not."
"Then I'm
willing to release one of your hands if you promise to leave the other be.
"Alright fine."
Salida let his left
arm go, not quite managing to get away before he'd wrapped it around her and
pulled her against him.
"You're right.
This is more fun," he murmured before kissing at her neck hungrily and rocking
against her center. His arousal had damped a little during the time she had
left him alone, but it hadn't gone away. Not by a fucking long shot.
She sighed and
pressed against him, her hands tangling in his hair.
rolling her head back and out of his way.
"Yeah, well so
am I," he said, although his eyes didn't stray to the food she had
brought. They stayed fixed on her.
"Feed
me," she whispered, moving until she could press a kiss against his ear.
Even he couldn't
sighed and grabbed a piece of cake in-between his fingers and offered it to
her. "Enjoy."
Her mouth accepted
it eagerly, her tongue darting out to wash his fingers of any chocolaty
residue.
Jeffrey let himself
enjoy the sensation of her sucking on his fingertips for a moment before
asking, "More?"
"Mmm-hmm." She opened
her mouth and leaned into him a bit more firmly.
He almost winced as
the sensation was too much and not enough at the same time, but didn't and
offered her another small piece of the cake.
This time she
kissed him afterwards, allowing him to discover how the chocolate tasted in her
mouth.
Jeffrey hummed in
satisfaction as he licked the lingering chocolate from her tongue and teeth,
kissing her deeply and doing his best to move even closer to her as best he
could with one hand restrained to the headboard. Once he was finished licking
and sucking every last bit of the sweet chocolate from his wife's esweesweeter
lips he tilted his head to the side and began kissing her neck as much as she
allowed.
Salida allowed him
as much as he wd tod to take. As much as
she liked having him at her mercy, she liked having him touch her even
more. '> Deep inside she knew she liked
being protected, held, dominated, and cherished by her husband.
dominating one from time to time, but she always missed his clever hands and
mouth. He was a determined lover, not so
much generous as he was stubborn. If he
wanted to see her come, he wouldn't let anything stop him.
"Release my
other hand, vixen," he murmured softly into her ear as he nibbled on the
lobe.
"No," she
sighed, tilting her head towards him.
"You'll take advantage of your helpless wife."
"Yeah, and?
I'm not seeing a downside here, vixen," her drawled, moving her head back
to where it had been so he continue sucking on her ear.
"You go too
fast." Her eyes fluttered shut as
she started running her nails lightly over his skin.
"Yeah, well
you go to slow," he murmured, nipping at her ear sharply before kissing at
it to take away the painful sting.
"But I want to
take my time."
"You
forget leaving me with a fucking aching hard on and wandering off to eat
cake?" he muttered as he nipped and kissed along her jaw line now.
"No, I took
your time. You've already gotten to come
once. And you're so eager that you won't
take your time this time."
"Touché,"
Jeffrey murmured. "Alright fine. I can be gracious. What would you like me
to do for you, beautiful sexy wife mine?"
"Just what
you're doing...and whatever - of that's nice - else you can do with one
hand."
"I can do
almost everything with one hand, vixen. Just not more than one thing at a time.
See, I could do this," he murmured as he moved his hand between their
bodies to finger her clit roughly, "but then I'm not able to do
this," he moved his hand back up to tease and pinch one of her nipples as
best he could through the leather bra she was wearing. "You can see my
dilemma."
Her breathing had
sped up considerably. "I-I
see." Forcing her eyes open, she
looked at him. "Promise you'll be
good and I'll let you go.&quop>
p>
"No promises.
It's not in my nature to be good. I promise to be sensually wicked if you let
me go, vixen," he said, licking a line of sweat off of her neck in a long,
languid movement.
"Promise not
to be selfish then, or no deal." It
was getting harder and harder to think clearly, and he'd barely done anything
to her yet.
"Never. I'm
tired of promises. Either let me go, or deal with my oh so limited attentions.
Maybe I'll decide to use my hand to give you more cake and not strive to arouse
you any more at all. I guess we'll have to wait and see how clever my hands
want to be."
"Sooner or
later you'll run out of cake," she murmured as she pulled away.
there and do nothing while expecting me to give you what you want?"
"Who said I was
going to do nothing, vixen? I didn't. And the cake's only one option. I'm
flexible."
"Tell me what
I want to hear, and you'll have even more."
"I
won't," he murmured, running his fingertips over her side light enough to
make her muscles twitch involuntarily at the sensation.
"You
will," she pressed, running her lips along his jaw in an open-mouthed
kiss.
"No, I
won't," he answered, moving his hand down to skim her bare thigh.
"If I raised
the stakes you would."
"Why would you
want to do that?" he tried to ask it casually, but his interest was piqued
as she knew it would be, damnit.
"Because I'm
going to have my way no matter what I have to do to get it."
"How devious
of you. You're so sure of yourself, vixen. Why?"
"Because we've
already confirmed that you're a sex addict, and that I'm devious.
"Yes, that's
true. But I'm also a stubborn son of a bitch who wants his hand free so that he
can ravish his wife properly. That and the fact that I'm still horny and hard
as hell, tends to put me in a rather determined
mood."
"Which is why
you have to promise not to be selfish," she concluded with a small,
self-confident smile.
"I can't
promise that. I won't," he vowed stubbornly.
"Then you
don't get a second hand."
"I could just
unbuckle it myself you know."
"If you'll do
it'll just put me in a bad mood. Do you
really want to deal with that right now?"
She lifted an eyebrow.
"Bad mood like
storm off in a fucking huff? Or bad mood like take it out on your
husband?"
"Bad mood like
a cold shoulder and frumpy clothes."
Jeffrey made a
disgusted face. "Fine. I won't unbuckle my fucking arm. Happy now?"
"Promise and
I'll let it go myself. And let you trade
places with me."
"What am I
promising again?" he asked with a slight sigh. He didn't want to give in,
but he liked the options presented.
"Not to be
selfish."
"Meaning…what,
exactly?"
"Once we've
traded places, you can't just fuck me senseless to satisfy yourself."
"But you'd
enjoy it too," he murmured with a small disappointed frown.
"I'd enjoy a
bit of actual foreplay better."
Jeffrey grumbled
under his breath about that particular topic and not letting it lead to other
things, but eventually nodded and spoke, albeit grudgingly. "I promise.
You'll get your fun."
She kissed him and
unbuckled his other hand, waiting for what he'd choose to do to her.
He immediately
rolled them over so that she was on the bottom but didn't move to restrain her
hands. He was feeling a bit bitter and used about the whole restraints thing
and a part of him wanted to retaliate against her for that, but the rest of him
wanted her hands to remain free and on him
so he moved to grab the neglected whipped cream instead.
"Any
preferences as to where, vixen?" he murmured tossing the can back and
forth between his hands absently as he asked. "This is supposed to be
more generous than you were earlier."
"I asked how
you wanted me to make you come," she defended herself.
fine."
Jeffrey snorted at
that. He was still more than a little annoyed with her for not giving him what
he'd wanted earlier with the electricity-even the thought of it made him shiver
in a mixture of present irritation and past pleasure-but he was trying to put
it past him. He sprayed a long line of whip cream from her neck to her navel
and immediately started licking it up, starting from the top and working his
way down slowly.
His tongue was hot
and wet, firm and teasing, soothing and maddening.
her breasts to lap up all the whipped cream he could reach, and arched as he
trailed down her abs. Without thinking,
she buried her hands in his hair and pulled him closer to her as she sighed and
murmured her pleasure.
When Jeffrey
reached he gently rounded stomach, he took his time kissing and licking every
last bit of the wonderful mixture of whipped cream and a taste that was purely
her that was ambrosia on his tongue. Not able to help himself, he nuzzled her
skin and pressed his cheeks and nose and forehead against it like a big cat,
only wanting to get closer to her and to become enveloped by her scent.
It was with
reluctance when he finally pulled away to reach under her as best as he could
and remove her bra without having his neck wrenched out of joint by her hands
grabbing at his hair. Once that was done, he sprayed an inverted triangle of
whipped cream across her breasts and ending in a point just above where the
thatch of hair between her legs began. He then set to work on divesting her of
it.
By the time Jeffrey
reached her belly button, Salida was moving restlessly.
clenching and unclenching as she murmured to him in nonsensical Spanish.
her as well as she set aside her needs to make him writhe and sweat for
her. Now he pushed her along towards
full-blown arousal faster than he normally did.
Jeffrey hummed in
satisfaction as he licked up the last bit of whipped cream from her skin and
looked up at her with lust-darkened eyes. "God, you fucking amaze me right
now, vixen. You're so incredibly sexy that I think that if watch you for too
much longer I'm going to fucking lose it." He leaned down to nip at one of
her nipples hard and was rewarded with another stream of murmured Spanish.
"And I love it when you're so far gone that you can't remember to speak in
English anymore. It makes me fucking hot," he growled before moving to the
dripping heat between her legs but forgoing the whipped cream this time. He
didn't want it nor need it. He simply wanted to taste her. Nothing else.
So intense were the sensations that she
actually tried to pull away, but Jeffrey caught her hips in his hands and held
her pinned down as he lapped away at her.
Jeffrey grinned
wolfishly at her reaction but didn't let it stop him. He knew by the wonderful
chorus of moans and cries she was making that she was reeling from the
sensations he was giving her, and that in turn made him feel heady with power.
She had been right to ask before about what he saw in her when she was so
dependant on him. He got off on the control she willingly surrendered to him.
He loved being able to manipulate his and her movements to bring her to such a
state as this. It was bliss. And fuck, as he slid his tongue slowly inside of
her, so was she.
His tongue inside
her was too much. With a hoarse cry she
came, shuddering hard as her thighs closed in around his head to hold him to
her. It felt as if her entire body
contracted and grew hot before it expanded outward, taking her sense with it.
enough to draw a minute amount of blood as she came, figuring she wouldn't mind
as much when confronted with everything else and missing the taste of her blood
and her arousal mixed together in an enticing cocktail that left him even
harder than he already was, which was saying something.
Reaching up to pry
her locked thighs apart before she could crush him any further, he took one
last suckling lick of her before letting the cut he had made close and stop
bleeding. He then pulled away and let his head drop to the mattress between her
legs, gasping for breath because he had forgotten to breathe through his nose
while he had been licking and kissing her.
Several moments
later, his wife relaxed back into the bed, panting slightly as she
recovered. A delicious post-coital haze
had overtaken her body, and she'd do anything for him right now.
went at it, she'd smile and nod. It
wouldn't last for long under those circumstances, but it'd take a minute for
her to realize how very wrong that would be.
"I want you to
finish what you started, vixen," he murmured into the bed still between
her legs, enjoying the scent of her arousal.
"I'm already
done," she murmured, not understanding what he wanted.
"No, I want
you to finish what you started with me. You shouldn't have stopped." He
lifted his head up off the bed and rested it on her leg to look at her.
"What did I
start?" she asked again, still not opening her eyes.
Jeffrey sighed.
"You, wires - me pain? Wickedly stopping before I could come? Ringing any
bells?"
"My ears are
ringing," she whispered, finally moving to close her spread legs.
this?"
Jeffrey sighed again.
"I guess not. But fuck, that wasn't fair."
"Not fair, not
fair," she pouted. "You always
say I play unfair."
"I do
not," he murmured, moving up next to her. His arousal was practically a
weight between his legs begging for attention, but for whatever reason, he was
showing uncharacteristic restraint in relieving it just yet.
"Yes.
her tongue darting out to taste the dried sweat on his skin.
"Not
always." He let his eyes drift half shut as he enjoyed the sensation of
her breath against his neck.
"Mmm-hmm.
"Alright. I
say you cheat. Sorry," he murmured, his hands moving out to simply touch
her. She was doing a good job of getting him to want pay his arousal the
attention it wanted.
"You're just
jealous," she murmured, using her hands to tilt his head back.
"What am I
jealous of exactly?" he murmured, letting her do what she liked. He was
feeling curiously like a poseable action figure at the moment. What had
happened to the control he had been getting off on? Where had it gone? After a
second's lazy contemplation, he decided he didn't really care as long as she
kept showing him the attention he wanted.
"That I can
make you come faster than you can make me come."
"What? No you
can't."
"Yes I
can," she murmured, not noticing the sharp tone her husband's voice had
taken.
"That's utter
bullshit," Jeffrey said with a frown. The lazy aroused feeling he had been
having faded away like smoke in a strong breeze, leaving mild irritation and
determination in its place.
"I suppose we
could time each other with a stop watch," she replied, rolling her eyes.
"Fuck that.
Why do you think I'm jealous? I'm not jealous, vixen. Why would I be? If
everything was as you always said it is, I'd be so selfish that I wouldn't have
it any other way," he murmured with a slight scowl.
"Hmm?" Salida finally
opened her eyes and pulled her mind away from exploring his skin.
"You haven't
been listening to a fucking word I've been saying, have you?" he asked in
a heated voice.
She blinked at him
several times. "I love you?"
"Oh, and
that's supposed to make everything fucking better, is it?" he asked in a
voice almost frightfully devoid of emotion.
"Apparently
not." She bit her lip.
I say?"
"Fucking
forget it. It apparently doesn't matter."
"No, it does
matter. I don't like upsetting you.
"You manage
pretty well in spite of all that, though, vixen," he said with a smile
that was anything but happy.
"Lover..." she said, starting to feel hurt herself.
"What?"
She just shook her
head and looked away.
The anger that had
been fueling him was suddenly kicked into overdrive and he practically threw
himself up off of the bed and on top of her. "Fine. You think I'm jealous?
Think you can make me fucking come faster than I can make you? Fucking count.
Starting now," he growled as he thrust deep into her in a manner that was
anything but gentle.
Her eyes widened in
shock and she pushed at his shoulders.
"What are you doing?" she gasped.
from her earlier release, but it wasn't completely comfortable either.
"Proving one
of us wrong," he growled, looking at her with eyes like chips of coal.
"You don't sound like you're fucking counting," he hissed, grabbing
her hands and moving them to her sides roughly as he continued to thrust into
her hard, their bodies crashing together with each thrust, a sneer on his face
as he did so that was definitely not filled with love.
"Jeffrey, stop
it," she said, trying to free her hands.
"not not going to count.
You're being ridiculous."
Feeling her trying
to free her hands only made him grip them even tighter. "I'm not joking,
vixen."
"Neither am
I." Her eyes were hard, although
inside she was feeling the first stirrings of fear.
"No," he
said firmly, beginning to grunt as he continued thrusting into her.
"Stop
it," she said louder, starting to struggle.
He blocked her plea
out as unimportant any longer, and stopped nothing, only holding tighter to
counter her struggles.
He was hurting her,
scaring her. She stared up into eyes
gone as black and stony as jet, and felt her heart constrict.
rise in her throat as hate appeared. She
hated him. Hated what he was doing.
"proved" his point. To that
end, she decided to fake it. Closing her
eyes, she turned her head away and bore down with her inner muscles, hissing as
the pain increased.
Since that was what
he had been waiting for with practically every fiber of his being, he didn't
question it. He didn't stop after though. His motivation simply shifted from
trying toe hee her come, to trying to make himself come as his arousal rode and
directed him to use her for his needs.
snapped. With a cry resembling that of a
trapped animal, she threw her head forward.
It smashed into his chin and he let her go in shock at her
violence. Using her feet and legs, she
practically threw him across the bed, then rolled out of it herself, making it
to a corner before she collapsed in a fit of nerves.
Jeffrey leaned over
the side of the bed and spit out wad of bloody saliva before moving up off the
bed and stalking towards her as best as he could around the throbbing length
between his legs. He was about to make her fucking pay for that, the little
bitch, before he saw her and his world just stopped.
"Oh..." he moaned, collapsing to his knees because he was too shocked
at what he had done to think to stand up straight any longer, and he
immediately huddled backwards against the bed, trying to put some distance
between her and what he had just done to her. Oh god oh fuck what have I done? No, no, I didn't do it. Wasn't me.
Couldn't have been. I would never. Oh god. I didn't mean to! What have I done?
He threw his face in his hands and bowed his head, not able to look at her any
longer.
Salida didn't
notice his approach and collapse at all.
She was too busy focusing on her breathing.
happen.
Shivering with
cold, she wrapped herself the best she could in the floor-length drapes and
started an inner mantra of, In...and
out. In...and out.
of her mind, nothing and no one else would take over.
out. In...and out.
While she was
focused on her breathing, he was focused on the eme eme wave of self loathing
that had washed over him. He couldn't believe he had done that that to her. It
wasn't getting through to him. In his mind, he couldn't have. Such a thing
simply was not possible. He would never had hurt her like that.
I stop? Oh god, oh fuck. No, no, no. I didn't! If he had had his gun or one
of his knives with him just then he would have used them on himself without
question or hesitation, and fuck the consequences. He deserved it. There was no
coming back from this. He had hurt her and…No
I didn't. Yes you did. It wasn't me!
Yes it was. I wouldn't have!
love her! I wouldn't have done this.
on her. And now she hates you too. You raped her.
back and forth violently in denial. He didn't do it. He couldn't have. Not him.
Not after everything. It was all a lie; a nightmare. He would wake up next to
her and they would love each other and not hate and everything would be fine.
He hadn't done it. This isn't a dream. This is real. You hurt her. Jeffrey wasn't
listening anymore. To anything.
Sands’ mouth was filled with blood.
state for him to be in, but it was unheard of him to suddenly be this way
without him being around to cause it. He
suddenly became very worried about what had been going on since he had been sleeping.
stark naked, with a slowly fading hard-on to boot.
as his jaw suddenly decided to scream at him since he was awake to feel it now
anyway. With a curse that only made it
hurt more, he scanned his eyes across the room and landed on what looked like a
very naked Salida trembling in the window curtains across the room.
me. What happened now?
there must be someone new in his place.
quivering mass of nerves from the looks of it.
Fuck.
He rose to his feet
slowly, pulling off the sheet from where it was bunched at the foot of the bed
and wrapping it around his waist in an attempt to show Salida a little courtesy
if nothing else before moving slowly towards her.
She'd heard him
coming, and had tried to block it out.
Her breathing sped up as she desperately tried to keep control.
inandout, inandout. His footsteps
were audible above the mantra though.
She heard his inquiry, but didn’t understand it; his words sounded like
so many jumbled sounds in her ears. The
only thing that eventually made her respond tha that Sands reached down to
lightly touch her shoulder.
“¡No !” she
shrieked. “¡No me toque!
shield herself, revealing the bracelet bru bruised skin around her wrists.
he took a good long look at her wrists that were quickly changing into a pair
of matching purple bruises even as he watched and took a big step back, utterly
shocked. “Jeffrey fucking did that?!”’
Sands hissed at her, not quite able to believe it.
anything it took to keep anyone from hurting his wife and yet she was here
telling him that he did this?
“Jeffrey’s not
here, sunrise. It’s me.
Jeffrey’s gone. He’s not going to
touch you again.”
Her arms lowered
enough for her to look at him distrustfully.
“Un truco,” she whispered. (
here.)
Sands searched for
Jeffrey’s presence and his eyes widened when he couldn’t find him.
does that mean? Is he really gone?
freaking out?
“¿Verdad?”
“Sí,” he murmured
with a ‘deer in the headlights’ look on his face.
“Él consiguió
enojado. Él me lastimó.”
“¿Por qué?”
“Lo hice
enojado. Debo haber hecholo
enojado. Mi avería.”
him mad. I must have made him mad.
“No es su
avería. Él le lastimó.
nor your fault. He hurt you.
“No.
Él prometió no lastimarme. Si él
, debe ser mi avería, porque él prometió.
Jeffrey no miente. No a mí.”
He promised not to hurt me. If he
did, it must be my fault, because he promised.
Jeffrey doesn’t lie. Not to me.)
“Cada uno miente,
Salida.” (Everyone lies.)
“Él guarda sus
promesas. Él guarda siempre sus
promesas. Él prometió no
lastimarme. Él .
Ésa es la única respuesta.”
I made him. That’ the only
answer.) Tears started to drip down
her face. “¿Qué hice?
(What did I do?
“No grite.
respuesta pero yo no puedo. No sé porqué
él hizo esto, pero usted no lo hizo.
Usted no podría tener y usted no tendría.” (Do not cry. I wish I could give
you an answer but I can’t. I don’t know
why he did this, but you didn’t make him.
You couldn’t have and you wouldn’t have.)
“Tiene que ser mi
avería,” she said with sudden calm.
él rompió una promesa, que los medios él no significaron cualesquiera de ellos,
que los medios él no me aman.”
broke a promise, which means he didn’t mean any of them, which means he doesn’t
love me.)
“e ame ama. Ésa es
la una cosa que sé sobre él. Eso no era
una mentira. Usted no puede falsificar
amor como eso. No es posible.
cerebro en el primerlugar. No sé.
entre usted dos. Creo eso.
loves you. That’s the one thing I do
know about him. That wasn’t a lie.
in the first place. I don’t know.
happened between you two. I believe
that. It was not your fault.)
“Sí,” she
insisted. “Sí.”
“No,” he said suddenly,
wanting to get her out of speaking the Spanish that she seemed to be using as a
security blanket or as a form of denial now.
“It wasn’t your fucking fault, sunrise.
I do not believe that you would goad him enough for him to do something
like this,” he gestured to her wrists, “to you.
No. He did it. It was
who hurt you. I don’t care if he was out
of his fucking mind when he did it, that doesn’t matter.
fault.” His jaw was really fucking
throbbing right now, and he could feel blood running down his chin as he spoke,
so he took a second to wipe it away with the back of his hand.
murmured, gesturing to his bloodied jaw.
It wasn’t broken – he didn’t think – but it wasn’t exactly feeling fine
either.
Salida didn’t hear
the last bit. She’d clapped her hands
over her ears and was murmuring, “No, no, no, no,” under her breath.
He didn’t understand. Jeffrey
couldn’t have done this. He
She whimpered as her mind forced the truth on her.
you. He was trying to hurt you.
“No,” she
moaned. “Él me ama.
He loved her. He didn’t.
“No,” she
whispered, breaking down in tears. “No.”
“I’m sorry,
Salida,” Sands said softly, not really knowing what else to say.
over to the table and grabbed the small box of Kleenexes that was on top of it
and offered her one. He couldn’t stand
to see women cry, even women who he didn’t particularly care for when push came
to shove. Don’t be an ass. Jeffrey just
fucking hurt her, and probably tried to fucking rape her if the state you woke
up in is any indication. And you don’t
think that she would have tried to give him a broken jaw if it wasn’t
absolutely necessary, do you? No, he
didn’t.
Salida ignored him,
seemingly withdrawing into herself.
Sands saw that and
moved to her side to stop her. “No!
and let the world pass you by just because your world was torn to shreds.
had done it himself more than a few times.
That made him a hypocrite, but not necessarily wrong.
“Don’t,” she
murmured, trying to brush him away. “I
have to remember. He wanted me to
count. I have to remember.
“He’s
with me, right now and not go away.”
“He will be.
I was wrong. What is the answer?”
“There are no
answers, Salida. Not after something
like this. And if and when he
going to be worried about some kind of fucking test he gave you.”
“You’re right.
So he didn’t. It was someone
else. It had to be someone else.
“There is no one
else, Salida,” Sands said gently, not wanting to dispel her delusions, but not
wanting her to fall into denial either.
“You.
Moving faster than she had any right to, she was across the room.
Jeffrey did it? He wouldn’t.
“Well
disbelief at what was happening. “
Salida. Not me.
He has before.”
“No.”
onto the bed, too exhausted to do anything more than faint at this point.
“Aw fuck.
her unconscious body. “Goddamnit,
reduced to a fucking counselor again.”
He moved to her side and shook her shoulder gently.
Wake up.”
Salida didn’t
stir. She just laid on the bed taking
deep, even breaths.
Sands couldn’t
handle this on his own. He needed
help. Without even bothering to get
dressed, he cinched the sheet tight around his waist and ran out the door and
down the hall to his and Aida’s room, looking for his wife.
Aida was sound asleep when Sands woke her with a rough shake
to her shoulder. She started awake.
with blurry eyes.
"Um,
help?" Sands asked with wide eyes, looking utterly confounded.
"Sunrise fainted. I don't know what to do."
Unless she was in a
tub of water and in danger of drowning, Aida didn't particularly care.
up. "What happened to your
chin?"
"I'm not
entirely sure. I haven't seen it. I think sunrise did it and it hurts like a
son of a bitch. You have to come. This is bad,
Aida. Really bad."
His wife was loathe
to get out of her nice, warm, comfortable bed.
"Is she in danger of drowning?"
"Uh,
metaphorically maybe. You're not listening to me. Jeffrey fucking hurt her,
Aida. I'm not really sure just what he did, and I can't ask him now because
he's gone gone, and I woke up and sunrise
was huddled against the wall and yelling at me-or Jeffrey-in Spanish not to
touch her. And I didn't and her wrists, god they're fucking black and blue,
Aida. You should see them. I think Jeffrey did it. He hurt her and she won't
believe it. She thinks I'm trying to trick her. Or that I did it. But I didn't!
I wasn't even there! She was telling me that I just wanted her to go away
before she fainted."
"Slow
down," she said, rubbing at her face.
"Let me get this straight: Salida is hurt.
her mind and decided you did."
"I don't know
what fucking happened," Sands said, beginning to pace across the room with
one hand holding the sheet around his waist tightly so he wouldn't trip over
it. It seemed as if couldn't manage to slow down his explanation of what
happened and remain still at the same time. "I just woke up, bloody mouth,
with Salida fucking freaking out across the room. She's in denial. She says
Jeffrey couldn't have done it, so someone else must have. Me. Jeffrey's gone.
Not here. I don't know where he went. There's no one else. But I didn't hurt
her. I wasn't even there."
"I believe
you," Aida said quietly, trying to calm him.
too."
Sands shook his
head as he paced. "No, she doesn't believe it. To her, Jeffrey couldn't
have hurt her because he loves her and he promised he never would or some
bullshit like that. That means that it must have been me. She thinks that I'm
trying to get fucking rid of her, Aida. But I wasn't! And now Jeffrey's gone
and I don't know what the fuck is going on."
"All
right. Just calm down.
give yourself vertigo."
He shook his head
again, still pacing. "Can't. Something bad is happening, Aida, and I don't
know what it is. How could Jeffrey just…disappear? It's like he never even
fucking existed, Aida. And I can't…I don't know what to do."
"Sands!"
she barked. "Sit down.
going to help. If you want answers,
you're going to have to find them."
Sands sat almost
immediately on the bed, as if he had been waiting for her order. "I'm not
brooding. I'm fucking freaked out, spitfire. And it's hard to get answers out
of two people, one who's unconscious and hysterical, and the other who's…I
don't know what he is."
"Then go
looking for him. If he can find someone
in your head, then you should be able to find him. I'll deal with Salida
if that's what you want."
Sands shook his
head. "Not now. I need to…settle things first. Otherwise things could get
worse."
"Alright.
a grip. Do you need me to help
you?"
"Need? No.
Want? Fuck yes."
"That's
okay. I'll stay.
be safe to leave her unsupervised for awhile."
way or another."
Sands nodded,
accepting this, but remaining silent as he tried to get a hold of sanity that
was being annoyingly slippery at the moment. He needed to take control of this
situation, and do it fast. He brought her hands and his to his chest and
pressed them against him, shutting his eyes and taking deep breaths. He was ok.
He could deal with this. "I'm alright, Aida."
"Are you
sure?" she asked quietly.
"You're still pale as a ghost."
"Oh, I'm sure
I am, but no, I'm ok under the circumstances. I think. Although it still
fucking hurts to talk." He moved a hand to his jaw and hissed in pain as
his fingers made contact. It felt like it was two times bigger than it should
be.
"I'll go get
you some ice," she offered, moving her hands to her shoulders as she used
him to help her up.
"I can get it.
It's no big deal," he murmured, trying as best he could to not open his
mouth to wide to talk. Although, the strain it took to keep his mouth that way
when he talked made it hurt even worse so it was pretty much a lose-lose
situation.
"No.
She pressed on his shoulders again, but this time to enforce her
command. "I'll get the ice.
you've got control. Or to get
dressed. It's up to you."
that she was wearing a pair of the pajamas he'd bought.
"They look
nice on you, spitfire. It would seem I have some taste for clothes that aren't
all one color after all," he murmured and gave her a small smile, not
caring how much it hurt. "And yeah, I should probably get dressed. I had
forgotten I wasn't there for awhile," he said almost sheepishly.
"I've got all the control I'm going to get right now, so you don't have to
worry about me." Yet. He didn't
know what would happen if he couldn't find Jeffrey. Would be normal again? No,
even without Jeffrey around he could hear the other voices. And they
seemed…louder. Were they louder? Or was he just noticing them more now that
Jeffrey wasn't a loud presence within his head? He didn't know.
"I'll be right
back," she promised, placing a small kiss on his forehead.
Sands took off the
sheet he had been using to cover himself and balled it up in pile across the
room. He would take it back to Salida and Jeffrey's room sooner or later.
Jeffrey isn't coming back. What then? He didn't know what he'd do then. It
was funny, he had thought about, even fantasized
about this day for as long as Jeffrey had been around, but now that it was
here…he didn't know what to think anymore. Such thoughts echoed through his
head as he gotssedssed quickly and took a seat on the bed. It was then, that
the voices started whispering louder, and his control began to slip. Not at lot
at first, but something bad was definitely happening.
When Aida returned,
she found her husband sitting on the bed, head in his hands.
really see - looked worse than it had when she left.
She walked across
the room quickly, setting the ice on the floor as she knelt in front of
him. "I'm here.
"I can hear
you, and no I'm not alright. Not at fucking all. I don't know, Aida.
Something's happening. Something…shifted. In here." He pressed the heels
of his hands to his forehead. "The others…Jeffrey's gone and I think they
want their turn."
"You can't let
them." As much as she hated to say
it, she had to. "You have to find
Jeffrey. He can't just leave.
that she is absolutely alone, and we don't know what she'll do.
you need him, if only to keep everything else at bay."
"I can't just
leave to go find him now. I can't. Someone else would take over and I don't…I
don't know them. I don't know what they would do."
"Then what can
we do to make it safe? You have to find
him as soon as you can."
"Sheldon. He
won't hurt you. I know him. I can make him come. I think…he's strong enough to hold
them off. He has to be. He's here and they're not."
"Alright, if
that's what you want to do." She
still looked worried.
"It's either
that, or tie me up. Just, it has to be one or the other. Maybe even both. I
don't…know." He pressed his hands to his head again and willed the others
to go away. "Soon. It has to be soon."
"Okay.
Sands tried, but
Sheldon was either in hiding or not able to get through the mob of others all
warring in Sands' head right now. "It's not working. You're going to have
to tie me up, Aida. I'm…not sure that there will be any need to, but after
bastard…"
"Alright.
I understand." Opening a
nearby drawer, she pulled out a pair of old leggings.
pinch. "This will work better if
your hands are behind you."
Sands nodded and
laid down on the bed on his stomach, trying not to wince when his chin pressed
up against the mattress and sent a bolt of pain though his head that was
intense enough to make him let out a short gasp involuntarily. He pressed
onwards and moved his hands to the small of his back and kept them there.
"Just make sure it's tight, spitfire."
"I
am." Tighter than she liked, but
tight enough to satisfy him. He needed
to go.
As she helped pull
him upright, she wrapped her arms around him and held him from behind.
I'll be right here waiting."
Sands went.
Sands had to press his
hands to his ears to block out the barrage of noise that immediately assaulted
him as he stepped within his own mind. Call it a bit of transcendental
meditation if you will, Sands didn't know what it was that he did that allowed
him to move within areseresentation of his own mind, maybe something to do with
his…unique mental state, he just
knew what to do and did it.
invisible and unsubstantial like ghosts in a fog. Well, most of them were
anyway. Some were stronger than others and those were the ones he needed to
worry about. But later. Now, he needed to find Jeffrey. The realization that he
needed Jeffrey much more than he thought he did, or wanted to, left him feeling
grim and more than a little depressed. It seemed as if he would never be how he
was before. Never normal. Maybe it
had been a pipe dream to ever think such a thing was even possible after
everything, but he couldn't help it, and the dream was dying a hard agonizing
death.
he walked the landscape of his mind, jumping a little as the ever shifting sky
of blacks, blues and greys shifting above him became scattered with lightning.
He thought to himself with a frown at the sky. He didn't bother trying to
change anything he saw though, he had a feeling that doing so would expend more
energy than he could afford to lose. It was time to stop dicking around and
find Jeffrey.
feeling Jeffrey wouldn't answer even if he heard. Instead, he tried to think of
the most likely place for him to be. In fact, he did more than that. He willed
it into being in front of him. It was his mind, after all, he could do what he
wanted, right? It certainly seemed that way for the moment when a cave appeared
before him, it's entrance dark and foreboding. "He couldn't have been just
sitting somewhere waiting for me to find him, could he? Oh no, that would be
too fucking simple.m gom going to wring that bastard's neck when I find
him," Sands muttered as he stepped into the cave.
he had thought it would be. He had simply gone to the very deepest, dankest and
darkest area of the cave and looked around. Sure enough, there Jeffrey-
huddled against the wall autifutifully not looking at Sands.
alone. I don't want you here. I just want to be where it's quiet. Maybe you'll
just forget about me one day and I'll be able to die. Wouldn't that be nice? An
easy fucking solution for all."
pissed at him. "Do you know what you've done? Do you have any
couldn't have, but I did. But it wasn't me, but there was no one else!"
Jeffrey argued with himself.
fucking problem. That's yours. Yours
to deal with when you come back."
god, I hurt her." Jeffrey wrapped his arms around himself and looked as if
he was trying to huddle himself into the cave wall.
you out of here myself, kicking and screaming. Do you know what it's like out
there since you've left? It's fucking chaos! I can't deal with that, Jeffrey. I
just can't."
yours. Not my problem. Not leaving."
over your "spot" nowt that they know you've left. They want control,
Jeffrey. All of them. And that can't happen. Do you want to know why?"
Jeffrey shook his head but Sands went on, not caring. "Because sooner or
later one of them will be like bastard was and he…or fuck, who knows? Maybe our
wives'll be fucking unlucky and my next personality will be a fucking woman.
Wouldn't that just be fucking hilarious?" he asked coldly. "But
sooner or later they will take over and try to finish what bastard started.
Aida will be dead. Salida will be
dead. Your children will be dead. Is
that what you really want? If so, then fuck, I'll just stay in here with you.
We can sit here and argue until I die."
vixen. Not to my children. No. You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't hurt them. I
would fucking kill you."
me. It wouldn't be me who does it. It would be one of them. One of the others
that you somehow manage to keep at bay when you're around. They will get free
and go after them. You know it as well as I do."
for a change and face up to what you've done. Save your wife and your
children."
this."
and together the two of them left the cave.
Aida jolted as Sands threw himself forward, gasping.
for some sign that it was her husband who'd just emerged.
"Come on,
Jeffrey, do your fucking job," Sands murmured under his breath upon
noticing that the voices were still warring with him.
Relaxing a little,
Aida simply laid her cheek against his back and held him, holding her breath
and hoping for the best.
"I…think it's
working. They're pissed off, and I'm sure they'll be giving me fucking grief
for a while about all of this, but I think I'm ok, Aida."
The breath she'd
been holding left her in a shudder, but she freed his hands.
to hold back tears caused by exhaustion and tension.
whispered.
"You and me
both, Aida," he murmured before wincing again as his jaw started to get
angry with him for not paying it any attention. "Uh, where'd you put that
ice?"
"On the
floor." Half distracted, she sat up
as if to get it, but was stopped by her husband.
"Are you
alright, Aida?" She looked about as good as he felt at the moment.
"I-I..." She just shook
her head and looked at him, unable to explain how it made her feel when things
like this happened.
Sands closed his
eyes and frowned sadly. "I'm so very sorry you have to deal with all of
this shit right now, Aida. I'm so sorry."
"It's not your
fault," she whispered.
"Whose fault
is it if it's not mine?"
"I should be
able to," he muttered
"And I should
be able to tell my body what I want it to do."
of ice - now partially melted but still cold - and gave it to him.
sometimes," she murmured.
"Life fucking
sucks sometimes," he muttered as he pressed the bag to his chin and jaw
with a wince.
"So it does."
He moved the bag of
ice away. "I'll come with you."
"Alright.
"Fine,"
he mumbled, moving the bag of ice back to his face and grabbing her hand.
Together they rose from the bed and made their way down to Jeffrey and Salida's
room.
When they reached
the room, Sands dropped back a little and let Aida go in first.
Salida was awake - she wasn't.
Looking around, Aida found the bedspread on the floor.
have been caught around someone when they left the bed.
unconscious woman after taking a brief moment to examine her wrists.
fingers, so Aida assumed that nothing was broken.
Salida's hair out of her face, calling to her softly.
Salida heard someone calling her name.
fear - in fact, it didn't even sound like a man.
of any that would care to talk to her, much less wake her up.
A small fire of
curiosity was lit as the voice kept calling her.
her eyes to tell whoever it was to go away, but she knew it was because she
felt alone. Horribly, terribly, painfully
alone.
When her eyes
opened she was surprised to find Aida there.
The other woman had no reason to be kind to her at all, yet her she was,
being gentle. That gentleness broke
something inside Salida as she started sobbing, moving so she could place her
head in Aida's lap.
Unsure of what to
do, Aida simply held the weeping woman as best she could, and looked to her
husband in amazement.
Sands was at a
loss. He had no idea what in hell to do when confronted with a situation like
this, and given the look on his wife's face as she held sunrise in her arms,
she didn't either. The only thing he could think of doing was to call forward
Jeffrey to go and comfort her, but he knew that that would be a very bad idea.
Instead, he told Jeffrey to watch and see what his cruelty had done to his
wife. It was time for the denial to end.
Jeffrey couldn't
deal with this. As soon as he saw his wife crying in kitty's lap he dropped to
his knees once more, the bag of ice falling out of a limp hand to the floor.
"Oh god I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I can't do this. Why are you doing this
to me? Why didn't you let me stay?" Jeffrey moaned to Sands, closing his
eyes so that he wouldn't have to see his sobbing wife.
Sands opened them
again and turned his gaze back to Salida. "Look at her.
"No, vixen I'm
sorry. Oh god I'm so fucking sorry. Kill me. Hate me. Leave me. Never love me
again. I deserve it for…for…what I did to you," Jeffrey's voice grew
distant as he sat back on his heels and stared at her. It was so much easier to
just let himself fade away again. He didn't have to deal with the emotions he
couldn't handle right now. They wouldn't be able to touch him here.
The moment she
heard his voice, Salida moved even closer to the comforting body holding her,
sobbing, "No. Por favor no.
No soy... hago que él va. Haga
que él va." (No. s'> Please no.
I'm not...make him go. Make him
go.)
Aida didn't
understand what Salida was saying, but she understood the cause.
craning her neck over her shoulder.
"You're not helping."
Jeffrey nodded
dully and rose to his feet and stumbled out of the room before Sands could stop
him or reclaim the icepack. He then stumbled downstairs and into the living
room where he took a seat on the couch. He would have kept on going through the
door and across the street in a straight line without stopping if Sands hadn't
redirected him to the couch.
"Just sit. And
don't go anywhere," Sands muttered as he leaned back against the couch and
closed his eyes.
Now that she had
Salida alone,a sea set about quieting her.
"It's alright. They
left. We're alone.
It's alright..."
For awhile, this
just made Salida cry harder since she was aware of just how badly she'd treated
Sands' wife. If she'd been feeling even
the tiniest bit less horrible, she might have pushed herself away, but the
comfort was too necessary for that.
It was a good ten
minutes before Salida stopped, her tears stopping sooner than her breathing
slowed. She felt hot and sticky.
Used.
Responsible.
She had pushed her
husband beyond his limits without realizing it.
If anyone knew how delicate his moods and state of mind could be, it was
her, and she hadn't been cautious enough.
her husband had been the one to treat her so violently.
could have been someone else. It could
have been Sands.
But it was
unlikely.
Silently and
without fuss, she allowed Aida to pull her to her feet, and she followed the
shorter woman into the bathroom without complaint.
other woman appeared to be totally shell-shocked.
running water into the bathtub. When it
was full, she made Salida get in.
The hot water made
each and every sore spot on her body ache, but Salida didn't make a sound.
together and bore the pain, knowing that it'd go away soon.
In the meantime,
Aida grabbed a sponge, and after soaking it in shower gel, handed it to Salida.
wash. As she realized what the sponge in
her hand was meant for, she started to scrub harder and harder, washing away
every trace of her ordeal. The water had
gone cold and her skin was nearly scrubbed raw before she gave up, dropping the
sponge into the water.
Aida let her,
knowing the ritual. She'd done it once
or twice herself after particularly bad breakups.
sake of clean skin. It helped to heal
the mind as well, helped put the bad experiences behind.
"Here,"
the redhead murmured, holding out a large towel.
Salida stood and
took it, rubbing at her skin even more.
Only when her skin started to look painfully chafed did Aida murmur a
protest against her actions.
She immediately
stopped, even that hint of a reprimand from someone who couldn't hurt her was
enough to send her trembling. "Lo
siento," she murmured, her eyes downcast.
"Lo siento."
"It's
alright." Aida wasn't going to
quibble over languages now. "Let's
get you into something soft and then into bed.
I bet you're tired."
"Sí."
The two women moved
into the other room, and Aida helped Salida climb into a pair of soft cotton
pants and an equally soft shirt.
it was time to get into bed, she balked.
"No. No con ésos
allí." No. Not with those there.
"What?"
Aida asked, feeling left out. "I'm
sorry. I don't understand Spanish."
Frustrated, Salida
leaned over and unclipped all four sets of restraints from the bed.
"Salida..."
them," she hissed, not wanting to talk about it any more.
"Alright.
Aida set them down in a chair and came back to help pull the blankets
up. "Just get some rest."
She was halfway
across the room before Salida asked in a soft voice, "A-Aida?"
Aida stopped and
turned back. "Yes?"
"Does he ever
hurt you?"
"Does who ever
hurt me? Sands?"
No. He doesn't.
Salida nodded again
in understanding, and closed her eyes against more tears.
mind shut down and Salida went to sleep.
After making sure
the other woman wasn't going to say anything, Aida retrieved her burden and
took it downstairs. There was a
burn-barrel in the backyard. She'd put
them there.
Sands didn't dare move from the couch. His jaw throbbed
painfully again, and he knew that he
could just go into the kitchen and get some more ice, but he stayed where he
was because of Jeffrey. At first, Jeffrey had tried to withdraw again, but now
everything had changed. Jeffrey's moods had turned violent and unpredictable,
ranging from highs of and anger and frustration and disbelief in what had
happened to lows of self loathing so thick and nearly overpowering that Sands
practically had to stop himself from giving into what Jeffrey wanted and going
to the kitchen not to get some ice for a his jaw, but a knife with which to
slit his wrists or throat.
"That's not
going to fucking happen so just get the idea out of your head," Sands said
firmly, looking up when Aida came down the stairs with something or other in
her hands but not speaking when she didn't seem to notice him and moved into
the kitchen to go outside apparently bse hse he heard the back door slam shut.
Jeffrey didn't
answer him, only proceeded to go through another couple ranges of emotions that
left Sands reeling.
When Aida came back
in, she was accompanied by an unpleasant burned odor.
into the living room and collapsed in an armchair.
closing her eyes.
Sands nodded, and
murmured, "It would be a hell of a lot easier if Jeffrey was too. He's
being a fucking coward." Jeffrey didn't respond to this.
"I think
she'll be fine. I can't be certain
because she spoke in Spanish the
entire time..." Aida sighed.
think she's starting to...adjust."
"I fucking
wish Jeffrey would. He's bouncing all over the place. It makes my head
hurt," he muttered. "What did she ask you? Does it have something to
do with whatever you did outside? You burned something?"
"The
restraints that were on the bed. She
wouldn't get into it until I promised to burn them."
Jeffrey went a
little still at that but didn't say a word and Sands felt his moods drop off to
the low end again and this time he almost did get up and grab a k.
&.
"Fucking stop thJeffJeffrey! I'm not going to let you do it!"
Jeffrey just kept
trying before settling back into stillness again.
"Do
what?" Aida asked wearily.
"Jeffrey seems
to have gotten the idea in his head that he'd rather kill himself
I'm dealing with it."
"You'd
better," she muttered. "If you
even think you can leave me alone with a pregnant Salida and not regret it when
I track you down and kick your ass, you'd better think again."
Jeffrey buried his
face in his hands at the word 'pregnant,' not apparently noticing or caring
about his hurt chin and jaw. "I didn't mean to hurt her," he
whimpered.
"I think she
knows that," Aida said, once again tired.
"She was just scared pretty badly.
And she doesn't quite seem...right."
"What?"
He looked up at her with wide eyes covered in a glaze of unshed tears.
"What do you mean? What's wrong? What did she say?"
"Nothing.
herself."
"Ohhh,"
Jeffrey moaned before letting his head fall back into his hands. "This is
all my fault. I didn't mean to. I don't even know what happened. I hurt her. Oh
god, I hurt her. I promised not to and I did it anyway." His voice wavered
with emotion.
Sands didn't know
what to say, but he knew Jeffrey had to deal with all of this or else he'd be
on fucking suicide watch for the rest of his life and that was not an option.
"You're going
to have to go talk to her, Jeffrey."
This quiet comment came from Aida.
"No, no I
can't. Can't face her. Not now. Not after. No."
"You can't
avoid her for the rest of your life. She
won't be able to take it. She's
lost."
"We're all of
us lost," Jeffrey moaned. "What do I say to her? She hates me. I
can't…I can't face that."
Sands had a few
comments to add to that, but he wisely decided snide remarks at this point
wouldn't be very helpful.
"She doesn't
hate you. In fact, she was waiting for
you to come see her."
"What? Why
would she do that?" his eyes were confused and just as lost as Salida's
had been.
"I don't
know. I don't speak Spanish."
"She said
something about you testing her," Sands spoke up suddenly before Jeffrey
could respond. "About how she was supposed to have been counting
something."
A light dawned in
front of Jeffrey as he understood what Salida was waiting for and he crumbled a
little bit more with an utterly bereft moan. "All my fault. This is all my
fault." He felt literally sick with guilt.
Sands had to take a
breath and do his best to reestablish the barrier that was normally up between
his and Jeffrey's emotions before Jeffrey dragged him under with him. It didn't
quite work, but he had to try at least.
"She's not
mad. Well, not angry.
is right now." Aida sighed and
wished she could go to sleep.
Sands saw how
exhausted his wife was and addressed Jeffrey. "Go see her. Now. I leave
you to work things out between you if you can."
"You'll leave
me alone?" Jeffrey asked with a confused frown.
"Only if you
promise not to kill us," Sands said firmly.
"I
promise." He would leave that duty to his wife. It was her right.
"Aida? Are you
going to be alright for awhile if I let Jeffrey do this?"
"I'm
fine," she murmured, forcing her eyes open to look at him while she gave
him a small smile. "Go on."
For a long moment,
Jeffrey didn't even move. It was as if he were fixed to the couch with his gaze
on the stairs looking upward to where he knew Salida would be. He fingered at
his sore jaw absently with a wince before rising to his feet and moving to
climb the stairs.
He made it all the
way to the doorway and saw her asleep on the bed that he didn't like because it
was suddenly different without the restraints, before he couldn't go any
further. "Salida?" he called out, that act alone taking pretty much
all the resolve he had left.
She stayed asleep,
barely stirring at the sound of her name.
He couldn't do
this. He couldn't just walk up to her and climb into bed next to her as if
nothing had happened, but he couldn't stay here either. With heavy feet he
shuffled into the bedroom and moved around to her side of the bed before
calling her again.
This time she
curled into a tighter ball, but she still didn't waken.
"Salida
please. Wake up. I'm so very sorry. I know that's not enough. Not nearly
enough. You can take anything you want from me. I don't care. It's all yours.
It always was. Kill me for what I did to you. For what I could do…again. Oh
god, I don't want to do this to you again, vixen. I didn't want to do it this
time! I don't know what happened I just…I'm sorry. No excuses. All my
fault." He took a seat where he stood, drawing up his knees to his chest
and hugging them while continuing to mutter apologies and self recriminations
with the occasional calling out of her name.
Salida woke slowly,
unsure if she was dreaming or truly awake.
The room was dark still because the curtains were pulled.
from behind her, but iundeunded so much different than...
Her mind shied away
from that topic, and she stiffened under the blankets.
Jeffrey had been
sitting there for a little while now, so his eyes were more adjusted to the
darkness. He saw her move and he began speaking in a wavering voice. "I'm
so, so sorry, Salida. I never meant…I didn't…I never meant to hurt you."
He gripped his knees tighter and began shaking his head back and forth slowly.
"But I did. I hurt you. You told me to stop and I didn't. I didn't listen.
I didn't want to. All I wanted was to…oh god. I wanted to hurt you. I didn't
care. Oh…what I did to you… Just kill me. Please. God, I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry." Tears had begun to run down his face sometime during all of this,
but he didn't notice them.
"Twenty-one,"
she whispered. "I think."
"Twenty-one
what?"
"Before I
cheated."
"It doesn't
matter. I don't care about that. It's pointless and trivial. I…shouldn't have
made you do that. Ridiculous. Like you said."
"I wanted...I
wanted it to.
pretended." She hunched her
shoulders as if expecting a punishment for the admission.
The self loathing
rose up again with a vengeance. "I don't blame you," he said
bitterly.
"It was
wrong," she whispered. "You
said to never -'"
"No, it was
right. It was what you needed to do to get fucking away from me. I wish it had
worked."
couldn't...but-but it happened."
Tears were stinging her eyelids again.
"I hurt you,
vixen. Me. It wasn't anyone else. There is no one else to blame. I did it. Your
husband who promised he would never ever hurt you. Looks like I was
wrong."
"No..."
she moaned. "No."
"Yes, it was
me. And you know what? I bet I even got off on it. Feeling you struggle. I like
being in control you know." His face was a mask of self hate now.
It hurt so much to
hear him say these things. He didn't
understand. They couldn't be true.
"Bastard is
gone, vixen. There's only me."
"Where did he
go? Had to go somewhere.
"It wasn't
him, vixen. He's gone. I would have noticed if he was around again. Sands would
have. And he would have killed you, not fucked you."
"Dust,"
she murmured, more to herself than him.
"Dust, poof, spread, sink.
All there. Lower concentration
all all there."
"I don't know
anymore, vixen," he said with a weary sigh. "Maybe it was bas. I
. I
don't know." He wanted to believe it hadn't been his fault. It was so much
easier that way.
"I tease.
He overreacts. Boom, boom,
boom. I hurt.
"I want to
believe that, vixen. God, I do. But… I don't know."
"Have
to," she whispered desperately.
"One lie equals all lies. No
love, no reason to stay.
"I'm still
sorry, vixen. I should have stopped." He leaned forward to press his
forehead against the edge of the mattress. "I'm so sorry."
"If it wasn't
you, it wasn't your fault. Tell me it
wasn't you."
Jeffrey hesitated,
damning himself if he was lying, but genuinely not knowing if he was or not.
"It wasn't me."
Her body relaxed then as she accepted his words and used
them bolster the wall against any fear, doubt, hate, or lack of control she was
feeling. Things had just gotten out of
hand. It wasn’t his fault.
happen, and while it was horrible, it wasn’t intentional.
"It shouldn't
have happened, vixen," he murmured. "I should have known. I'm
sorry."
"Not your
fault," she reminded him, relief more than evident in her voice.
to be comforted.
But Jeffrey wasn't
ready to give it. Not when he still had so many doubts and fears running
through his mind. It was one thing to let her believe that it hadn't been him
who had hurt her, and while it even might have been the truth, he didn't fully
believe it himself. "Then whose fault was it?" he muttered more to
himself than to her.
"Jeffrey,"
she whispered, once again made uncertain by his hesitation.
yours."
"Alright,"
he said with a sigh and a slow nod. It was unclear whether he was responding to
the fact that it didn't matter whose fault it was or that it wasn't his.
"You have to
believe that," she continued.
"If you can't, I can't."
"I…want to
believe it. I'm trying, vixen. I'm sorry."
"No more
sorries," Salida told him. "We
both did things wrong."
Jeffrey shook his
head slowly, still hugging his knees and sitting on the floor at her side.
"You did nothing wrong."
"I
pushed. I pushed and teased for too
long. I should know better."
Jeffrey shook his
head again. "You did nothing I wouldn't have done to you had our positions
been reversed. You like to tease. So . Th. There's nothing wrong with
that."
"But I can put
up with it better than you can."
"Yeah," he
agreed softly. "But that's not your fault either."
"I know.
ignored the signs that you were getting upset."
"I shouldn't
have gotten upset in the first place," he muttered.
"You can't
help it."
"I should be
able to."
"You can't do
everything, Jeffrey. It's enough for you
to be with me. Even if things like this
happen now...now and again." It was
hard to say because she didn't like being hurt and scared, but it was the
truth.
"No. I don't
accept that. I don't want things like this to happen now and again. I don't want them to happen again
Whether I was control or not doesn't matter. I hurt you. My hands grabbing at
you, my body…forcing yours. That can't happen again. It just can't." He
hugged himself tighter.
"Then it
won't. Just please, stop talking like
that," she begged.
"Please."<
<
He heard the
pleading in her voice and his head dropped to his knees so that he was no
longer looking at her. He couldn't
look at her. "Even now I'm still hurting you."
"Only because
I love you."
"What?"
he looked up at her with pain and confusion filled eyes. "What do you
mean?"
"I love you so
when you doubt yourself, it hurts me."
"I…don't know
what to say," he murmured. He was at a dilemma. He wanted nothing more
than to never hurt his wife again, and yet the self-doubt she claimed hurt her
wouldn't go away so easily.
"Say you love
me."
"I love
you."
"Then come
hold me."
Jeffrey hesitated
for a long while, looking up at her and not letting go of his knees as he
considered. "Are you…sure you want me to?" he asked at long last.
"Yes."
she thought he'd deer ter that.
"Just holding."
Jeffrey hesitated
again, almost afraid that he would somehow manage to hurt her again once they
were in contact, but let go of his knees and stood, slowly walking around to
the other side of the bed and laying down next to her. He reached out a
tentative hand to take her into his arms, but as soon as his fingers made
contact he couldn'op hop himself from drawing her in as tight as he could
without suffocating her. He buried his face in her neck and began to tremble as
he told her how sorry he was over and over again and how he loved her more than
anything; more than everything.
Salida stayed
silent as she listened. He wouldn't hear
any assurances she tried to give anyway.
At first hesitating, she managed to wrap her arms around him, relieve
that at least her colorful wrists were out of sight.
After a long
moment, he seemed to have either run out of breath with which to make
apologies, or the energy to do so, and simply held her, unconsciously nuzzling
her neck in a need to be affectionate or closer to her, probably a mixture of
both.
She swallowed hard
and closed her eyes, but didn't tense up.
This was what she had wanted. It
was undemanding physical contact. There
was no good reason for her to change her mind now.
calm her.
Jeffrey didn't say
a word and didn't seem to notice her hesitation either. He just continued
moving against her neck and taking a moment every now and again to take a deep
breath in of the scent of her hair. He needed to reassure himself that she was
here and ok before he could do anything to help her.
As she forced
herself to take deep, even breaths, Salida told herself, This is fine. This is safe.
automatically erase the memory of having a loving act turned against her.
that didn't change the past.
Jeffrey heard the
effort she was taking and moved away to look at her, his eyes sad once more.
"You're afraid of me. You think I'm going to hurt you again." They
weren't questions. He tried to move away from her.
"Don't.
retreat. "Please don't leave
me. pan>pan>There's nothing for me to be scared
of. Not now.
"Then why do
you sound as if you're hyperventilating," he asked softly, but let her
hold him in place without trying to pull away further.
She shook her head
and refused to give an answer.
"That's not
very reassuring, Salida," he said almost too soft to hear. "Not that
you have any reason to be. You don't. Not now. Not to me. Forget I said
anything."
"Not
now," she agreed, trying to pull him back.
"Not scared now."
"Yeah, well
what if I am? What then?" he muttered with more than a trace of
bitterness, gently refusing to move in closer yet.
His questions made
her let him go. "I'm sorry."
sorry? Don't be. You've got nothing to be sorry about, vixen."
"I don't want
to pressure you." The memories of
what had happened last time were still as vivid as her bruises.
"You're not
pressuring me, alright? I just…Never mind." He sighed a little and laid
his head down on the bed, looking over at her with an unreadable look on his
face.
Salida didn't know
what to do, so she simply stayed where she was and gazed back at him, sighing a
little.
It was a long while
before Jeffrey spoke again. "I'm scared because I think I'll end up hurting
you again, Salida," he admitted in a voice so soft that she had to lean
forward a little to hear it.
"You
won't," she whispered back.
"You promised."
"Yeah…I
promised," he murmured. "Like I promised before."
"No.
"You'd accept
my promise now? After…everything?"
"Yes.
nothing was broken. Give me one
now."
"What do you
want me to promise? I'll promise whatever you want me to."
"Don't let
this happen again," she whispered, her hands reaching for him but falling
short. "Please."
"I
promise," he said softly, his eyes locked on the matching circlets of
purple bruising around each wrist.
She relaxed a
little, and gave him a small, trembling smile.
"Thank you."
"You're
welcome," he murmured, still looking at her wrists. Seeing the bruising
just reminded him of his still swollen chin that he hadn't let Sands take care
of, but he ignored it as unimportant when confronted with what he had done to
her.
When she saw what
his eyes were locked on, she drew her hands back and hid them.
"You don't
look fine. If you were fine, then why did you hide your hands from me?" he
asked softly.
"They upset
you."
"They should
upset me, vixen. You're hurt. When you're hurt, I get upset."
except yourself. Salida stayed
silent and kept her hands out of sight.
Jeffrey sighed, the
feeling of depression that was hovering over him like a fucking rain cloud
getting a little bigger when she didn'ow how him her hands. It was his fault
that she was hurt. He had grabbed her wrists without even thinking about what
he was doing. He just held her tightly and didn't let go. Her bruised wrists,
and his swollen chin too probably, only served to act as reminders of what had
happened. And he didn't need any more reminders right now.
"Jeffrey...please...don't
look so sad."
"Sorry,"
he murmured. "I'll try to stop." He wasn't making very good progress.
"Hold me
again?"
"Alright."
He moved to take her in his arms, resting his aching chin on her shoulder while
wrapping one arm under her and around her waist and the other around her
shoulder with his hand pressing gently against the back of her head. He closed
his eyes and tried to believe that everything would be alright again. It almost
worked.