Jenny Jones
folder
Star Wars (All) › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
1,422
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Star Wars (All) › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
1,422
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Star Wars movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Episode Vacation
A/N: *singsong* I got reviews, I got reviews!! YAY!!! Thanks to everyone! On to the. . .is this really a show? Or is it more of a fic? Or is it insanity? Or maybe even just. . .What? What’s that? Oh. Oh, sorry.
Announcer Dude: Do you have a ghost problem? Do you need to get rid of that ghost problem? Well, who ya gonna call? That’s right! Ghostbusters! They’re back in town and ready for action! So just call 1-888-800-GHOSTBUSTERS.
Lessa: Right. Sure. AFTER my ghost problem is fixed. *drooling* Not that I have any problems with the solution. . .
Sirius: Hi!
Harry: WTF?
Lessa: *smacks forehead* Harry, don’t ever say that again!
Harry: Dude, I thought you were dead!
Sirius: *shrugs* Pays to be the author’s favorite character!
Lessa: Damn right! *wearing I Heart Sirius shirt and Sirius Lives! hat* Why’d he have to die?!?!
Atticus: Yo, Harry. Shouldn’t you be with Ron?
Ron: Nope. All better. I DID find someone else!
All: Who?
(Blushing ensues)
Lessa: Never mind. I really don’t wanna know.
McGonagall: THERE you two are!
Ron and Harry: *gulp*
McGonagall: You are in so much trouble! *grr*
Atticus: Ooh. . Pretty lady!
McGongall: What? Me? Really?
Atticus: I never lie!
Lessa: *snorts* Yeah right.
Atticus: Don’t you DARE screw this up!
McGonagall: Oh, well then!
(Flirting ensues)
Pippin: YAY!! *waving midget lightsaber* I got it!! Lookit, Merry, isn’t it cool?
Merry: *trying not to laugh* Pip, is that PURPLE?
Pippin: Yep!
Merry: Are you a girl?
Pippin: No. . .
Merry: Are you gay?
Pippin: No. . .
Merry: Then your glow rod shouldn’t be PURPLE!!! That means gay or girl!!!
Mace Windu: Hey! My lightsaber’s purple!
Merry: Uh-huh. You’re gay.
Yoda: Saw I did how you looked at Qui-Gon.
(silence, not even the crickets dare chirp)
Mace Windu: DAMMIT!!!
Pippin: *crestfallen* No wonder the guy on the phone was snickering!
Lessa: Hey! I’m gonna kill him! Only I can snicker!
Pippin: I’ll go exchange it. . . *trudges off-stage*
Lessa: Riiiight.
Obi-Wan: Hey, shouldn’t there be, I don’t know, guests and a host or something?
Lessa: Nope. This is our day off. This is the day we have random chatter and inane hook-ups. Wait. It’s the other way around. Random hook-ups and inane chatter. That’s what I meant. Yeah. I think. Maybe.
(enter an orchestra of crickets)
Logan: Yeah. Whatever. *grabs a beer*
Lessa: HEY!!! There is no alcohol on my fic!
Logan: U-huh. Sure. That’s why you’re so drunk you can’t even talk right.
Lessa: Ohh. . .I get it! Maybe. I think. Yeah.
Logan: Aren’t you too young to be drinking?
Lessa: . . . Shut up.
QGG: *falls in, gets up, brushes self off* That was interesting. I still don’t get what an exorcist is, but. . .
Lessa: *jaw drop* What the hell? You’re supposed to be gone! Never back! AHH!!!
QGG: *puffing out chest* I’m a Force specter. As long as the Force exists, you can’t get rid of me.
Atticus: He’s like the cat who came back the next day.
Mace Windu: What the hell?
Atticus: Nevermind. . .
Lessa: *grabber sledge hammer* Okay, where’s this Force thingie I gotta destroy?
QGG: *snort* You can’t destroy it with a HAMMER.
Lessa: Oh yeah? This is the Author’s Mighty Sledge Hammer of DOOM. I got it from Mordor for twenty bucks and it can kill ANYTHING!
Obi-Wan: *sigh* Lessa, you’re drunk, so I’ll put this to you simply. If you kill the Force, you kill EVERYTHING, including Sirius and your new boyfriend.
Lessa: Oh. Damn. *pouts* Can I kill Qui-Gon-Ghost?
Obi-Wan: Be my guest!
QGG: What the hell? I thought you. . .
Lessa: Yeah, that was before I told him about all the nasty thoughts you had about him!
Obi-Wan: Okay, what now?
Lessa: *thinks, which hurts her* I didn’t tell you? Oh, well, Qui-Gon-Ghost, even when alive, thought bad thoughts about you. Like THOSE kind. Yeah.
Obi-Wan: That’s so wrong. I think I’m gonna throw up!
QGG: It isn’t THAT bad! I’m a reasonably. . .HEY!!! Damn. . .
Obi-Wan: Ah-HA! So she’s NOT lying.
QGG: Ah, um, of course she is!
Constantine: *entering* What the hell? Didn’t I get rid of you already?
QGG: Uh. . .no.
Constantine: I swear, Lu has NO love for me. That’s it, this bastard’s outta here, for good!
Lessa: Nuh-uh, honey. He’s a Jedi ghost, so unless you kill the Force you can’t make him go away. If you kill the Force, you kill EVERYTHING.
Constantine: Oh. Dammit! Lu really DOES have no love!
Atticus: Lu?
Constantine: Lucifer. The Devil.
Atticus: *confused* I thought that was Lessa?
Constantine: No.
Lessa: Wanna make out?
Constantine: Uh, no. You’re drunk. That’s rape.
Lessa: *cries* I get no love!
Atticus: Sorry, Less. C’mon, Minerva.
Ron: That’s just wrong.
Sirius: Tell me about it. She’s like, five times his age!
Ron: Hear about Hermione and Snape?
Sirius: *shudder* No accounting for taste, really.
Pippin: Ha-HA!!! I have it! My new glow stick is NOT purple!
Yoda: A lightsaber it is, young one. Much to learn you still have.
Merry: So what color is it, Pip?
Pippin: PINK!!
Announcer Dude: Do you have a ghost problem? Do you need to get rid of that ghost problem? Well, who ya gonna call? That’s right! Ghostbusters! They’re back in town and ready for action! So just call 1-888-800-GHOSTBUSTERS.
Lessa: Right. Sure. AFTER my ghost problem is fixed. *drooling* Not that I have any problems with the solution. . .
Sirius: Hi!
Harry: WTF?
Lessa: *smacks forehead* Harry, don’t ever say that again!
Harry: Dude, I thought you were dead!
Sirius: *shrugs* Pays to be the author’s favorite character!
Lessa: Damn right! *wearing I Heart Sirius shirt and Sirius Lives! hat* Why’d he have to die?!?!
Atticus: Yo, Harry. Shouldn’t you be with Ron?
Ron: Nope. All better. I DID find someone else!
All: Who?
(Blushing ensues)
Lessa: Never mind. I really don’t wanna know.
McGonagall: THERE you two are!
Ron and Harry: *gulp*
McGonagall: You are in so much trouble! *grr*
Atticus: Ooh. . Pretty lady!
McGongall: What? Me? Really?
Atticus: I never lie!
Lessa: *snorts* Yeah right.
Atticus: Don’t you DARE screw this up!
McGonagall: Oh, well then!
(Flirting ensues)
Pippin: YAY!! *waving midget lightsaber* I got it!! Lookit, Merry, isn’t it cool?
Merry: *trying not to laugh* Pip, is that PURPLE?
Pippin: Yep!
Merry: Are you a girl?
Pippin: No. . .
Merry: Are you gay?
Pippin: No. . .
Merry: Then your glow rod shouldn’t be PURPLE!!! That means gay or girl!!!
Mace Windu: Hey! My lightsaber’s purple!
Merry: Uh-huh. You’re gay.
Yoda: Saw I did how you looked at Qui-Gon.
(silence, not even the crickets dare chirp)
Mace Windu: DAMMIT!!!
Pippin: *crestfallen* No wonder the guy on the phone was snickering!
Lessa: Hey! I’m gonna kill him! Only I can snicker!
Pippin: I’ll go exchange it. . . *trudges off-stage*
Lessa: Riiiight.
Obi-Wan: Hey, shouldn’t there be, I don’t know, guests and a host or something?
Lessa: Nope. This is our day off. This is the day we have random chatter and inane hook-ups. Wait. It’s the other way around. Random hook-ups and inane chatter. That’s what I meant. Yeah. I think. Maybe.
(enter an orchestra of crickets)
Logan: Yeah. Whatever. *grabs a beer*
Lessa: HEY!!! There is no alcohol on my fic!
Logan: U-huh. Sure. That’s why you’re so drunk you can’t even talk right.
Lessa: Ohh. . .I get it! Maybe. I think. Yeah.
Logan: Aren’t you too young to be drinking?
Lessa: . . . Shut up.
QGG: *falls in, gets up, brushes self off* That was interesting. I still don’t get what an exorcist is, but. . .
Lessa: *jaw drop* What the hell? You’re supposed to be gone! Never back! AHH!!!
QGG: *puffing out chest* I’m a Force specter. As long as the Force exists, you can’t get rid of me.
Atticus: He’s like the cat who came back the next day.
Mace Windu: What the hell?
Atticus: Nevermind. . .
Lessa: *grabber sledge hammer* Okay, where’s this Force thingie I gotta destroy?
QGG: *snort* You can’t destroy it with a HAMMER.
Lessa: Oh yeah? This is the Author’s Mighty Sledge Hammer of DOOM. I got it from Mordor for twenty bucks and it can kill ANYTHING!
Obi-Wan: *sigh* Lessa, you’re drunk, so I’ll put this to you simply. If you kill the Force, you kill EVERYTHING, including Sirius and your new boyfriend.
Lessa: Oh. Damn. *pouts* Can I kill Qui-Gon-Ghost?
Obi-Wan: Be my guest!
QGG: What the hell? I thought you. . .
Lessa: Yeah, that was before I told him about all the nasty thoughts you had about him!
Obi-Wan: Okay, what now?
Lessa: *thinks, which hurts her* I didn’t tell you? Oh, well, Qui-Gon-Ghost, even when alive, thought bad thoughts about you. Like THOSE kind. Yeah.
Obi-Wan: That’s so wrong. I think I’m gonna throw up!
QGG: It isn’t THAT bad! I’m a reasonably. . .HEY!!! Damn. . .
Obi-Wan: Ah-HA! So she’s NOT lying.
QGG: Ah, um, of course she is!
Constantine: *entering* What the hell? Didn’t I get rid of you already?
QGG: Uh. . .no.
Constantine: I swear, Lu has NO love for me. That’s it, this bastard’s outta here, for good!
Lessa: Nuh-uh, honey. He’s a Jedi ghost, so unless you kill the Force you can’t make him go away. If you kill the Force, you kill EVERYTHING.
Constantine: Oh. Dammit! Lu really DOES have no love!
Atticus: Lu?
Constantine: Lucifer. The Devil.
Atticus: *confused* I thought that was Lessa?
Constantine: No.
Lessa: Wanna make out?
Constantine: Uh, no. You’re drunk. That’s rape.
Lessa: *cries* I get no love!
Atticus: Sorry, Less. C’mon, Minerva.
Ron: That’s just wrong.
Sirius: Tell me about it. She’s like, five times his age!
Ron: Hear about Hermione and Snape?
Sirius: *shudder* No accounting for taste, really.
Pippin: Ha-HA!!! I have it! My new glow stick is NOT purple!
Yoda: A lightsaber it is, young one. Much to learn you still have.
Merry: So what color is it, Pip?
Pippin: PINK!!