I Never Knew

“Anakin.” Padme absentmindedly whispered as she sat up in bed, startled awake by another dream about her husband.

“Padme?” a man’s voice questioned from beside her on the bed. “It’s alright, just a dream. Go back to sleep.” The man tried to snake his arm up around her waist and pull her back down onto the bed. “No, I must go, he will wonder where I am.”, she said as she halfheartedly dragged herself up out of the warm blankets.

Padme leaned over the handsome man and planted a quick kiss on his cheek before looking for her clothes. From across the room she caught sight of her bare body in the mirror. She paused for a moment before gently placing her hand on her slightly rounded belly.

“Anakin,”, she whispered again, and began to gather her things.

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Anakin sat in Padme’s dark, empty apartment. Oddly enough he hadn’t been surprised to find her gone when he’d arrived. He sensed that she would return soon, and decided it would be best to wait for her. They needed to talk.

He was actually glad for the silence and the solitude. It gave him time to think about all that had happened this evening. He could barely contain the smile that crossed his lips. Lips that were still swollen and bruised from the hungry mouth that had covered his own with fierce kisses. He could still taste him, still feel him, still hear him moaning his name. Even now it sent electricity through his body; the thought of having made his Master feel that way was simply delicious.

Yes, this had turned out to be quite the evening. He had been expecting something to happen. He knew that it had been time to confront Obi-Wan, what with all the sulking and storming off that he had been doing, but he had never expected this. Not that he minded of course, no, not at all. He had just expected to tease Obi-Wan a bit, maybe let on that he knew Obi -Wan was jealous, and maybe to finally come clean about Padme.

Once he had looked into those eyes, however, he had known there would be no turning back. Those soulful green blue eyes told him everything he’d always wanted to hear from this man that he loved. In them he had seen all of the love, and all of the guilt. He’d seen all of the desire and all of the uncertainty, and the loneliness. That had gotten to Anakin above everything else. If only he’d known, he would have been showering him with all of the affection he could muster. He never would have wasted his time with Padme. He would have held on to Obi-Wan tightly, deep into the night, when the loneliness felt its coldest. Anakin would have held him like he had done earlier this evening.

Lost in thought, this time it was Anakin who did not sense the physical presence entering the room. “Anakin?” Padme questioned, clearly startled that he was sitting in the darkness of her apartment, seemingly lurking in the shadows. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you, of course”, he replied, not letting on that he’d been startled by her.

“I didn’t expect you for, well… it’s just that you usually, umm…, why are you here so early?” she stammered. “You usually wait for Obi-Wan to fall asleep before you return.”

“Yes, but I figured that you would be here, sleeping, and that it would be alright to come to you earlier than usual. I see that I was wrong. Tell me, Padme, where were you? Were you with him?”

Padme was clearly taken aback at this series of questions. How could he know?

“I can smell him all over you, that is how I know.”

Oh how she hated it when he read her thoughts like that!

“I sense something else, what is it you aren’t telling me?” He asked as he walked closer to where she was standing. Her back was to him now, and he saw her tense up at the question. “Padme?” He asked again as he put his hand on her shoulder.

Suddenly she did not feel so good, the room had started to spin and she felt nauseated. She couldn’t see anything, everything was dark and Padme began to panic. She was going to faint. She fell back and into Anakin’s arms and he carried her over to the bed to gently lay her down. He was a bit panic stricken himself. In reality she was only out for seconds, but in her dreamlike state it felt like forever.

She had another dream.

Anakin was happy in this dream, happier than she ever remembered seeing him. He was kneeling and holding another person in his strong embrace. This was a familiar person, yes, but she could not see the face, his face. This was the dream from earlier, the dream that had awoken her in Bail’s bed only a short while ago. In her dream Anakin tilted the man’s head up and kissed him. He spoke words of love to this man. She saw his face. The man was Obi-Wan. With this revelation she began to come to, the image still fresh in her mind. Her first coherent thought to was that Anakin had found his destiny; she had always known that it would lie with Obi-Wan, that their lives had become intertwined the day that Qui-Gon had died. She certainly couldn’t tell him about the baby now.

“Padme, are you alright? You scared me for a minute there.” Anakin said as he realized she was coming to.

“Yes, I am alright, I’m just not feeling well.” she replied. “Well, let me get you a nurse droid or something”, Anakin said starting for his comlink.

“No, Anakin, I am fine. Just stay here and hold me for a minute, will you? Stay here and hold me before it all changes, before I admit that I was with Bail and before…”

“Before what, Padme? Please, finish, let’s not do this now that we are finally being honest with each other…, before what?” Anakin begged of her.

“Anakin, tell me about you and Obi-Wan.”