The Diary of Frederick Charles Krueger

Finally I got this chapter finished! After working on it for 2 days and a total of 10 hours. I'm ready to have a rest and a good ciggarette. THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC MATERIAL AND IS NOT FOR SENSITIVE EYES. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.



Ok..this is where I'm going to start breaking Freddy apart ** Sinister laugh** I'm wanting to try a different genre. I've thought about Harry Potter with Professor Snape and also I thought of Hannibal. I am still going to have the same dark essence when I write so it won't be a marry-me-i-can't-live-without-you one-shot story. If you can think of any idea, please message me or just leave with your review. I'm open to ideas of books or movies. Without further a due...



August 1963



Diary, I don't know how long I can keep myself from these inner urges that flow within my veins. The voices talk about Jamie all the time. I can't keep myself from thinking them and then follow relieving myself trying to rid of the bad inside. Loretta is a little bit fishy as to why I'm so cheery around her. I keep saying it's because she's a beautiful woman or the most loving wife and man could ever have. I do love her very much but she does not fuel my desire. Yes we've made love, if that's what everyone else calls it, but I don't feel satisfied. I've seen her back arch when every thrust but it's not always her I think of. Given it's been only a few months since we've been married but I can't keep picturing Jamie's frail face clouding my wife's own. Her blonde hair thrown about her shoulders and pillow and her opening her mouth, letting panted breaths escape along with stiffled moans. I want her so much that I have to close my eyes tight to try and evade the evil. It only lures me in like a fish on a line. I have to have my eyes closed when I'm near my end. I would just trust harder and fast and then hear a small scream, it fuels the speed. I go faster until I climax into oblivion, hearing myself groan with pleasure and then succumb under the rapid beating of my heart. I open my eyes to find my wife screaming from the pain, crying. She always keeps asking "why didn't you stop when I said your name? Why did you go faster? Why were your eyes closed?" It's happening too often when we make love. Given it's only been a few months since we've said our vows, but it's not becoming apparent to Loretta that something in my mind is overshadowing her when we are eloped in the sheets of our own bed. It's not that I do not try to keep her in my head. She is after all a beautiful woman. I am attracted to her. But I find myself sometimes asking her to dress a little different, part her hair different, almost like dressing a child. Pig tails, overalls, skirts and colorful blouses. But even that doesn't suffice the constant urge I feel within. When Loretta is not home I peer out of my window and watch Jamie and her friends, draw with chalk on the sidewalk or play tag in the neighboring yards. I find myself disappearing into the darkness and this other void comes through. I don't know how to describe it, but it's like me when I was 15 or 16, full of hurt and hate towards everyone. When I see this little girl, I find myself feeling those inner urges surface. My posture is different and everything. I'm so frightened by the way I sound. It's raspier, breathless words when I open my mouth. I kind of hunch over when I walk, like I'm being hunch down by the weight of what I carry everyday in my mind.



If you have thought throughlly last time, you wouldn't have the build up of so many things. You are so weak, Fred. Without us, I think you would have fallen to your death at the factory from the catwalk. You are so pathetic that you say you want to cure youself, but you let the urges feed on you and that which us makes us talk, scream at you for you to hurry the fuck up! Quit ignoring us and listen!



The voices talk to me every night before I go to bed, patronizing me about Jamie, who I should go see her or try to get her to come over. Sometimes I think they are winning when I find myself in the house and then out on the porch the next. It's like blacking out but yet you realized what you are doing. I guess…



If you actually obeyed then we wouldn't sit there and let you think of Jamie everytime you closed your eyes, seeing images of her young pure body playing in the rain as it touched her arms her legs her cheeks. Damn, even the rain has gone to 3rd base with her and yet all you do is piddle in your fucking pants. What a pussy! A small minded freak that has so many secrets, that even his God would never forgive and would rather see him boil in a pit of acid.



(sighs)



Loretta is still working at the diner unfortunately. She tried to see about getting and office job but they said that they were full. I remember her crying as she was explaining she was not trying to put all of the responsibility of having to make money on me.. I told her that if it's God's way of telling her that she should be at home, and then listen to Him. Only He knows the truth of what is to come and what betters our lives. Another dark part of me wants to yell at her for not trying hard enough to peruse something greater. It's like she lacks integreity (oh, that word). She seems rather lazy at times, wanting me to everything from cooking to cleaning. I get real annoyed at her and I just want to last out at her. I feel like taking care of Underwood again. Watching her sitting on her ass watching mind-numbing television, I keep picturing Underwood in his dark baseball cap and that bottle of whiskey, splashing in the bottle when he would take quick swigs of it. I want to slap her, tell her that she needs to stop and be more productive, but I can't. I even want to scream at myself to get over these heartless thoughts and images, rid of the beast that slumbers within and awakens when I least expect it. I don't know what I'm going to do. I have so many conflictions in my head that it's enough for a madman to go sane. The voices, the urges of sexual pleasure; I know that I'm a shrink's favorite patient. If only I did go to sessions.



The fucking shrink would rather see you dead then you give away your secrets as away to better yourself. His medicines and science cannot touch your demented mind. Not without us hanging about. With out us Fred, you are nothing. A measly boy who still dreams of little girls with wet panties, no tits and wacks in the bathroom, trying to imagine how it feels on the inside. You will never change, Fred. You will always suffer...until that one day you give in.



October 1965.



Well...I just found out that we are expecting one of our own now. I just found out that Loretta is pregnant, three weeks to be exact. I didn't know whether to shit or go blind. I'm terrified yet I'm excited. I fear for the child because if these thoughts run in my head, they will in his/hers. I pray and hope to God that it never happens. After several years of trying, we finally are successful with the rapture of the Lord who gave a gift of life to us. Given it's only been a short few days since we found out from our doctor, but it fills me with such anticipation, waiting for he/she/it to come into this world. When we were in the exam room, the doctor came back and just stared at us for a brief second. We really were concerned since Loretta couldn't keep anything down or even hold a simple converstaion without her turning to bitch in .5 seconds. After debating over the fact we finally agreed we should go see the doctor.



"Well Mrs. Krueger I got some news for you. We ran a few tests and found that what you were experiencing wasn't necesarily the flu or anything bug-wise. You are 3 weeks pregnant. Given with how long you are, I would say you will be due sometime around May."



Holy shit. This is going to be interesting.



My mind went into a total blur. My thoughts were jarbled and the voices were, for once, silenced. Everything around me went into a slow motion time warp. The doctors jestures were fluid as I saw the tears in Loretta's eyes begin to fall in big drops, leaving trails of wet lines down her sunken cheeks. I tried to catch up but with everytime I tried I felt myself drifting further away, whether it's from the movements or the voices faded or warped even more.



This is going to throw everything off. With the expectations of a child in your reach, you are going to need to being to be quiet about your urges



"What the hell have I been doing for several years?"



You have only silenced them for a brief period of time. Soon it will be too much to bear. You need to listen to us, Fred. This time we need your full attention.



"I don't know"



Fred, we have been with your since the beginning. If you do not listen to us, we will drive you insane with the perverse images and thoughts to where you will either end up in a padded room, or with a gunshot wound in the back of your skull. Which do you choose, listen, or die. Either way we will carry on to another and hopefully they will be more compliant with us.



"What do I need to do?"



Listen.



I began to listen to them tell me what I should do to control urges, the missing link in my life.



"FRED! Are you ok?"



Somehow while the voices talked I must have passed out because I found myself on the cold lineoleum floor. The doctor had something waving in front of my nose, wafting the odor as I came around.



Loretta told me with the news of our unborn child, I fainted when I heard how long it would be until he/she/it would be here. I really don't remember anything about how long it would be here since I was talking with my inner minions, or should it be more companions. While driving home with Loretta asleep in the passenger seat, I still tried to comprehend what was told me in into the simplest form. With time comes many things we do not always understand.



I've realized through constant struggles of myself and these voices, I know that the only peace within me could only be attained through acting in these urges; these thoughts. And I couldn't be any calmer. I gave into them. I listed to them and I like what they had to say. Honestly, through all these years I would yell at them to stop yet I never took the time to listen. Now, I understand completly when they talk to me. I feel their emotions, the manifistations which they come to life when I let them take over.



You will be ok, Fred. Just breathe and let the inner you come through. You will thank me later. Just play it by ear and see where it goes. If you feel that it's not going to work, it's ok we will work on another child.



I found Jamie again one afternoon playing with her friends. She was a little older now. Around 10 I think. She was taller of course and her feet were ever growing from the new shoes I would see on her feet every week. She was starting to develop and I saw how she would become a beautiful, ripe woman. I watched her and tried to figure out a specific plan of how to lure her so I can finally have her in my reach. I did approach her and asked her if she would like to come over to my house and play with some new dolls I got. I told her that God was going to give me a daughter soon and that I needed to see if these dolls would be pretty enough for her to play with. Without hesitation, she agreed. I thought that children would be of curious beings, but Jamie stood out from all the rest. I couldn't help but feel the smirk I haven't given in 10 years fall on my face again. I walked her across the street, holding her delicate hand gently in my coarse fingers. I walked her up my porch into my doorway.



Now, she was finally mine.



I told her that the toys were upstairs. I remember her smiling at the thought she got to play with new toys. The toys I kept mentioning her to play with were with her all this time. We reached the top of the stairwell and she ran into the spare bedroom, where I did lay a few dolls. Their clothes were tattered a little bit but still were able to be played without falling apart upon touch. Her eyes lit up as she saw the dolls on the bed. She ran up and climbed onto the mattress. I got to see a glance of her panties as she climbed the bed.



My heart pounded. My underwear was tightening with every second that she sat there.



I joined her, playing with the dolls, roll playing adventures saving the day. I wanted her so bad, right there I didn't give a fuck less as to playing a game with some stupid dolls.



Don't let it take over you. Overcome the urge. Deep Breaths.



The lion stalks his prey, cautiously. Fred, don't make it seem to forced. Be curious.



"Jamie, do you want to play a game?" I asked her.



"Yes"



She said yes! Think of something clever!



"This game is called the 'funny mirror' game. What we do is that we pretend we are the dolls and then we act out with the dolls. Whatever the dolls do we do. Ok?"



"Ok." I was finally nearing my goal. The voices were so quiet, patiently waiting.



I grabbed the little boy doll and she grabbed the girl doll. I put it's plush hand out and told her to shake hands. She did and then we acted out. She smelled like soap and grass, yet a small hint of sweat.



We went back and forth for a while, acting out like we were having tea, giving hugs, acting like dogs and cats. It was all child's play and I began to get annoyed. I didn't want to continue a mirage of what I wanted. I waited too fucking long to just play itty bitty pretend games. Finally I sat there and used my doll's hand to grab himself. I moved his hand slowly up and down. I stopped and then began to move my dick in my jeans, up and down. She cocked her head to the side and then she grabbed her doll's hand and touch the crotch. She then started to rub herself. My aching manhood responded immediately, with a flush of blood rushing through the tissue. I grabbed my dolls hand and rubbed on her dolls crotch. She opened her legs wide because of my big hands. She looked scared as she saw my hand reaching toward her.



"It's ok, Jamie. It will be our little secret. No one will know. I won't tell anyone, will you?" I asked her, childishly.



Lead her on to believe you. Establish the trust. Then it will be only time.



"I won't tell, Freddy. I won't tell." She said and I felt my fingers reach her folds. I gasped and felt the tickle inside my stomach. I then pulled at her panty line and slipped my finger into her warm core. She was so tiny. She kept grunting because of the discomfort, but I kept telling her, the more we do it, the better it gets. I rubbed her from all parts from inside. She was sticky and wet. What was rather interesting to me as my pants felt tighter, she began to get wetter. I smelled her core and enloped in the sweet smells of her juices. I couldn't stop. I soon saw her hands begin to fumble toward my jeans, my buttons, my zipper. I tilted my pelvis up to give her full access. She unzipped my pants and manuvered hand onto my manhood. God, she felt so good. She moved her hand up and down my shaft and I fought so hard to not moan. My hands soon found her opening and I forced my index finger into her core, feeling the muscles tighten and loosen around my fingers and knuckles. I laughted sinfully in my head and I knew then my mind was clear. Justified. I pumped my fingers in and out of her and she stiffled moans that to my amazement only made me go soft.



Will you look at that? She moaned and you didn't feel anything. I wonder if just her breathing will get you going. Introducing the new and improved Fred.



"Shhh, Jamie...if anything, I just want to hear your breathing."



She's all yours now.



She nodded and I contined to go faster...feeling her juices gather on my fingers. Her breathing became rapid then panic.



"Let it go, Jamie. Give into those urges."



Almost there...



I felt her walls collaspe around my fingers and her eyes went in the back of her head. I myself couldn't contain the intense pressure as she tried to rub vigerously away. I soon the felt the warming sensation as I grunted and felt myself relieve all the pinned up pain and years of everlasting desires. She removed her hands from within my jeans and looked at the sticky liquid that covered her hands.



Finally...



"Don't worry, Jamie. That's good for you. It means that the game we played was a very good one."



She smiled at me and pulled her panties back over herself. I removed my hand and saw the blood underneath my fingernails. I broke her hyman. I broke her innocence.



Mission Accomplished...



After I walked her back over to her front yard, I asked her when she would want to play again. She was a little quiet about it so I told her that it was ok to talk to me. What we did will never have to be told to anyone. I told her we should do it again next week. She nodded and adjusted herself, I would imagine from the discomfort she felt, it was new to her so as she kept touching herself; she felt to know that it will get better. I walked back to my porch and sat on the steps. After what seemed an eternity I felt more centered, more human.



Less human, but more tapped into your inner self.



December 1965



This is going to be one of the worse 9 mos. in my entire adult life. I am about to throw Loretta down the stairs and just let her suffer. But with that little child growing in her, I do not go forward with the thought. Every fucking second it's "Fred will you do this, Fred will you do that" I've about had it with the constant nagging she has. She eats everything in the house, I'm suprised she doesn't find the wood panneling appealing, or the cotton in the couch resembling anything like mashed potatoes.



Fred, do it...end the suffering. The constant nagging, the ever ending errands and chores that her lazy ass will not do anymore. She's not even that big in the first place but she will use every fucking minute to make hers more pleasant while yours is ever more miserable.



They are right. I've almost got the chance to do so but for some odd reason I stopped myself. I thought about putting Arsonic or Cynanide in her oatmeal or her never ending potato chip cravings. But every time I get the chance to grab some poison, I think about that little thing in her belly. It's a part of me too. I wouldn't want this child to be brought up in this world without a parent, whether it's mother or father missing. Loretta did bring up if I should name the child after my mother if it's a girl. I have a feeling it's going to be a girl of how Loretta is acting. Bitchy and everything. Wanting this, needing that. Girls always want or need something. If they can't have it, they pitch a fit and bitch. Screaming, crying, whining. It's enough to make me throw up with such annoyance. But I suck it up and deal with it for that child in her belly. If it turns out just like Loretta, I know there was some type joke or curse played on me. I can't handle two Lorettas.



You name that child Amanda I will make sure that you and her suffer for the time your hearts still beat.



I don't know why these voices have such a nasty tone to when my mother's name is brought up.



That fucking whore tore you away from the world and with that you shouldn't be crying or waiting to see her in heaven. You need to have this ever growing anger towards her. She lead you to where you grew up, listeing to Underwood thrash a belt on your back, fonding you when he had too much to drink and the constant name calling, the singing of that filthy song. Why do you find that she is never the reason why you are the way you are?



I do find myself now listening to these voices every so much now. They keep on pointing out rather true facts within my childhood and my adult life. Why would my mother abandon me if she was so self-righteous? Why would I have to be given to a man who was never a father figure or even a ligimiate human being? Why would she not take me? Why would she forsake me? At time I have to stop myself from asking these questions because part of me doesn't hate my mother. That part of me yearns for her comfort, her solice. You know, at times that part seems to dwindle and the anger does show through. It feels that the yearing is now being wilted away with anger and hurt.



In due time, Freddy we will begin to see your true colors show through.



Jamie on the other hand is amazing. I invite her over when Loretta has appointments with the doctor or goes to visit her mother. She comes over and plays with me and then she lets me invade her secret parts. Every time is liberating and exhilerating, like I'm a child again. I imagine at night still rubbing her, her clit, labia and inner muscles of her core. I manipulate my hand to demonstrate what I do inside. The thought and the look of my hand outside still turns me on. I've played with her developing nipples and suckled as she tugged on my manhood. Her grip is tighter and stronger when we meet up. Everytime.



She's so sweet...she tastes so sweet. MMM.



I still keep it concealed from Loretta and Jamie still keeps her mouth shut. Luckily that little girl listens to what she's told. When we do meet up and we go up into the spare bedroom. I just invade her core, she moans quietly as I let her discover more pleasures, more emotions as I give her glances when she matures. I want to be inside of her. I want to feel her walls collapse around me and I want to fill her with me, so that I'm always with her. I want to ravage her clit with my tongue, taste the sweet and tart of her core when she releases her juices. I'm so close.



so...close



I'm starting to like the sensation of feeling in control. It's like being a king and you rule over everyone and what ever you say, goes. Whether they like it or not. They do it. Jamie is mine, as I am her King. She will never forget that. I am her King, I'm the one she will worship. Wait, that's more than a king. Ones who let me do as I please, worship me and come to me at every beckoning call?



That's not a King...that's a God.



We like the sound of that...



Read and Review Please! This chapter turned out to be a little longer than all of my other ones...which is pretty good for me at least.