A past that never is

I struggled to free myself from the twin grasp of Strafe and Jade.

“Guys come on, you don’t want the Hammer to leave without me, do you?” I asked, trying to keep a straight face, but not really doing a good job of it.

“Yes we do.” Jade said. She stared up at me with wide eyes, her lip trembling slightly. I crouched down in front of her.

“Aww, Jade come on don’t cry. I’ll be back again in a few weeks, and I’ll spend time with you then.” I said. She shook her head.

“But you said that you were going to be here for a few days. You promised.” She cried.

“I know what I said, Jade, but sometimes things change that you have no control over and I didn’t promise.” I said.

“Are you going to leave us like daddy did?” She whispered, I hugged her.

“Not if I can help it. Have I ever lied to you before?” She shook her head; no.

“See? Now you guys look after each other and mom, okay?” Strafe finally let my legs go, and struck a heroic pose, he was not even five yet and already he was unconsciously thinking that he was the ‘man’ of the family. Like some forgotten hero out of an old movie, I grabbed up my bag and headed out the door. Roland stood waiting for me outside, he shifter his bag to his other shoulder and pulled me against his side as we moved down the walkway.

“We’ll be back in a few weeks.” He said.

“I know, it’s just that well...Jade seems to think that I’m going to die like Dozer. I tried telling her I wasn’t going to, but I don’t think she believed me.” I said.

“Hmm...I do believe she just might like; one might even say that she loves you.” His eyes glinted with laughter. I punched him lightly in the arm, I jerked forward breaking his grip as someone slammed into me from behind.

“Oops, sorry, Shifter.” AK’s said.

“No, problem.” I said. He handed a disc to Roland.

“Here it is, Captain.”

“What’s that?” I asked curiously.

“Another hacker that we’re going to remove from the Matrix. Her name is Reactor, she’s fifteen and she seems to know something about the world she thinks is real.” AK replied.

“Is she any good?”

“Not really, but she does know a lot more than she seems to let on, about the Matrix I mean.” We had finally reached the landing platform where the Hammer was docked. Mauser and Colt were loading a few last items on board. Roland let AK move away from us but he held me back.

“I’ve been thinking. Do you mind if they know about us?” He asked quietly, making sure no one could overhear our conversation.

“Nope, if I had my way the whole of the fleet would know.” I grinned up at him.

“Me to.” He said.

“I’ll just go and put this in your room, then go help AK.” I said. He went over to speak to Colt and Mauser.

“Our room.” He corrected. He went over to speak to Colt and Mauser. I rolled my eyes and walked off, after dropping my bag of in ‘our’ room I headed for the main deck.

“Besides it’s not like I have any choice, AK already knows about us.” I laughed at the look on his face. He rolled his eyes and grimaced.

“I should have known.” He chuckled quietly. Then he went over to talk to Mauser and Colt, I went on into the ship and after dropping my bag off in Rolands room; I suppose I should start thinking of it as our room now, after which I joined AK on the main deck. We still had a lot of work to do if we were going to get Reactor out it would probably mean a good number of trips into the Matrix for some of the crew, which meant that we had to make sure everything was working perfectly before they went in. AK looked up as I came in, holding out one of the headsets for me.

“So, I see you and our captain have finally decided not to hide it.” He said. I grabbed the headset and put it around my neck.

“That depends on what you mean by ‘hiding it’.” I said. He shook his head and let out a mock groan.

“You know what I mean. Do I have to spell it out?”

“Spell what out?” Maggie had just entered; Colt and Mauser just behind her. AK grinned mischievously; I just shook my head and continued checking the chairs.

“Captain Roland and Shifter.” He said, in an almost singsong tone. There was a long silence.

“AK! Captain Roland and Shifter what?” Maggie finally said in exasperation.

“Is everyone on this ship dense?” AK asked of no one in particular.

“They - Roland and Shifter are together.” The last word was drawn out so that there was no mistaking his meaning. Three heads swivelled to stare at me and I blushed under their scrutinising stares.

“I wonder how many ways I can kill a person and which ones the most painful?” I said to myself. Then turned a raised eyebrow on AK, he just smiled back and shrugged his shoulders as if he was not guilty. I knew they were going to find out, I just didn’t think that it would have been this soon.

“Yeah, but I don’t know any of the details, I’d surely like to know if they did the deed or not.” AK turned to me questioningly. Suddenly everyone else started looking busy.

“Oh, and what exactly is ‘the deed’, AK?” I asked innocently.

“Yes, please, AK. Explain to us all what you mean by ‘the deed’.” Roland said, from behind AK. AK closed his eyes briefly, then swung the chair around to face his captain. Mauser and Colt made a quick escape and I joined Maggie on the other side of the deck, helping to pack the emergency first-aid kit here.

“Nice one.” She whispered. I grinned at her. We could still hear the conversation; or rather the lecture that Roland was giving to AK.

“I don’t care what reasons you have, AK, what a person does in their own time is their business, not yours. Do you understand me?” Roland snapped, although not loud enough that his voice would carry very far. We couldn’t hear AK’s response.

“Good. This better not happen again.” He had barely left when Maggie and I collapsed in laughter. AK glared at us.

“You knew he was there.” He accused. I stood up gasping for air, but still grinning.

“Of course I did and it was fun to.” I said.

“You walked me right into that.” He said.

“No, AK your mouth walked you into that.”

“I know, I know don’t rub it in.” AK started working on one of the other chairs, he glanced up as I came in.

“Can you go down to the store and get another one of these?” He held up a small device that he had taken from one of the chairs. I nodded and headed back down the ladder again. The store was kept dark and although it had lights I was only going to be here for a moment so I brought a torch with me instead to find what I was looking for. When I finally found it and was ready to go back up again I heard a noise behind me, spinning around so fast I almost tripped.

“Oh, thank you very much, Drakis. A heart attack is just what I always wanted.” I said sarcastically.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was just hoping that...well, AK doesn’t need that for a while yet, we could have a little fun, just you and me.” He said. He gave me a grin that I didn’t like.

“Can’t, you know what AK’s like, if I don’t get this to him he’ll have my head.” I said.

“Yeah, right. AK would probably just come down here to get it himself if you didn’t come back straightaway. But we can be done before he does that, right?” He started moving closer to me. I hurried to the door, but Drakis moved faster than me, catching my arm.

“Aww come on, a little fun never hurt anyone. You might even enjoy it.” He said. Grinning down at me, he pulled me back. I jerked out from under his hand and ran for the door.

“Get back here!” He snarled. I tripped trying to get away from him and the torch went bouncing out of my hand, casting eerie shadows throughout the storeroom. I couldn’t make it to my feet fast enough before he was on me, dragging me up by the arm.

“Dammit! Everyone thinks there too good for me. Well they’re wrong, all of them!” He growled. Shit, I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this one, I turned my head slightly towards the door.

“AK!” I yelled. Drakis smashed me with his fist and I went down.

“Shut up, you bitch. Now we can either do this the easy way or the hard way, doesn’t matter if you don’t want it, I’ll still do what I want with you.” He smashed me again in the mouth and I spat blood.

“Get up!” He yelled angrily, kicking me in the stomach a few times. Grabbing me by my hair and yanking me to my feet.

“I will get what I want.” His voice was low and dangerous. I drew back my foot and kicked him as hard as I could in the shin, he yelped in pain and I stumbled away from him, but my equilibrium was way off and about all I managed was to go in a circle, before he grabbed me again

“I thought you would be reasonable about this, but apparently I was wrong. I have a better plan, I think I’ll just kill you instead” I felt his fingers tighten around my throat, and I started to claw at his hands, trying to loosen his grip. He squeezed tighter.

“Got it, captain. I’ll be right up as soon as I put this in here.” Colt’s voice came through the door. He pushed against it from the other side and moving backwards he dragged something into the room. My vision started turning black, Colt eventually turned around. For a moment he stood frozen, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. The he launched himself at Drakis and yanked his hands away from my throat; I fell to the floor, gasping for air for a few minutes before I passed out, I think. I woke up to find Colt bending over me, in my fear I skittered away from him, like some kind of frightened animal.

“It’s okay. He’s gone.” Colt said. His words didn’t seem to penetrate my mind and I jumped when a voice spoke from the doorway.

“Colt, what are you doing. The captain wants you in the cockpit now.” Maggie spoke from behind him. Then she saw me, sitting on the floor.

“What the hell happened in here?” She asked incredulously.

“Drakis. He attacked her then I came in and caught him he ran off.” Colt replied. Maggie came over and sat on the floor next to me.

“You’d better tell the captain. I’ll get her to the infirmary.” She said. Colt nodded and hurried off; Maggie turned back to me.

“You okay to walk?” I nodded and stood up slowly. She walked alongside me until we made it to the infirmary, where she started cleaning my smashed in face.

“Did he hurt you?” She asked.

“You’re cleaning my face because he used me as a punching bag and asking me that question?” I asked quietly. She stopped her wiping for a moment.

“I meant did he rape you?” She said.

“Then the answer is no.” I replied.

((Second person pov, or whatever the hell it’s called.))

Colt finally made it to the main deck, as he entered Roland turned to him a frown on his face.

“Where have you been, Colt? Zion control has been onto us already, I had to take off so another ship could land. Now get up to the cockpit and get us out of here.” He ordered.

“Sorry, captain. I was finishing in the storeroom when I saw Drakis attacking-” he was cut off when AK interrupted him.

“Shifter.” He whispered. Roland spun to face him.

“What?!”

“Shifter, I sent her down...” But Roland was already moving for the ladder.

((Shifters POV))

Maggie had just cleaned off the last of the blood on my face and given me some sort of sedative I was still lying on the bed, curled under a blanket and trying to ignore the pain in my stomach, when Roland came in.

“What happened? Are you alright?” He said, coming straight over to me. I mumbled something sleepily; the last thing I remember is him bending down to kiss my forehead.

I woke up the next morning and found Roland sat next to the bed and he had drifted off at some stage. I just lay there for a while watching him, I wasn’t sure if I should wake him or not, but the decision was taken away from me as he blinked his eyes open. When he saw me looking at him a look of relief came over his face.

“Thank God. I was beginning to think that you were going to sleep all day.” He said. I moved to sit up and a pain shot through my body, I fell back with a groan. Instantly he was on his feet next to me, one hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t move, Maggie said you need to rest for a few days. How are you feeling?”

“Like someone drove truck rolled over me, then backed up and did it again a few times.” I replied. He raised one eyebrow at that, prehaps he was surprised that I could laugh at this. Well it was either laugh at it or go mad; the choice wasn’t all that hard.

“Did you get Drakis?” He froze when I said that, then shook his head.

“No, we sent word to Zion, but nothing yet. I don’t think he’s still on board.” He answered. Was he saying that just to make me feel safe? No, I decided. I thought. Roland wasn’t the kind to leave anything to chance. The moment he found out what had happened he would have ordered a complete search of the ship.

“Were you here all the time I was asleep?” I asked him curiously. He nodded.

“Well most of the time, yes.” He replied, as he brought a tray with a bowl of food over to me.

“Why?” I said, picking up the spork. He gave me a strange look

“I would have thought that was obvious by now. But I don’t think I’ve told you today yet. Shifter I love you.” He said.

“Oh...I love you to, Roland.” I mumbled. I had never been good at expressing love or even a vague likeness for people; before now that is. While the words had been...difficult to get out, that was not to say that I didn’t mean them

“How long have I been here asleep for?” I asked.

“Two days. Don’t worry, AK can handle operating on his own until you’re better.” He said, giving me a stern look, as if to say ‘I’ll sit on you and make sure you get that rest, if that’s what it takes’.

“That isn’t what I meant. I not being able to do stuff, it’s boring.” I said, in a slightly whiny voice. The less time I had to think about my life, the better. Roland laughed, as he sat down on the bed next to me.

“I’m sure we can think of something to pass the time.” He winked at me and I looked away for a moment, unsure of how to respond to that. I knew what he had meant by that comment and I certainly looked forward to my days of recuperation.