The Darkness of Desire
folder
Star Wars (All) › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
15
Views:
15,806
Reviews:
61
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Star Wars (All) › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
15
Views:
15,806
Reviews:
61
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Star Wars movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Blatant Discomfiture
Darkness of Desire
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit story, and I own none of the characters.
Author – Courtier
Rating – PG at first, N-17 in later chapters
Summary – A coming of age story chronicling the relationship between Anakin Skywalker and his master, Obi-wan Kenobi; a story of passion, empathy, and confliction.
It continues within the bar of Bufon Taire . . . . .
Chapter VI – Blatant Discomfiture
Obi-wan Kenobi, young Master of the Jedi Order, pushed his way through the multitude of clubbers, steering himself towards the center bar area. The air was alive with the humidity of body sweat and the smell of rich liquor. The music pulsed in the Jedi’s ears with a deep thrum along with the ever throbbing strobe lights. Finally reaching the bar, he placed his hands on the glowing countertop and searched for Bufon, this club’s owner. As his eyes roved the vicinity, he suddenly felt a pair of arms weave their way around his waist. His body tensed in anticipation for a fight and he turned abruptly, hand reaching for the hilt of his saber. Pushing himself from the counter and turning around, he caught sight of a surprised looking young woman. She had dark red hair, sultry eyes, and was wearing a sheer black gown that was nearly transparent; hinting at everything yet revealing nothing. A thought popped into his mind as the knight took in his admirer’s appearance. . . .shameless temptress.
She recovered from her surprise rather quickly however and drew close to him once more, the scent of liquor heavy in her breath.
“Care for some company, love?” He felt her nails scratch along his shoulder over his cloak. Obi-wan could barely suppress a groan of irritation. I’ve an assignment to complete. Smiling wryly, he removed her right hand from his shoulder and her other hand from his thigh.
“You’re very tempting, mistress,” he explained to her, nearly unable to disguise the sarcasm in his tone, “yet. . .no. I’ve more pressing matters to attend to.”
She arched a slender eyebrow and strode gracefully away, rolling her eyes at him. Obi-wan straightened his cloak about his shoulders and turned round to the bar again, looking for this Bufon Taire.
***************************
Obi-wan once more strode through the throng of people, agitated and flustered. Nothing but a wild bantha chase. . . The woman that had threatened the club owner had been nothing but a sad excuse for a being, with nothing but empty threats; hardly the challenge Obi-wan had thought she would be. As he passed across the room to the entrance, he gained the stares of many more feminine admirers and even a few men! With more urgency to his stride, the young knight drew the hood of his cloak over his head. This was the reason he’d wanted Anakin to remain by the entrance. The very look and feel of this place was evocative and indecent; hardly a place for a ten year old boy to wander round. He sighed inwardly. Anakin had better not have wandered away. Although he’d only known his young apprentice for a brief amount of time, he knew the boy was hardly capable of staying put for very long.
To his surprise, however, Anakin was indeed standing beside the entrance doors. In fact, it seemed as though he’d hardly moved at all! The boy stood; arms at his sides, eyes wide and unmoving. What in the name of. . .? He approached Anakin warily.
“Anakin?” he asked. The boy’s head snapped upward quickly.
“Can we go, Master?” was all he asked. Obi-wan nodded, though not unconfused, and led his padawan into the late afternoon daylight.
Walking into the crowded square, Obi-wan hailed an air taxi immediately. Thank goodness this one is roofed! The pair entered into the transport and Obi-wan noticed that Anakin meekly sat in his seat staring forward; quite unlike the eager boy that had enthusiastically leaned dangerously over the side of their previous transport gazing starry-eyed at everything around him. Obi-wan continually threw sidelong glances towards his apprentice, only to see that the boy was chewing his lip thoughtfully and looking worried. He lowered down to inquire,
“Anakin, what’s troubling you?” Anakin merely shook his head, still looking ahead. Obi-wan felt at a loss. He’ll tell me when the time comes perhaps. . .
********************************
The young Jedi now stood at his window within his own quarters. Upon arriving at the temple, Anakin had asked his permission to return to his chamber, claiming to feel ill. Obi-wan knew something was wrong. What happened at the club? He’d attempted to probe the boy’s mind to find an answer, yet his thoughts were so clouded. Very little could be determined. Anakin always had been rather mysterious. . . . Obi-wan had then retreated to his own chamber after he had informed the council of his mission’s outcome. It was in his room that he stood now, hands clasped behind his back and staring thoughtfully at the setting sun over Coruscant.
The amber rays of the sun sliced through the narrow spaces between buildings with an enchanting ambiance. He closed his eyes momentarily, enveloping himself within the tranquility of the moment. Feeling the warm presence of the force, he willingly opened his mind to allow it to flow within him. Fragments of images passed before him in a blurry haze. The force often brought visions of the past along with those of the future during meditation. One moment the setting sun glared towards him, the next it was night; the city was alive with celebration. In the distance, bells were tolling rhythmically. And then there was a room, a room full of children, himself amongst them. Master Yoda hobbled before them, urging them to clear their minds. Yoda and the room vanished. Kind eyes were regarding him with affection. A warm hand on his arm. . . .Qui-gon! Young Anakin gazed up at him worriedly, asking, “What will happen to me now?”. A young man. . . .Anakin?. . .fought beside him, lightsaber humming with activity. Who are we dueling against? The images were becoming faster; harder to discern and distinguish just what they were. Past, future, or present? He suddenly heard the beat of a heart; it throbbed in his ears. “I know that you love me. . .” “Why must you behave like this?” “Just let go, Master! Let go of your doubts!”
Something harsh buzzed suddenly, and Obi-wan’s eyes flew open. The images and voices ceased almost immediately. The buzz was heard again. Obi-wan turned from the window. His door. . . .someone was at his door. Heart still beating from his rather intense meditation, the young Jedi crossed his room towards the door. Before pressing the access button he stopped to take a breath, composing himself. He ran both of his hands through his hair, and opened his door to be greeted by a nervous looking Anakin.
“Master Obi-wan?” he asked meekly.
He’s going to tell me now. . . Without a word, Obi-wan ushered his apprentice inside his room and closed the door once more. Anakin walked to the middle of the floor and stood silently for a while, his back turned to his master. Obi-wan could only watch and wait. Finally, Anakin turned around.
“I – I have to ask you something. . .” he asked. Taking a quick intake of breath, the boy plunged on, “Can – can two men like each other?”
This is what he wanted to ask me? Obi-wan couldn’t help but smile with relief as he passed Anakin to sit atop his chair in the corner.
“Of course they can, Anakin!” he laughed, “What kind of question is this?” His face fell suddenly as he realized that Anakin was still looking confused.
“That’s not what I meant. . . .”Anakin nearly whispered. “I meant. . . .as lovers.”
Thousands of emotions suddenly assailed him. Forgotten memories of heartache tore at him unexpectedly. His old master’s face floated before him. As lovers. . . .yes, they can. More than you know. Anakin stood patiently, awaiting an answer. Obi-wan struggled to control his emotions in order to answer his apprentice.
“Why – why would you think that?” he asked, voice cracking slightly.
“I saw two of them kissing in the club,” Anakin replied, still whispering.
That bloody club! Obi-wan couldn’t help but sit and look dumbfounded. What could he say? His apprentice at ten years of age was standing before him and asking of relations between men; a relation Obi-wan knew all to well. Anakin’s large blue eyes were large and inquisitive, seeming to force him in place. Uncertainly, he stood from his seat, wishing to escape the inquiring gaze of his padawan. He walked to the window, resting one of his hands against the glass pane.
“Well – well, yes they can, Anakin. There have been instances.” He tore his eyes from the sunset to the young boy. “I’m sorry you had to find out that way.” His hands began to shake at his sides, and he saw Anakin’s eyes shift downwards to notice this. Swiftly, he folded his arms within the folds of his cloak. Be calm! he scolded himself.
Anakin slowly nodded, taking in this new knowledge with gradual acceptance.
“Oh.” was all he said. The boy’s eyes looked upward again and into Obi-wan’s. The Jedi felt an unexpected feeling of a sudden. Almost as if the boy could read into his thoughts. The piercing gaze of his apprentice was so . . . .perceptive. Obi-wan lowered his eyes and busied himself with shading his window from the glaring evening light.
“Thank you, Master.” He heard Anakin mutter.
The Jedi turned to smile reassuringly. Bowing respectfully and rather stiffly, Anakin left the room.
Obi-wan stood, facing the door for a few moments after his padawan’s departure. Finally, he let himself sink onto his bed and lay against it in weariness. The smooth sheets felt cool against his warm skin. The Jedi brought his hands to his face and found that he’d been sweating.
“Can two men like each other?. . . . . . .as lovers?” his apprentice had asked.
I did, he thought. I loved a man. I loved Qui-gon, and he loved me. Though he would never divulge it; not even as he lay dying. . . .
Forgotten heartache made itself known once again. His master had never made his love known. Not once. Only that one moment years ago did he ever hint at his emotions.
. . . . A Jedi shall not know love. . . .
Had Qui-gon done what was right? In resisting him, he’d broken his padawan’s heart and caused him great pain. Though he’d taught his apprentice a great lesson; A Jedi shall never know love. . . .
Never. . . .never.
To Be Continued. . . . .
Thank you for taking the time to read this. This chapter might be granted a little more insight if you read Eyes of Passion, a prequel of sorts I've written to this chapter of Darkness of Desire. It goes into a bit more depth of Obi-wan’s relationship with his master. Reviews are appreciated if you wish to do so. Much more coming soon. Happy 4th of July to all you US citizens out there. ;)
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit story, and I own none of the characters.
Author – Courtier
Rating – PG at first, N-17 in later chapters
Summary – A coming of age story chronicling the relationship between Anakin Skywalker and his master, Obi-wan Kenobi; a story of passion, empathy, and confliction.
It continues within the bar of Bufon Taire . . . . .
Chapter VI – Blatant Discomfiture
Obi-wan Kenobi, young Master of the Jedi Order, pushed his way through the multitude of clubbers, steering himself towards the center bar area. The air was alive with the humidity of body sweat and the smell of rich liquor. The music pulsed in the Jedi’s ears with a deep thrum along with the ever throbbing strobe lights. Finally reaching the bar, he placed his hands on the glowing countertop and searched for Bufon, this club’s owner. As his eyes roved the vicinity, he suddenly felt a pair of arms weave their way around his waist. His body tensed in anticipation for a fight and he turned abruptly, hand reaching for the hilt of his saber. Pushing himself from the counter and turning around, he caught sight of a surprised looking young woman. She had dark red hair, sultry eyes, and was wearing a sheer black gown that was nearly transparent; hinting at everything yet revealing nothing. A thought popped into his mind as the knight took in his admirer’s appearance. . . .shameless temptress.
She recovered from her surprise rather quickly however and drew close to him once more, the scent of liquor heavy in her breath.
“Care for some company, love?” He felt her nails scratch along his shoulder over his cloak. Obi-wan could barely suppress a groan of irritation. I’ve an assignment to complete. Smiling wryly, he removed her right hand from his shoulder and her other hand from his thigh.
“You’re very tempting, mistress,” he explained to her, nearly unable to disguise the sarcasm in his tone, “yet. . .no. I’ve more pressing matters to attend to.”
She arched a slender eyebrow and strode gracefully away, rolling her eyes at him. Obi-wan straightened his cloak about his shoulders and turned round to the bar again, looking for this Bufon Taire.
***************************
Obi-wan once more strode through the throng of people, agitated and flustered. Nothing but a wild bantha chase. . . The woman that had threatened the club owner had been nothing but a sad excuse for a being, with nothing but empty threats; hardly the challenge Obi-wan had thought she would be. As he passed across the room to the entrance, he gained the stares of many more feminine admirers and even a few men! With more urgency to his stride, the young knight drew the hood of his cloak over his head. This was the reason he’d wanted Anakin to remain by the entrance. The very look and feel of this place was evocative and indecent; hardly a place for a ten year old boy to wander round. He sighed inwardly. Anakin had better not have wandered away. Although he’d only known his young apprentice for a brief amount of time, he knew the boy was hardly capable of staying put for very long.
To his surprise, however, Anakin was indeed standing beside the entrance doors. In fact, it seemed as though he’d hardly moved at all! The boy stood; arms at his sides, eyes wide and unmoving. What in the name of. . .? He approached Anakin warily.
“Anakin?” he asked. The boy’s head snapped upward quickly.
“Can we go, Master?” was all he asked. Obi-wan nodded, though not unconfused, and led his padawan into the late afternoon daylight.
Walking into the crowded square, Obi-wan hailed an air taxi immediately. Thank goodness this one is roofed! The pair entered into the transport and Obi-wan noticed that Anakin meekly sat in his seat staring forward; quite unlike the eager boy that had enthusiastically leaned dangerously over the side of their previous transport gazing starry-eyed at everything around him. Obi-wan continually threw sidelong glances towards his apprentice, only to see that the boy was chewing his lip thoughtfully and looking worried. He lowered down to inquire,
“Anakin, what’s troubling you?” Anakin merely shook his head, still looking ahead. Obi-wan felt at a loss. He’ll tell me when the time comes perhaps. . .
********************************
The young Jedi now stood at his window within his own quarters. Upon arriving at the temple, Anakin had asked his permission to return to his chamber, claiming to feel ill. Obi-wan knew something was wrong. What happened at the club? He’d attempted to probe the boy’s mind to find an answer, yet his thoughts were so clouded. Very little could be determined. Anakin always had been rather mysterious. . . . Obi-wan had then retreated to his own chamber after he had informed the council of his mission’s outcome. It was in his room that he stood now, hands clasped behind his back and staring thoughtfully at the setting sun over Coruscant.
The amber rays of the sun sliced through the narrow spaces between buildings with an enchanting ambiance. He closed his eyes momentarily, enveloping himself within the tranquility of the moment. Feeling the warm presence of the force, he willingly opened his mind to allow it to flow within him. Fragments of images passed before him in a blurry haze. The force often brought visions of the past along with those of the future during meditation. One moment the setting sun glared towards him, the next it was night; the city was alive with celebration. In the distance, bells were tolling rhythmically. And then there was a room, a room full of children, himself amongst them. Master Yoda hobbled before them, urging them to clear their minds. Yoda and the room vanished. Kind eyes were regarding him with affection. A warm hand on his arm. . . .Qui-gon! Young Anakin gazed up at him worriedly, asking, “What will happen to me now?”. A young man. . . .Anakin?. . .fought beside him, lightsaber humming with activity. Who are we dueling against? The images were becoming faster; harder to discern and distinguish just what they were. Past, future, or present? He suddenly heard the beat of a heart; it throbbed in his ears. “I know that you love me. . .” “Why must you behave like this?” “Just let go, Master! Let go of your doubts!”
Something harsh buzzed suddenly, and Obi-wan’s eyes flew open. The images and voices ceased almost immediately. The buzz was heard again. Obi-wan turned from the window. His door. . . .someone was at his door. Heart still beating from his rather intense meditation, the young Jedi crossed his room towards the door. Before pressing the access button he stopped to take a breath, composing himself. He ran both of his hands through his hair, and opened his door to be greeted by a nervous looking Anakin.
“Master Obi-wan?” he asked meekly.
He’s going to tell me now. . . Without a word, Obi-wan ushered his apprentice inside his room and closed the door once more. Anakin walked to the middle of the floor and stood silently for a while, his back turned to his master. Obi-wan could only watch and wait. Finally, Anakin turned around.
“I – I have to ask you something. . .” he asked. Taking a quick intake of breath, the boy plunged on, “Can – can two men like each other?”
This is what he wanted to ask me? Obi-wan couldn’t help but smile with relief as he passed Anakin to sit atop his chair in the corner.
“Of course they can, Anakin!” he laughed, “What kind of question is this?” His face fell suddenly as he realized that Anakin was still looking confused.
“That’s not what I meant. . . .”Anakin nearly whispered. “I meant. . . .as lovers.”
Thousands of emotions suddenly assailed him. Forgotten memories of heartache tore at him unexpectedly. His old master’s face floated before him. As lovers. . . .yes, they can. More than you know. Anakin stood patiently, awaiting an answer. Obi-wan struggled to control his emotions in order to answer his apprentice.
“Why – why would you think that?” he asked, voice cracking slightly.
“I saw two of them kissing in the club,” Anakin replied, still whispering.
That bloody club! Obi-wan couldn’t help but sit and look dumbfounded. What could he say? His apprentice at ten years of age was standing before him and asking of relations between men; a relation Obi-wan knew all to well. Anakin’s large blue eyes were large and inquisitive, seeming to force him in place. Uncertainly, he stood from his seat, wishing to escape the inquiring gaze of his padawan. He walked to the window, resting one of his hands against the glass pane.
“Well – well, yes they can, Anakin. There have been instances.” He tore his eyes from the sunset to the young boy. “I’m sorry you had to find out that way.” His hands began to shake at his sides, and he saw Anakin’s eyes shift downwards to notice this. Swiftly, he folded his arms within the folds of his cloak. Be calm! he scolded himself.
Anakin slowly nodded, taking in this new knowledge with gradual acceptance.
“Oh.” was all he said. The boy’s eyes looked upward again and into Obi-wan’s. The Jedi felt an unexpected feeling of a sudden. Almost as if the boy could read into his thoughts. The piercing gaze of his apprentice was so . . . .perceptive. Obi-wan lowered his eyes and busied himself with shading his window from the glaring evening light.
“Thank you, Master.” He heard Anakin mutter.
The Jedi turned to smile reassuringly. Bowing respectfully and rather stiffly, Anakin left the room.
Obi-wan stood, facing the door for a few moments after his padawan’s departure. Finally, he let himself sink onto his bed and lay against it in weariness. The smooth sheets felt cool against his warm skin. The Jedi brought his hands to his face and found that he’d been sweating.
“Can two men like each other?. . . . . . .as lovers?” his apprentice had asked.
I did, he thought. I loved a man. I loved Qui-gon, and he loved me. Though he would never divulge it; not even as he lay dying. . . .
Forgotten heartache made itself known once again. His master had never made his love known. Not once. Only that one moment years ago did he ever hint at his emotions.
. . . . A Jedi shall not know love. . . .
Had Qui-gon done what was right? In resisting him, he’d broken his padawan’s heart and caused him great pain. Though he’d taught his apprentice a great lesson; A Jedi shall never know love. . . .
Never. . . .never.
To Be Continued. . . . .
Thank you for taking the time to read this. This chapter might be granted a little more insight if you read Eyes of Passion, a prequel of sorts I've written to this chapter of Darkness of Desire. It goes into a bit more depth of Obi-wan’s relationship with his master. Reviews are appreciated if you wish to do so. Much more coming soon. Happy 4th of July to all you US citizens out there. ;)