I Remember Padme

This one goes out to Togemon at adultfanfiction. I don’t know this person much but their review gave me the confidence to continue after one certain nitpicker knocked my confidence a bit.

This scene is based on a fan art I did last year, in which I wrote “Obi, please try to understand. He needs me. But always remember that I love you with all my heart. I just cant be with you anymore. I’m sorry.” It just seemed so fitting for this chapter.


Chapter 6- The Painful Truth

It was several weeks before I got to see her again privately. For several days, she and Anakin spent some time on Naboo, recovering their injuries. I tried not to think what the two of them would be doing but it happened. Ever since I saw the two of them kiss on Geonesis, I knew what the visions I had meant. Us- Padme and I were over. Maybe the visions were preparing me for the loss- I don’t know. All I knew was I wished I had believed them. Maybe the heartbreak would have been easier.

What I could not understand was why. I mean, a few days before I saw that kiss I had read her thoughts through the force field. She called me her love so why? Why this betrayal? I wanted to see her so much to find out why she had thrown away ten years of forbidden romance away for a young man she had been in company with for a few weeks. Was she in love with him all along?

One day, I got lucky. Anakin was off to see the Supreme Chancellor and I had no duties. I also knew that she had no duties for the day either so I went over to see her at her new apartment. Luckily she was alone so at least I could have a conversation with her without having to change my words around to cause less suspicion. I could be upfront with her and hopefully, she would be upfront with me.

She opened up the door and let me in without a word. For the first few minutes there was a tensed silence. I walked over to one of the large windows and simply stared out into the city, watching the traffic fly by. The silence was awful but what can you say? How can you begin to start on such a topic? The fact that after so long, after all the risks- not only is the love of your life with someone else but she did it behind your back without breaking up with you first, what can you say? How can you be civil to someone like that? Despite what she did, I still loved her and I wanted this to be as calm and mature as it could be.

Eventually, I turned and saw her. There she was, looking at me with a serious but sad expression on her face. She looked as if she wanted to cry. I want to go up to her and hold her but held myself back. I just couldn’t do it.

Padme started to speak, “Obi-Wan….”

I simply said one word, “Why?”

“Just let me explain. I never meant to hurt you.”

I chuckled sarcastically and looked out of the window.

Padme was not almost pleading. “It’s true. Its just….. I can’t leave him now.”

Still staring out of the window, “And yet after all we’ve been through, you could leave me….”

“Obi-Wan……”

“You leave me and what’s worse is that you had the nerve to cheat on me. I could understand if you had told me you stopped loving me. But no, I heard your thoughts while I was imprisoned. I heard you say, ‘I’m coming for you, Obi. My love.´ And then I saw you kiss Anakin. What are you playing at?”

“Obi-Wan, I love you. I never stopped loving you but I also love Anakin. He needs me. Something happened out when I was with him.”

“Like what? You mean that kiss on the balcony?”

“What? How did you….”

“I saw it in a vision. I saw you both on that balcony as well as the time Anakin confessed his love for you.” I pointed an accusing finger at her. Don’t try to deny it because I know.”

She sighed, “Yes that did happen but there’s something else. His mother died.”

I bowed my head slightly, “Oh. I‘m sorry. Anakin never told me.”

“He needed me to comfort him. I found myself falling in love with him. I couldn’t help it.”

I sighed and looked out of the window. I genuinely had no idea that his mother had died. For a second, I understood. After all, she had a good heart. She had done the same for me once….. Suddenly something came to mind. I stared at her again.

“You mean, like you comforted me?”

She looked confused, “What are you talking about?”

I turned around to face her and folded my arms. “Don’t you remember? The night we first kissed? You comforted me then because I was mourning the loss of Qui-Gon. You told me you were in love with me. Was that why you stayed with me? Afraid I was going to go insane with my grief?”

She was shocked, “What? NO! I was falling in love with you. Please, I still love you but like I said, he needs me.”

“I need you too. Why does he need you more? Because of her mother.”

“No. Its because it is what he can become if I didn’t stay with him. He did something, Obi.” Her eyes began to fill with tears. “Something terrible.”

My heart softened. I cant bear to see her cry. I rushed over to her and held her. She wrapped her arms around me and we got close.

“What happened, Padme?”

Through blubbering tears she managed to say “He found his mo-mo-mother dead and then he got angry and he kil-l-l-l he killed a whole colony of Tusken Raiders.” And with that she snuggled his head into my chest and cried her eyes out.

What could I do? How could I be cross with her when she was in this state? But what exactly was she upset about? Was it the fact Anakin had killed out of anger? Did she regret cheating on me? Was she sorry that she had fallen in love with Anakin? What could I do except hold her? It was while I was holding her that I saw the ring on her finger. I took her hand into my hand and saw the ring more closely. I had never seen it before and I know I certainly had not given it to her. It could mean….. no it couldn’t, could it?

“Padme.” I said, “Is this what I think it is?”

She looked up at me with tear filled eyes. “I’m so sorry, Obi.”

I let go of her hand and stepped away from the door. I didn’t know what to think. Did they not realise the risk they had taken? If Anakin was the Chosen One, then he could not afford to be taken away from the Jedi Order all because of love. And yet I felt more than that. After ten years of love, not only does she cheat on me, she gets married too. It does not take a Yoda to figure what was going on. I began to open the door,

“Obi, wait.”

I turned and stared at her.

“Obi, please try to understand. He needs me. But always remember that I love you with all my heart. I just cant be with you anymore. I’m sorry.”

At the sound of that, I felt my eyes fill with tears but they did not fall.

“I wish I could believe that, Padme. I really wish I could.” And with that, I was gone, listening to the sound of her sobbing fading away as I began to leave the love of my life.

To be continued……….