What Price Fury

Title: What Price Fury
Rating: PG for now.
Fandom: Stones movie
Summery: Not For the first time in their relationship Hephaistion is a victim of Alexander’s wrathful temper. Mitigating issues play a part weakening the faithful General’s defenses causing him to retaliate and havoc ensues before the two can reunite. I can’t help but feel as though these two had there fair share of brawls. Egos aside…besides Hephaistion’s got other things on his mind.
Genre: Anger and angst and reconciliation
Reviews: Please send advice to rothalion@hotmail.com and thanks!
Disclaimer: Mr. Stone for this one, he brought them to life so we can torment them! Not purely movie driven I tweaked it a bit.


Thanks: To everyone who awaits updates to this tale and all who provide encouragement. Once again I thought that this chapter would lean toward a conclusion but it seems instead to have opened up the thing to more stuff…we’ll just have to see where it goes. Do not despair. Leave that to me…. This is a bit of reflection for Hephaistion and me as well. It will probably be boring for you guys but since it wrote itself this way I guess Hephaistion needed to sort it out.


Chapter 6
Trust and Mistrust



Hephaistion froze. He was about to brush his thumb, once again, across Alexander’s lips relishing in their firm yet tender tautness when his lover’s eyes fluttered open trying to blink away the dregs of sleep that weighed his blond lashed lids down. They stared, in a magical and god wrought silence, at one another. Hephaistion couldn’t move. The site of Alexander’s slightly parted lips, his still sleep heavy, gentle eyes and slightly flared nostrils stirred him. Stirred him in so many ways that he was left confused and in awe of the subtle yet enduring power that the man beside him wielded over his heart and soul despite all the conflict that sullied their lives as of late. He licked his lips and held his breath and licked his lips again before he resumed, unhindered, his gentle fingertip reconnaissance of Alexander’s lips and face.

Alexander shuddered when he peered into the crystal blue pools across from him. How many years and trials had they suffered through together? How much death and destruction had they wrought in the name of ‘his’ dream? A dream that was only in its violent infancy. A dream that Hephaistion had on so many bitter occasions admitted to not wholly believing in for this reason or that but followed and fought for because he loved his Alexander. His dreamer. The other half of his soul. His bit of love in a world so filled with despair and anguish that a soul like his could be easily tilled under and forgotten in the stomp tromping advance of a military life. They’d overcome arguments and conflict, fist fights and outright cruel and horrible treatment of one another. There’d been times when despair had threatened to fracture their union, a union they both felt was a gift of the gods themselves, into a billion shards of agonizing grief strewn bits. But always, in the end, love and absolute and blind trust had cured, slain and erased all the scars and wounds that life had dealt them. Alexander blinked and wondered if once again love would cure them. Could cure them.

He was sore. Truth be told he was in pain. Hephaistion had with held nothing in his urgent need to rule him the night before. He’d pounded, clawed, bitten and driven himself into Alexander with a frenetic need to join with him, crawl inside him, to taste him and somehow own him. It wasn’t the first time violence had ruled their coupling but this time the ache was telling and deep, it tore at his heart as well as his body and mind. It spelled out to Alexander, though Hephaistion would never admit it, just how hurt, fearful and insecure Hephaistion was about the upcoming wedding, and the way he’d treated him at the meeting. Add the death of Amyntor and even a fool could see that Hephaistion was ripe and ready for an outlet for his hurt and fury. In this case Alexander understood Hephaistion’s need to possess. The out right violence of it though, the biting and clawing, Hephaistion’s blank face and sneer coupled with the man’s verbally abusive chatter had terrified Alexander. He had always hated this violent bent of Hephaistion’s. He didn’t understand it and this time it had transcended all the others in its furious frenzy of lust, longing and cruelty.

Alexander didn’t know exactly why or where this love driven violence had come from, but he had his ideas. Hephaistion was a master at gentling horses and training dogs… but with men he often had only the compulsion to brutalize if his demands were not immediately met.

They’d fought over this ‘weakness’ in Hephaistion’s character so many times that to recall them would be futile. How many times had they debated the use of the whip as a tool of discipline? Alexander deplored it and Hephaistion embraced it. Although Hephaistion and his father had a loving and close relationship Alexander knew that it was not without its darker side. His own parents may have used him as a pawn but Hephaistion’s father had disciplined his son with the same harshness that was used in the mines and quarries, the excuse being that he was preparing him for the hardships of soldiering. Hephaistion was already familiar with the cutting agony of the whip when he’d arrived at Meiza. At the first sight of his scared back and thighs in the gymnasium the other students had immediately singled the tall, quiet, handsome boy out as being troublesome and crude. Secretly though it was Hephaistion’s scars that the other students respected him for. His back, already a map of ragged scar tissue, was a thing of conjecture and awe. When asked Hephaistion walked away saying naught, only that ‘discipline is discipline and that they should take it to heart.’ After a time they all hated him because Alexander loved him but they respected and feared him for his scars.

Hephaistion again licked his lips before speaking. “You stayed.” It was a flat statement as much a question as an answer.

“You…you needed me?” Alexander asked. A sort of apology and a query in one.

Silence surrounded the two and the meager moonlight lit up the flecks of gold in both of their eyes. Hephaistion pulled his hand back and tucked it, childlike, under his chin. Alexander sighed and reached out to him. As he touched Hephaistion’s cheek the man flinched. The touch was coarse and heavy.

“Sorry, hand’s asleep. Yours though, yours felt good. How god awful long has it been, Hephaistion?”

“Last night.”

Alexander sensed the taut bitterness in Hephaistion’s voice. While his touch had been tender his voice betrayed his hurt. Last night. Last night, had been a travesty. One man compelling his will upon another devoid of love, devoid of caring, devoid of anything other than the basic need to punish. Need. Alexander needed Hephaistion to return to him, but he couldn’t help but feel that the man had completely lost himself in his grief for his father and the argument with him.

“Your warm.” Hephaistion whispered shifting closer to Alexander and twinning their legs together. It was if he was trying to burrow up under his chin.

“That’s good, Phaistion. You are always so chilled you know.”

“ Chilled. Yes. Chilled. I hurt you again.” He furrowed his brow in an aloof remembrance.

“Mhm hmhm.”

“Alexander do you have any idea just how tired I am? Do you Alexander?”

Alexander reached out and stroked Hephaistion’s stubble covered cheek. Then a thumb across his parted lips. Hephaistion shuddered at the touch. He wanted Alexander to make love to him, to stroke and strum and play his body like a lyre until the song burst free and swallowed him in blinding, mind numbing pleasure driving the sadness from his heart.

“Yes my love I do. I truly do. You have to believe that Hephaistion, you must.”

“Last night…”

“Was just that. ‘Last’ night. And today, this morning is a new morning. Let us start again Hephaistion. I am sorry for my treatment of you in front of the men and for failing you when you called for me. I, and it is no excuse, was very tired too.”

Hephaistion sighed, he no longer felt anger only a sort of resentment. He resented Alexander for his dreams, he resented Alexander for his duties, he resented Alexander for being able to share himself emotionally and physically with multiple partners while he seemed to care only for Alexander and no other person had ever stirred his loins with desire. Which led him to sometimes blaming Alexander for his own loneliness. Lastly he resented himself the most for being childish enough to feel the things he felt and allow those feelings to drive him to injure Alexander during an act that should be one of love and caring.

“Yes.” Hephaistion replied and then kissed Alexander gently on the lips. “To new beginnings and long feared farewells.”

“Oh by the gods, Hephaistion!” Alexander shouted irritably as he quickly shot up from the bed roughly dislodging Hephaistion. “This, this wedding is not a farewell and you more than know that Hephaistion!” He began to pace. “And if you don’t, if you do not ‘know’ that by now,” he spun and faced Hephaistion who was now reclining, leaning on his left elbow. “then I have no idea, absolutely no idea what to tell you or how to reassure you!”

They stared at one another. Finally Hephaistion swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood. He hadn’t meant to anger Alexander. The truth was he’d intended to make love to him, and be made love to. Like they had in the long ago past. It had been so long and he needed that bond with Alexander just now. Standing up, he felt, for the first time in all of their years together, uncomfortable and foolish with his nakedness in Alexander’s company. His now flagging erection didn’t help him feel any better. Grimacing at the strange feeling he crossed his arms over his chest and made his way to the chamber pot. Finished he crossed to his table and poured himself a cup of unmixed wine before returning to Alexander.

“You know Alexander, you are correct as usual, its not about farewells at all.” He took a large swig of wine and scrunched up his face at the taste. “No, not farewells at all. It ‘all’ about me. Me, selfish as that may seem to you it’s all about me.”

Alexander studied him, squinting in concentration his neck slightly cocked. He couldn’t get a grip on this new Hephaistion. It seemed that each time he thought he had him again in his heart Hephaistion slipped away. About him? It made little sense.

Hephaistion read Alexander’s thoughts. “Yes, about me. Me. Hephaistion.” He thumped his chest with his thumb. “The king’s kind whore, the king’s lackey, the king’s watch dog, the king’s consort and court buffoon. About me. And me, well I am so sick and tired right now of pissing my pitiful life away scurrying around in the shadow of your great and almighty dream. Gods ,I just wish to plunge my dagger into my heart and silence the racket that our lives have become!”

His almighty dream. So it was that again as well, Alexander shook his head in dismay and poured himself a large cup of wine and offered to refill Hephaistion’s. So many years and still the man was insecure and foolish enough to play that card over and over again. Alexander pitied Hephaistion in that very moment. Pitied him because of the pain he forced needlessly upon himself. Tired of rehashing old rubbish Alexander decided to get to the point.

“Hephaistion, I’m going to ask something of you and I hope that you will say yes to me. It is important to me.” Alexander stepped up to Hephaistion and held his blue eyes in a fierce glare.

“When have I ever denied you anything Alexander?”

“Never, but this…this is different.” He studied Hephaistion’s placid, neutral features. “We have, since we were boys, talked about my duty to provide an heir when I became king. You had always understood and supported me, promised me your love. You know I am duty bound to this Hephaistion. By the gods man how many times have we sat and drank ourselves silly trying to decide what color eyes she should have, or big breasts or small, tall or short, blond or dark hair, freckles or none…If you disapprove of her I am sorry. I gave you no warning and for that breach in our trust I was wrong. But this wedding ‘will’ happen the day after tomorrow. Hephaistion, be my best man, stand with me in this. Do me the honor…”

“That honor belongs to Parminion!” He turned away frustrated with Alexander’s blind devotion to him. “It’s the rule, the custom. Must you rewrite and redo everything that you touch?”

“Yes, I am breaking new ground here Hephaistion and I want ‘you’ at my side when I join Macedon to Persia. You Hephaistion ‘my’ man not my father’s.”

“Your man!” Hephaistion took a mouthful of wine and spit it out on Alexander’s feet. “Your man! Your boy you mean! Your fine, handsome Athenian born and Macedonian re-educated boy! Your toy, your slave, your pretty plaything. Are you mad Alexander!” He was screaming now, his anger so long bottled up roiled over and Alexander wavered in the crush of it.

“You…have…‘never’ been my ‘boy’! Never! So do not sing that sad song for me Hephaistion. What in gods name is wrong with you! Where is ‘my’ Hephaistion?” Alexander stepped back as Hephaistion began to laugh uproariously. He watched stunned as the empty cup slipped from his fingers and Hephaistion began to clap his hands.

“If I was not already standing Alexander, I would jump to my feet and give you a standing ovation! No! no such honor is needed for me. I will attend, and I will suffer the mocking remarks of your friends just as I suffered Cleitus’ punch and I will sleep alone while you soil the wedding sheets performing your ‘duty’ but no, do not force this upon me it will tear my heart to pieces. Knowing Alexander is one thing. Knowing for no matter how long that you will marry and consummate that union is one thing but seeing it, happen threatens to rip my soul apart. How will I rest Alexander knowing that you are bedding a woman in my place, gods that eunuch is bad enough! I want to retch each time I see him.” He turned and started away.

Alexander had had enough, he threw his cup and reached out grabbing Hephaistion by both shoulders and spun him around. Before Hephaistion could react Alexander dragged him into a desperate embrace, pulling Hephaistion’s head into the crook of his neck. The shocked man tried to struggle free but Alexander held him firmly in his strong arms.

“Listen to me, will you just ‘listen’ to me.” He pleaded in a coarse whisper into Hephaistion’s ear. “I love you and only you and you know this to be the truth! You know this my Hephaistion and you accept it just as I accept that you love me! No be still, just be still.” He squeezed with all his strength keeping Hephaistion pinned against his broad and heaving chest. “I am sorry for the meeting, I am sorry for taking you from your estates and your father, I am sorry for loving you too much and so fiercely that you’ve closed your heart to any other, I am sorry for all the pain and loneliness I have caused you…ah by the gods Hephaistion please don’t, please do not cry. Stand with me, I ‘need’ you at my side not Parminion. Please.”

“Alexander, I cannot give you to her, please do not ask me to do this. I…”

“You can and you will.” He pushed Hephaistion’s head up and stared into the damp blue eyes. “You can. You will, for me, your Achilles, please.”

“Fine then Alexander, if it is your wish.” Hephaistion finally said his resolve gone and his heart fractured. The wedding would occur regardless, fighting it would do no good, he’d stand by Alexander and give him to his barbarian queen adding yet another obstacle to the road that led to his lover’s bed. “Just do not ask me for assistance in the consummation of your union I am afraid I’d be of little help there.”

Alexander smiled a bit relieved that Hephaistion had agreed and that he’d tried to make light of it.

“I’m certain that you’d be helpful Phaistion, remember that Illyrian girl, the one with the pitch black hair? You handled her nicely at that banquet!”

Hephaistion grimaced at the memory, they were fifteen and had attended one of Philip’s many banquets. An Illyrian tart had taken a strong liking to Hephaistion and though he tried he could not rid himself of her. In the end she’d had her way with the boy much to Hephaistion’s disgust and dismay.

“Gods no Alexander she raped me the wild bitch did. That was rape plain and simple. I had nothing to do with it. You ‘know’ that!”

“No, not much, but you were certainly as hard as a cornel spear shaft and you certainly came with great gusto; and a rather high pitched shriek if I recall. Remind me to ask Cleitus, I’m sure he remembers.”

“Alexander!”

“Ah, my shy and loyal Hephaistion. I have to go I’m late. I’m sorry.”

“You always are.”

“You sound like a henny pen wife Hephaistion!” He said smiling then stepped in closing the space between them and again embracing Hephaistion. “I love you. I need you. I may not get to see you before the ceremony, they have me doing a thousand things. Just remember my words alright? I love you, I need you.” He stepped back and they kissed deeply savoring in each others flavor. Alexander finally pulled away. “I have to dress and go…”

“Go then, just leave me with this.” He looked down pathetically at the cause of his concern.

They both laughed for the first time what seemed to Alexander like ages and as Alexander dressed, Hephaistion crawled back into his bed. He never felt Alexander kiss his forehead before leaving he was already deeply asleep.



Finally an update.