Bliss

“we are accidents
waiting waiting to happen.

we are accidents
waiting waiting to happen.”
Radiohead, “there there”

It hadn’t been as easy as Casey would have liked it to be. After getting inside, his father walked out to where Will waited to make sure Casey was telling the truth. “God… it’s like I’ve been this HUGE liar all my life,” Casey grumbled to his mother as he hung up his coat.

“Casey?”

“Yea?”

His mother, looking a cross between amused and concerned, pointed to his neck. Oh. Shit. “Oh… um…”

“Oh Casey, Casey…” his mother said, shaking her head and sighing. “Don’t tell me you managed to get your teacher to lie for you, and you’d been out with some girl-“

“NO, Mom. Geez. I told you the truth; I just helped Mr. Holden at school,” he said, trying to make his voice gruff and convincing past his flashing panic. It was half a lie of course.

“Well then. Who is she?”

“C’mon…” Casey sighed out, heading to the stairs and climbing up. “So old-fashioned…”

That next morning he readied himself for school, noticing that the marks on his neck seemed darker. “Crap,” he mumbled, though the excitement he felt was exhilarating. He wore proof of his ‘escapade’, and it made him blush with giggles. Still, he had to be safe, and opted for a high collared sweater for the day.

Even the bus seemed like a dream ride today. The normal loud buzzing conversation, yells, laughter and scratching of pencils marking up rushed homework didn’t seem to faze him today. He simply stared out the window, sighing to himself. He wondered what it would be like, walking into school and having his new lover there…

Love; oh, what a word, Casey thought. He had one now, didn’t he? His only lament was that it was truly one of the most taboo situations. There seemed to be a ‘movie-of-the-week’ on this subject EVERY week on network television, all about the dealings of teacher-student sexual relationships. They were always portrayed with a dirty sort of distaste, but Casey couldn’t help but feel that everyone had it wrong. After all, didn’t he and Will spend that last Friday as simple, consenting adults? Granted he was still young, but seventeen WAS of age. Their ‘relationship’, whatever it was, was granted seniority over his position at school; at least that’s the way Casey saw things. Maybe it was irrational, but Casey smiled anyways all the way on and off the bus, walking to the school. He didn’t even make his normal rush inside, causing the normal group of jocks to catch sight of him quite easily. Not noticing, Casey walked blissfully along, not even seeing Gabe stand up.

“Hey,” Gabe called. Casey heard it as background noise as he climbed the steps. “HEY.”

Now Casey turned, a wide-eyed expression on his face. “Oh… sorry, what?” he softly replied, seeing Gabe walk over with one of his friends.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to ignore people?” Gabe told him with a sneer. Casey blinked, shrugging.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t hear you.”

“Yea. Right. Like all those OTHER times you don’t hear us, and you go runnin’ like some girl into school,”

Gabe’s friend made a loud guffaw at this. Casey rolled his eyes. “How do you know, Gabe? Do you chase girls into school often?”

Gabe scowled angrily; Casey was one for comebacks, but even THAT was a risky one. “I don’t have to, piss-face.” Gabe retorted. “They come to ME.”

“Sure they do, Gabe.” Casey sighed out, turning to go into school. Gabe stopped him however, grabbing his shoulder roughly.

“Did I dismiss you, pussy-boy?”

“Hey.”

Casey turned, seeing Stan coming up the stairs. Gabe let go of Casey’s shoulder, nodding slowly to greet Gabe. “What’s up, man?”

“Leave ‘im, Gabe. Haven’t you got something better to do besides using people as tackle practice?”

“Geez! Tackle practice, I was just talking to the kid.” Gabe said, raising an eyebrow. “Since when did you take up the job as this piss-ant’s bodyguard, anyways?”

“C’mon Case,” Stan said, ignoring Gabe. Casey sighed with exasperation as they got inside school.

“Thanks, Stan.”

“No prob,” Stan told him as they got to Casey’s locker. “God, he’s such a dick.”

“Always has been. But he’s very creative; he managed to insult me three times. Well, the word ‘piss’ was used in two of ‘em, but I’ll overlook that,”

Stan made a look his way, concerned at first. That changed when he saw that Casey had a smile on his lips. “Wow, for someone who threatened Gabe’s temper, you sure got a shit-eating grin going on now.”

“Just happy,” Casey said with a shrug, piling his books into his bag. Stan smiled.

“Well, it’s good to see. You’re too damned mopey,” he told him. Casey stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Stan followed him down the hall. “I’m buying breakfast,” Stan told him, giving him a friendly cuff to the shoulder.


******


Casey could hardly get through his first classes before chemistry without being entirely antsy. The anxiety was enough to kill an elephant at this point; he couldn’t stop wondering what it would be like, walking into Will’s temporary classroom, looking at him for the first time since the night before. He wondered if Will would wear the same look he did last night after making love, looking to Casey with a soft smile. At one point during Mr. Tate’s droning history lesson, he had to stifle a giggle. Of COURSE he wouldn’t look at him like that. In doing so, it’d reveal everything now, wouldn’t it?

Suffice to say that when Casey headed for Will’s class, he was ready to burst. His steps were quick and light until he turned the corner of the hallway, seeing the room just a few doors down. ‘You’re acting like a total idiot,’ he thought to himself. He steadied his breath and walked forward, swallowing hard.

There he was; Will was standing at the board, writing out a chemical listing from the chapter they’d read for homework. Casey realized suddenly that he hadn’t read it… but he didn’t worry. Will saw him and raised his eyebrows. “Hello, Casey.” He said blankly. Casey kept his huge grin back, knowing he was already blushing.

“Mornin’ Sir,” he casually replied, heading to his seat in the back. Will kept his back to him, scrawling formulas and chemical components out. The classroom was filling fast, making Casey sigh with some dread. His expectations were much too high, weren’t they? ‘Oh well,’ he thought getting his book out to try and scan the chapter.

The bell rang a moment later; Will went to shut the door just as Zeke piled in, looking flustered. Before Will could even raise his eyebrows in disapproval, Zeke rolled his eyes. “Yea, I’m like… five seconds late. Wouldn’t have happened if my book bag didn’t decide to throw up in the hall,”

Casey stifled more giggles as Will sighed, shaking his head and shutting the door. “All right, class,” he said as Zeke fumbled his way through the aisle to his own seat. As Will arranged papers at his desk to pass out, Casey turned to look at Zeke.

“Since when do you carry a book bag?” he hissed. Zeke glanced up, his tongue moving inside his cheek.

“Since Coach insisted we all carry our books everywhere. School boards’ been cracking down on the teams here lately, not lettin’ shit slide. Shit.” Zeke explained, reaching down to pick up a couple pens that had fallen from a hole in the bag. Casey distinctly caught the unusual amount of white in them and sighed. Oh, so he’d study, but wouldn’t stop selling that stupid scat?

“Oh. Poor you,” Casey drawled out, turning to face the front again. He didn’t care that Zeke now frowned at him in annoyance. He leaned back in his chair as Will went to the rows.

“These are your tests from last week. Looked pretty good, from what I saw,” he said. Casey watched as everyone began passing the papers behind them, giving out the tests accordingly. Casey watched them go down his row until finally the last one, his, arrived. Will began going over the test as Casey smiled upon his “A”. He now frowned slightly, peering curiously at the paper.
Letters along the questions had been circled in red; what did that mean- Oh. OH. Casey tried suppressing the grin threatening to spread a little too wide across his face as he began deciphering what he saw as a code. Delight swarmed through his whole body; already they were speaking in ‘code’ to each other. It made Casey feel dangerous, and not the kind of dangerous he’d faced in the gym with MaryBeth. It was an exciting dangerous, the kind of risky tactics of lovers. He got the last letter out and beamed.
“After class unless you’re 2 hungry”

This class was going to be very, very long, Casey surmised to himself. It was funny how time played against you when you wanted it to pass quickly. The tests seemed to take forever to go over; Casey swore at least twenty minutes had passed, but glancing to the clock he found only ten had gone by. He groaned to himself, tapping his pen on the desk absent-mindedly.
Next was the talk on the experiment, and how it was indeed going to come about. They spent fifteen minutes (feeling more like an hour) talking about preparations and cautions, safety issues, bla, bla, bla… ‘God, is it ALWAYS this long??’ Casey desperately thought. Now Gabe was joking around about setting fire to the school, and Will informed him quite frankly that he would take a seat in the back should he mention such things again, along with his famous wink. Casey could melt right then and there, wishing he’d been the recipient of that coy gesture.

‘FINALLY,” Casey screamed in his head after hearing the bell go off. ‘C’mon, get your shit together, that’s good… no Jessie, you idiot, your hair is FINE…’ Oh, this was too much. Even Zeke was taking forever; even with him in the back of the room, he was usually one of the first to exit class. Casey fought to look busy with his own things, taking a good amount of time in simple acts, such as getting his pencils in order inside their case.

“Goin’ to lunch?” he asked Casey, stuffing his papers haphazardly in his bag. Casey bit his lip.

“Probably not. I’m… gonna get some work done in the darkroom,” Casey lied.

“Oh well,” Zeke said, standing up abruptly and awkwardly, hoisting his heavy bag onto his shoulders. He gave Casey a quick “See ya,” then left… leaving Casey very much alone with Will. Casey cleared his throat, looking up at him, his lips pursed into a tense smile. Will sighed loudly, going to the door. Casey’s heart leapt when he saw him put his key into the hole, locking it.

“Casey?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Please come here. We need to talk,” he said, his face and voice both very serious. Casey blinked, standing up slowly.

“What’s… wrong?” he asked, walking over. Will sighed shakily, looking morose. Great. All day he’d been waiting to see Will, and now this. It was obvious to Casey that Will seemed nervous and edgy. However, his paranoia was proved wrong once he was in reach of Will- and reach Will did, grabbing one of the loops of Casey’s jeans and pulling him to himself roughly. Casey’s anxiety left him completely, letting him yelp and chuckle as he practically fell into Will’s lap. “Don’t you think…” Casey started, amused. “That it’s not proper behavior to do such things to a student, Mr. Holden?”

“You’re such a damned tease,” Will said, immediately taking the back of Casey’s head and pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss. ‘Ooh…’ Casey thought with delight. ‘I’m a tease now…’

“Mmm,” Will moaned as he broke off from the kiss. He stroked Casey’s cheek slowly, staring into his eyes. “I’ve been waiting to do that since waking up this morning,”

Casey blushed, cocking his head to the side. “Not very patient, are you?” he replied, making Will laugh.

“Oh really?? Now let me think… I had one particular student in this very class, looking like he was ready to burst at the seams with anxiety. Now WHO was that… hmmm…”

“Shut up,” Casey breathed out, leaning in for another kiss.

“God fuck, fucking bag…”

Both their heads whipped to the door; Casey swallowed- that was Zeke. The doorknob rattled then. “Damn… Mr. Holden? You in there, I heard someone talking-“

“Fuck.” Casey muttered as Will stood up, brushing his shirt and slacks. Casey was stunned. “What… do we do?”

“Hide… under the desk,”

Casey nodded briskly, nearly jumping underneath it. Once safely hidden, Will unlocked the door and opened it. “Zeke, what’s going on?”

“Nothing… I think I dropped some pens at my desk.”

“Pens?”

Fucking pens, Casey thought, rolling his eyes- never mind that, fucking BAG. ‘Go to Wal-Mart, Jesus,” he thought, feeling the pulse throbbing in his throat.

“Yea.” Zeke said. Casey stilled completely; he knew the voice Zeke was using now; it was filled with suspicion and question. “Were you talking in here?”

“Oh yes; I always talk out loud when I read,” Will said without pause. Casey heard Zeke muttering an ‘ah’, and pens being picked up.

“All right. See ya then, Mr. Holden,” Zeke said, going to the door. Casey waited until he heard Will shutting the door to come out.

“Fuck… that was close,” Casey whispered. Will nodded, putting a hand to his brow and rubbing it worriedly.

“A bit too close. It wasn’t very wise to do this, Casey, I’m sorry,” he told him. Casey smiled warmly.

“No big deal, really. Zeke’s a friend… of mine,” Casey said, halting in the words. No he wasn’t.

“All the same… I say wait a minute before leaving, just in case the poor guy’s bag explodes in the hall,”

Casey chuckled quietly, going over to him. Wrapping his arms around his neck, he sighed. “What should we do to pass that minute?”

“Oh, there isn’t enough time for what I’d LIKE to do,”

Casey smiled as he bent forward for a kiss. They mouthed each other hungrily, all the while Casey wishing he’d have the nerve to just skip class and wait for him in his sedan. He couldn’t possibly concentrate for the rest of the day, not with what they were doing now. Especially when Will’s hand groped at his chest, pressing through his sweater roughly. He broke from the kiss, leaving Casey with breathy gasps. Putting his hand to his hair gently, he smiled. “You should probably head out. He’s sure to be gone now,”
Casey nodded. “All right… maybe, tonight?”

“’Fraid not,” Will regretfully replied. “Maybe Wednesday, though.”

“All right.” Casey said, leaning over one more time to plant a small kiss on his nose. “See ya later, then,”

Will leaned forward and opened the door again, letting Casey out. He took one more glance behind him and smiled before trekking off down the hallway. Maybe lunch wouldn’t be that bad an idea. He did have a ham and cheese sandwich in his backpack-

“Whatcha doin’, Case?”

Casey was surprised his head didn’t hit the ceiling, swearing he’d at least jumped ten feet in hearing the voice from behind him. He turned around quick, seeing Zeke standing in the doorway to one of the classrooms. “Zeke!” Casey exclaimed, trying to still his now rapid breathing. “Jesus, do you have to sneak UP on me like that?”

“I just asked, ‘whatcha doin’’. Didn’t pull a gun on you,” he said.

“May as well have,” Casey replied.

“So. Whatcha doin’?”

Casey blinked hard, his head shaking. “Nothing. Why?”

“’Thought you said you were going to the darkroom,” Zeke asked, leaning on the lockers and crossing his arms. Casey shrugged.
“Just on my way there. I had to stop at my locker first.”

“All right. So… your locker, being on the first floor, made you have to come back up HERE to the SECOND floor to head to the darkroom, which is about ten feet away from said locker.”

It was quiet for a moment, Casey already knowing that Zeke was suspicious. He couldn’t think of anything to say in response, resorting to a simple shrug. Zeke groaned and shook his head.

“Where’d you hide? Under the desk, go in the closet?”

“Shut up.” Casey said, choosing to try to end the conversation by turning away and walking briskly towards the stairwell. Zeke however didn’t look like he was going to let it go as he followed closely, his long legs making Casey’s steps look slow.

“Casey, what the fuck are you doing??” he hissed, his tone sounding angry. Casey rolled his eyes.

“What’s it matter to you, whatever the ‘fuck’ I’m doing??”

“Are you Goddamned insane, Case??” Zeke said, ignoring Casey’s dismissal. “Are you going to tell me you think fucking a teacher is fucking NORMAL?”

“Why not, Zeke?” Casey angrily retorted, stopping his walking and turning to face him. “Tell me right now that you didn’t fuck with Miss Burke, hmm? Go on and try,”

“I DIDN’T.” Zeke stated firmly. “Yea, I fucked AROUND with the chick, sure as shit. Not something I’m entirely proud of, either. Don’t tell me that you’re proud, giving some forty-something fucking teacher head,”

“Who fucking says I have??”

“Have you??”

Casey’s throat tensed, his face blank. That was all Zeke needed it seemed. “Jesus fucking Christ, Case,” he said, sighing heavily. Now Casey glared at him.

“So what, are you going to go off and report him, us?? Go ahead, see if I care,” Casey said bitterly. Zeke rolled his eyes.

“I’m not gonna do that, Case. Just tell me, right fucking now, that this is just a stupid thing and you’re not gonna seriously take it any further,”

“Why the hell SHOULD I?? What in fuck do I owe YOU??” Casey retorted, his face growing red hot with anger.

“It’s not ME that I’m worried about, Jesus,” Zeke said. Casey pursed his lips, breathing fast.

“Don’t worry about me, Zeke. Lord knows you haven’t given a damn my way otherwise,” he told him. He turned now, heading down the stairs.

“What?? Casey, for-“

“Don’t you have a fucking game to practice for, Zeke??” He called out loudly, turning down to head past the double doors, pushing them open forcefully.