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CHAPTER SIX: BEHIND THE MASK

Vader watched his son fight back tears. Obi-Wan's betrayal was like a brand on Luke's psyche. It was sostrong that Vader himself felt the burn of it through their bond. Vader gently squeezed one of his son's shoulders and the boy drew nearer to him, half resting his head against Vader’s chest. Luke’s ragged breathing eased and the sensation of being scalded faded the longer Vader held him. The silence in the room was broken by the discreet sound of the Com chiming. Vader opened the channel with a wave of his hand and Admiral Piett's voice flowed into the room.

"Lord Vader, the Emperor wishes to communicate with you via the holonet."

The boy tensed in Vader's light embrace. Lukes crystalline eyes searched the mask as if the piece of durasteel would reveal Vader's intent. Just for a moment, Vader wondered if somehow Luke could see through it to the real him with the Force. He found the thought both disquieting and intriguing. He did not want his son to see his ruined visage until after their physical relationship began. It would be easier to persuade the boy into bed that way. 'We will be everything to each other if only I can break through the restrictions he has set up around himself against it.'

"Put the Emperor through to the holonet chamber in my quarters, Admiral."

"Yes, Lord Vader."

The Com clicked off and the silence was back except for the mechanical sound of Vader's respirator. Luke tightened his grip on the blanket around his shoulders, but the boy's face remained upturned to watch his. Again that urge to lean down and kiss those full lips presented itself to Vader. How long had it been since he'd had the desire to kiss? Not since his first few years under the mask. But that had been born out of habit, not actual desire to connect with another person.

"What does the Emperor want? Does he know about ... about me being here?"

"He felt me withdraw from him on Black Heart. I broke our master-apprentice bond. I am surprised that he did not attempt to communicate with me earlier."

But then again Vader’s surprise was not all that great. Palpatine had been slipping of late: allowing the Rebellion to get out of hand, taxing onerously, inciting petty feuds where order would serve better, and the massive destruction of life through the Deathstar and other biological and chemical weapons to name but a few of the madnesses that occupied the Emperor’s time. Killing and fear were all well and good, but overused they made even the most docile people rebel. Palpatine was also busy training another apprentice, Mara Jade, code-named the Emperor’s Hand. Palpatine believed that Vader was unaware of her existence, but even before the change he underwent on Black Heart, Vader knew of the Emperor's plans in that arena. The Dark Lord intended to enjoy destroying another one of his old masters and his new pet. But first he had other things to attend to. Like seducing his son.

Vader tenderly brushed a stray lock of hair from Luke's forehead. The boy leaned into the touch instinctively, then when he caught himself doing so, quickly pulled back. Vader chuckled at that and Luke bit his lower lip, but he also gave his father one of those serene yet challenging Jedi looks that seemed to say, 'Yes, Father, you may know my weakness, but I intend to fight you every step of the way.' Despite what he had told Luke earlier, his son's defiance was refreshing and almost welcome.

"Can the Emperor not talk to you like we do with our minds?" Luke asked.

"If I allowed it."

"But you don't allow it?" Luke's right eyebrow quirked up and a slight smile touched his lips.

"No, child of my heart, I do not allow it. I have never wished to have such an intimate connection between him and me."

He saw the boy frown at his use of that term of endearment coupled with the belief that their mind-talk was somehow sexual. 'The child had a one-track mind though he denies that sex is important to him.'

'Intimate and illicit are two different things, Luke.'

Luke closed his eyes for a moment. Vader cupped Luke’s face with one hand and the boy’s eyes opened slowly to fix on Vader’s visor.

'I … I don’t wish to stop communicating this way even if it is … illicit. It makes me feel closer to you in a good way. I don’t want to lose that.'

'Brave child.'

Luke gave him a half-smile. 'You’ve no idea.'

'I might have some. You are my son after all. But I look forward to you surprising me.'

Vader was pleased when Luke did not draw away from his touch or their embrace. He wondered if it was a weakening in the boy’s resolve to deny their attraction for each other. He resisted the urge to look in Luke’s thoughts to confirm this theory. His son’s anger at his earlier intrusion was still too fresh between them to risk another uninvited stroll through Luke’s mind.

Vader switched over to speaking out loud again. "Do you wish to accompany me when I speak to the Emperor, Luke? Perhaps it would put your mind at ease that I have no intention of turning you over to him."

The boy nodded. "It is not that I am ... worried about what you might say to him, Father. It's just that I don't wish to be ... to be alone right now. If that's all right with you."

Vader smiled. 'Obi-Wan, you might as well have whipped the boy into my arms. Who else can he trust now that his dearest teacher has betrayed him? And now that teacher seeks to turn his friends into his deadliest enemies. I am the only one Luke has left.'

"Come, son. The holonet chamber is this way through our shared sitting room. Your quarters and mine are connected," Vader explained as he lightly put his hand at the base of Luke's spine and urged him towards the door.

It slid open with a whoosh and they entered the sitting room, one wall of which was a plasti-glass viewport revealing a wide swath of stars and a larger view of the gold-green planet, Black Heart than could be seen from Luke’s bedroom. Vader watched the slowly spinning sphere for a moment. He had much to thank that twisted place for and it was not done serving him yet. The Dark Side whispered to him that great knowledge was stored in the still functioning database in the temple. This information would be of use to explain his own and his son's deepening powers. He and Luke would have to return there together soon to download the material they needed and gather the unique and powerful light saber crystals that grew in the planet’s system of caves.

Vader, with Luke at his side, crossed through the comfortable sitting room. He noted that Luke's eyes took in the over-sized black leather couches and the Daika crystal table with a bowl of Saressian blood fruit in its center. Vader had ordered the fruit and various other treats for his son's eating pleasure. The Dark Lord knew that Luke would not be the only one to enjoy the food as he envisioned his son with crimson juice flowing down his chin after biting into one of the bulbous blood fruits. He marveled at his own desire for the child. 'I have not felt such hunger for another since Padme.' The thought lay there still born. She would not approve of his seduction of their son. She would be horrified. He glanced down at the golden head by his side as the neared the door to the holonet chamber. Shouldn't the knowledge of her censure lessen his desire for their child? But one glance up at him from Luke's luminous eyes and the thought disappeared. Padme was no longer with him. She had taken Obi-Wan's part and she had died.

"Through here, my son." Vader gestured and the door to the holonet chamber slid open.

Luke hesitated at the doorway.

"What is it, Luke?"

His son gave a little laugh. "I just realized that I have nothing on but my underwear and a blanket. Somehow that was not how I pictured being seen by the Emperor for the first time."

"He will only be able to see what is within a five foot diameter from the holonet itself. Remain outside that area and he will not see you at all," Vader assured him and gently patted the boys shoulder. “I will also continue to block his knowledge of your presence.”

Luke took a deep breath and walked into the holonet chamber. Already the bluish image of the Emperor seated on a dais was visible on the holonet's platform. Vader gestured for Luke to stand in the corner where he could see and hear everything that took place, but would be hidden from the Emperor's sight. Vader himself stepped within the holonet's field of vision, but he did not kneel, nor did he bow. He stood upright and made no greeting. These facts did not appear to register on the Emperor.

"Ah, Lord Vader, you took your time in coming to answer my summons."

Vader remained silent. Palpatine was fond of hearing his own voice and Vader had no desire to say anything.

“So my tardy apprentice, there was a ... disturbance … a ripple in the Force earlier. Did you feel it?"

Vader resisted the urge to laugh. 'Yes, old fool, that was me becoming one with the Dark Side and it was far more than a ripple.' "Yes, Palpatine, I ... experienced it."

The Emperor was silent for a moment, his robes seemed to shift around him as though a breeze were blowing, but Vader knew it was the Force power the Emperor wielded shifting the cloth as he sought to probe Vader’s thoughts. Vader allowed the Emperor to see only a few of his surface thoughts and feelings that revealed essentially nothing. The Emperor’s eyebrows had also lifted at the Dark Lord calling him by his given name. "Vader ... are you feeling well?"

"Very well." You are so used to me bowing and scraping and begging that you do not even realize what is missing with me merely standing before you like this.

The Emperors disfigured brow furrowed. His hands fluttered against the arms of his throne. "Have you found Skywalker yet?"

"Yes, I have my son here with me." 'In this chamber with me. Not that you know, because I block it from you as I have blocked all that occurred on Black Heart and all that will come to pass.'

"Excellent!" The old man cackled. "You must bring him to me now. Together we will turn him to the Dark Side and--"

"No." Vader said simply and heard his son give a startled gasp as if until this moment the boy had not truly believed that Vader did not want to corrupt him. This was the time to win Luke’s trust. What he said to the Emperor would not truly matter as the old Sith would not remember a word of it after this conversation.

"What?" Palpatine's voice cracked with surprise.

"Luke wishes to follow the Light Side of the Force. I believe he should be allowed to continue that path. It is the one he was made for after all."

Palpatine's mouth opened and shut several times. "Vader ... have you lost your mind?"

Vader give a bark of laughter. "No, Palpatine. I have lost ... and you have taken ... many things over the years, but my mind was not one of them.”

The Emperor leaned back in his throne, his fingers tapping an obscene melody against the throne's arms. "You are foolish and insane by showing me this blatant display of disobedience, Vader."

"Not in the least."

"Oh? Do you honestly believe that I will let this go?"

"Of course you will."

Palpatine's left eyebrow lifted. "And why would I do such a thing?"

"Because you will not recall this conversation as it actually occurred, but only as I wish you to remember it.”

Palpatine’s eyelids suddenly slid closed to half-mast as Vader spoke. Vader’s golden tones filled the room and flowed through the holonet link. “You will recall that you ordered me to keep the boy at my side until I see fit to bring him to Coruscant.”

The Emperor nodded, his actions slowed to almost half-speed.

“You will be pleased by all the actions I have taken and will not bother me with any requests until I come to see you. You will believe that everything is going according to your plan. Is that clear? Vader asked quietly.

"Yes, yes," Palpatine said and rubbed his brow as if felt a headache coming on. Suddenly his head lifted and he smiled hugely at the Dark Lord, revealing cracked teeth. "I am very pleased with you, my apprentice. Keep the boy with you until you believe he is ready to come to Coruscant. We will speak ... later."

The image of the Emperor winked out and only then did Vader turn to look at his son. Lukes mouth was opened in an 'o' of surprise.

"How ... how did you do that? I mean I saw Ben do it to some storm troopers in Mos Eisley, but he said they had weak minds! I would never think the Emperor was weak-minded."

"He is weak compared to me," Vader answered simply and Luke's stunned expression grew.

"What happened to you down on Black Heart exactly?"

“I changed. Or rather, I was given the opportunity to become what I always should have been.”

When Vader did not explain further, Luke pursed his lips in thought. It was clear the boy wanted to question him extensively. But answers would be best given on the planet's surface where Luke could see the evidence of their destiny together.

"You need to rest, my son. I know that you have many questions and I do have some answers to give you, but they would be best discussed after you have a chance to sleep and recover more fully from your encounter with the Viateen."

"The Viateen?"

"The snake-creatures from Black Heart."

Luke stiffened, his eyes going dark and wide, as he remembered his capture and torture. "They … the Viateen … wanted ... wanted to ...devour me.”

Vader's hands clenched into fists. 'He feels the violation so keenly. Why should that still surprise me even after seeing what a sensitive child he is? Killing the two who dared touch him was not enough.' But Vader was uncertain what would be enough. There were still other Viateen down on the planet's surface. The others now acknowledged him as the true Dark Lord. But he could never forgive them for standing by while his son was ravaged by others of their kind. He had not yet decided on what punishment he should unleash upon them. They might have a use yet so he was content to let them stew below, wondering what he would do, rather than rashly act.

"You need not fear them, my child. They have been brought to heel," Vader said quietly and reached to adjust the blanket more evenly around his son's shoulders to keep him warm.

Luke’s fear was broken by his touch. He saw the joy his gentle act had on Luke. The boy's face lit up with an incandescent smile. 'Has this child had no kindness in his young life? Has no one reached out to him?' Luke had all but intimated that none had. How could anyone resist him though? Huge blue eyes, golden skin and hair. 'Like one of those space angels I believed Padme once to be. It is inscrutable.' That Luke’s isolation only helped Vaders plan of seduction was not lost on the Dark Lord, but still he felt a sharp sense of injustice that his son had suffered such loneliness for no good cause. He will never be so alone again. Vader sent that thought through their bond and saw the boy blush and look down.

"Do I seem so needy to you, Father?" Luke asked, his eyes fixed on his own bare feet.

"Not needy. Just ... isolated. Perhaps we both have been," Vader answered. “Together we need not fear such loneliness any longer.”

'I am glad that I can help you also in some small way.' Luke sent through their bond instead of speaking.

'As am I.'

Vader wished to reach out and hold Luke at that moment, but the boy was still so skittish with such overt acts of affection. What also stopped Vader’s action was the fact that his respirator with its sharp buttons and switches was right at the level where Luke's head would rest against his chest in such an embrace. He had long ago accepted the limitations of his ruined form, but now it began to bother him for no other reason than it seemed designed to keep him and his son physically a part. He would have to think of ways in which to get around these difficulties. 'Perhaps I should send Luke to sickbay tomorrow in order to start his healing training. Possibly he could heal my lungs sufficiently to allow the respirator to be used only occasionally. Then at least I could embrace him fully.' The thought that Luke could possibly repair other parts of his body was too much to hope for and Vader did not wish to indulge in daydreams.

He took the boy back to his sleeping chambers and helped him crawl back in bed. Luke’s eyes were already drooping. Vader cast a sleep net with the Force around his son and Luke fell unconscious as soon as his head hit the pillow. The Dark Lord remained seated at Luke’s bedside the entire time the boy slept, keeping bad dreams at bay and planning their future together.

<<>>

Luke awoke to the sensation of the Dark Lord carding through his hair. He lay there for a moment with his eyes closed just to enjoy his father’s touch for a little longer. 'I know I should not, but surely normal fathers can touch their sons this way and it is not wrong.' Somehow he knew that his father had stayed with him while he slept and Luke tried not to enjoy that thought too much. He was not some baby to need his father to watch over him like a nightlight in the dark. 'Nor should I wish my father to remain in my bedroom with me for any other reason.' But he couldn’t help the happiness that flowed through him like warm honey.

“Are you going to sleep all the hours away, young one? Or will you open your eyes now?”

Blushing at his bluff being called, Luke opened his eyes. “Thank you for … staying with me.”

“I would wish to be no where else.”

Luke smiled and the happiness he felt inside seemed to triple. He stretched his arms above his head and stretched. His father chuckled.

“What?”

“You look like a lazy, well-petted cat.”

“I can’t help it. I haven’t slept this well since … since I can remember actually,” Luke answered, realizing how truly rested he felt and content. 'No need to fear Imperials or Vader coming to get me any more. I wonder how Leia, Han, Chewie and Threepio are doing? Perhaps Ben has already contacted Leia and she ... hates me now. Have I lost them all forever?' Then as Luke thought on all his friends. He realized that there was one that was closer to hand, but still missing. 'Force, I forgot about Artoo!'

“Father, on the planet ... with my ship … there was a droid … he—”

“I had your ship and your droid brought up. The ship is in the hanger bay being repaired and the droid is receiving maintenance.”

Luke sighed hugely. “Thank the Force.”

“The droid is special to you?” Vader traced a strange design over and over on the comforter with one finger when he asked that, not meeting his son’s gaze suddenly.

“He’s saved my butt more times than I can say,” Luke answered.

Still tracing the design and not looking at him, Vader said, “It is strange, but perhaps not as the Force works in many ways. Your droid was once mine.”

“That’s amazing, Father! Artoo never said anything about being owned by a Skywalker before, but his memory had probably been wiped since then.” Luke bolted upright in bed, a large smile on his face. 'To think that all along I had something of Father’s and I had no idea.'

“Yes, I once owned him and a protocol droid—”

“C-3PO?”

“Yes, how did you—”

“They were together when Uncle Owen bought them from the Jawas. Threepio is still with Leia and Han.”

“The droids were on Tatooine?”

“Yeah, they were … well, not that it matters now but … they were the droids your storm troopers were looking for when they killed Unc… they were the droids with the Deathstar plans.”

Vader stood abruptly. He went and stood by the viewport with his hands clasped behind his back.
“Father,” Luke began tentatively, suddenly unsure of his father’s mood. He began picking at the top of the comforter. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything … I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It is not your fault, child. Just to think that my own droids, one of which I built with my own hands, was used against me is … disturbing,” Vader explained and his voice was slightly clipped, but suddenly his tone warmed. “I am glad that Artoo at least was protecting you in some way.”

“He’s been … a great friend to me, I guess you could say. You didn’t have the techs wipe his memory, did you?”

“No, just repair the damage that was done by the Viateen.” Vader turned to face him again. “Why?”

Luke sighed. “I know that most people would think it strange, but Artoo is … like a person to me. I can’t imagine taking away his memories. It would be like wiping out his personality. Besides even though he’s quirky because of it, he also is more intuitive in helping me. He understands what I need from him before I do sometimes.”

Vader nodded briskly. “I felt the same way about him. I missed them both after Obi-Wan took them from me.”

Luke’s head jerked up. “What? But Ben when he saw them acted like he never knew them! He even said he didn’t recall owning any droids!”

“Well, he never did own them, so in his philosophy of truth telling, I suppose that wasn’t all a lie.”
Luke shook his head. “I don’t understand him at all … or how he can be considered a Jedi and not a Sith. I mean how can lying be right and loving too much be wrong? Everything he and Yoda taught me seems ... incomplete, somehow.”

“The Jedi philosophy is flawed. The Jedi based their rules on what actions or emotions they saw as leading to the Light or Dark Side, but it was never as … set in stone as they claimed it was. In fact, the circular logic of many of their rules and restrictions lead many to be called Dark Jedi who were not and vice versa.”
Luke observed his father closely for a moment as Vader smoothed down the front of his uniform. “Is the way of the Sith any better?”

“No.”

Luke’s eyes widened at that. “But you follow it, don’t you?”

“I did, but I have known for years it was just as flawed a philosophy.”

“Then what is the right way?”

Vader sat on the edge of the bed again and his weight caused Luke to slide towards his father. Luke’s whole left flank ended up being pressed against Vader’s side and Luke flushed. Vader put a hand down on the bed on the other side of him, essentially trapping Luke where he was. Luke felt almost dizzy from the feeling of his father’s strong form against his. And his father’s scent of leather and something warm and spicy wrapped around him leaving him in an almost warm hazy glow.

“On the planet, in the temple, there are answers, Luke. The truth of the Force and our place in it are there. I wish us to go back down to the surface and view them together.”

“Back to Black Heart?” Luke’s voice was hardly above a whisper. His earlier arousal felt as if it had been doused with ice water.

His father moved the hand he had placed on the bed at Luke’s side and slid it underneath Luke’s legs, pulling the boy closer as he did so. “I know you are afraid to go back there, child, but you need not be. I will be with you.”

Trembling from his father’s closeness and his fear of the planet, Luke said, “But the Viateen—”

“They will do nothing to you. They serve the Dark Side and … me, now.”

Luke wrapped his arms around his chest. He wanted to pull his legs up, too, but Vader held them firmly. “I … I don’t know if I can do it, Father.”

“You can, child. It is necessary for many reasons. Not the least of which is to face the violation that was done to you there.”

“You don't understand! I tried to use my light saber on them, but as soon as I would cut them down they would reform and come at me again! Until one of them ripped … ripped my hand off. It laughed at me and said … things … about what it was going to do to me when it got me on the … altar.” Luke shook and Vader rubbed his shoulders and biceps.

“I destroyed those that touched you. If you wish it … I will destroy all of them before we go back there.”
Luke’s eyes widened in horror. “No! I don’t want that!”

“But if it is the only way you will return to Black Heart, I will be forced to do it anyway,” Vader said softly.

Luke dropped his head down onto his chest, gripping his own biceps tightly, “You do not need to destroy them. I will go even if a whole army of them is there to greet us.”

“It is wise to face your fears, young one, rather than to let them rule you.”

“Would you really destroy a whole race just for—”

“For you? Yes, child of my heart. I would do far more than that.”

Vader’s mask seemed to dip closer to his face and Luke felt his father’s love for him over their bond. The red warmth of Vader’s mind-presence filled him and Luke shivered with it. 'No wonder the Jedi feared loving too much if it can lead a person to annihilate a whole species. But to think he feels that much for me! I can hardly believe it.' Luke reached up and held his fingers just centimeters above the mask’s surface. Vader’s breath even though regulated by the respirator seemed to catch when he did this. The Dark Lord did not move.

“I am not worth so much, Father,” Luke whispered as he let his fingers rest against the mask. There was a flash of light and Luke saw a face superimposed over the mask. It was bald, pale as milk, with yellow bags under the eyes, a hawk-like nose, a shrunken mouth and long gashes, almost like fissures, over the top of the skull. Blinking and eyes tearing from the bright flash, Luke dropped his hands down.

“Young one, what is it?”

“I … I saw your face.”

“What?” There was a tremor in Vader’s voice. “My face … as it is now?”

“I … I don’t know, but I think—”

Vader was suddenly on his feet, hands clenching into fists spasmodically. His breathing was far more rapid than it should have been. “You should not have looked! I did not want you to … why did you have to … now you know and will not want … will not…”

Luke reached out towards his father. “It changes nothing of how I feel for you! Father, please, it’s all right. I didn’t mean to look. I didn’t know I could! Please, please don’t be angry or … afraid.”

Vader stared at him, those obsidian eyes reflecting only Luke’s own form back at him. His father’s voice was so cold as he said, “I must go to the Bridge now, Luke, for a few hours. There is a sonic shower and clothes that should fit you in the closet. And there is breakfast set out for you in the sitting room.”

Luke threw the covers back and stepped out of bed towards his father. Vader retreated one step. Then as if realizing what he had done, the Dark Lord stepped closer to Luke than he had been originally.

“Father, please, don’t leave like this.”

“I am trying to stop a confrontation between us, young one.”

“Confrontation? What? Why?”

“You are lying to me again!”

“What do you think I am lying to you about?”

“That your feelings have not changed since you … saw me. The ruin that is now me,” Vader hissed.

“That’s not a lie,” Luke answered and kept his voice level and calm. He did not back up when his father loomed over him.

With a bitter laugh, Vader said, “Oh, truly? Are you telling me that you are just as attracted to the visage that you saw I now bear, scarred and horrible, as you were for the clean-limbed youth I was in your dream?”

“Yes.”

“Liar! Poor liar at that!”

Luke refused to flinch at his father’s vindictive tone. He could imagine the pain that his disfigurement caused his father. To be stripped of the mask without it physically leaving him must have been a shock at the very least. 'And if I am to convince him that I am not lying I must be totally honest with him and with myself about how incredibly sexually drawn to him I am even now as he tries to terrorize me.'

“How you look is not what has ever attracted me to you.” Luke raised a hand up to stop his father from interrupting. “I am not saying that I did not find the youth in the dream beautiful. But that wasn’t what drew me in.”

Vader snorted, his hands tightly clenched in front of him.

Luke pressed on. “It was you … the essence of you that made me and makes me … want so many things I shouldn’t … things I don’t even understand fully. That essence of you has not changed. No, that’s not quite true. You are more you now than you were in any of those dreams. And I … I still, even as I stand here, knowing how you look under the mask, want to … to have you touch me like you did last night. Even though I know its wrong for me to want it. Even though I know it might damn us both to eternal darkness. I still want you, Father.”

“You expect me to believe these … wild protestations of desire?” Even though Vader’s words were still angry, his whole form seemed to relax and Luke felt the slightest caress of his father’s mind against his own.

“Not from my mouth. But from my mind. I give you permission, Father, to look into my mind and see for yourself if I lie or not.”

Luke braced himself for the invasion. He opened himself up to their bond as far as he could and waited, arms tense at his side, jaw clenched as if expecting pain. Vader cocked his head to the side, watching him for long moments.

“I believe you, child of my heart,” he said softly.

Luke gasped. “But you haven’t … you haven’t looked inside my head yet!”

“I do not have to.”

Luke swallowed back tears. His father believed him. It felt like a step forward in their relationship. But Luke felt that he wanted to do something more … give his father more assurance. Luke reached up for his father’s mask again. The Dark Lord froze, but did not stop him from touching the mask once more. Luke saw his father’s ruined face superimposed over the durasteel again. He pulled his father’s head down so that their faces were a mere inch apart. Trembling so badly he thought he would collapse on the floor, Luke leaned forward and kissed the mask hard and long where it covered his father’s lips. There was only the metallic taste of durasteel, not his father’s flavor, but it had to be enough for now.

“I would do this if there was no mask between us, Father. I would do it again and again and again if I could,” Luke said, his voice shaking as badly as his body.

Vader caught his arms as Luke began to crumple down to the floor and drew Luke against his chest as gently as the respirator would allow. His voice was so soft as he said, “I thought you were … fighting this attraction between us, my son.”

“I am … was. I don’t know what to do any more. I love you and I can’t stop … desiring you. I just know that I don’t wish to hurt you. And acting on my desire this time seemed like it would hurt you less than denying it.” Luke wrapped his arms around his father’s waist and held him tight.

Vader was silent for some minutes, rocking his son gently, before he said, “Thank you, Luke.”

“I love you, Father,” Luke murmured from where his face was stuffed against his father’s arm.

“And I you, child of my heart.”

After long moments, Luke felt his father reluctantly urging him to let go.

“I am sorry, Luke, but I truly must go to the Bridge now. I was not … lying about that earlier just to get away.”

Luke nodded and wiped away the tears that had fallen. Vader gently caressed his cheek.

“When you are ready, the storm troopers outside our quarters will take you to Sick Bay. You should practice your healing powers.”

“On people?” Luke couldn’t keep the shock out of his voice.

“I have made arrangements with Dr. Nakima to provide you with … volunteers.”

Even though he was hesitant to start another argument with his father after what they had just gone through, Luke had to know if the people he was to practice on were there of their own free will. “Father, are these volunteers really volunteers or were they conscripted into service as guinea pigs?”

“They are brain damaged troopers and will die once taken off life support. So nothing you do can hurt them any more than they already are.”

Luke gave a gasp of sorrow. Vader touched his chin lightly for a moment to calm him.

“How …”

“Were they injured? They were quelling a Rebel assault on Tanos IV.”

Luke worried his lower lip and looked away from Vader. 'How many people have died because of this war? Will it be worth it if the Empire falls if millions have died?' Luke realized then that millions already had died. After all weren’t there at least a million souls on the Deathstar when he blew it to smithereens? 'I alone have caused a catastrophic death toll in this conflict and Ben urged me to do it.' Knowing that it had saved his friends and the other rebels somehow didn’t console him as much as it used to. How lucky was he that his father was flying that day and not on the Bridge of the Deathstar? What if he had killed his father then? 'I would have flown my X-Wing straight into Yavin’s surface when I realized what I had done. My father’s life is worth more to me than the million other souls I destroyed. Maybe Ben is right to be afraid of us.'

Luke shook himself as he realized his father was watching him carefully. Once he seemed sure that Luke was paying attention again and not ruminating, he said, “The troopers’ families already believe them to have died so … if you make any errors on them … no one but you and I will know.”

Luke let out a harsh exhale of breath. “Perhaps it isn’t such a good idea that I practice on people at all. Even if these men are to … die … it does not seem right to torture their poor bodies more.”

“They are beyond feeling, child. This is the best way to improve your abilities. Think of those you could help if you had control of your healing powers.”

“You did not see the mistakes I made when I was Yoda’s apprentice. Father, I am not--”

“That was more likely Yoda’s method of teaching rather than your inability to learn. You are different than any other apprentice he had ever had and you are even more different now. Trust yourself … as I do.” Vader punctuated that last statement by tilting Luke’s head up to look at him.

Luke felt a lightening in his chest. To hear his father intimate that he had pride and belief in him was overwhelming. Luke had a feeling that these things, just like his trust, were not earned lightly. Luke nodded. Vader ran his fingers through Luke’s hair and turned to leave the room. Just as Vader reached the doorway, Luke called out to him.

“Father! Thank you. I won’t … won’t disappoint you.”

“Learning is always difficult, Luke, with its successes and failures. All I expect is that you do what you can as best as you can. I will join you in the Sick Bay in two standard hours.”


<<>>

Luke had showered, dressed and eaten. He was still amazed at the beauty of the clothes his father had left for him in the two huge closets. Tunics, pants and leather boots all in the darkest, softest black he had ever seen. They mirrored the Jedi warrior uniform he had worn on Black Heart that was destroyed by the Viateen. But these clothes were of far greater quality. The cloth when it moved across his skin felt almost like a caress. He was glad he had chosen to eat the blood fruit while leaning over the glass table as the juice seemed to want to spurt over everything and he was anxious not to spoil any of his new clothes.

The troopers who greeted him outside the door to his and his father’s chambers were polite if distant. He caught each of them more than once turning their heads to look at him. 'Why are they so curious about me? Do they know who I am? Do they know what I am to Vader?' For one moment, Luke wondered if they thought he was Vader’s lover and he felt a flash of heat run through him.

The troopers ushered him into Sick Bay and left to await him outside the door once he was finished practicing. There was only a white medi-tech droid present.

“Hello, how may MD-357 serve you today?” The droid asked as it trundled over to him.

“I’m here to see Dr. Nakima.”

“Unfortunately, Dr. Nakima has left due to an emergency.”

“Oh, well, do you know when she’ll be back?”

“Unknown. Is there something that I may help you with today?”

Luke worried at his lower lip. He was anxious to start practicing his healing powers. Though he did not want to tell his father this, he still wished to heal him. It would take away a lot of his father’s pain and disgust for himself if some of his disfigurement could be healed. Luke came to a decision.

“Yes, MD-357, I wish to see the troopers that are on life support. I have been granted permission to ... to work on them.”

“Ah, yes, the troopers that were on life support. This way, this way,” the droid answered and wheeled forward into a doorway that lead into a smaller room in the backwith four medi-beds.

Luke wondered if the troopers’ conditions had improved based on the droid’s comment about the troopers no longer being on life support. But before he could ask the droid, there was a commotion in the room they left as another one of the ill soldiers had awoken and needed pain medication. Luke turned to look at the four men, no, boys, perhaps even younger than me, that were lying on the medi-beds.
Each had close-cropped haircuts and large muscular bodies. The skin visible on each man was pale and drawn. Wounds to the men’s heads and necks looked like livid blooms against the white flesh. Sheets were identically drawn up to their chests and their arms lay straight on either side of their bodies. Each man’s eyes were closed and Luke had the bizarre desire to know what their eye colors were. The room was so quiet that he could almost believe he was the only living person in it, but when he reached out to each of the men with the Force he could feel weak flickering flames of white light indicating the presence of their spirits. Satisfied with what he felt, Luke dropped down to the floor into a lotus position and began to meditate. He needed to be absolutely clear and calm before he attempted to help the men.

He allowed his consciousness to gather the four flames he saw to him. Without knowing exactly why he did this, he began to feed the flames little bits of Light Side Force energy that existed in the room. The flames began to brighten and grow. Luke swore he could feel the warmth from the men’s spirits all around him. As their flames got bigger the warmth seemed to seep into every pore of his skin. It allowed Luke to feel his own spiritual flame. His was like a bonfire in comparison to the men’s who were more like the flickering flames of candles. He touched each of their lights with his own and felt and saw them explode with life. Interestingly, instead of his own fire becoming lessened by the contact, it seemed to grow fractionally greater. His first clue that this envisioned touching of spiritual Force energy was truly helping the men physically was when he heard four almost identical inhales of breath from the men on the medi-beds. Then he heard coughing and sputtering. Luke opened his eyes to the sight of the troopers all sitting upright on the medi-beds, holding their heads in their hands, groaning and trying to talk.

The trooper closest to his left side was the first to turn and look at him. The man’s eyes are green. Forest green. Luke felt his heart beating a staccato rhythm in his chest. Hadn’t his father said these men were brain dead? They certainly weren’t now! And he hadn’t even touched them. The wounds that had been on their faces and necks were also healed. It had been so easy! Nothing he had ever done, except flying, had ever come to him so naturally. Perhaps I am meant to be a healer!

Luke quickly rose up and walked over to the side of the medi-bed of the trooper with green eyes. He said, “How are you feeling?”

The trooper furrowed his brow for a moment then answered, “Good. I feel ... pretty good. Like I slept for a week.” The green-eyed trooper smiled hugely at him then. “Sir ... I ... you seem familiar to me. Did we serve together or ... something?”

Luke grinned. “I’m a little short to be a trooper like you. So no, we didn’t serve together. I just ... was helping to heal you. You were in a battle and were hurt, but you’re all right now. Or you will be as soon as Dr. Nakima comes to check you out.”

Luke glanced at the other three men in the room. One set of brown eyes, one set of gray and the last set is blue. All were looking at him with curiosity, intelligence and ... warmth. Yes, he saw warmth there as if they sub-consciously knew what he had done for them. He had never felt such a sense of accomplishment before. He had helped people, truly helped them, in an amazing way that only a Force-sensitive person could do. He couldn’t wait for his father to know! As if answering his wish, he heard and felt Vader enter the Sick Bay at that moment, over half a standard hour early. He was speaking with what must be Dr. Nakima.

“My gods, MD-357, you didn’t send him in there, did you?” Dr. Nakima’s voice was gravelly almost as if she smoked Ilurian tabac sticks too often.

Without waiting for an answer, Vader was already coming through the doorway into the chamber with Luke and the troopers as the droid began to speak. Vader froze as he took in the sight of the four men sitting upright and Luke grinning at him from the green-eyed troopers’ side.

“Father! Look, they’re awake! I was able to wake them and they seem ... okay. At least, they tell me that they feel good.” Luke was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement.

When they saw Vader, the troopers attempted to scramble up to salute. “Lord Vader!” Each man cried in unison, obviously shocked that their supreme commander should be in their sick room.

“Don’t get up yet!” Luke urged and gestured for the men to ease back under the covers. “You may not be fully recovered.”

Dr. Nakima rushed in at that moment, her black eyes widening and a gasp breaking from her red lips. She made a strange sign in front of her chest and grasped the front of her white uniform. “But this is impossible--”

Vader cut her off with a wave of one powerful hand. “We will not discuss this here. Men, at ease. Rest now. The doctor will be in to see you shortly.”

The troopers nodded and Luke saw them only fractionally relax. Their curious, awed faces still riveted to Vader. Luke was absurdly proud at that moment at the respect his father invited from these men that served him. It outshone his own pride in himself for helping the troopers. Vader gestured for Luke and the doctor to proceed him through the chamber door. Luke felt he flew more than walked out the door, his good mood was so powerful. As soon as Vader exited the chamber he gestured for the door to shut.

“Now,” his deep bass voice rumbled. “Dr. Nakima, are you positive that these troopers--”

“They were as I told you, Lord Vader!” The doctor was shaking, Luke realized, and her normally creamy golden skin was an unnatural shade of gray. Shock was the only explanation for her look and the fact that she would interrupt his father, Luke guessed.

“What did you tell him about the troopers?” Luke asked.

Vader turned and held him in that obsidian gaze for a long time. Then he reached out and grasped his son’s shoulder as though to steady him for bad news. Luke’s gaze flicked from him to the shaken doctor.

“What is the matter, Father? Dr. Nakima? The troopers ... they seem fine. I mean I know they have yet to be checked out and all, but they ... I believe they will be all right. The Force tells me so.”

“I have no doubt as to what you say, Luke,” Vader’s voice was quiet, but intense for all its low tones. “It is what they were before you ... helped them that has ... shocked the doctor and ... myself, slightly.”

“And what were they? Please, make me understand. You told me they were brain dead and ...”

The doctor looked at him with fear and shock in her black eyes. She moistened her dry lips with her tongue before speaking. “They were not only brain dead when you ... when you went in to see them. They were ... fully dead.”

Luke shook his head at her. “No, you’re wrong. That’s impossible! They ...”

Then he remembered what the droid had said about the troopers no longer being on life support, the silence in the troopers’ room, the lack of movement of the troopers' chests, and the gray pallor of their flesh. Luke began to shake his head violently. His father’s grip on him tightened.

“No! They were alive ... they must have been ... I felt their spirits! Father, I felt their spirits!”

Vader pulled him into his embrace. Luke did not care when he was pressed against the knobs and buttons of the respirator, he had to get as close as he possibly could to his father. Had to hold onto his father’s strength for all he was worth.

Dr. Nakima’s hoarse voice cut through Luke’s denial like a saber. “The troopers were dead. And you ... you brought them back to life.”