I Never Knew

Anakin had been aware of Padme and Bail’s relationship for quite some time now. He had no idea that she would know about he and Obi-Wan, hell, he hadn’t even known himself until some few hours ago!

As he sat beside Padme on the bed he realized he wasn’t even angry about her affair. It only made sense that she had gone and found someone else. Anakin was never around for more than a few days at a time and even that was only sporadically. And why not Bail Organa? He was a politician like Padme, they had similar ideas and goals within the senate, and yes, he was a handsome man. The appreciative looks from Padme were not unnoticed on Anakin’s part. Besides, was he not just on his knees in front of Obi-Wan, ready and willing to please? Was he not about to go ahead and finally fuck the man he had been fantasizing about for years; the man he fantasized about quite often while he was fucking his wife.

“Tell you about me and Obi-Wan?”, his voice was shaky. “I, ahh…, I am not sure what to say Padme.”

“Tell me the truth, Anakin.”, she replied as she placed her hand upon his. “Just tell me the truth.” Padme could see that her husband was not sure how much of the truth he was willing to tell. Absentmindedly placing her other hand on her belly, she realized how unsure she was of telling her own truth.

“The truth is that I love him.”, Anakin finally said. “I have always loved him. I loved you too Padme, it was just…different love.” He did not look at Padme, could not look at her, his wife. “We are different people, Padme, we live in different worlds. As much as I wanted you and as much as I needed you to be mine, there was always , I don’t know, always something missing.”

“I know, Anakin. Don’t you think I have always known, as you did? You don’t think I sensed it? Hell, Mr. Anakin super fucking hero Skywalker, everyone knew. It was right there for all to see, I just didn’t care. You were always so damn sexy, so needy. You didn’t need me to be yours, Anakin, I needed you to be mine.”

“Super fucking hero? Padme, don’t you think…”

“Shut up, okay, just shut up! Let me finish. I knew you wanted him, I could see it in your eyes. I could feel it in your touch. I can’t explain it, Anakin. I never knew why, it was just a feeling, then the dreams started.”, Padme suddenly went quiet.

“Dreams? What dreams, Padme?”, Anakin questioned.

“I started having dreams about you and him. Well, not dreams really, more like visions. I had a vision of you two in the Temple Gardens. You were holding him, he was crying. It was beautiful, you were beautiful. I heard Qui-Gon’s voice, but I could not see him. I felt no anger, Anakin, nor do I feel any now. Why would I? I have also betrayed you, betrayed our bond. I love Bail. He is good to me, he loves me.” Padme suddenly stopped. There was something else she was about to say, she knew Anakin would sense that.

“What? What else is there, Padme? Is there something you are not telling me?”

Padme pondered for a moment, wondering if she should tell Anakin. Does he need to know that she is with child, his child? Would he know it if she lied? Just as she thought she might tell him, another vision came to her. It was a vision of a life that she could have, a life that she wanted, always just out of her reach.

No, Anakin does not need to know. He will never know.

“No. It is nothing. I was starting to feel a bit uneasy again, I think I am just tired. Let me sleep now, Ani. Go to Obi-Wan. Make it happen, Anakin, fulfill your destiny.” She said with a slight chuckle.

Anakin started for the door. Making it happen sounded like a great idea. Before he got to the door, he turned to ask Padme something. He wanted to make sure she was alright. They had so quickly dismissed her little fainting spell earlier that he hadn’t had a chance to follow up on it. But as he turned to her, he found she was already asleep. He started out the door, eager to meet his destiny.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------