For This Moment

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Chapter 6


I walk at Anakin’s side nervously, sure that the glances sent our way pierced through our calm exterior to see the passion that had blazed between us all night. We would sleep, and then I would wake up to feel Anakin’s hand stroking me to hardness, feel his breath on my throat as he whispered his adoration, and then he would slip inside me once more. He seemed desperate to make his mark on me, but there was no need.

For I am his in every way it is possible to belong to someone else.

Now we are on our way to claim his children, bring them back to the apartment we’ve been sharing for the past few days. Will he ask me to leave now? What will the Council have to say on the matter if I stay much longer? Do they know?

I am surprised the whole Temple did not shake with the force of his shouts last night. I have discovered that my lover is quite loud when he reaches his climax. I have begun to fear deafness as a result of loving him, but it is a price I am willing to pay. The feel of him, inside me, around me, close to me, makes anything worthwhile.

The doors slide open and there is Bant. She looks at me with sad and knowing eyes. She fears for me, sure that my heart will be broken. I meet her eyes calmly, and give her a reassuring smile. She is not reassured.

Bant places Luke in my arms and Leia in Anakin’s and gives them each a fond caress. “Feeding supplies and instructions are in this bag,” she tells him. “And I’ll be stopping by later to check on them.” She glances at me. “Obi-Wan should stay with you for a while to help out,” she says, loudly enough for the others in the ward to hear.

Bant has decided to help me stay with my Anakin. Perhaps we have more allies than I guessed.

Carefully, as if the babies are made of precious Alderaani glass, we make our way back to the apartment. Luke blinks at the lights above, seemingly fascinated. Leia looks at her father with wide eyes. Anakin has a second bedroom, intended for the Padawan he was expected to take eventually. He had fashioned two small cribs for them, though for now we place both babies in one crib. He tells me they will sleep better if they are close, and if the way they gravitate toward each other is any indication, he is right.

We decide to enjoy the quiet while we can, because babies are notorious for being noisy, and Anakin’s children are no exception to this rule. He sits back on the couch, and then opens his arms, inviting me into his embrace. Gladly, I slide into his arms, savoring their warm strength as he rests his chin on my head.

“Will you stay with me?” he asks quietly, his voice unsure.

“If you want me to,” I answer without hesitation.

He sighs and pulls me closer. “Not just for a little while,” he whispers. “Not just to help with Luke and Leia…” He lifts my chin and places a tender kiss on the mole above my eye. “I love you, Obi-Wan, and I’m not willing to give up love again, not even for the Jedi.”

My heart begins to pound faster, for he has offered both my fondest wish and deepest fear. To love Anakin would be the fulfillment of the strongest desire of my heart. But if it comes to leaving the Order to love him, would I have the strength to do that? He senses my thoughts, how could he not?

“If it comes to that, I’ll leave the Order,” he offers. “And I’ll get an apartment close by…” Another kiss that steals my breath.

I do not want to think about sneaking around to see him, hiding my feelings for him even one more second of my life, so I pull his lips to mine. Feeling replaces thought, heat pushes away worry.

The Jedi Order is my soul, but Anakin Skywalker is my heart. I cannot live without either of them.

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The Past…

Anakin’s eyes sought out Quinn in the dimly lit club. He spied him sitting in a corner, two drinks already on the table. The older man looked up and grinned. The young Jedi made his way through the crowd, not even noticing the hot glances thrown his way. Quinn noticed, though, and felt a surge of possessive pride in his lover.

“Quinn,” Anakin breathed when he reached the table.

“Anakin, you look amazing,” Quinn said as his eyes roamed up and down his lean frame.

He had found the clothing at the bottom of his closet, a long forgotten souvenir of an undercover mission. The black leather pants hugged every centimeter of his body, from the long muscular legs to the firm, rounded buttocks. A silky white shirt set off his golden skin to perfection, while allowing a tantalizing glimpse of the smoothly muscled chest beneath.

“You look good enough to eat,” Quinn teased with a gleam in his eyes.

“That was the idea,” Anakin answered as he sat down. He took a sip of his drink and smacked his lips in appreciation. “That’s good.”

Leaning forward, Quinn whispered in Anakin’s ear, “Can you come home with me tonight? For a little while at least?” His breath was hot against Anakin’s skin and the young man shivered. He turned so that his lips brushed against Quinn’s mouth.

“Actually…” Their eyes met. “I have all night,” Anakin whispered. “My Master won’t be back until tomorrow.”

Quinn’s eyes widened and then he gave Anakin a devilish grin. “All night, huh?”

Nodding solemnly, he reached for Quinn’s hand. “And I was wondering if…” His lashes swept down for a moment before he locked eyes with the older man. “I was wondering if we could maybe… Well, I think I’d like to learn that lesson, you know, the one we’ve been putting off.”

“Are you sure?” Quinn asked in a husky voice. Already the blood was rushing to his groin. He had dreamed of making Anakin his, of feeling the tight grip of that gorgeous body pulling him in, deeper and deeper until he exploded inside of him. But he had been patient, unwilling to push him too hard or fast, knowing that this first time would set the tone for his future lovers. He knew that Anakin was not his to keep, he had seen something lurking there in those blue eyes, but he intended to make many fond memories with him before the young Jedi moved on.

Anakin nodded. Immediately, Quinn got to his feet and took the drink from Anakin’s hand. “Unh uh,” he scolded. “I want you sober.”

The two men left the club, their arms wrapped around each other’s waists. They stopped every few steps and tenderly kissed. The walk to Quinn’s place took much longer than it should have but neither of them minded. When the door slid open and Anakin stepped inside, Quinn immediately pushed the young man against the wall, pinning his hands up by his head as he swept his tongue into Anakin’s mouth. With subtle thrusts of his hips, Quinn pressed against Anakin, eliciting a grunt of need from the young Jedi.

Quinn knew that Anakin could have freed himself at any moment, even without the Force. But he sensed the boy liked the feeling of being slightly out of control. Anakin moaned low in his throat. “Yes, I do…” he whispered, shocking Quinn.

Moving to take both of Anakin’s wrists in one hand, Quinn snaked his free hand between them to unfasten Anakin’s pants first and then his own. Once that was accomplished, he reached down and curled his fingers around Anakin’s erection.

He stroked Anakin and felt the young man buck against him in response. “Oh, I think you’ve been looking forward to this almost as much as I have,” Quinn purred in Anakin’s ear.

“Want…you…inside me…now!” Anakin panted in time to Quinn’s strokes.

“Oh gods, you have no idea how much I want that, too,” Quinn moaned, releasing his hold on Anakin’s wrists.

Immediately, Anakin began tearing at the other man’s shirt. As soon as it was removed, he dropped to his knees and pushed Quinn’s pants aside, running his fingertips up the length of Quinn’s cock, smiling when he hissed at the touch. Then Anakin lapped at the crown, swirling his tongue as he wrapped his fingers around the shaft. Quinn’s hands dropped to Anakin’s head and he pushed into the heat of the mouth engulfing him. He gave a few short, jerky thrusts and then pulled himself free with a groan. “I want to be inside you when I come,” he whispered urgently.

Anakin surged to his feet and pulled Quinn toward the bedroom. Using the Force to open the door, he was barely aware of the crash it made or the wide-eyed look Quinn was giving him. As soon as they crossed the threshold, Anakin began sliding his pants down his slim hips and toeing off his boots. In less than a minute, he was nude, his golden flesh gleaming in the dim light, his erection jutting out proudly from the next of curls.

Quinn swallowed hard at the sight and then removed his own clothing. When he was as bare as Anakin, he went to him and drew the young Jedi in close for a kiss. Falling to the bed, Anakin took Quinn with him, their lips never losing contact. Quinn rolled, pinning Anakin beneath him. He trailed one hand down the heaving chest, the trembling belly, and then stopped just below Anakin’s navel. Tenderly, he smiled. “Are you sure, baby?” he whispered. Unable to speak, Anakin nodded. Quinn laughed softly. “Okay then,” he said. He leaned down and kissed Anakin, slowly increasing the pressure of his mouth and moving his hands all over Anakin’s body.

Anakin wrapped his long legs around Quinn’s waist and used the leverage to thrust up, grinding their erections together. Finally, Quinn broke away for a moment and reached over to a cabinet by the bed. He held up a small vial of oil with a triumphant smile.

“We could start more simply,” he told the young man. “You inside of me would certainly fulfill a number of my fantasies,” Quinn added with a wicked grin.

For an answer, Anakin pulled Quinn down so he could whisper in his ear. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, Quinn,” he explained in a husky voice. “Don’t make me wait any longer.”

Quinn groaned his agreement and leaned up to open the bottle. He poured a generous amount into his palm and then held Anakin’s hand open while he did the same. At Anakin’s curious look, Quinn wrapped the Jedi’s hand around his cock = he got the idea.

Tossing the now empty bottle aside, Quinn rubbed the oil between his hands, thrusting his hips into Anakin’s strokes. Abruptly, he reached down and stilled the hands on him. “I’ll explode if you keep that up,” he said in a tight voice.

His hands roamed down Anakin’s chest, cupping his sac and then brushing along his straining erection. Anakin’s eyes watched his every move, his gaze feverish. Quinn’s fingers moved down to the young man’s entrance and he lightly pressed one fingertip inward. Anakin jerked and Quinn made soothing sounds low in his throat. With his free hand, he caressed Anakin’s body as he slowly worked his fingertip through the ring of muscle. Anakin relaxed and was soon arching up, his hands clutching at Quinn’s shoulders.

Deciding that his eager young lover was ready for more, Quinn slipped a second finger inside the tight sheath. There was a moment of resistance and then he was welcomed in. Stroke – kiss – soft whispers. Stroke – caress – quiet moans from both of them as their cocks brushed against each other.

Their tongues rubbed, stroked, caressed as Quinn eased a third finger inside Anakin. The young man’s eyes went wide for a moment and then he visibly willed himself to relax – accept. As he watched Anakin, flushed with desire, rocking beneath him in time to the thrusts of his hand, Quinn was tempted to flip the young man over and bury himself in one stroke. He knew he could build Anakin’s pleasure to the point that he would find fulfillment in spite of the rough beginning, but Quinn found himself strangely reluctant to do so. He had never cared much in the past for such things; indeed, he would have run away from a virgin as fast as his legs could carry him. But something about this boy/man brought out his protective instincts and he knew he’d rather call the whole thing off than ruin it for Anakin.

He increased his attentions to Anakin, and finally sensed the moment was at hand. He pulled his fingers free, eliciting a cry of protest from Anakin. “I want you so much,” Quinn whispered.

Anakin reached down and wrapped his long fingers around Quinn’s thick erection. Quinn’s eyes rolled back in his head and then he lightly nudged Anakin’s legs farther apart. The young man looked confused for just a moment. Quinn murmured, “I want to watch you…”

When Quinn settled into the space between Anakin’s legs, he started to lick and nip at Anakin’s throat. The head of his cock was gently pushing against Anakin, and with slow, short strokes he eased the crown inside. “Oh gods, you feel good,” Quinn cried out. He kept a steady pace, easing inside carefully. Whenever Anakin seemed to be in pain, Quinn would stop, touch and caress the young man until his body relaxed once more.

Finally, with a sigh of satisfaction, he thrust all the way inside and rested his forehead on Anakin’s for a moment. Both men were panting, trembling.

“I’ve got to move,” Quinn ground out apologetically.

Experimentally, Anakin tightened his muscles around Quinn. The older man grunted and gave a tentative push forward and a slow glide back out.

“Yes,” Anakin hissed. “More.”

Closing his eyes briefly, Quinn thrust forward slowly. “Gods…” he groaned.

Below him, Anakin’s eyes rolled back and his hands clenched in the sheets. He thrust up, demanding that Quinn increase his pace. More than willing to oblige, Quinn moved more quickly, stroking in deeper and harder. He retained just enough presence of mind to wrap his hand around Anakin’s cock, stroking it in time to his thrusts.

Anakin cried out first, spilling hotly over Quinn’s hand. Quinn followed him a few strokes later, calling out Anakin’s name. Then he collapsed on top of Anakin, utterly exhausted. Their foreheads touching, Quinn smiled. “Amazing…,” he panted. He smiled tenderly and brushed back Anakin’s hair. To his shock, a tear traced its way down Anakin’s cheek.

“Did I hurt you?” Quinn asked fearfully.

Almost angrily, Anakin brushed away the tear and tried to smile. “No.”

Quinn stared at him for a moment and then asked gently. “Who is he?”

For a moment, Anakin’s face tightened, then he closed his eyes and pulled Quinn close. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the young Jedi replied.

With a sigh, Quin put his head on his lover’s chest and held the young man in his arms until he fell asleep. Quinn got up and poured himself a drink. He sat in a chair and watched Anakin Skywalker sleep.

For the first time in many years, Quinn felt his heart break.

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