Law and Love

Author’s Note: Thank you so very much for my friend Kathy (kittie8571) who is the Beta of this story!

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Chapter Six: Sweet jealousy

Ennis awoke at the sound of the alarm clock, rubbing his eyes with slow movements. He opened his eyes and fought the clarity brought on by the lamp he'd just switched on. It was another day at the Magnet firm; another morning equal to all others this last month.

Just as he was about to move, he felt the hardness of his own cock and in his head images of last night’s dream about Jack appeared. Jack could have been miles and miles away, but every single night, he'd return to haunt his dreams like a curse fought by the mind but that the soul cannot be rid of.

He cursed out loud and walked to the bathroom. Ennis didn’t touch himself, deciding instead to take a long, cold shower. It was his last stand against the betrayal of his mind and body. This ritual was becoming more and more a part of Ennis’s daily routine.

Since they had argued in Ennis’s apartment, Jack hadn’t spoken to him, not a single word, avoiding him any time he could. Those first few days, Ennis was too ashamed and scared to even be in the same room with Jack. He feared someone would make a comment or that Jack, still furious, would cause a scandal in the firm. But none of those things happened and Ennis found himself both relieved and perturbed. The fact that Jack seemed so indifferent took him by surprise. Ennis had expected him to make some nasty remarks, but all Jack did was keep his distance and try to hide his sadness. It made Ennis feel even worse.

Of course, it didn’t help that Elizabeth chose the same silent punishment. The older lawyer had helped him in every matter related to work, but was clearly avoiding any reference to what she knew. In the firm, rumors of all kinds were flying about the impertinent end of Team Del Mar/Twist. Ennis had dismissed everything, avoiding more unnecessary gossip. Frederic Dawson threw him strange looks all month, but other than being uncivil at every chance, the blond had done nothing else.

Jack, who was now working again full-time with Elizabeth Noris, jumped at the first opportunity, which was a difficult case in Europe. He stayed working there for almost four weeks. It was the divorce of the Greek billionaire Mr. Katsoranis, who intended to leave absolutely nothing to his wife even knowing such a thing was almost impossible. A smart move by Jack, Ennis had thought, since it gave them both the space they needed.

Ennis was now working mostly by himself, but still with a little helping hand from Elizabeth Noris, who in this last week had become “just Elizabeth” to him. She proved to be even more intelligent than Ennis had originally thought. With a sharp eye and smart mouth, she had good advice for every aspect of Ennis’s life. Still, there was one particular aspect that Elizabeth never touched again: Ennis’s love life. She didn’t want to come between the two kids she loved so much. She stayed quiet, waiting for the right moment.

During the four long weeks Jack stayed in Greece, Ennis missed him terribly. It began with him missing the feeling that Jack was working somewhere near him. Then he began to miss his voice, his smile, and his eyes; and then two weeks ago, he started to miss Jack’s physical touch. It was insane that he could miss something he'd hardly ever had so much, but that was the irony of the situation. He had lost, by his own accord, the chance of being friends of Jack, if nothing more.

He could clearly see all of this now, but it had been so back on that night in Madrid. It had taken him days to accept the fact that he'd made a serious mistake. Against everything he had predicted, his feelings for Jack had only grown stronger. The physical attraction by now was mixed with the sadness of the sudden departure. He would often find himself remembering silly little details about Jack. Phrases that he'd said when they had met and now had a whole different meaning. He replayed them in his head many, many times. This had never happened before in Ennis’s life. All the women to whom he had been romantically attached had left his life with little or no sadness on Ennis’s part. They had all clearly been mistakes that only now Ennis could comprehend. Actually, Ennis was beginning to wonder if he had ever loved any of them.

But those were questions that Ennis had kept away from himself all month. He was not ready to face them just yet. His life was complicated as it was. He didn’t need to change everything and everybody in his life. He was, however, ready to face something else. He was convinced he was ready to face Jack Twist.

At present, a half-naked Ennis was eating his apple and looking at the calendar in his kitchen. It was today, he thought, as he rearranged his towel around his hips. He'd just gotten out of the shower and droplets of water were still falling around him.

Today Jack Twist would return from the other side of the world, Ennis thought. He could only wonder if that was going to improve his days or not.

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Ennis parked the car rather quickly. He couldn’t help but be anxious since he was going to see Jack again. He was going to look into those deep blue eyes, watch them sparkle with the happiness of another solved case. Or perhaps show the sadness of the disappointment their brief romance had been.

Since the Santos case, Ennis had been doing more than just missing Jack. He had been pondering the whole situation, reading carefully his own feelings, trying to understand how deeply the magic of Jack Twist had gotten to him.

All this thinking left him with only one answer. There was something in his heart that only appeared when he was near Jack; something that no woman in the world could provide him. He didn’t know what it was, but he owed it to himself to find out.

Ennis was so focused on searching for the truth of his feelings that he was forced to ask himself some difficult questions. Was he gay? He thought about it a million times during the last month. There certainly were clues in his life that pointed in that direction: countless dates that inexplicably failed; beautiful women that provided him with little to absolutely no interest; years of loneliness without even taking a moment to wonder why he didn’t miss the company of a strong, beautiful woman by his side.

But Jack was the first man he ever had feelings for and he didn’t know how to handle it. Did he want something serious with Jack? He could no longer hide the truth. He wanted to be with Jack. He wanted to know him better and be a part of his life. He already knew that the simple thought of someone else flirting with Jack sent him into a jealous rage. A part of him wanted Jack exclusively.

To Ennis, it was like wakening from a very deep sleep, from a foggy dream that one kept having for far too long. There was a tiny monster inside his heart that Jack had woken up on that night, a monster that brought with him powerful feelings he had never felt before. And, he was now convinced that he would never find it with anyone else.

The problem was finding the courage to say everything to Jack, to ask for his forgiveness and to offer himself to him. It was all too much for the still confused Ennis. There were still so many doubts, so many things he couldn’t understand. And it would likely take him months or even years to overcome all of that.

He looked to the parking spot right next to him, “Jack Twist” written in black letters. It was empty. Jack hadn’t arrived yet. Entering the elevator, Ennis looked at his watch only to find that he was right on time. Then why was Jack late? Jack is never late, he thought.

He looked up to find Elizabeth looking at him with a mysterious smile. Ennis wished he could see into the future. Probably another speech about idiocy. It wasn’t as if he didn’t deserve it. These little sarcastic reproaches from his godmother were exactly what he needed.

“We're quite nervous this morning, aren’t we?” she said, almost smiling when Ennis didn’t answer. “Afraid he fell for a Greek god?”

“Elizabeth, please. I thought you were keeping out of all this.” Ennis replied as he moved quickly to the elevators. Elizabeth followed him quietly until they reached Ennis’s office.

“I thought there was no “this” happening, kid.” she said, closing the door behind her.

“And there isn’t.” Ennis said, pretending to read some paper he had picked up from his desk. “Or at least there isn’t anymore.”

“And we all know who’s to blame, right?”

“Hmmm” Ennis said, still pretending to read. Elizabeth could be extremely annoying when she knew she was right. And now it seemed to be the moment for his godmother to take control of the situation.

“I’m looking at you and I’m remembering when I fell in love with Jessica. I was afraid too.” Ennis looked surprised at the older woman. Elizabeth didn’t speak much about herself, especially about her non-existent love life. It was the gossip in the firm that Elizabeth had taken vows to never have anyone else in her life after the tragic death of her wife. The only exception had been a romance with a famous local detective a few months ago, but unfortunately, that too had ended in tragedy. The details about that or anything else were very scarce.

“You’re surprised, Ennis? You know, I was once young and stupid like you. No offense.” She paused to take a deep breath and punch Ennis in the shoulder. “Jessica and I met during a murder case all those years ago. She was the doctor performing the autopsy on the victims. From the first time our eyes locked together, there were sparks. Jessica told me later she knew it was love at first sight. I thought we were destined to be best friends, like when you meet someone you know you’re going to like.” She smiled a little.

“At that time, I'd never heard about lesbians. As pathetic as it may seem, I thought homosexuality was only for men. I had a very rigid and traditional education. It took me years to learn how to handle my own sexuality. You can imagine how difficult it was for Jessica who was "out and proud." There were times that after making love, I would reduce myself to tears. The feeling that it was wrong lasted for a few years. But Jessica never gave up on me and I never left her. ”

“I see.” Ennis whispered.

“No, Ennis, you don’t. I wasted years of my life convincing myself I wasn’t a lesbian. Missed another couple of years telling myself it was alright to be with another woman. I lost those years and I could never make up for it. Jessica was gone from my life so quickly. There was so much I wanted to do and needed to say…” She stopped, her eyes filed with emotions, the pain rushing through her like a fountain.

“Elizabeth, it’s ok. Don’t put yourself through this. I understood your message perfectly.”

“You better, kid. This kind of personal confession only happens once in a life time.” She managed a small smile.

“Thank you.” Ennis said, smiling lightly to her.

“Sure thing, kid. Now I must leave to meet my partner.” She moved to the door. “You know, the nice one . . . blue eyes, sexy smile, strong black hair . . .” She closed the door, almost laughing at Ennis furious stare.

That was something about Elizabeth he couldn’t understand. She could be down and sad one minute and on top of the mountain the other. He wished he could be like that, flying on the wings of the mood.

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Ennis hadn’t seen Jack all day long. Packing up some important files to study at home, Ennis thought about Elizabeth’s talk from this morning and how it had surprised him. A nice surprise indeed. He smiled unconsciously at the memory. As usual, Elizabeth had been right and direct, giving no space to wonder what he had been thinking.

Ennis opened the door of his office and froze at the view in front of him. Jack Twist was a few feet away talking happily to another man. Ennis looked at him hard. He knew Jack would never notice, he was too busy talking and his back was to Ennis.

Ennis thought Jack looked no different, except that he seemed a lot happier than the last time Ennis had laid his eyes on him. This simple fact seemed to smash Ennis.

Had Jack moved on? The thought itself broke something inside of him. He couldn’t believe that their night in Madrid had meant nothing to Jack. No, he couldn’t believe it when he had seen the desperation in his eyes when they had argued. Jack had felt it too, if not as strong.

Ennis decided to look at the man to whom Jack was talking to. Frederic Dawson was telling what appeared to be a very funny story to Jack. By the look on Jack's face, he was finding it hilarious. Ennis felt the familiar feeling in his gut, the twist of strong jealousy.

He suddenly remembered the afternoon when he had met Frederic Dawson. How furious he had been, just by watching Frederic flirting with Jack. Nothing but mere words and a few smiles, and Ennis had felt on fire, without even considering how ridiculous his behavior had appeared in the eyes of Jack. But if the brunette lawyer had found it suspicious, he had not said so to Ennis, although Ennis lately noticed that Jack acted differently around him. But on that afternoon, it had been too much for him to handle and with no other option, he abruptly left.

And that had been the moment.

The moment he drove away that day, almost two months ago, was the moment he realized that Jack Twist was driving him completely mad. The moment he admitted there was a physical attraction.

His feelings back on that day were so out of control that he wasn’t able to face them, not even acknowledge their existence. All of that had been on his mind when he drove away that day. He almost didn’t make it home. He had felt all that jealousy the first time he met Frederic Dawson and now it was even worse.

Worse, because Jack seemed to freely accept Frederic’s flattery. The blond tall man was circling Jack like a shark and there was nothing Ennis could do. All because Ennis had been stupid enough to lose his chance with Jack.

Ennis felt the adrenaline pounding through his veins as the need to stop Frederic grew inside him. Ennis was normally a calm man, but when he lost his temper, he turned into something completely different. It was a part of being Texan that he could never really change. Against everything his mind was telling him, he followed his heart. In a matter of seconds, he was standing there, facing Jack, not even looking at Frederic. Opening his mouth, he said the first lame thing he could think of.

“Hi, Jack. Can we talk?” He tried to hide the jealousy from his voice but it came through loud and clear. He needed to take Jack away from Frederic.

“I’m busy now, Ennis. Can't it wait?” Jack said coldly, understanding immediately what was going on, even though he was surprised.

“It has waited long enough.” He said, putting his hand on Jack’s shoulder. He didn’t do anything else, as Frederic pushed him away seconds before he could actually do anything.

“You heard what Jack said. We're in the middle of a conversation. Please, Ennis, don’t be rude.” Frederic said with authority.

“Was I speaking to you? I don’t think so! This is between me and Jack.” Ennis said, looking Frederic in the eyes.

“So you think you can come here and talk to me like that.” The other lawyer said. “I’m Frederic Dawson! No one dares talk to me like that, especially not at this firm!”

“I don’t care at all about who you are and I do as I please. Mind your business.”

“Funny, I was going to say the exact same thing.”

Jack stood there watching the exchange without a word until it was clear that Ennis would eventually punch the other man in the face. Jack knew how disastrous that would be. Looking at the other lawyers that were already watching them, Jack made up his mind. If he moved quickly, this could still be seen as a normal argument between two colleagues.

“Ok Ennis, let’s talk. Frederic, I’m sorry, we’ll talk about it later. I may even call you.” Jack said with a serious look.

“It’s ok, Jack. I understand you have some problems to solve. I’ll wait till you finish that.” Frederic said sweetly to Jack and without another word, he left the hall, entering one of the elevators.

“Can we talk in my office?” Ennis said slightly relieved, but starting to panic as he realized he had absolutely nothing planned in his mind to say to Jack.

“Of course.” They walked in silence until they entered the office, Ennis first followed by Jack.

As Jack turned to close the door, he felt Ennis's body push against him. Ennis was looking down at him, one hand up against the door, the other on Jack’s chest. Jack forgot to breathe as he looked to those deep brown eyes. He was surprised to find signs of pain in them. He had not expected that.

Ennis had been hurt by their unexpected break up, he realized. But how sorry was he? How far was he willing to go? And how much was he able to forgive to keep this crazy feeling he had for Ennis?

He wanted to hold Ennis, to make him understand that it was him that he loved. That it was him he wanted and no one else. Because he'd realized that during the last month. He had never fallen so hard before. But there was an enormous wall of anger and disappointment between them and he couldn’t find it in himself to make the first move. Jack thought maybe talking was a good idea after all. Perhaps they could still save the friendship they shared in the earlier days.

But Jack didn’t get a chance to start talking as Ennis's mouth moved closer to his, silently asking permission for something they both wanted, craved even, for the past month. Being closer to Ennis was awakening other feelings in Jack. A month can be an awfully long time for those who wait and Jack had waited. So he didn’t even blink when their lips came together. Jack lost all the restraints he had left in him and every rational thought between them was dismissed.

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On the next chapter: After the jealousy comes confront with the reality. Will Ennis and Jack find a way to be together again? Or is it much too late?