Something Inside

All previous disclaimers apply.

Author’s Note: There is a good deal of sexual content in this chapter. If it offends you, please don’t read it. Thank you. T.H.


“You’re going to meet that human again?” Ryan couldn’t help but smile at the minor disgust Sharpay tried to put into the inflection of her voice. Really, he knew that she was happy for him. He had stayed with her with this past month and a half and had been happier than he had been in nearly two hundred years. Chad had that effect on him. He knew that she knew that and would have been grateful to Chad even if she knew nothing else about him. It had only helped that the couple of times Chad had gone out with them, them being himself, Shar, Gabi, and Troy, he had been charming, funny, a complete gentleman, and they had all liked him very much. Ryan was glad. There was something about Chad that he knew he wanted with and around him for as long as possible. He was almost ready to call it love, but he knew that he couldn’t do that until Chad knew everything about him. But, he wasn’t quite ready to take the chance that Chad might not be able to accept what he truly was. So, for right now, he was content with the way things were.

“Yes, Shar, I’m going out with Chad again. I think I might let him make love to me tonight.”

“Make love, Ryan?” Shar draped herself across his bed. He turned to look at her and couldn’t help the smile that came across his face to see his sister, in a dress that probably cost more than what most people spent a year on clothes, her make up and hair immaculately done, pouting on his simple cotton sheets, “That’s a little extreme, don’t you think? Can’t you just call it fucking like anyone else?”

“You know it’s not that way with Chad and me, Shar,” he sighed. No matter how much she liked Chad, she would always worry for Ryan, but the worry was starting to grate on him a little.

“I know,” she frowned and stood with more grace than even most vampires were capable of. She was across the room and against his back, her cheek to his shoulder blade and her arms around his waist in an instant, “I just don’t want you to be hurt like with Steven.”

“Steven was a long time ago,” Ryan covered Shar’s hands with one of his own and tried not to wince at the sudden memory that invaded his mind, “Chad’s different.”

“He is,” Sharpay agreed, “Just don’t get too attached, yeah? You just…you take it so personally when your mortals die. I like to see you smile, but not at the expense of watching you fall apart for nearly a century after it’s over.”

“I know.” He turned, cupped her face in his hand, “I know. I promise to try, Shar. But, I can’t guarantee. There’s something about him. It’s so much more.”

“I know,” Sharpay rubbed against his hand like a kitten, thinking that it was times like these that she wished she could still cry. At least she would be able to express to him just how worried she was. But, for now, he was happy. Maybe that was all that mattered. She smiled widely and grabbed his wrist, flipping him over her head. She laughed joyfully when he caught himself mid-toss and launched himself back at her from the bed post. She marveled at his speed as he had his hands around her throat without so much as mussing her dress or hair. He was laughing, she was laughing. He took his hands away from her throat and hugged her to him again.

“Have fun tonight with Chad. I’m sure he’ll be wonderful. All those muscles. Big hands.” She grinned and pecked his cheek.

“You know I will,” Ryan grinned back identically, twirling her out of his embrace “Why are you all dressed up, by the way?”

“Troy’s taking us to the opera. Isn’t that sweet? La Boheme.” He laughed when she stuck a finger down her throat and pretended to gag. Sharpay had never been able to understand Troy and Gabriella’s love for opera, but Ryan knew she tolerated it because she loved to get dressed up and Troy and Gabi always made it worth her while if she behaved. They loved to have her on their arms, after all. He had always wondered how she couldn’t have at least gained an appreciation for it over the years. He had come to enjoy the sweeping music and stories, the elaborate sets, the beautiful costumes. Not, that he’d ever tell Sharpay that.

“What are you getting out of it this time, Shar?” he arched one eyebrow.

“Gabi promised they’d take me to New York next week.” Sharpay giggled, “I get to see a show a night as long as I’m a good girl at the opera tonight,” She rolled her eyes, “So, while you’re rolling on the sheets with Chad tonight, I’ll be bored out of my mind, but that means next week you can bring him here and have sex in your bed without worrying about us being around.”

“I know that you can do better than be bored the entire time,” Ryan laughed.

“True,” Sharpay looked in his mirror and fluffed her hair, “I plan to make them so hot that they drag me out of there by first intermission. But, I’ll make tonight so good for them that they’ll still take me to New York anyway.”

“You’re devious, Shar,” Ryan smiled, “Go on. Have fun. Tease them out of their minds. I’ll be back before dawn.”

With a kiss and a final squeeze, Sharpay was out the door, waving her jeweled hand behind her. Ryan smiled and laughed a little. He knew that she was concerned about how deeply he had come to feel for Chad, had felt it in every way she held him or looked at him, but he found he couldn’t be concerned at all. The past month and a half had been the best Ryan had ever had in his life or his death. Perhaps death wasn’t the right word. He felt more alive now than he had in the entirety of his existence.

There hadn’t been a night since the first that Ryan hadn’t seen Chad. If they weren’t technically together, Ryan was still watching Chad, with Taylor, with Jason, with any number of his friends or when he was just alone in the apartment he and Taylor shared. Ryan liked to know that he was safe. And he loved every little thing he learned about Chad. Chad wasn’t perfect. He had a short temper, he wasn’t all that open to new things, and he was entirely too stubborn for his own good. But, at the same time he was funny, sweet, and completely loyal to those he cared about. He enjoyed working out, had a bad knee, and loved to watch cheesy sports movies. He had a weakness mint chocolate chip ice cream, hated talking on the phone more than necessary, and when he couldn’t sleep he made himself condensed tomato soup and ate it with crackers. Every little thing Ryan learned about Chad just fascinated him more. The most mundane things could make Ryan smile. He was infatuated, he could admit to himself. It was very nearly love. And it was exquisite torture.

If they were together, they were at dinners where Ryan was pretending to eat, at movies that Ryan pretended to watch while he was really just watching Chad’s face. He loved to go to the pick-up basketball games that Chad played. Or, if they hadn’t planned anything particular, like tonight, they were just talking, laughing together. Ryan had told Chad more than he’d ever told anyone before. And Chad responded in the same manner. Ryan felt that at this point Chad probably knew him better than anyone, save for his sister, but only because his sister knew what he was. And Chad had told him that, save for Taylor, Ryan knew him better than anyone alive.

Of course, there was always the physical side of their relationship, as well. After their third consecutive night together, talking for hours, many of their nights were spent making out while they pretended to watch a movie. It had been a relief when, after his death, Ryan had discovered that his libido was still intact. Not that it would have been a deal breaker, but it was nice to know that there were still some pleasures he would be able to have seeing as he wasn’t going to be dying anytime soon or ever, as far as he knew. And with Chad, things were incredible. Chad could make him feel as if he was burning up with a single touch. He was incredibly astute at finding the spots that made Ryan cry out. Just behind his ear, the pads of his fingers, just under his ribs. Ryan, in return, searched out the places that made Chad bite his lip in an effort to keep quiet. The inside of his elbow, his thigh just above his knee, the place where his neck met his shoulder. The irony that Chad liked to be kissed and nipped in the exact location Ryan would feed on if it were anyone else was not lost on him. But, he tried not to think of it, especially when he and Chad were on the couch, Chad on top of him, holding each other close as they moved their hips frantically so that the friction would be great enough to allow them to finish. Tonight felt right. Tonight he would make love with Chad for the first time. Maybe the last time as well, because he knew that if Chad asked him the right questions, he would tell him everything.

He was still resolved that it would be this night when he knocked on the door to Chad’s apartment. One look in Chad’s eyes and he knew that Chad had decided the same. He wasn’t even able to ask if Taylor was out of the apartment before Chad had pulled him through the door, slammed it, and pushed him against it roughly. Ryan could only moan in appreciation when Chad was suddenly against him, hands buried in his hair, kissing him for all he was worth. Ryan could only moan and wrap his arms around Chad, careful to make sure that he wasn’t holding too tight, and lose himself in the feel of Chad against him, the feel of Chad’s tongue as it explored every crevice of his mouth, the feel of Chad’s rising arousal against his thigh. He moaned and pulled away from the kiss to attach himself to Chad’s neck just where he liked it. Even if he wouldn’t bite it never hurt to pretend. He sucked harshly and felt immensely satisfied as Chad’s knees gave a little before he got control of himself enough to swoop Ryan up in his arms and walk toward the bedroom.

“Ryan,” Chad panted as he set Ryan to the floor, “Maybe we should slow things down a little.” Ryan could tell he was just trying to be gentlemanly because Chad cried out and arched his back a little when Ryan ran his fingers gently over Chad’s nipples before ripping the button down open. Ryan knew what he needed, what he wanted.

“No,” he hissed as he fell to his knees, taking Chad’s jeans and boxer briefs down to the floor, “Now. Right now. Fast and hard. Worry later.”

Chad cried out again and set his hand to the back of Ryan’s head when Ryan took him in his mouth. Ryan had always wondered why it was that Chad was not affected by the fact that his body temperature was so low, but decided to be grateful that his lover had never seemed to notice. He was certainly not complaining now. Chad arched his back, threw back his head, and moaned as Ryan continued to work him in his mouth, alternating between licking and sucking, teasing the head and deep-throating. He could feel when Chad was close and pulled back, knowing Chad would want to be inside of him when he came. Or maybe he just wanted Chad inside of him when he came. It didn’t matter. He rid himself of his clothes and was on the bed, on all fours, as quickly as he could be while still appearing human. Just the idea of Chad being inside of him had gotten him hot and he couldn’t help but stroke himself as he moaned wantonly and looked back at Chad with an invitation in his eyes.

“Baby, you are so hot,” Chad murmured, lost in the beauty that was a naked Ryan stroking himself on the bed that had been Chad’s first purchase when he moved into the apartment with Taylor. It was a fancifully curved metal frame currently covered in a midnight blue Egyptian cotton comforter. Just seeing Ryan on it made him think of nights in some location far more exotic than his apartment. Ryan just seemed to belong somewhere other worldly, a place full of grace and beauty. He shook his head to rid it of the fanciful thoughts that he hadn’t been prone to until he had begun seeing Ryan and took a moment to thank whatever god was listening that he had changed the sheets only that morning.

“I want you inside me, Chad,” Ryan moaned, then gasped when he pulled particularly rough on himself and had to list the names of the presidents since he had been changed to stave off his orgasm. Chad didn’t have to be told twice. He was at Ryan’s side in an instant.

“Don’t you want me to, you know, return the favor?”

“Maybe later,” Ryan smiled at him, and Chad knew that he had appreciated the offer, “Right now, I’ve wanted this for so long, I just need you inside me. I’m close already. Please, Chad?” He ended on a whimper and Chad reached down to replace Ryan’s hand with his own. Ryan gasped and bucked a little to feel Chad’s hand, warm as a branding iron, on him.

“Whatever you say, baby.”

“Yes,” Ryan hissed as the first finger worked itself into his opening. He didn’t know when Chad had gotten out lube, when he had worked it onto his fingers. All he could care about was the fact that Chad had begun to open and stretch him and that soon Chad would be inside of him. He very nearly came just at the idea.

“Not so fast,” Chad whispered, hot in his ear, circling Ryan with painfully strong fingers, keeping his orgasm at bay, “I’ll be inside you when you come.”

“Please, Chad. Now!” Ryan whimpered.

“Soon,” Chad placed a kiss to Ryan’s back and slipped another finger in. He scissored for a moment, then crooked his fingers, searching.

“Chad!” Ryan cried out when Chad hit the spot inside him that made him see stars, “I need you in me now!”

“Want to be inside you,” Chad growled in return before pressing himself to Ryan. Always the gentleman, Ryan noticed he waited for permission to enter. He looked back at Chad and nodded. Chad buried himself in Ryan in one thrust and couldn’t help the moan that escaped him when Ryan screamed.

“Yes, Chad! More!” He wasn’t surprised that Ryan was a talker in bed.

“You’re so tight, baby,” he grunted, kissing Ryan’s shoulder again.

“Chad, I’m…I’m going to…”

“I know,” Chad grunted and strained with the effort to keep his thrusts into Ryan’s willing entrance steady, “Me, too. Wanted you for so long, Ryan!”

Once Chad’s hand was around him, along with the burning shaft buried inside of him that kept striking him just so Ryan knew it was all over. A back corner of his mind was a bit ashamed that he hadn’t been able to last longer. But, another part of him was thrilled. Chad made him feel like a human teenager again, like he couldn’t hold off because he needed Chad so very much. Ryan could tell Chad was close as well by the way his thrusts became frantic and without rhythm. So, he closed his eyes and, with a final cry of Chad’s name, allowed himself to let go, giving into the pleasure that whitened his vision and made his body go stiff.

“Ryan!” Chad felt the whisper torn straight from his soul as Ryan came in his arms. His own orgasm tore through him and he collapsed on Ryan, sending them both to the bed. They laid quiet for a moment and Chad caught his breath before he rolled over and took Ryan in his arms.

“I wanted to make love tonight,” Ryan placed a kiss to Chad’s chest, just over his beating heart, “Guess we’ll have to save that for another time.”

“Or just later tonight,” Chad stroked Ryan’s back gently. They both laughed.

“You made me feel like a teenager again, Chad,” Ryan linked his fingers over Chad’s heart and looked him in the eye, smiling, “It was wonderful. I felt like nothing could wait and everything was so much more intense because of it. Thank you.”

He leaned in to kiss Chad, closing his eyes and allowing the rush of warmth and love, he could admit it now, to wash over him as the kiss deepened lazily. When the kiss ended gently, slowly, Ryan laid his head back on Chad’s chest and sighed deeply.

“Thank you,” Chad murmured, “I felt the same way. It was the best, in fact. Only, it was cool inside you. I didn’t expect that. I’ve never felt anything like it before.”

Ask me, Chad. Ryan begged in his mind. Please, just ask me and I’ll tell you.

But, when Chad didn’t say anything more, he just volunteered, “My body temperature is lower than usual. Has been for a long time.”

They laid in the quiet for a few long minutes, simply taking each other in. Chad rested his hands on the small of Ryan’s back while Ryan traced the muscles of Chad’s arm. They both had the same idea on their minds, but neither of them wanted to be the first one to say it. In the end, it was Chad who gave.

“Ryan?”

“Hmm?”

“I think…I know…I’m nearly in love with you, Ryan.” His voice was soft and he stroked Ryan’s hair, terrified that Ryan didn’t return his feelings. He was terrified that he had moved too fast. Of his previous relationships, granted there weren’t many of them, only one had lasted longer than a few months and he’d never said he loved Josef. Though, Josef was the closest he had ever come to love before Ryan. He and Ryan hadn’t been together very long at all. Six weeks. And they’d never said that they were exclusive to each other at all. What if he had gone too fast? What if Ryan didn’t feel for him the same way he felt for Ryan? His thoughts began to flood, making him want to scream and grab his hair, but he resisted.

“Chad,” his heart skipped a beat when Ryan looked at him, a smile on his face, “I’m nearly in love with you, too.” Chad smiled into the passionate kiss that Ryan pressed to his lips and rolled them over, laughing. After a quick make-out session he propped himself up on his elbows, smiling down at Ryan.

“You know what I want to do now?”

“What?” Ryan kissed his neck and he nearly lost his train of thought.

“I want to walk down to the corner store, holding your hand. I want to buy some ice cream and bring it back here to eat it with you in bed. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds great.” Ryan was so happy he would have agreed to walk down to the corner store naked to buy frog legs if Chad had suggested it.

It took them quite a while to get themselves cleaned up and their clothes back on, but they couldn’t have been more comfortable or happy as they walked down the street, hand in hand, just as Chad had wanted to. Ryan had fantasies as they were walking of feeding on those who glared at them as they passed and wished that he had taken the time to feed. The thirst burning in the back of his throat was becoming overwhelming. It was only Chad’s happiness that kept him from doing so. They didn’t matter anyway, not when his lover was at his side and didn’t see their glares. The lady at the corner store seemed to know Chad and smiled at him, happy for him, when he walked in with Ryan. Ryan smiled winningly back at her. It amazed him how Chad’s moods, Chad’s friends, could affect him so. He knew without thinking about it that Jason, Kelsi, Taylor, and any children they might have would always be under his protection. But, those who made Chad unhappy, like some of his former teammates, Ryan would not want to meet in a back alley or he might not be able to control himself. He had hoped since the day that he had met Chad that he would never have to test his control, but it seemed like fate was against him.

He heard the men in his head before he saw them.

Fuckin’ fags…

Should all burn in Hell…

Teach ‘em a lesson…

It was nothing he hadn’t heard before, of course. He’d been alive at a time when simply looking at a man the wrong way was enough to get you shot on sight. But, it was different now. Now he had the means to fight back and someone else to protect.

Chad was confused when Ryan suddenly pushed him violently against a wall as they were walking toward his apartment. He braced himself for impact, knowing that his head would hit the hard bricks, but it never came. Faster than Chad thought humanly possible Ryan’s hand cradled his head against the brick so that the impact didn’t even hurt.

“Ryan?” Chad asked, confused.


“Stay behind me, Chad.” Ryan’s voice was a low growl that Chad hadn’t even thought him capable of making.

It was then that Chad saw them coming from down the street. He didn’t know them, had never seen them, but he knew their kind and he knew what they wanted. He also knew plenty about what they were capable of. He wasn’t naïve enough to believe that just because he had family and a circle of friends who accepted him for who he was that the rest of the world did so. But, what could Ryan do? He was so slight and small? He weighed so little. When Chad had picked him up this evening he had been surprised at just how light Ryan was. No, Chad should be the one protecting Ryan, not the other way around.

“Ryan,” Chad tried to step forward and push Ryan behind him, but Ryan could not be moved.

“Chad.” Suddenly his voice was soft, like it had been when they were laying in bed together. He turned around and Chad saw something in his eye, something he couldn’t explain. He took a step back and pressed himself up against the wall. It was as if someone else had made the decision to let Ryan handle it for him. “Please, trust me.”

“I trust you,” he found himself murmuring, not quite sure why he was saying it when all he really wanted to do was stand by Ryan’s side.

He saw the fight as if he was watching a dream. Ryan was a creature of pure grace and deadly force. Before Chad knew what had happened Ryan had disabled two of their three would-be attackers. Chad felt his heart begin to pound and his throat begin to close as he watched Ryan take the third assailant in his arms in a bastardized mockery of an embrace and attack his neck. Chad watched as the man twitched and finally fell still in Ryan’s arms. When Ryan turned around, there was blood down the front of his shirt and on his chin. He was just wiping it away with his shirtsleeve.

“Chad…” His voice was gentle as he came toward Chad.

But, Chad allowed his mind to go blank and his instincts to take over. He dropped the bag that held the ice cream and he ran.


Author’s Note: I know the fight scene went really fast. It will be described it greater detail from Ryan’s point of view in the next chapter. Please drop a review if you have time. Thanks, T.H.