Mindbottling

Their hands dig into my face and neck as they hold me down. I struggle against them, but there are too many and I am too weak. He slips something into my pocket and I hear the gun cock behind me.



I'm sure, that after they kill me, they'll go after Jimmy. I have to save him.



The gun fires and my head explodes into a thousand pieces.



JIMMY!



I lashed out and was woken up by a terrible crash. I looked around the room, panicked and confused. The hospital. I was back at the hospital. My lunch tray had overturned and saltines and Jell-o had spilled all over the bed and floor.



"I know the food sucks, but it doesn't move most people to violence."



I looked up to see Coach, who gave me a salute. "Welcome back, Chazz."



"They shot me," I said, one hand carefully examining my head.



"I know. That's why you're back here. Apparently the bullet lodged in your sinuses and that's what was causing the nosebleeds."



"But how … why didn't I die?"



"The doctors don't quite know. I guess the bullet hit that rock of a brain of yours and ricocheted back up into your sinuses. They x-rayed your head the first time you were here, but they were looking for fractures, not bullets. I guess that squished up bit of metal just looked like a dental filling."



There was a long silence while he allowed me to wrap my head around this information.



"I remember that there was at least two of them, and they held me down. And shot me."



"Do you remember anything else?"



"Yeah," I said cautiously, and Coach nodded expectantly.



"Go on."



I fiddled with my blankets, then took a deep breath. He was either going to kick my ass or laugh at me, but the whole thing was too mindbottling to hold inside.



"Jimmy," I said, finally, "I'm pretty sure … at least I think that we're…" Man! How do you tell someone that you're driving the Hershey Highway?



"A couple?" Coach suggested.



"Yes!" I cried, seizing the word with relief. "A couple! But like, not friends, but like a guy and girl couple. Except that, you know, he doesn't have a vagina."



"No, I don't suppose he does," laughed Coach.



"You … you're not mad?"



"No," he smiled, "you two have been together for months now. And while it's not exactly public knowledge, it's hardly a secret either. I was relieved when it finally happened, I'll tell you. Watching the two of you switch between fighting and making googly eyes at each other was driving me crazy. And when you two finally decided that what you were feeling for each other wasn't hate, but something else entirely, it was like a supernova."



"Supernova." I repeated. God, who did that song? Why did that remind me of something?



"Chazz? Are you okay?"



"Yeah," I said, shaking the ever-present feeling that I'd forgotten something important. "But Coach, what I don't understand is, why?"



"What do you mean? Jimmy's a great kid! Talented, good looking, honest …"



"No, I mean me. Why the hell would he waste his time on me?"



"Hell if I know," he said, but couldn't hide his grin. I scooped up some Jell-o and chucked it at his head, just missing him.



"You're a loud, obnoxious, egotistical oaf."



"And an addict," I added.



"And an addict," he agreed, "but you're also funny, talented, hard working and loyal. Almost to a fault."



"You forgot sexy," I prompted as he tossed the Jell-o back at me.



"Please, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth."



I leaned back into my pillows and marveled at it all. It was true! My dreams weren't just some sick, perverted fantasy. They were a sick, perverted reality. Cool!



"Hey wait!" I said, "If we're so head over heels for each other, like you say, then why didn't he say anything to me about it after the accident?"



"Two reasons," sighed Coach, as he reached into his pocket and removed a letter. "The doctor thought it best that you remember things at your own pace, and this." He held the letter out to me.



"What is it?" I asked, taking it.



"A note. To Jimmy. This was the only thing on you when you were found. No wallet, no money, no I.D. Just this note."



I unfolded the piece of paper and looked it over.



Dear Jimmy,



After much consideration, I've decided to move on. We have had a successful partnership, albeit a short one, but I've had multiple offers overseas and I've decided my interests would be better served there.



Chazz



I looked up at Coach, who just shrugged.



"What does 'albait' mean?" I asked. When Coach shook his head, I read the line to him; "Successful partnership, albeit a short one."



Coach looked at me for a moment, then broke into a grin.



"Albeit. All Be It."



"What the fuck kind of word is that?"



Coach's grin widened, but I couldn't see what was so funny.



"What are you so happy about? I just remembered that I found Jimmy, and now I'm dumping him to go to Canada."



"Don't you get it Chazz? You didn't write that note."



"I didn't?"



"No. I always had my doubts, but this clinches it. I gotta call Jimmy and tell him."



I pushed my blankets aside and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.



"Man, I gotta take a leak. Where is Jimmy anyway? If we're bum-buddies, the least he could do is play nursemaid with me."



"I don't know," said Coach, searching his jacket for his cell phone, "his dad had called and asked Jimmy to meet him downtown. Some family emergency or something. God, I hate that jerk."



"I comprende, mi amigo," I said, getting off of the bed, "that guy is a triple-A prick in my books. In fact, I was just thinking— FUCK!" I slipped on the Jell-o covered floor, cracking my head on the lunch tray on my way down. "Fuckity fuck!"



As I struggled to get up, my fingers smeared the red gelatin on the floor tiles. Red like the sun. Red like blood.



Desert.



No, dessert.



My stupid feeble-assed mind groped around the difference. Desert/dessert. Sun/son. Oh fuck. Deserted son. He deserted his son! Oh shit! Oh fuck! Darren had done this to me. I looked up at Coach, who had gotten to his feet.



"What's wrong, Chazz?"



"Where's Jimmy?" I choked out.



"I just told you, he's with his father … Why? Jimmy went to meet him an hour ago. Oh God, Chazz, you don't mean to tell me …"



"Get me my shoes," I said, getting to my feet, "I'm gonna go kick some ass."



"But we don't even know where they are."



"Shit, you're right," I said, pounding my head with one fist. Maybe I could jar something loose. "I know it's in there, Coach. I just don't know how to get it out."



"Think, Chazz," he said, handing me my pants, "up until now, what has triggered your memories?"



"Jimmy," I answered. "When Jimmy kissed me, a whole bunch of stuff surfaced."



Coach looked at my mouth for a moment, then shook his head.



"What?" I asked, defensively. "Were you actually thinking of kissing me?"



"Well …" he frowned, "if you think it would help."



"Dude, I may be gay, but I'm not THAT gay."



Coach burst out laughing. "Okay, what else? A word? A smell? A song?"



"Yeah, something you said before."



"Before what?"



"Before, when we were talking about me and Jimmy. You said it was like 'something' when we got together.



"Annoying?"



"No, after that. It's like … like the handshake thing that Jimmy and I do."



"Supernova?"



"Yeah!" I said, hoping for a mental miracle.



"Supernova." Coach repeated, and I shut my eyes, willing my brain to work.



Nothing. "Gah!" I pounded my head, "I'm so stupid!"



"That's too bad," said Coach, "I thought that removing that bullet might help. I had really hoped that today was going to be the day that it was gonna come back to you."



By now, you should've somehow realized what you gotta do.



"That's it!" I cried.



"What is?"



"That! Those words. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you now."



"Wonderwall?"



"Yes! They're at the Wonderwall!"



"Chazz, there's no such place as the Wonderwall. And what the hell does that have to do with a supernova?"



"I dunno," I answered, but I felt we were getting close.



Supernova/Wonderwall.

Supernova/Wonderwall



"Well fuckin' duh!" Coach said, jumping up. "Of course!"



He grinned at me and I suddenly understood it too.



"They're at the Oasis!" we both shouted.



I grabbed my jacket and we rushed to the Oasis Hotel to save Jimmy.