All That Jazz

I decided to read the paper to pass the time until The Joker returned. I grabbed the paper off the dining room table and sat on the back of the couch with my back against the wall so I could secretly watch the door. The Joker came back when I’d made it halfway through the paper.

“You are so weird.” He scoffed as he saw me.

“You’re one to talk, Clown Boy.” I smiled and folded the paper.

“By the way, it was really cute when you tried to leave earlier.” He smiled to himself.

“Why is that?” I asked, climbing off the couch to return the paper to him.

“You weren’t wearing shoes.” He glanced down at my still bare feet. “You weren’t going to leave were you?” he smirked. I knew I was busted, but I would never admit it.

“Bite me.” I said sarcastically and turned to walk away. In an instant his hands were on me, one hand pulling my hair out of the way and the other grabbing my waist so I couldn’t get away. He tilted my head to the side and bit my neck, gently pulling on my skin and releasing it, only to do it again, and again.

I’ve never been a fetish kinda girl, but damn, I liked it when he bit me. And I couldn’t stop the gasps that punctuated each nip, each tug of my skin. He knew what he was doing to me, and I knew he enjoyed the look on my face when he casually let me go. Bastard.

~~~~

I awoke the next morning with an energy that could only be described as manic. It was such a beautiful day and I was going shopping! The sky was blue, the sun was bright and I could hear birds warbling outside my window. I quickly dressed in a white sleeveless flowing sundress with brown cork wedge heels. I brushed my hair out, and it flowed in thick curls from the braids I’d put in last night. I brushed the top back and pinned it in a small pouf. I applied some mascara and a little blush, finishing the look with some pink lipstick. A spritz of tropical passion fruit perfume and I was ready to go.

I bounced down the stairs to find The Joker reading the morning paper at the kitchen table. He looked up as he heard my approach.

“Well look at you.” He said with a hint of sarcasm.

“Hey! It’s a new town and no one knows me here, so I’m going to wear what I want.”

“So let me guess, you want money?” The Joker started digging through his pockets.

“You said I could go shopping.” I shifted my weight to one leg, popping a hip to the side. “Are you gonna take it back, after I got all dolled up?”

“No, no, of course not, you’d shout till the windows break. How much do you want?” He asked, holding out a handful of change.

“I don’t want to spend all your money.”

“Bah! Money is no concern of mine. It’s all going to you, anyway.” The Joker reached inside his jacket, and pulled out a wad of cash. “Here, dollface, break the bank.” I grabbed the folded up bills and counted them out.

“Holy shit…there’s over ten thousand dollars here!”

“You want more?” The Joker casually reached into the other side of his jacket.

“No! Is it safe to spend this?”

“It’s legal currency, dollface, you’ll be fine. Now run along, and have fun. Oh, and don’t forget, you have to get something for me!” The Joker laughed.

“Yes, dear.” I said, rolling my eyes. I opened the door. “See ya later!”

“Don’t shop too hard.” The Joker called as I walked outside into the bright sunshine.

~~~~

“Just curious, am I ever going to get to see you without your makeup?” I asked as I hung up my new clothes later that night. The Joker was seated on my bed, going through the numerous bags I’d brought home.

“Am I ever going to get to see you in these?” The Joker held up the lace boy shorts I’d bought.

“Pick a color.” I smiled seductively. He quirked an eyebrow at me.

“There’s more than one pair?” he asked, digging through the bag. “Yep, we’ll be busy.” He pulled out the seven other pairs I’d bought, all different colors. “Let’s see, we got blue, nice choice, orange, pink, of course, red-ooo, purple, green, black, and gold. You have…very nice taste.”

“Pick one!” I scolded.

“That’s not fair, you brought home eight colors, how am I supposed to choose?”

“Process of elimination.” I said slyly, delighted he referred to the mansion as ‘home’.

“By sight?” He shot me a dashing smile.

“Nice try, but you have to give me something in return.”

“Keep bringing these home and you can have anything you want, dollface.” He glanced at me, a deep look on his face. “You really want to see me without the war paint?”

“At least once. It’s only fair. I’ve told you secrets, you should do the same.”

“Ok, fine, you can have a night without the war paint. But…I get to pick a color by seeing every pair of boy shorts you brought home on you. Sound fair?”

“Not at all, I think I should get one makeup-free night for every pair you see on me.”

“But you said you only wanted one night!”

“I said at least one, you know the minimum?”

“What’s wrong with my makeup, did I do it wrong? Want to help me next time?” he giggled. I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought.

“I’ll make you a deal and we’ll both be happy. I get one night without makeup for every two pairs of boy shorts you see-“

“Sounds good.”

“And you have to go to a block party with me.” I looked at him, watching for a ray of hope.

“No.” He put the boy shorts on my bed and walked out.

“What do you mean no?” I asked, following him downstairs. All the men were hanging out in the front room and watched on as The Joker and I yelled at each other.

“No, I will not go to some stupid party thrown by one of your ‘home skillets’ or whatever you people call each other!” He turned around to face me.

“Why not? You might have some fun!” I reasoned, waving my arms and an empty hanger around.

“Yeah, I’m sure I’ll have lots of fun watching teenagers get wasted and laid all night.”

“Ok, one, it’s not like that. It’s a family thing. And two, stop dissing my friends!” I said, poking him in the chest.

“I’ll take the first part of the deal, ok? But I’m not stepping foot on some drug dealer’s turf!” he argued, pushing my hand aside.

“I don’t waste my time on drug dealers! And you can’t have half of the bargain; it’s a package deal of thing.” I crossed my arms.

“Then forget it.” He threw his hands in the air, trying to walk around me.

“That’s not fair and you know it!” I cut him off, finally yelling.

“No, asking me to go to the hood and get down with your ‘homeys’ isn’t fair!” he yelled back.

“So pick the lesser of two evils! Either eight nights without makeup, or four nights without makeup and a block party.” I held up my first two fingers.

“Uh guys-“ one of the men cut in.

“What?!” The Joker and I both yelled, turning to face the offender.

“Can you quiet down or something? Some of us are trying to read.” He held up his book for emphasis.

“Well maybe if someone would stop trying to talk all gangsta and make a decision, we could.” I glared at The Joker.

“Real mature, blame it on me.” He made a face at me.

“You started it! Will you please just make a decision so I can finish putting my clothes away?” I pleaded.

“Fine! I will go to the god damned block party! But I swear to God, I will kill anyone who touches you.” He threatened. I sniggered and tried not to burst out laughing. “What?”

“Have you ever been to a block party?” I asked. “Ever seen people dance hip hop?”

“No. Why?”

“Oh, nothing, I was just wondering. You’ll see.” Again I tried not to laugh but I failed this time.

“What is so funny?” The Joker demanded.

“Just a tip: don’t use air quotes when you’re trying to talk gangsta.” I burst into another peal of laughter. “Oh god, I thought I was gonna bust a gut for a minute there.”

“If you’re making me go to this damn thing, then our deal starts tonight.” The Joker said indignantly.

“Pick a color.” I said, walking back upstairs.

“Red.” He called up the stairs.





AN: Things are heating up in the mansion! Coming up next: an erotic scene, surprise! As always, any kind of review is welcome.