Initiation

Chapter Six

The following day, Singe awoke to the same pain, and he held back a moan as he shifted in a failed attempt to get comfortable. The pain in his nether regions has lessened to the point of a throbbing ache, but should he move any more, he knew the sting would course through him even stronger. Movement beside him caused him to turn his head, discovering Lucian by his side again. His instincts told him to turn away from the kindly lycan leader, but this time he actually forced himself to look at him.

Lucian gave a sad but sympathetic smile and reached out to touch his fledgling’s cheek.

"How are you feeling, dear one? Any better?"

Singe made a weak gesture meant to represent a shrug, but otherwise remained silent. He enjoyed the caresses employed by his sire, but at the same time felt unfit for of them. In the quiet, he tried to tell himself that Lucian was only indulging him out of pity.

Then he felt it: a growing pressure in his lower abdomen.

"I... I need to... relieve myself..." he rasped, blushing.

Lucian nodded, understanding, and ran outside. A minute later, he returned with a pail in his hands. Gingerly, he began to lift Singe under his arms, and smiled when the scientist wrapped arms around him, pressing his face into his sire's shoulder. The scientist bit his lip, fighting desperately not to communicate the agony he felt in the mere act of sitting up, and he tried to focus instead on the soft breaths and sweet words of encouragement from his sire.

Suddenly, Singe groaned sharply, embarrassed. Following the Austrian’s gaze, Lucian looked down and saw the dark outlines of fabric on the bedding between Singe’s legs where he clearly had lost control of his bladder.

The Austrian sobbed again, his face burning with shame. He had soiled Lucian's bed. Could this get any worse? He truly was useless, in every way. All he could manage was to create problems for his sire.

"It's alright..." Lucian said reassuringly when he noticed Singe's embarrassment. "Don't cry, dear one... It's alright..."

"No, it's not..." Singe sobbed, face in his hands. "I'm such a failure..."

Instantly the alpha's grip tightened onto his fledgling as he watched the once mentally powerful man crumble into a state similar to that of a lost, dejected child. He found himself regretting his first meeting with Singe, and wondering if he had been so incredibly naïve and foolish to think he could protect the younger man in the world of a lycan. Heart reaching out to that of his dear, broken scientist, he realized wondering would do no good now and that action must take place. He let the weight of Singe lay fully against him as he held him strongly but tenderly in his arms, nudging the hidden face and listening to the heart-wrenching tears.

"Shhhh," Lucian rubbed between the man's shoulder blades as he held onto him. "Don't say such a thing. Please don't even think it for a moment. I don’t believe that, and you shouldn’t either."

Singe slowly, but eventually quieted, though he still wept, and Lucian steadied him at the edge of the bed, pulling away to speak.

"Do you need to do… something else?" he hesitantly asked the young lycan. Singe nodded, avoiding his leader’s gaze, and Lucian nodded with slight remorse. They both knew this was going to be painful.

"I'll be here with you, Singe," Lucian promised, slowly lowering the Austrian down until he basically sat over the pail. "Hold onto me, alright? And if it gets too painful, you can cry out."

Singe nodded again, sobs still bubbling from his throat.

The process was more than just "painful". The young lycan cried out many times when his healing anus was stretched by the lump of hardened feces. He squeezed hard against the body which held him, and Lucian in turn stroked his back in encouragement. Singe realized was bleeding as well; he inhaled the air, and with his new heightened senses he could smell it.

Lucian chanced to place a soft, reassuring kiss against Singe's temple and he carefully placed his fledgling back down on the bed, trying to avoid the wet places. Singe covered his mouth with the back of a trembling hand as Lucian proceeded to inspect and clean the newly soiled area. He deserved none of this, not Lucian's kindness and consideration, nor the kiss which touched him so deeply.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink...?" Lucian asked once he'd finished cleaning Singe and tucked him back in.

The Austrian shook his head; food really was the last thing he wanted now. If he tried to eat, he would likely throw up. However, his mouth did feel incredibly dry.

"Perhaps... a glass of water..."

Lucian nodded. "Of course. I'll be right back."

Less than a minute later, the leader returned with a glass of cold water, which he carefully placed at Singe's lips.

"Try not to choke," he advised.

Singe carefully took a sip and shut his eyes, savoring the cool liquid which filled him and revived his dry throat. A few more gulps, and Singe waved the glass away. The last thing he needed was to piss on the remaining unstained areas of the bed.

"I brought you some books from my journey," Lucian stated as he brought the glass away. "I know how much you enjoy reading..." he was interrupted by the sobs which shook Singe's slight frame. He tried to stroke the scientist's hair, but the man once again refused the touch.

"I don't deserve any of this," Singe said as he wept. "No one... has showed me such kindness... in my whole life... I don't deserve it..."

"Yes, you do," Lucian insisted, his face sympathetic and serious. "You, if anyone, deserves it. I know what it is like, being spit upon all your life while trying to convince yourself that you aren't worthless when everyone tells you so. Believe me, I know. I'm not worthless, and neither are you. You’re my fledgling, my pack mate and… well…” He hesitated, uncertain of how the truth he might give would affect the younger lycan.

“I... I think that I love you, Singe. In fact, I know I do," Lucian confessed. The miserable man before him stopped sobbing, shock freezing him with the unspoken question of whether what he had just heard was real or imagination. Feeling he should explain, the alpha continued.

"I was taken with you from the day we met. I did not think I would find anything more that a mere scientist when I came to Austria, but I turned out to be very wrong. When I brought you back with me, I was hoping we could eventually become… more than friends."

Singe looked up at his sire, eyes red and filled with tears. At first he said and did nothing. Lucian felt hopeless when the scientist looked away, weeping, hiding his face in his hand. Had he only worsened the young lycan’s predicament and now even their friendship?

But seconds later, when the young lycan uncovered his visage, Lucian saw that Singe, through his tears, was now smiling.

"You… you don't think I'm disgusting...?" Singe asked in a small, insecure voice. He had been told that he was so many times over the course of his human life that he had started to believe it himself.

"Never,” Lucian replied with a warm smile. “I think you are a wonderful person, dear one. And I'd be honored to have you as my lover." He brought his hand to the Austrian's cheek and this time Singe took it, pressing a kiss into his palm.

"Same here..." his fledgling whispered.

Lucian bent over from his seat and kissed away the remaining tears on his beloved scientist's face. Feeling safe in the touch of his leader’s kiss, Singe finally accepted the joy he felt and leaned into the kiss.

*

Hours later, Singe was trying for sleep, in a far less soiled bed, nuzzled up next to Lucian, safe in his sire's hold. He was still unsure of what was unfolding in his life, after all the years of abuse and rejection, but somehow... somehow this felt right.

Lucian was relieved to have regained his abused fledgling's trust again, and happy at the return of his very mutual feelings. Singe was peaceful in his arms, head on Lucian's chest, but a great deal of time would have to pass before there could be any sexual contact between them. Even after his wounds had vanished, Singe would need to heal the place in his mind where the torment still lingered. He had told Lucian that he had been a virgin before the rape, and the lycan leader had promised to show him that there was another side to sex between males, as well.

"But not now," he said. "When you feel you're ready. When you do, let me know."

Singe nodded, smiling gratefully at his leader, his beloved. "Thank you, Lucian."

The older lycan kissed Singe, giving him a look of such sincerity and love as he watched him fade into sleep.

"No, dear one," he replied, "I should be thanking you."

END