A Light in the Shadows

A/N: Three things.

I've come up with a bit of a soundtrack for the story that I'll post in a later chapter when things develop a little more.

Sorry for the length of time between updates. Couple of my friends brought me a souvenir of Con-Plague. Damn you both!!! D:<

And a HUGE thank you to the fanfic god(dess? pretty sure it's the latter... if not, please don't be offended! >.<) musashi for descending from the heavens to give me a review (I fangirled so hard I scared my kid XD) and permission to use her method of Human/Mech interface as presented in her AMAZINGLY HOT fic "Xeno"! *Runs off squeeing*


:comm:


::Cybertronian::

thinking during conversation I realize i may have used this in previous chapters to denote emphasis on a word or phrase, but I've recently discovered the < b > function lol. I'm such a n00b >_<

Warnings! This chapter contains: Abuse(psych), Angst(wondering if I should keep warning you, or just leave it as a given -_-), Language, (remembered)Mindfuckery

Hahaha, still no smut. I'm working on it, I swear! Next chapter for sure. XD
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Track 6: Iris-GooGoo Dolls
Chapter 6
Touch


Terror. Death. Screaming. Pleas for mercy silenced by a crackling burst of plasma or the deafening clatter of a chaingun.

Warm satisfaction at watching the azure glow fade from a dying mech's optics.

Ruby optics in a jagged face reflected in the dead mech's armor.

'Thief, trespasser, abomination. You are mine.'

No.

A low growl. 'It is not a question. Mine.'

I am my own.

'Submit.' Blazing scarlet optics boring into her mind.

No.

An enraged roar followed by searing pain.
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Lexi woke with a shriek, tumbling to the floor in a knot of limbs and blankets.

'Fucking nightmares. Fucking Megatron.' She extricated herself from the tangle, grumbling as she stood and hurled the wad of linens against the mattress.

Fucking scientists and their fucking research. Who subjects an ten-year old to that?! 'Touch NBE-01 Lexi. It'll be just like the little 'bots. Tell us what you see Lexi. There's nothing scary about it, Lexi. It's all in your head, Lexi. Oh, sorry Lexi, we missed the first set, could you do it again?' Fuck.

At least she had some privacy. Having her own personal quarters, cramped as they were, was one of the perks of being the only female on base. That and private showers.

She stumbled over to her desk and began jotting down the content of her latest subconscious foray. Fucking Ratchet and his fucking research. Yes, I'm a freak. No, I don't want to be studied and observed. Oh, you're going to bully me into it by denying me social contact? Well by all means then, because you know, I haven't had enough of that!

She huffed angrily and took a few deep breaths, getting angry doesn't change anything. Two more weeks Lex, two more weeks. Fucking quarantine.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sixteen days ago-11:42pm


Lexi crouched beneath a rocky outcropping and glanced up at the moon, trying to estimate how many hours had passed since they dumped her out here and told her to make her way back to base.

Her eyes darted across the quiet desert, paranoid. There were four of them out there, waiting. She listened intently, trying to catch the faintest sound in the crushing silence. There. The quiet hiss of falling sand punctuated by the soft whirr of a charging cannon. She held her breath as the edge of a silver helm broke the silhouette of the nearby rocks. Her heart was racing as he approached with a silence she didn't think was possible for such a large being.

Now. As passed her hiding place, apparently unaware of her presence, she seized her opportunity and pounced.

She scrambled up the chassis of the startled assassin, his segmented armor provided plenty of handholds as she evaded his grasp. There. Her hands darted between the plating on his neck and grasped a neural line tightly.

Sideswipe emitted grating mechanical roar torn from his vocalizer as she assaulted his cortex with forced images and sensations. He crouched and pivoted sharply, attempting to dislodge the human femme.

She clung tightly to the bundle of wires as she tapped his communications system and sent a high frequency screech across all-channels. Three nearby grunts followed by a series of Cybertronian cursing gave away the positions of her pursuers. She dove from his shoulder to the top of her previous shelter, rolling into a crouch and sprinting across the desert.

A series of loud thumps from behind followed by the staccato burst of a chain gun pressed her to run faster. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she dodged the charged blasts. This was supposed to be a test! Why are they shooting at me?! She dove behind a small cluster of rocks, wide-eyed and panting, praying that maybe she'd bought herself a moment or two to catch her breath. She clenched her hands into fists to stop them from shaking, the mad rush of adrenaline coursing through her making it impossible.

Ironhide watched the rocks for a moment before approaching and waving the others to follow, the kid had done alright for a first try. 'Might be NEST material after all.' He mused as he crept closer. She'd made it more than halfway back, farther than he thought she would. 'Even gave Sideswipe a run for his credits.' He chuckled to himself remembering the silver mech's incredulous cursing after the femme released him.

He must have startled her. All he had done was crouch and poke his head around the cluster of rocks to let her know she had done well, that it was time to head back. He hadn't expected her to react the way she did.

Lexi screamed and grasped his helm with a strength he didn't know she possessed. Images flashed in his cortex faster than he could process what each depicted. The only thing that stood out in each was a vague sense of destruction, of terror that surpassed simple fear. He watched in horror as the blue edges of her jade eyes slowly shifted to a dark crimson. Pain surged across the empathic bond with enough force to send his sensory arrays reeling into static. He could faintly hear Sideswipe yelling for Bumblebee. "Bee! BEE! Get her off! What the frag is she doing to him?!"

Bumblebee reacted before he could process the potential consequences of his actions, the continuous pulse of fear that had steadily grown over the last few hours pushed all rational thought out of his processor. He leapt forward and snatched her away from an increasingly furious Ironhide, clutching her to his chassis and repeating her name in an attempt to bring her back to herself. He jerked his head back with a yelp as she planted her palms over his spark chamber, the bond flared and pulsed, attempting to force her way through his security protocol.

Having seen enough, Ratchet stepped forward and pulsed a low electrical charge into the side of her neck, effectively tasing her into unconsciousness and ceasing her assault on Bumblebee's meta.

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"I apologize Ms. Corvin. I cannot allow you to interact with him, or any of the personnel here for that matter, until we are certain your...mutation does not pose a danger to us. I have obtained permission to keep you under quarantine for one month, or until it is determined you are not a threat." Fucking quarantine.

"Show you a threat..." She grumbled as he scanned her yet again, and found nothing.

The previous night's training exercise left the Autobots paranoid illustrious leader fairly wary of her. As a result he'd ordered Ratchet to put her under observation until they could figure out the extent of her abilities.

So, for the next thirty days, no physical contact. No Bumblebee. For some reason the latter was more depressing than the lack of freedom.

Speak of the devil...

Said mech rolled into the bustling hangar, releasing a laughing Sam from the passenger seat. She gave a half-hearted wave at the boisterous teen.

He returned her wave and jogged over. "Hey Lex. How ya' holdin' up?"

She shrugged noncommittally and forced a half-smile. "Meh. Ok I guess."

He waved to Ratchet and held up a finger in a 'just a minute' gesture. "Bee told me about the 'no contact' thing. That's gotta suck."

"Yeah, they're not letting me get within ten feet of him. Everyone else it's just 'no touching.'" She paused a moment, suddenly nervous. "How much did he tell you?" 'Cause I need more people thinking I'm a freak.

He shrugged and looked over his shoulder at the yellow mech, who was now sitting on the concrete and bobbing his head in time with the music. "Not much to be honest. He told me about all the restrictions and stuff. Probably giving you shit 'cause you're ex-Seven."

"Mmm." Safe. "Something like that. I'll catch you later Sam. I've got small arms practice with Sergeant Fremont. Tell Bee I said hi." She waved without looking back as she headed for the range.

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Lexi looked over the report, double checking it for errors one last time before tuning her communicator to Ratchet's personal frequency.

:Got a present for you doc-bot...:

:And what would that be Ms. Corvin?:

:Oh, just a report from one of my little subconscious jaunts:

:Hmm. How am I supposed to verify the validity of these reports?:

:You could just let me show you. I don't bite, really.:

:I'll pass. Come to the Repair Bay and bring your report with you. Ratchet out:

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The eye-wrenchingly yellow-green medic reviewed the sheet of paper detailing her nightmarish remembrance of her first Cybertronian encounter. Seriously, where did he get that color? Like a stoplight threw up.

"This is accurate?"

She cocked an eyebrow and glared at him from under her bangs, "No, I just felt like waking up two hours after falling asleep and fucking with you. Yes it's accurate!"

"Calm yourself Alexandra, my aim was not to offend you." His optics never left the paper.

"Lexi." She said flatly and folded her arms.

"Excuse me?" That got his attention. He appeared confused as he looked up from her report.

"Lexi. Not Alexandra. Never liked the name. Product of a team of idealistic morons."

The medic stared blankly for a moment, eyes dimming as he accessed the internet, then chuckled softly.

"What?"

"Your name Ms. Corvin. Your mother had high expectations for you."

Not this shit again... She rolled her eyes and developed a newfound interest in the dirt under her fingernails. "Just a name."

"Mmm. True. However, the meaning I found is-" His explanation was cut short as her head whipped up to face him, jade eyes blazing.

"I know what it means!" Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair and dropped her head a little. "Sorry. I'm just tired and the nightmares tend to get me on edge."

"I understand. I had no intention of upsetting you. I apologize as well."

Her shoulders slumped at the Autobot's earnest apology. What the hell's wrong with you. "s'alright Ratchet. People just have a tendency to expect too much when they put the name together with, well, everything else. I'm not delusional. I don't carry any misconceptions that I'll ever live up to it. Like I said, idealistic morons."

The medic nodded absently as he reached the conclusion of her report. "Hmm. I would like to have your report reviewed by Agent Simmons. Would you be averse to this?" He watched her face carefully, blue optics searching jade eyes for any sign of hostility or dissatisfaction.

She merely shrugged, nodding her assent. "Sure. Whatever works for you."

His facial components shifted in a strange semblance of a smile. "Thank you Ms. Corv-, Lexi."

He rose to leave and stopped, turning to face her again and bending down to place a small piece of paper in her hands. "That is Bumblebee's personal comm frequency, you may access it from your two-way communicator. He requested I give it to you if you wished to speak with him. I was...uncertain if it was wise for you to possess such information, but, you have been cooperative so far and I can see no harm in allowing you to speak with him."

He turned to leave, smiling to himself as his audio receptors picked up her faint "Thank you."

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Lexi shrugged off her robe and grabbed her comm off the desk, flopping on the bed with the scrap of paper in hand. She rolled onto her back and punched in the number, squinting at the last three digits. Christ, he's got handwriting like a five-year old...

She waited anxiously through a series of short clicking sounds followed by a short ascending chirp. The soft hiss of static filled the line for a moment, broken by a low trill interspersed with soft clicks. Maybe it's the wrong frequency...

:Bumblebee?:

More static and a click. His voice was a little staticky as he answered, sounding surprised.
:Lexi? Slag, I was starting to think you didn't want to talk to me.: The scout laughed softly over the comm as he continued. "I asked Ratchet to give you my freq two weeks ago. He make you earn it or something?

She laughed nervously and turned on her side to face the wall. :Yeah, or something. Rewarded for good behavior I guess.:

:So, how've you been? Sam said you miss me.:

He picked up on that? Pretty observant for a guy...:I-:

He interrupted before she could continue, sparing her an awkward confession. :Well, he didn't say you said that, but he said it was pretty obvious. I, uh, I miss you too.:

She blushed and curled up on her side, bringing her knees to her chest. Fucking quarantine. Fucking Ratchet. Fucking Prime. If I could just touch you. We could skip all this awkward fumbling for words that can't express the depth of how much I just want to touch you...
:Bee, I...:

She took a deep breath and swallowed thickly. Don't cry dammit! Last thing you want is for him to think you're some weepy clingy thing.

Bumblebee was nearly overwhelmed by the intense wave of emotion that rolled across his processor. Sorrow and anger and loneliness. Emptiness and...love. :Lexi? Are you ok? I can feel...something. What's wrong?:

:I can't do this Bee. I can't touch anybody. Human or mech. Not until Ratchet's done testing the extent of my projection.:

:It's ok-: He searched for the words to make her feel better, to tell her he- what? What did he want to tell her?

No it's not. :I want...just...a handshake, a pat on the shoulder, a hug,something.: Anything...

He was silent for a moment as he weighed the potential consequences. Her quiet sniff decided for him. :Meet me at the butte.:

She wiped her cheeks with the back of one hand and took a deep breath to steady her voice, when she heard the familiar series of clicks, whirring sounds, and pressurizing hisses that told her he'd assumed his alt-mode. :Wait, do what now? We can't! Do you have any idea how much shit we'll get for this?! They'll throw me out!:

He revved his engine as he raced across the desert. :Prime won't throw you out. One, you've seen too much, and two, they'll never know.:

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"Thank you Sideswipe." She patted the inside of the door as they sped toward the butte. The Corvette apparently owed Bumblebee a rather large favor and, at the latter's request, was providing her with a much faster method of transportation.

"Mmm. Nothin' else to do and it's a nice night. Good time to get out and drive."

She nodded absently as she gazed out the window. There were so many stars out tonight. Beautiful. "I don't need to tell you that this stays between us right?"

"Yeah, 'cause I'm totally going running to Prime later and telling him you and Bumblebee violated a standing quarantine and I helped." Had he been in his mech form he would have rolled his optics.

She swatted the dashboard in feigned irritation. "Smartass."

"Aft."

"What?" She raised an eyebrow, curious.

"If you haven't noticed, I don't have what you so affectionately refer to as an 'ass'. So, 'Smartaft'."

She shrugged and turned her attention back to the passing scenery.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sideswipe pulled up alongside the hiking path leading up the side of the butte. "'S far as I go. Not really built for climbing." Lexi climbed out and stretched, patting the silver Corvette's door with a smile. "Thanks Sides, I owe you." He shifted into reverse and backed up from under her hand. "No. I did this as a favor for Bumblebee. You owe me nothing."

She watched in hurt silence as the Corvette took off with a roar, dirt and gravel spraying from the tires. 'Like you're really surprised, he saw what you did yesterday, can you blame him?' She turned and began the short hike up the butte, grumbling to herself when she stumbled over the occasional patch of loose gravel.

The sight at the top left her speechless. Bumblebee was leaning back against a large rock, one leg kicked out in front of him, relaxed and gazing at the clear starry sky. She quietly approached and laid a hand on his arm. "Wow Bee, this is beautiful. I can see for miles." He nodded and picked her up, settling her in his lap. "I enjoy coming up here when I need to center myself. Sometimes after a battle, other times just to think. Do you like it?"

She nodded, smiling as she stood and laid a hand on his knee. "Sorry I kinda broke down on you earlier." He shook his head and gently brushed his fingers over her shoulder. "Don't be. Nobody can be strong all the time. We all need our moments of weakness in order to keep things in perspective." She glanced over her shoulder and smiled, new unshed tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. "I know, it's just...Well, I had this stupid hope that here, for once, I wouldn't be judged, wouldn't be ridiculed and ostracized for merely existing."

He made a soothing noise in his vocalizer, gently stroking her hair as she began to quiver slightly. "Give them time. People, and mechs, have a tendency to be wary of things they don't understand." She let out a trembling sigh and turned to face him. "Would it be weird if I asked you for a hug? Just, all this recent shit..."

The yellow mech laughed softly and gathered her into his arms, taking care not to catch her hair in the joints of his servos. He smiled as she laid her head on the armor covering his spark chamber and began to trace the edges of his armor with her fingertips. "Better?"

She nodded and relaxed against the warm metal, content to just be held and know she was safe. The soft rythmic hum of his spark lulled her into a light, peaceful sleep.

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She slept until dawn, pulled from her peaceful slumber by the first rays of sunlight cresting over the distant mountains. Shit. She lifted her head and glanced at the apparently sleeping mech, smiling as his facial components occasionally twitched. He's cute when he's asleep... "Bee."

He onlined his optics and shuttered them a few times to focus. Morning. Frag, he'd fallen into recharge. 'Prime's going to slag me.' He dropped his gaze to the human femme resting on his armor and laid a hand across her back, stroking her hair with his thumb. "Good morning Lexi, did you sleep well?"

She nodded, blushing slightly as she reached behind her and pushed at the hand that had unwittingly been placed on her backside. "Yeah, but we need to get back. Chances are, somebody may have already noticed we're gone." Bumblebee held her to his chest and carefully stood, making his way down the butte with a precision she wouldn't have thought someone of his size capable.

When they reached the bottom he set her down a few feet away and folded himself into his alt-mode, opening the driver door as he finished. "Now," He waited until she was buckled before heading for the park exit. "You know I can't drive in with you, correct?" She nodded absently as she thought over different excuses she could give if asked why she was off-base all night. "I can drop you off about a half mile out, but that's the closest I'm willing to risk. I'm sorry."

She shook her head and patted the steering wheel softly, "Don't be. I'm not averse to a little walking." She smiled as she traced the Autobot symbol on his steering wheel, "So, you were on patrol and I went for a walk because I couldn't sleep. Nightmares and such. Right?"

"Correct."

"You saw me walking alone and followed me back to base to ensure I got back ok."

"You've got it. Are you ready?"

She clicked open the seatbelt buckle as he slowed to a stop, "As I can be." She turned to climb out and hesitated, "Bee?"

"Yes Lexi?"

"Thank you...for last night. I wanted to tell you now, since I probably won't be able to see you again for a while." She climbed out and stood, trailing her fingers down the hood as she proceeded toward the south entrance.

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Two weeks later.


"Optimus, I have completed my study of Ms. Corvin."

"Your findings?"

"She is safe unless threatened. The incident with Ironhide seems to have been an isolated incident triggered by fear. She felt threatened and an 'alternate' consciousness superceded her better judgement."

"Alternate Consciousness? Please elaborate."

"I have spoken with Agent Simmons in regards to the origin of her 'talents', and studied portions of her genetic structure to provide a more detailed idea of what we are presented with. Ms. Corvin's ability to communicate within a Cybertronian processor is initiated by touch. The scientists of Sector 7 discovered this when she was still very young and repeatedly required her to initiate contact with the stasis-locked Megatron. Such frequent exposure left...traces...of his memories in her mind. You are familiar with her conception?"

"Yes, the Major and I discussed Agent Simmons report."

"Good. I have a theory regarding the spark they used to buffer the embryo from the radiation. I believe that rather than being destroyed, as the human scientists believed, that the base coding of the spark fused with the embryo."

"How does this pertain to the 'Alternate Consciousness' you mentioned before?"

"According to my theory, since all of earth's technology is reverse-engineered from Megatron, it carries a resonance of his coding. A sentient bot was created using reverse-engineered technology and the power of the Allspark, and it's spark used in the creation of a new being. I believe that this anomaly is a faint resonance of Megatron. She was genetically attuned to his meta from birth, and I believe repeated exposures throughout her childhood unlocked this portion of her mind."

"I see. This only happens when she is threatened, correct?"

"Yes Optimus. Otherwise, she poses no threat to us."

"You have tested what will cause her to feel threatened?"

"Yes sir. Only when she is fear of her life will the anomaly surface. I personally tested this with a squad of NEST soldiers on hand to subdue her if she should attack. She behaved normally until I feigned anger and pinned her, cycling my weapons on for effect. I do not believe the soldiers expected her to react so strongly. It took three of them to remove her."

"Mmm.You believe she is not a threat."

"Correct sir."

"Remove the quarantine, but Ratchet-"

"Yes Optimus?"

"Watch her. Anything suspicious, report to me."

"Understood"



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A/N: In case you hadn't noticed, Lexi likes the word 'fuck'. It's her angry word. I tried to get her to pick something milder and she told me, in no uncertain terms, to 'fuck off.' o_0 Cranky bitch.