Never Wanted This

Okay, well I re-wrote the start of this chapter more times than I want to admit because I couldn’t decide whether Will figured out what that Varga had drugged him or not. I finally decided on not, although he can tell something was wrong. Sometimes the poor guy’s just too naive for his own good.

Well everyone who has been waiting for Jack to finally show up, and wondering at his reactions to this situation will be pleased... as will all the Varga haters. =D

No, as I mentioned in a previous chapter, as tempting as some J/W would be, it just doesn’t seem to fit into the way I see the end of this story working out. So there won’t be any at this time in this story, sorry!

I have no idea exactly how much of the drug is too much ‘coz I don’t know exactly what it is or what would have been available at that time in history, but I’m imagining that it is possible to over dose on any drug. Especially since I’m kind of likening this particular aphrodisiac to some kinds of date rape drugs. Again, that’s probably giving them stuff they couldn’t have had back then, but you know, artistic license and all that. They didn’t really have cursed ghost people either. :o)

WOW I just talked a lot, sorry, I’ll bla blathering.


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CHAPTER SEVEN:
*~~*~~*


Arms stretched out, giving thanks to pain
Spotlight looking down, I'm ashamed
Kneeling with my forehead to the ground
I canelp elp but flinch before I'm found

I don’t need you! Can't you see behind?
Doesn't matter now – doesn’t matter anymore
Maybe made me, get me out of this
Never wanted this – Never needed this!
--Stone Sour

After that day in the meadow, Will’s world was plunged into a dark void of confusion. He did indeed hurt like hell when he woke up, but worse was the vague and often unreliable memories of what he had so willingly participated in. The drugs stole most of his clear recollections away, but the little he could remember horrified him, and seemed only all the more twisted by that which he could not remember. The next day or two, he sphourhours throwing up until they gave way to nothing but dry, painful heaves, the illness brought on almost as much from hateful disgust as from having been drunk and drugged.

Somewhere, he knew something was wrong. His extreme hangover felt like something more than just the result of too much wine, but he had never had any experience with the drugs Varga had given him, or even heard over much about such things, so he did not make the connection.

Varga played the nice guy now, bringing Will oranges to help his headaches and illness and acting *almost* considerate at times. As soon as they were in bed together of course nothing had changed, except it seemed, in Will. He still hated what he was forced to do... or did he? Because more and more often it seemed that he was not just responding, but initiating. He did not know that Varga was still occasionally drugging his food and drink so he had no comprehension of when he was in control and when he wasn’t, or why he continued to behave so oddly sometimes. He could only come to the horrible conclusion that somehow Varga was right and part of him really had taken to this twisted life and seemed to enjoy it.

Depression and hopelessness began to pull the young man down fast.

“Kneel,” Varga’s command was reluctantly, but quietly obeyed and Will knelt on the cold stone floor. They were inspecting warehouses down by the docs when Varga’s mood had swung and during a recess from work he pullell all away behind the huge shipping crates. Will had undressed without being asked, knowing what they were there for. It simply didn’t pay to fight anymore. Varga always had his way and by now Will was so confused he didn’t know what he wanted and didn’t want.

Will crossed his wrists and laid his forehead just under them, against the ground. He couldn’t help flinching when Varga entered him with little or no preparation, but he remained still, letting Varga take his pleasure out in him. The motion made him weak at the knees, but Varga was not choosing to make it a mutual experience right now so he just knelt there and waited for his master to finish using him.

Suicide had begun to look very appealing and Will wasn’t sure what kept him from slitting his own throat rather than continue to live in this hell... perhaps it was the fear that he had already lost his soul and he would be trading one purgatory for another.

Varga finished his business and slumped against Will’s back. Will remained still, supporting them both on his hands and knees, because Varga had not given him permission to do otherwise. The older man started to rise, but then on second thought took pity on Will and slid his hand between the boy’s legs, driving him up to a quick high.

Will accepted the rush of adrenaline and pleasure because he knew by now it was useless to resist it. One so totally devoid of hope and any real love or caring had to take comfort in whatever kind of pleasure there was in life, even if it was twisted and shameful... just like he had become.

Was this it then? Will wondered as he rose numbly to his feet, putting his clothes back on while Varga walked away. Was this all he would ever be good for? All that was left of his life? To be Varga’s plaything until the man tired of him? To be at the beck and call of his tormenter? To need the touch he hated to be able to carry on?
Will clenched his fists, one small spark of spirit still remaining within him. No. This could not be the end. His body may act the whore, but his mind was still totally against it all... that counted for something didn’t it? He didn’t want this. He *didn’t* need this.... but his mind’s cry was one lone voice in an ever widening sea of despair.


*~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~*


Jack Sparrow walked easily down the long hall. It was the first time he’d been in the Governor’s mansion. Thus far the plan was going perfectly. The Black Pearl had been halted only briefly in the harbor, but the quartermaster Varga had left in control of the galleons remembered Sparrow and the Pearl. It had taken little convincing to let them through once Jack spun his story for them and from there it was simply an easy walk up the street to the Governor’s house, where Varga now made his headquarters.

It had been agreed that Jack would scout out the town and the defenses first, so that when the time of attack came the crew of the Pearl would know exactly where to go and what to Th Then, when the time was right, the plan would spring into motion and Norington would bring his fleet out of hiding beyond the point.

Jack had been told he would have to wait, as the Commandante was currently otherwise engaged in an important meeting, but after a few minutes the pirate’s scanty patience ran out and he went to find the man for himself.

“Sir, sir! Please, I must ask you to wait here,” Constance ran after the pirate anxiously.

Jack smiled a diing ing grin at her. “No need to call me sir, luv. Captain Sparrow at your service, but for a lovely flower like yourself, ye can call me Jack.” He kissed her hand.

Constance flushed deeply, but was not displeased.

“Now, I have to see the Commandante and I haven’t got much time, I won’t keep ‘im long, I promise,” Jack assured, turning away again.

“Wait!” Constance shook her head. “You can’t just go barging into his bedchambers, he’ll be angry!”

Jack’s grin widened. “Ah, he’s in his bedchambers is he? Thank ye, I would have had a hard time finding him else. Must be some... meeting... he’s having.” With that the pirate walked away, leaving a flustered maid behind.

Jack opened the door without knocking and leaned against the doorframe. Varga was sitting on the side of the bed, leaning over someone who had one arm bound to the bedpost next to them. Both were actually fully clothed at the moment but the Spaniard had been busily involved in kissing up the side of his partner’s neck when Jack’s unceremonious interruption made him stop and look up.

From whhe she stood Jack could not see the face Varga’s consort, just the back of a head and wavy chestnut hair that spilled down onto the sheets. However when Varga leaned up, Jack *could* tell that it was no woman in the Commandante’s bed.

“Still a lecherous old pirate I see,” Jack cocked a grin, leaning his head sideways against the doorframe. “Oh please, don’t let me interrupt you... after all they kept telling me what an important meeting this was...”

Varga laughed, sitting up and straightening his rumpled shirt. “I had word you were coming Sparrow. I’ll admit I was surprised to hear it.”

Will froze. He knew that voice. He did not neo heo hear Varga say the name to know who it belonged to. A thousand emotions raced fleetingly through his heart, hope and despair warring it out inside him. He felt sure that Jack would help him if he could, but he hated for the pirate to see him here, especially like this. He hated for anyone to know what he had become.

“Ah, but not disappointed to hear it,” Jack waltzed into the room and plopped down into one of Varga’s well-stuffed chairs, casually putting his feet up an end table. His gaze strayed to the bed again where Varga was tucking his shirt back in and the young man he had been lathering his affections on was sitting up a little uncertainly... oh merciful heaven.

Jack’s face betrayed no change in emotion, save perhaps for a momentary flicker in his dark, expressive eyes, but his heart froze. Will. It was Will on the bed with his right hand bound to the bedpost, his shirt open and disheveled and his lips a little swollen and flushed from too much recent attention. Part of Jack was thrilled to see that Will was in fact still alive, and the other part was horrified because he knew what kind of man Varga was.

Will caught his eyes for only a moment before quickly dropping them and looking away.

Varga saw Jack’s gaze lingering on Will and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“I see you’ve got yourself a new trollop,” Jack said casually, his gaze shifting back to Varga. He saw Will flinch almost unnoticeably and wished the boy wouldn’t take that personal... but Jack had an act to keep up. Besides, saying more and yet less than what he meant was his way.

“Mm,” Varga nodded, ruffling his hand lightly through Will’s hair and lettins has hand slid down the boy’s shoulder. “Quite a wild colt to start with... but with the right training anyone can be broken.” He dropped his head down to lay another kiss on Will’s lips.

Will accepted the gesture helplessly, but did not respond. He couldn’t stand Varga playing with him like this in front of Jack; it made it a hundred times worse than otherwise.

Jack wondered if Varga realized that he was sealing his own fate ever more firmly as he laid his unwanted attentions on Will.

The pirate had adopted a persona that refused to care about anything and showed no emotion beyond his perpetually unsinkable cheer... but that did not always reflect what was inside, and Jack’s heart burned hotly as he saw the hopelessness flickering in Will’s deep brown eyes.

Jack coughed to remind Varga that he was there and the other man brought his head back up reluctantly. Jack grinned ingratiatingly.

“All right, all right,” Varga chuckled. “Business before pleasure then. I hear you come with an interesting offer.”

“I do indeed,” Jack nodded. “And one ye can’t afford to pass up if I may say so. Now I hear tell that the British are hampering your supply routes, but of course all your ships are tied up guarding the harbor. So I says to me self: Jack, I wonder what they’d pay for someone else to take care of that shipping problem for them...”

Varga’s eyes narrowed calculatingly. It was an excellent idea and just the sort of thing that he had hoped Jack had come about. He was a little surprised, because the last time they had dealings Jack had not given the impression that he was interested in working together again... *ever*. But times changed he supposed, and Sparrow always was one with an to tto the profit.

“Well it’s nothing we couldn’t work out for ourselves eventually...” Varga lied, sliding into bargaining mode.

“You’re right,” Jack hopped up from his chair, heading for the door. “Sorry ta have bothered ye.”

“Sparrow, wait!” Varga called him back, exasperated.

Jack returneth ath a jaunty saunter.

“I suppose I should know better than to bluff you Sparrow. You know very well that I’ll take your offer. The terms we can discuss a little later... perhaps over a drink and some dinner?” Varga did want to work things out with Jack, but that could keep for an hour or so and he was obviously trying to get rid of the pirate for the moment as he had other things on his mind. Other things... chief of which was currently tied to his bed and awaiting his attention.

Jack knew that was his cue to bow out gracefully, but he hated leaving Will alone with Varga again. “I do have to get back ta the ship to let them know... they get mighty restless these days...” he tried to press the other man into coming with him now.

“Sparrow... out. We’ll talk later.” Varga was not going for it.

Jack shrugged as if he did not really care and walked out. He almost flinched when Varga shut the door behind him and the pirate cd hid his eyes, leaning his forehead against the wall as Varga’s voice came to him in muffled tones from the other side of the door.

“Now then, where were we...” there was a long silence and the sound of the mattress creaking. Then a sharp, sudden crack like someone being slapped and a small, surprised cry of pain. Will’s voice.

“What exactly did you mean trying to humiliate me in front of Sparrow like that?” Varga snarled angrily. “I’ve told you a hundred times to respond when I kiss you!”

Another slap. And another.

Suddenly the door reopened and a very irritated Varga looked up from where he was straddling Will with his hand poised to strike again to see Jack’s grinning face in the doorway. “Blast it all Sparrow what do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“Hm, yes, yes I can see that,” Jack nodded agreeably, silently noting with quiet ire Will’s flushed and reddened cheeks and the small trickle of blood starting in the cornf hif his mouth. “Very busy and I won’t keep ye for but a moment. But I just thought you should know that while I’m in Port Royal you’ll be paying me by the hour,” he said cheerfully. “Well, I’ll just go help me self to your liquor cabinet while I wait. Carry on.” He pulled his head back out the door and closed it.

A few moments later a none-to-pleased Varga appeared in the doorway and Jack smiled. He thought that might just get the Commandante.

“Very well Sparrow, we’ll talk now if you’re in such a hurry. Don’t go anywhere Will, I’ll be back and you’re not out of trouble yet,” he warned darkly as he shut the door and left with Jack.

Will turned and buried his burning face against the cool sheets, trying to breathe deeply. He had a feeling Jack had done that just to keep Varga away from him... he wondered if Jhad had any idea how very much too late it was for that. Well, if the pirate talked to Varga for very long he would soon know all about it. Will moaned softly into the bed. He had rarely ever felt so wretched.


*~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~*


Night was setting on the island. Jack glanced at the sinking sun impatiently. All right. There. Enough. That was the signal. Norington’s ships would use the cover of the approaching darkness to leave their hiding places and sneak out to engage the harbor ships.

The crew of the Black Pearl was poised and ready for action. At Jack’s command they would begin pelting the town with cannon fire while the landing parties hurried ashore and took out all the Spanish sentries whom Jack had spied out earlier.

There was one small change in plans however. Now Jack intended to go ashore alone first, leaving Anna Maria and Gibbs in charge of the invasion.

“Jack, are you sure this is wise?” his first mate questioned as Jack slid over the side and into the rowboat.

“Anna Maria luv, I trust you to run things as well as I could. However if anyone lands a cannon ball on me by accident, I’ll be holding ye responsible.” He grinned roguishly.

“Jack...”

The pirate shook his head. His mind would not be changed. “Trust me. Everythin’ will go according to plan. But I have some unfinished business in the Governor’s mansion.”

Anna Maria understood then, having heard from Jack when he returned earlier only that Will was alive, and Varga’s prisoner. She didn’t know Varga, but he had an ill reputation as a mercenary soldier and black-hearted bastard. “Bring him back safe then,” she whispered in parting as Sparrow disappeared into the night.

Jack made his way quickly and silently through the darkened town. There was no one in the streets since the sundown curfew was strictly enforced on pain of death. Jack would not have been hindered, since he had Varga’s free leave to wander as he wished, but he kept his movements hidden and stealthy anyway. Just as well to not invite trouble.

Port Royal was not the town it had been. Varga’s strangle hold on it was slowly choking the life from it, just as Jack knew it would.

Slipping over the wall surrounding the Governor’s mansion Jack dropped to the ground as noisslyssly as a cat. He had pulled his hair back with a scarf to silence the jingle and moved quietly across the darkened lawn, slipping in a rear window that he had intentionally left open when he was in the house earlier.

From the outside he had seen the light burning in the window to Varga’s bedchambers and that was where he was headed now. Through the window at the end of the darkened hallway he saw the pale moon riding slowly up the sky and quickened his steps. All hell was going to break loose very soon. In more ways than one.

Will wrapped his hands in the bed sheets, twisting and gripping them hard, trying to muffle his half-screams of pain.

Varga, kneeling over him, did not care that he was hurting the boy very badly. He was still punishing Will for earlier in the day. In truth, he enjoyed punishing the boy far too much.

This time, Varga, intent on his cruel sport, did not hear the door slide silently open. He did not know anything was amiss until he heard the sound of a pistol being cocked directly behind him.

Freezing and turning slowly, Varga was surprised to find himself looking up into Jack’s face. His eyes widened in surprise.

“Get off the boy,” Jack commanded, his voice hard as flint. That was an unusual tone for the normally laid-back pirate and Varga obeyed hesitantly, cursing as he got off the bed and stood up, his hands spread a little to the side.

Will sat up somewhat painfully, pulling the bed sheets around him and watching as Jack held the gun to his tormenter’s head.

“Sparrow!” Varga fumed. “Are you mad?!”

“You know, I’m going to get tired of people asking that,” Jack cocked his head to the side, the pistol in his hand still pointed steadily at Varga’s forehead. The boom and rattle of cannon fire shook the earth, but Jack was expecting it and did not flinch.

Varga looked wildly around. “What in the devil is that?!”

“The sound of your defeat Varga...” Jack said with a dark smile. “That be the Pearl, pummeling your pathetic defenses into the dust. No, you needn’t worry about your ships in the harbor, some friends of mine with the British navy are taking care of them.”

Varga saw everything beginning to crumble around him and shook his head. “Jack... Jack... you don’t want to do this. You think they’ll thank you? They’ll thank you with a noose you fool! You’re just a pirate to them, something to use and throw away. Now I’m willing to overlook this incident. I can make you a very wealthy man Jack, wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, you name it and you can have it!”

Jack just smiled. “I mighta took you up on that Varga... if I didn’t know what a cheating, back-stabbing liar you are. But after this...” he nodded his head towards Will. “The only place I want to see you and your money is the bottom of Davey Jones’ locker.” The pirate’s gold-plated grin flashed ominously in the dim light.

Varga looked truly nervous now as he saw Jack’s hand tightening on the pistol at his head. “What in hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Sending you *to* hell, where you belong,” Jack said quietly. There was a loud bang and a flash and a moment later Varga was lying on the floor. Dead.

Will just stared for a few moments, ue toe to believe that Varga was dead, that it was really over. He flinched when Jack touched his cheek to make him look up and the pirate drew his hand away quickly.

“Will, can ye walk? We best be getting out of here double sharp,” Jack looked around, knowing someone would have heard that shot, even with all the commotion outside. “It’s best if we can get ye back to the Pearl.”

Moving stiffly, but quickly, Will slid his clothes back on and followed Jack out of the room. As Jack stepped over Varga’s lifeless body he gave it a small kick, turning back to glance at Will who was following him, but obviously in pain. The scene he had encountered when he entered the bedroom a few minutes before was not one that was going to leave Jack’s mind easily.

“I’m sorry Will,” he murmured. “He didn’t deserve to die that quick and easy.”

Will just shook his head. Varga was dead, and he was getting out of here, that was all he cared about.

The crew of the Black Pearl was fighting in the streets now with the Spanish soldiers and away in the bay one could see the flashes and fires of the navel battle underway out there.

But Jack did not allow Will to stop to help, there were plenty who could fight here, he needed to get Will somewhere safe. The young man was trembling and still in a state of semi-shock.

“Who?” Will nodded towards the harbor as the pair hurried down a darkened hill, heading for the familiar shape of the Black Pearl.

“Our dear friend Commodore Noringiton,” Jack grimaced and then laughed. “Making himself useful for once.”

Will caught arm arm. “Then they made it away safely? Elizabeth, she’s safe?”

“She’s safe lad, she’s safe,” Jack assured as he steered the younger man towards the waiting ship. “Awaiting the good news in Port Merrybrook with her father. The good Commodore nearly had to hog tie her to keep her from coming with us though,” the pirate chuckled.

Will smiled slightly. With Elizabeth, he didn’t doubt it... but then his smile faltered as reality came crashing back down upon his hurting shoulders. Elizabeth... how was he ever going to face her again?

TBC..