Single Minded Purpose

Used and Abused

Disclaimer: I don’t own the Matrix, blah blah blah.

Sarah groggily and very reluctantly opened her eyes in response to the repeated pounding on her door. Go away, she thought, burrowing her head under the pillow and waited for the beating of the insistent fist of whoever wanted in at this hour to subside, but it did not. Goddamn it, she cursed and fumbled her robe on with sleepy fingers and left the warmth and security of her bed to give whatever asshole was on the other side of the door a good piece of her mind.

She yanked open the door and the words of anger died on her lips when she saw it was Smith. Sarah was startled not only by his presence but by his appearance as well. Something had gone wrong—she could see it in the expression in his eyes. Her female intuition told her to close the door in his face, to bolt it shut so that he could not enter, but she was not able to move.

“Can I come inside?” he asked huskily.

Sarah nodded silently and stood aside to let him in. “Do you want something to drink?” she asked when she had closed the door behind him. She wrinkled her nose as she caught the whiff of brandy that clung to his clothes. It was obvious that he had already been drinking a lot, judging by the smell alone.

“Yes, I’d like that,” he responded, sitting down heavily on her sofa. When she came out of her kitchen, he grabbed the bottle of beer from her hand and drank it until the bottle was empty.

“Jeez, Smith, what happened?”

“I saw him again. I wanted to let Mr. Anderson know that I am still alive so I delivered my old earpiece to the guards who were guarding that steel door so that they could pass it along to him. And they did.”

“What happened?”

“As soon as I left, the upgrades found him and engaged him in hand to hand combat.”

“And?”

“He took all three of them on at once, and less than a minute later, they were all defeated.” Smith shook his head in reluctant admiration. “He just walked away while they did not get up again. It was unbelievable, Sarah. He now has such strength, such power; I know that if we had encountered each other again, he would be the winner, not me.”

“What are you going to do? I mean, what can you do? If he is really as strong as you say, how can you beat him?”

“I don’t know. But I must try to figure out a way. I must,” Smith growled in anger and frustration.

“You want to talk about it? Maybe between the two of us, we can think of something?”

“No,” Smith said bluntly. And I seriously doubt that you have the intelligence to think of something that might actually be useful to me in this circumstance.

“Talk? That is a human trait, a need, a desire to tell your deepest, darkest problems to someone else so you can feel better and forget about it. No,” he said angrily, getting to his feet, “I most certainly do not want to talk about it.”

“Then why the hell did you wake me up at this hour if you didn’t want to talk?” demanded Sarah. “Why did you bother to come over at all?” She clicked her tongue in annoyance. “Why don’t you just leave then, and let me go back to sleep?”

“Sleep? Yes, that’s it. I definitely need to sleep, but not in the way you think,” he said huskily, his arms going around her and holding her tightly against his body.

“You are a woman and I am a man, in a manner of speaking of course, but even you cannot question my intentions now.” His mouth began to nuzzle the sensitive area of her neck, growling deep in his throat as he tasted her flesh. No, Sarah, he thought as he continued to touch her, there is only reason why I would come to you at this time of night and it certainly is not emotional in nature.

“No, Smith. Stop it,” she ordered, trying to disengage herself from his iron embrace, but his grip was too strong and he would not, or could not, relinquish his hold on her. This is just great, she thought sarcastically, now I have to deal with a drunk and horny ex-agent in my living room, panting in my ear and pawing at my body.

“I want you, Sarah, I need you. Don’t turn me away,” Smith said, his voice hoarse and dry. She closed her eyes and put her arms around him. Despite the lateness of the hour and the tiredness of her body, her passion was kindled when she felt his lips and mouth against her throat, nearly scorching it with the heat of his desire. He fumbled with the belt on her robe before he snarled with impatience and ripped it off her body until it lay on the floor at their feet.

Like millions of women before and millions of women after her, program and human, married or single, Sarah was about to learn the lesson that an intoxicated and aroused man only thinks of himself. He only performs enough foreplay to arouse the woman he wishes to be intimate with so that she is moist enough to receive him and Smith was no different.

The only thing, the only thought on his mind, was to get inside her as quickly as possible and fulfil his lust. His hands roamed freely and greedily over her body; touching and fondling, making Sarah groan with anticipation. He knew exactly where to touch her to obtain the response he wanted and she knew it. His mouth devoured hers voraciously, his need for her growing steadily until it reached a fever pitch and he was unable to wait any longer.

He pulled her to the floor and once Sarah was on her back, he shrugged his jacket off. He twitched his tie loose, but otherwise did not bother to remove the clothes on his upper body.

“Goddamn it Smith, can’t you wait long enough to take your clothes off?” Sarah angrily demanded, struggling to get out from beneath him. I don’t want it to be like this, she thought as she focused on trying to stop him from taking her before she was prepared enough for his entry.

“I don’t want to wait—I’m not going to wait any longer,” he growled and Sarah listened with fear in her heart as his hands scrabbled with his belt and pants in the darkness. She heard him curse to himself as he struggled to free himself from the constraints of his trousers, and for a moment, she thought she had enough time to escape.

She hissed in pain when he entered her quickly and deeply without warning. Smith groaned in pleasure as he buried his member to the hilt inside of her, his hands grasping her hips so he could begin the timeless rhythm of withdrawal and penetration that would bring him satisfaction.

But not to Sarah. And while this act of intimacy could not technically be called rape, it wasn’t far from it either.

Gone was any hint of the tenderness, any of the thoughtful consideration he had shown her during the first time they had been together in this way; here was Smith at his most primeval and base. He used her body without giving a thought to her needs or wants. The Smith she had known before and the one who was grunting and groaning on top of her now were two sides of the same coin—an example of the Matrix’s worst Jekyll and Hyde scenario. Like Henry Jekyll, he could be a handsome and charming man, but on the inside, and very much like Edward Hyde, he was a monster. And it was the Hyde side of his nature that was inside of her, making Sarah feel pain with the slightest movement.

Sarah lay quietly underneath him, her arms at her sides as she stared at her darkened ceiling, counting the number of times he thrust into her and wondered how long it would take him to climax. She knew that he was approaching his orgasm for his pace quickened and became more vigorous and purposeful—his goal was in sight for his orgasm was very close now and to Smith, that was all that mattered.

Sarah listened with a bitter heart as yet again he cried out a name that was not her own—she knew it belonged to the dead mother of his child; that one word injured her more deeply than his near-animalistic abuse up until now. Tears of humiliation as well as emotional pain flowed from her eyes for at no other time in her life could she remember being used in this manner. She waited until it was over and he no longer thrust inside of her before trying to get out from under him, but it was useless. He was dead weight and she could not move him.

“What are you doing?” he asked drowsily, his body already yearning for sleep and rest from the extremely pleasurable activity he had just indulged in. Satiated and content, Smith was in a languorous state of mind and felt no inclination to move.

“I want to take a shower, Smith, and I can’t do that unless you get off,” Sarah panted, pushing at his shoulders, hoping that he would take the hint and oblige.

“But I already have gotten off, as you say,” he teased smugly. “And besides, what if I don’t want to move? I like it where I am right now—between your legs and deep inside of you.”

“Not that deep,” she remarked dryly. “You’ve had what you came here for; now get off me so I can have what I want for a change, tonight.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice hardening. Bronwyn was the last woman he had had, and a memory of an argument about this same subject manner came boiling to the surface.

“Nothing. Just forget about it.”

Fortunately for her, Smith had imbibed too much alcohol earlier in the evening to pay attention to what she said, but unfortunately for her, Smith was the kind of male that became easily aroused by the struggles of a woman. He sniggered as he felt himself respond to Sarah’s unsuccessful attempts to wriggle away from beneath him.

“Resistance is futile,” he said with a smirk, “and in case you don’t know it yet, Agents always get what they want, whenever they want. And what I want right now, is you. Again.”

“What about what I want?” Sarah shot back. “I suppose that doesn’t matter, does it?”

“Not in the least,” he said brusquely, before he proceeded to take her again. He did not give Sarah any time to even think of anything to say before he quickly shifted his position and guided her head to his groin. He felt Sarah baulk, hesitating for a moment before she opened her mouth to envelop his half-erect penis with her lips. He groaned when she took some of his length into her mouth and his member became hard almost immediately afterward. He hissed sharply in a mixture of pain and pleasure as her teeth grazed his shaft.

“Don’t you even think of biting me,” he warned with a growl. “Take all of me inside; I know you can do it,” he ordered, and when she did not comply to his demands immediately, he grabbed her by the back of her neck and forced her to take all of him into her mouth. “That’s it,” he grunted, wildly bucking his hips forward and back with increased roughness and frequency. Sarah fought the urge to gag as she felt the head of his penis slam repeatedly against the back of her throat. By this time, he was moaning and groaning loudly and Sarah could tell that he would come very soon and hoped that she would not choke on his ejaculate when he did. After a few more strokes, he came with a sharp, piercing cry and shot hot semen deep into her mouth.

lllll

Immediately after his passion had subsided, Smith rose, straightened his clothes as close as he could to their usual pristine state and left Sarah’s apartment.

“Where are you going?” Sarah asked, but he had already closed the door behind him to either hear or answer her question.

Smith was too preoccupied with the important communication he had just received from one of his copies to reply. Two rebels are on their way to their exits not far from here, he thought as he quickly made his way to his car, and I should be able to intercept them before they can elude me. Since the upgrades failed to stop Mr. Anderson, I will attempt to take one of the rebels over so I can try to kill him in Zion.

Do not engage the rebels, only contain their movements. I will take one of them over myself, he commanded his other selves, for I do not want a copy of a copy to enter the gates of Zion. While I cannot be there in person, I want the next best thing to be on the scene. Me.

lllll

As soon as Smith had left, Sarah went to her telephone and dialled a number. “Can I come over?”

Seraph waited a long time before answering. He had, of course, known very well what had happened between herself and Smith less than fifteen minutes ago and deep-seated jealousy had taken hold of every part of him. Seraph had even thought of permanently washing his hands of Sarah. She has made her bed, he thought, consumed by anger and hurt, now she should lie in it.

“Please, Seraph?” she begged. “Please don’t turn me away, I need you.” Sarah cringed when she realized that she was asking forgiveness from the man she had cruelly and abruptly ordered from her sight less than 48 hours ago. Everything Seraph had said to her that night had come true and she flinched in shame at the painful remembrance. I didn’t even listen to a word he said; all I could think of at the time was how much I had wanted Smith. Sarah did not want to dwell on the fact that she was almost repeating verbatim what Smith had said to her as she hesitated to open the door.

Seraph had been on the verge of refusing, but he heard the sound of her tears and despair underneath her words. Her distress tugged at his heart and he gave her the only answer it was in him to give; it was not the answer she deserved and they both knew it.

Shortly after, he heard her knock and she entered without a word. “Are you alright?” he asked, when the silence between them became too strained and uncomfortable.

“No.” The tears she had been trying to subdue overcame her and Sarah buried her face in her hands and wept. Without a word, Seraph took her in his arms and held her against him.

“It’s all right, Sarah.”

“He used me! He never cared for me or what I wanted; all he wanted to do was to fuck me!”

“I know,” Seraph murmured, his cheek against hers. I know exactly what he did to you tonight, he thought. He knew that I could feel everything you did; he humiliated and used you for his own pleasure—to torment me and to frustrate you. And he succeeded on both counts. I wish I could think of something to say that will make you feel better, but I know the only thing that can help you right now is my silence and support. You do not need to hear me say I told you so, for you know that now. She has seen for herself that Smith is a liar and uses women for his own pleasure; abandoning them as soon as he becomes bored or tired of them.

Sarah clung to him, freely accepting his strength and pardon for her harsh words the night she had first had sex with Smith. “I’m so sorry for everything I said.”

“Shh. It’s OK,” he said softly. “It’s in the past, Sarah. Don’t think about it now.”

“But it’s NOT OK,” she sobbed. “You were right and I was just being stupid as usual.”

“No, you are not stupid; don’t say things like that.”

“I was stupid! I believed his lies!”

Seraph took her face in his hands and made her look at him. “Listen to me, Sarah: it’s over now and it doesn’t matter anymore. Now I want you to promise me that you won’t think about it, all right?”

Sarah nodded. Try to see Seraph as a man and not as your brother, her mother had said and her words echoed in Sarah’s head. Maybe it is time I actually listen to her, she thought. He would never have treated me as Smith just did; Seraph would have ensured my satisfaction before seeking his own, Sarah realized through her tears. He would have been gentle, kind and loving; everything that Smith is not or could ever be. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness or your love, Seraph, but I’m going to ask for both.” She brought her lips to his and kissed him.

For a long moment, their mouths were joined but Seraph did not return the kiss. He doesn’t want to be with me after all, Sarah thought dismally as she pulled away, and I can’t say that I blame him. I’ve been with Smith and that knowledge has turned his mind against us being together.

“I’m sorry Seraph. It’s late and I didn’t mean to bother you. I’ll see myself out,” she said, getting to her feet. What did I expect, she reflected, that he would respond and everything would be hunky-dory between us?

If I let her leave, she probably will never come back, Seraph realized. Is what she wanted from me really so difficult to comprehend? If I let her go now, where will she go? Back to Smith, perhaps, who will undoubtedly take a perverse delight in hurting her some more? I must somehow overcome my pride and do what I have to to keep her with me so that she never returns to Smith under any circumstances. But it is so damn difficult!

“Sarah, wait!” he said. Her hand was on the doorknob and she looked at him over her shoulder. Seraph’s pride would not let him continue. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words would not come. Sarah smiled sadly. “It’s OK Seraph, I understand how you feel and I don’t blame you one bit.”

The soft click of the door opening reverberated through Seraph’s mind. The finality of the sound and what it would mean removed the chains of restraint that had held him mute and still. Before Sarah had time to close the door behind her, Seraph had taken her elbow and gently but firmly guided her back into his apartment.

“Don’t leave Sarah,” he said, taking her hand away from the doorknob and closing the door himself; leaving the two of them in darkness except for the blinking neon signs outside of the windows. He put his arms around her waist and drew her to him. She felt his body tremble when her breasts were pressed against his chest.

“You are so beautiful,” he said, running his hand over the smooth silkiness of her hair. “I’ve always thought of you as something more than a sister. Until now, I’ve ensured that the feelings I had towards you were buried deep inside myself; hidden away so no one, especially not you, would ever know about how I truly felt,. Hidden away, that is, until Smith came along. I guess I should be grateful to him on some level because it was his interest in you that finally made me realize how much I love you.”

“What about Danny?” Sarah asked quietly. ”How did you feel about my relationship with him? We were going to be married, after all.”

“I knew he loved you the way you deserved and I also knew that you were happy with him. That’s what I always wanted for you: to be happy. If he hadn’t died, I would have accepted it and never looked back or had any regrets.”

“But he did die, Seraph. Because of your friends.”

“I know. I should have confided in you earlier about what the Oracle and I were doing, but after you lost your baby, you put this wall up around you and I could not break through it to talk to you. I left you alone, figuring that you would find a way to work through your grief and that you would come back to me eventually. Then Smith came into your life.”

“I was so wrong about him…”

“It’s over Sarah, and I’m glad. Not glad that he hurt you,” Seraph interjected quickly, “but you now see him as he really is: a self-centred, egotistical bastard who thinks of no one but himself.”

Sarah snorted. “You have no idea how right you are. But there is something I have to tell you about Smith—he has been copying himself a lot lately. I mean a lot. I don’t know how many of him there are now, but it’s got to be at least a hundred by now, if not more.”

Seraph was thoughtful. “Do you know why?” he asked, frowning.

“I think so. From what he said to me once, he wants to beat The One so badly he can taste it. Smith saw firsthand how easily Neo beat all three of the upgrades and he got it into his head that the only way he can beat Neo is if he has a large enough army of copies who will fight alongside him so he can accomplish that. Is it important?”

“It could be. But not now. Right now, you and I should concentrate on just that: you and I. Leave Smith at the door, he’s not welcome here.”

“Never again,” Sarah murmured, tilting her head up to receive Seraph’s kiss. “Brother and sister no longer,” she said softly as their lips met.