Never Spoken

AN: Right. I know it has been a long time. Some things have happened since that last time we have spoken. I am Engaged! Yay me! And we are also expecting a baby.
So Matt and I went to the doctor on Tuesday. Talk about stress in a bottle.

For those of you who don't know what a Quad Test is, it is a test that looks for Downes Syndrome and other complications like high AFP Levels.

Well, we get to the doctors and high AFP is what I have, way high.

So I ask what that means.

The doctor sighs and says it could mean nothing, but, if it is serious, which your levels are REALLY high, the baby may be in trouble. Such as:

Open Head: Which means that the baby's brain didn't develop because of a hole in his head and it will die as soon as it is born.

Open Spine: Also known as Spina Bifida. This mean the spine is open when it is born and at BEST it will be paralyzed from the waist down and at worst die.

Open Stomach: The baby's stomach isn't fully developed. This one however they can fix. Surgery one or two days after the baby is born. Two weeks and the baby should be fine.

So, Matt is basically in tears, and I am trying not to cry. He then proceeds to tell me that the Gynecologist says that my pap looks really serious and that Cancer in my cervix might be developing. Which means that if it is as serious as it could be, this may be my last kid, ever.

He then reminds us that we shouldn't worry.

We get done with the appointment and we wait for them to call the specialist. No answer. I call today, and they inform me that the earliest I will get in is almost 2 weeks from now.

2 weeks.

We can't cry anymore. Either of us. Even though there is an AWESOME chance that this test positive is a false positive, the thought that the doctor is worried enough to say something is bad.

But other than that, everything is peachy.

Enjoy.

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Chapter 7

Jareth’s words left his lips and the words rebounded off the walls and into Sarah’s ears, trailed down into her chest, sank into her heart, and finally rested in her soul.

“What did you just say to me?”
“I believe it was something along the lines of ‘I think I love you.’”

Sarah gasped and sobbed a little. She shook her head, not entirely believing that the words she was always longing to hear from the broken looking king in front of her were actually escaping from his lips.

“Jareth that is not funny.”

“And I am not laughing.” Jareth said as he moved closer to the bed.

Sarah looked almost lost. Not the reaction Jareth was hoping for really, but a reaction non the less. She looked like she was drowning in an emotion she never really had experienced.

*She hasn’t experienced it. You stole those years away from her. She was 15. ONLY 15 and you ripped the innocense away from her. Now look at her. You expect her to believe you after what you did?*

Sarah looked up at Jareth and suddenly she felt like she was going to pass out.

“Jareth, I don’t even know what to say...”

Jareth sat on the bed next to the angel he had put through hell. He reached for her and was stung a bit when she pulled away from his touch. His gloved hands were shaking. He thought back to the night he stole her very life away. Those gloves were still on his hands. He had never even given her the decency of a real touch.

“Tell me that you love me.” Jareth said as he watched her eyes focus on nothing at all.

Sarah shook her head. Her hair fell around her shoulders as she began to cry even more. Sobs racked her body and she could do nothing but let the tears fall. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. She wanted to tell him that she wanted nothing more than to be his.

*What are you talking about? He steals your baby brother, traps you in his castle, ages you so he can rape you, throws you around like a rag doll and you want to tell him that you love him?*

Sarah laughed at the thought. Tears staining the pillow that was being cradled underneath her chin.

“Jareth, I really want to tell you.”
Jareth’s breath caught in his throat.

“But?” he asked.

Sarah looked up into his eyes, her eyes red and her face blotchy. She stood up, pulling he dress back to cover herself. She started to chew on her fingers, the words she was longing to say not wanting to come out for some reason. Something was stopping her from telling him.

*Tell him what you really think. Tell him why you can’t love him. Tell him you hate him for what he has made you, what he has put you through.*

Sarah looked like a lost little kid. She was staring at nothing at all, looking like she just saw death creep across the floor. She was trapped like a deer in headlights and didn’t know which way to go. Part of her wanted to tell him she loved him, that she longed to be with him and she had from the moment he stole her breath in Toby’s bedroom. The smaller part in her wanted to tear him down and tell him that she indeed loathed him. She wanted nothing to do with him. She wanted to lie to his face. Make him believe that she wanted nothing more than to be through with him. She just wanted this moment to be over. She just wanted to be somewhere she could think clearly.

“Sarah, answer me.” Jareth said beginning to almost become annoyed.

Sarah again shook her head, made a squeaking noise, and circled herself lost in though.

Jareth stood from the bed and started walking towards her. Something was not going the way it should. This was not the way he had hoped this situation would arise and fall. She seemed to battling something that he did not count on, her will. She was not willing to let herself go that easy, which he should have seen.

*You brought this on yourself. You broke her so soon, too early, took away her sense of innocense and now she is starting to see that what you did was wrong. Her flight or flight syndrome is kicking in and her flight side is winning. Look at her. She looks lost, caught in a distant land that she won’t be able to break out of because of what you did.*

“Sarah please,” Jareth called to her, but she didn’t hear him.

She backed away, panicking, hyperventilating, not sure where she was going, but she did not want to be here. She hit the door, and frantically felt for the knob.

“Sarah, what are you doing?”

Sarah looked back at Jareth, but didn’t even see him. Her senses were over worked, she was exhausted from trying to make him jealous, and when he finally said the words she wanted to hear, she wasn’t stable enough even answer him back. She was acting like she didn’t want what he was giving her, but she did with every fiber of her being.

Jareth watched in fascination and almost horror as she breathed ‘I’m sorry’ and ran from the room. Too stunned to really react, he walked out of the room and watched the only woman he ever loved, run out of the ballroom and into the gardens. Soon, she wasn’t in his sight anymore and all he could do was stand there with his mouth agape.

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Sarah didn’t know what she was doing, and she definitely had no idea where the hell she was going. All she knew was that this feeling inside was not what she wanted, nor liked feeling and the only thing she knew to do was run. She ran faster and longer than she had ever ran. Dodging in and out of hedges, not even stopping to view the enchanting gardens she once longed to visit. In the middle of the gardens she didn’t even notice the fountain that held the figures of what looked remarkably like Jareth and herself. She tripped on the uneven stone where the weeds had grown through and the ripping of her dress didn’t even register. Blood poured from her knees, but she got back up and kept on running.

Soon, the gardens were far behind and so was the castle. After climbing the walls of the castle that were over grown with vines, the dress was shredded enough to become a hassle. In the heat of the moment, she ripped the rest of the long train off, the long regal dress now a short and almost raunchy piece of material. Goblins watched as the maiden ran her way out of the city and into the forest that lay to the north. She didn’t even know she was going north, she really didn’t care where she was going. She wanted to be gone, out of the situation that was making her feel this way.

After running for what only seemed like ten minuets, she came to a stream. Her chest burned so bad that she crashed into the freezing cold water. Drinking like a dog, she gulped down the refreshing liquid. Her cheat heaving for air, but her thirst not letting go. She finally stop drinking, breathing heavy and uneven. Climbing back out to the land surrounding the stream, she found a tree and began to cry more. Curling her knees up to her chest, she cried more. She didn’t understand how it was possible, but she cried more.

Soon, she began to notice that she really had no idea where she was. She soon began to look around at her surroundings and she really started to get worried. There was no path where she was. There were no friends here, no false alarms. There weren’t even any sounds in this forest.

“What kind of forest doesn’t have sounds?” She laughed a little out loud and jumped as it echoed in stone cold forest.

She turned in circles, trying to see where she was, where she had gone. What had she done? Her mind was racing with a thousand things and not one of them was giving way to another. She couldn’t think clearly and she was starting to see little dots. Worry began to mix with her fear. And soon the fear grew to an enormous proportion.

And fear dragged her down. She hit the ground, her lungs not seeming to get the air they needed. She was so stupid.

*You ran from warmth, care and love for this? What were you thinking?*

She sobbed again and with one final breath, collapsed passed out on the ground.

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AN: I know it is short. And you can kill me all you want. I will try to write more.