My Two Jedi

Part VII

And it was done. The Alton gestured to Lorleem, who hurried to hand
over my papers to Obi-Wan. Then two palace guards escorted us to my
rooms, where I left the hood – it is state property, and why would I
want it anyway? – and packed only what I considered my own, person ite items. I left most of the clothes, the jewelry and other gifts from
the Alton. The task was accomplished so quickly that I found myself on
board a transport and heading for space before I really got a chance to
come to grips with my new situation. No sooner had we entered our
cabin on the transport then Obi-Wan turned to me and handed me my own
papers.

“You’ll probably want to burn those, or tear them into tiny pieces,” he
suggested.

I looked down at them incredulously. “But, I can’t destroy these. I
must have papers. The Committee…”

“To the Dark Side with the Committee,” Obi-Wan replied with more anger
in his voice than I would have thought possible. “They shall be dealt
with, along with the Alton, as soon as we reach Coruscant. Slavery is
illegal in the Republic. You are a citizen of the Republic.
Therefore, you are not a slave, and need no papers.”

I was still incredulous. The idea of not having papers… I just wasn’t
ready for that yet. Freedom seems a simple concept, and yet it can be
terrifying. I chose to think about it later, and tucked pap papers
among my few other things. Then I turned back to Obi-Wan.

“I don’t think I’ve yet said ‘thank you’ for taking me away
from…there,” I said, moving to sit beside him on the narrow cot that
was the room’s only furniture. “Thank you.”

“I would much rather you showed me,” he replied.

I looked shocked for a moment. Surely he was as satiated, and
exhausted, as I. Although, if he wished it, I could…

But his expression was too serious for such suggestive implications.
And I finally realized what he meant. He wanted me to drop my blocks,
which I was still holding in place since our separation this morning,
to show that I trusted him. I had maintained them subconsciously, but
now, no sooner did I realize this, but I dropped them completely, and
we were once more open to each other, and I was falling into his arms.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” But the words were not necessary, so I
abandoned the attempt to explain. He understood. Understood my fears
and my dreams, the dark and the light of me, and still I felt his
acceptance. Truly I was the luckiest woman alive.

We sat for a while simply enjoying each other’s presence, reveling in a
spiritual intimacy that was fast becoming addictive. I found my
anxieties calmed by his serenity, which soon led to drowsiness, given
how little sleep I had had. I let him lower me to the mattress and
cover me with a blanket, feeling totally safe.

I woke up alone.

There was no one in my bed, or in my head. Despite the fact that such
a state had been a normal way of life for me for eighteen years, this
time it felt wrong. I felt empty, bereft. I threw myself out of the
cot, at the same time casting widely with my mind for any sign of my
Jedi.

I saw him and felt him at the same time. He was sitting on the floor,
in a corner, sitting so perfectly still that, in the wan illumination
of the dimmed-for-sleep room lights, he was almost invisible. His mind
presence was equally still, quiet, the equivalent of the faintest,
distant whisper. But it was there, and I put a hand to my chest and
sank back on the cot with relief, feeling stupid yet again for
overreacting so.

So this was what it felt to need someone. Even, dare I think it, to
love someone. Certainly it was the strongest emotion I had ever felt.
Almost it seemed as though I had never felt anything before, had been
dead but was now gloriously alive. It was as terrifying as it was
exhilarating. Like freedom, a double edged sword.

As I was sinking to the cot, Obi-Wan was rising from his corner. The
concern on his face fadedhe rhe read me like a book, changing to a
knowing smile as he came to sit beside me. He said nothing, but simply
took my hand and gazed into my eyes.

I cleared my throat nervously and grasped at any topic I could find,
trying to keep my mind blank. “What was that you were doing? I could
barely feel you.” I gestured to the corner where he had been sitting,
though it was really just an excuse to pull my hand away from his.

“Meditating,” he replied, gently retaking my hand. “It clears the
mind, allows one to focus. I could teach you how to do it.”

“If you are going to teach me something, teach me to put words in
others’ mouths, as you did to Lorleem and the Alton.” Now that was a
useful trick.

Obi-Wan smiled. “The Jedi mind trick. I’m afraid that would take
years of training. In fact, I have only recently mastered it. This
morning was the first occasion I had to perform it.” As he said thissomesomething furtive flickered across his mind.

“You will be punished for this?” I guessed.

“Possibly. That is up to the Council. But I cannot regret my
actions.” He looked down at our hands, and then back up, and there was
guilt in his eyes. “I must apologize to you, Meera. I knew your
situation was…bad, but still I almost left you there, almost convinced
myself that interfering was beyond my scope. Can you forgive me?”

It was too painful, watching him relive his moments of doubt, seeing
myself down that long hallway in the Alton’s palace. “There is nothing
to forgive,” I responded forcefully. “You didn’t leave me, you did
save me. When you saw the opening you needed, you took it without
hesitation.” To back up my argument, I let him see himself through my
eyes, as he entered the Alton’s office, my knight in shining armor.

He smiled shyly at this image of himself, somewhat embarrassed. But
then the smile fell away as I asked “How did you know how to scare the
Alton, anyway? About the Committee?”

“I’m sorry, I-” And I saw us, spooning on his bed in the palace. I
was asleep – but he wasn’t. “I sensed the suffering deep within you,
and I just wanted to know, to help…”

“The two-edged sword,” I whispered, mostly to myself. With an arched
eyebrow, Obi-Wan encouraged me to explain why I was thinking of such a
weapon. “This link we share, I would not sever for all the galaxy,
but, yet, it does have the potential for some…embarrassment.”

“Hmmm. Yes,” Obi-Wan replied, illustratively looking a bit
embarrassed. “Perhaps I should show you how to selectively block off
parts of your mind, so that the other Jedi at the Temple don’t
accidentally cause you…embarrassment.”

“Other Jedi? Where are we going, exactly?”

“To the Jedi Temple, on Coruscant.” A picture of a world riddled by
streaks of light – a giant city, building after building reaching for
the sky, and a circle of five spires towering above the rest. “It is
the main training ground for all Jedi, and our home between missions.
There are at least several hundred of us there at any given time.”

As I absorbed his memories of huge training rooms filled with dozens of
Jedi of various ages and races, a shiver ran down my spine. “Yes, I
think some selective shielding would be a good idea.”

And so he taught me, my glee over how much the Committee would not want
me to know how to do it only increasing my determination. So by
ti
time we arrived on Coruscant I was tolerably good at it, enough to keep
my fear from showing as I stepped off the transport and caught my first
glimpse of my new home.