Never Wanted This

Hi again! Well my chapters are short, but I try to make up for it by posting at least somewhat frequently, as life allows.

Yes, poor Will, healing may be one of the hardest things yet... but of course he will eventually. =D He has good friends to help him.
~~EmmaElf


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CHAPTER EIGHT:
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The people touch his hair and pinch his cheek; he can't even feel it
There it goes again, he's listening to someone
He hears the bitter laughter
And all he wants to know is...

Why...
does any of it matter?
I can't take it anymore...
--Stone Sour


Once aboard the Black Pearl and feeling safe for the first time in months, Will fell into a deep, exhausted sleep in Jack’s cabin. Before he drifted off it crossed his mind how ironic it was that here, aboard a pirate ship was the place he suddenly felt the safest. He smiled slightly at the irony of it.

Jack had gone back to his crew and the battle taking place in Port Royal once he knew that Will was all right, but although the Spanish put up a fierce resistance, in the end they had no chance. Jack’s men kept them busy until Norington’s forces disabled the harbor barricade and sailed in to join the fray. After that the port was effetely won back in a matter of hours, although of course it would take time to totally clear the island of all pockets of hidden resistance. The pirate’s job however, was done.

Jack returned as the sun was just beginning to rise, to find Will still sleeping in his bed. The lad must have been tired to sleep through all that. Now however, Will’s sleep seemed restless and the boy tossed as if caught in a dream.

The pirate let his fingers drift lightly across Will’s tangled, sweat-soaked curls. He was sure that his young friend had been through quite enough during his captivity to Varga to be giving him nightmares for years.

Will moaned softly in his sleep, his face pinching in pain as he quietly begged his nightmare tormenter to stop, tossing his head feverishly.

“Will,” Jack bent over and shook the younger man’s shoulders softly. “Wake up lad! Will...”

Will sprung awake with a start and jerked away from Jack’s hands on his shoulders. He scrambled desperately backward until he hit the headboard behind him, cloudy terror in his unfocused brown eyes as he looked up at the man bending over him.

“Whoa, whoa, easy mate, do I really look that bad in the morning?” Jack pondered somewhat whimsically, touching his face and glancing towards the glass on the wall.

Will’s rapid breathing slowed as he came fully awake and realized where he was and who was with him. “Jack...” he breathed softly in relief.

“In the flesh,” Jack tipped his hat. “You missed out on quite a battle last night, but it’s all over now. The Commodore has his precious city back and looks fit to sing...” Jack paused, making a face. “Gad, now there’s an awful thought.”

Will chuckled slightly, wincing as he sat upright and swung his legs off the side of the bed. His whole body hurt. This was it then, it was finally over. He ought to be ecstatic he supposed, and he was... but the hurt in his heart did not go away. Because now that it was all over and he was finally safe, he began to realize that he could not simply go back to his life the way it was... too much had changed... he had changed. He truly felt that he had somehow lost his soul to Varga and the empty ache of that loss was made all the more painful to deal with now faced with the prospect of trying to return to normal life.

“You’ll want to be getting yourself a bit cleaned up and refreshed mate,” Jack turned to smile at Will. “Seems Norington had a stowaway on one of his ships...” The smile widened in amusement. “Looked fit to pop a blood vessel when he found out, you should have seen him Will! I told ‘im there was no stopping your bonnie lass if she was determined to come...”

“Elizabeth?” Will froze, sudden horror sweeping through his being. “Elizabeth is here?”

“Aye,” Jack nodded, a little puzzled at the young man’s reaction. “And dying to see ye. I could barely keep her from bargin’ in here to wake you up herself. But I thought ye might need a little time to-”

“Jack, I can’t see her!” Will had risen to his feet and was pacing now, obviously agitated and distressed. “I can’t!”

“Slow up there,” Jack held his h up up to calm the other man. “’course ye can...”

“NO!” Will snapped almost fiercely, rounding on the pirate. “You don’t understand! I-I’m not ready... I can’t see her... she can’t see me like... like this. I... oh God,” he buried his face in his hands. “I can’t ever face her again.”

“Will?” a soft, anxious knocking on the cabin door made Will lop anp and pale. It was Elizabeth’s voice. “Will? Are you in there? Jack open the door...” her voice was irritated but light and eager. Jack had told her that Will was alive and she wanted to see him, she didn’t care if he wasn’t cleaned up properly. She needed to see him, to hold him again.

There was real fear in Will’s eyes. “Please Jack...” he backed away from the door. “Please... I can’t...”

Compassion and sorrow glittered momentarily in the pirate’s eyes. Then he turned away and went to the door. Unlocking it and poking his head out he was met with Elizabeth’s un-amused face.

“Jack I want to see him.”

“Of course luv, but he’s ah... dressing at the moment... give us a minute, eh?” Jack smiled ingratiatingly.

“I don’t care if he’s completely naked, you are not keeping me out of this room,” Elizabeth said decidedly. “Now let me in at once.”

“Sorry, Will, she makes a good case,” Jack smiled as he let Elizabeth in and glanced back over his shoulder, looking for Will. But Will was nowhere to be seen.

The cabin window was open and Will was gone. Jack and Elizabeth hurried over and looked out but Will had disappeared quite quickly, leaving only a choppy wake of disturbed water behind him.

“That boy...” Jack shook his head. “Musta slid into the water and swum away.”

“Why?” Elizabeth’s voice was small and hurt. Will didn’t *want* to see her? “Why doesn’t he want to see me Jack? What have I done...?”

“’tisn’t you luv,” Jack shook his head with a sigh. “Listen to me now, Will’s been hurt. Badly hurt and he’s not sure he can be the man for you that he was I’m thinkin’.”ElizElizabeth shook her head, her heart aching for her husband. “If he thinks I wouldn’t love him because of some kind of scars...”

“Aye, scars it is,” Jack nodded. “But not on the outside kind. It’s the inside kind that hurt him. Elizabeth... he was forced to do things a body shouldn’t be forced to do if you take my meaning, and I think he considers it betrayin’ you. So if you can be so kind, just give me a little time with him alone,” he winked at her. “I’ll talk sense into him, you’ll see.”

Elizabeth nodded. “But how will you find him?”

“We pirates have our ways,” Jack smiled but his eyes were distant. “He won’t have got far.”


TBC…