Clutching My Cure

Chapter Eight

Obi-Wan stood on the balcony, hands bearing the brunt of his weight as he rested against the railing. He stared unseeingly at the wide stretch of ocean, oblivious to the roiling waves or the wildlife that played freely as dusk approached. He was far too consumed pondering Xanatos’ parting words. They had avoided one another since that moment, the fallen Jedi retreating to his office for the remainder of the day, even taking his supper meal behind closed doors.

Obi-Wan shifted, the silk sleep pants he wore only aggravating his body’s cry for some form of release. He’d been over sensitized for days now, craving any touch of Xanatos’ hands or lips. Unused to being so obsessed with sex, he was unprepared for the feelings and emotions that inundated him. He felt as if he wanted to wiggle out of his skin, hunger gnawing deep in his belly, keeping him awake at night. When he did manage to drift off, even his dreams were filled with torturous replays of their encounters. He awoke every morning, aroused, aching and wanting, forced to relieve himself on;y to feel oddly unsatisfied afterwards.

A deep mournful sigh was captured by the wind and sent drifting off across the water. Obi-Wan knew he needed to have a clear head when the time came to face Qui-Gon Jinn once again. Being distracted while dealing one-on-one with a Jedi Master would get him killed. He needed to do something in order to settle things with Xanatos. The trouble was finding a solution that wouldn’t require him to relinquish his freedom or sense of self-worth. A solution that would allow him to keep his emotions, his heart, unscathed and safe. He couldn’t bear another rejection.

"You aren’t contemplating jumping, are you?"

The deep smooth voice sent a shiver up his spine that had nothing to do with the weather. Hands clenching the railing, Obi-Wan closed his eyes, tilting his head back in order to let the breeze cool his heated face.

"And make things easy on you?"

He could feel the sapphire gaze burning into him, waves of anger generated by his flippant remark. The knowledge brought the hint of a smile to his lips. It was only fair that deCrion burn as much as he did.

"It seems that the Force does indeed love you, brat."

Obi-Wan refused to reveal his interest in Xanatos words, his back remaining turned. Only he needed to know that he was afraid. Afraid that if he did turn around and face the fallen Jedi, his resolve would come crashing down around his bare feet. He wasn’t certain that he could gaze upon the decadence that was Xanatos deCrion and not throw his principles over the balcony railing, begging to be taken, used, loved.

"How so?" He winced at the hoarse sound of his own voice.

Obi-Wan tensed as he felt, rather than heard, Xanatos approach. He could feel the immense heat of the taller man’s muscular body, smell the enticing aroma of some obscenely expensive cologne mixed with deCrion’s own natural musk. He could recall with vivid detail the taste of this man on his tongue, the memory causing Obi-Wan to break out in a sweat.

"Jinn and his apprentice are close. Closer than you and I could ever have hoped for."

Obi-Wan couldn’t ignore that announcement. He shifted to stare up at the taller man’s profile, ignoring the immediate rush of desire just viewing the perfect features brought with it.

"What do you mean? Close how?"

"As in on a mission to Telos neighboring planet. I’ve already sent some of my best men to start surveillance on the place they’re being housed in during their stay."

Xanatos was mildly surprised when his good news was met with silence. He’d expected Obi-Wan to be overcome with excitement at the prospect of soon having Jinn under their thumb. Luminous eyes stared up at him with a slightly baffled glaze to them, pink lips slightly parted. The sight had the fallen Jedi shoring up the shielding he now kept around his thoughts.

"You don’t seem happy," he mused with a frown. "Don’t tell me you’re suddenly having a change of heart about our old master?"

"I don’t give a fuck about, Jinn." The curse sounded oddly sacrileges spoken in Obi-Wan’s Deep Core refined tones.

"Then why the less than enthusiastic reaction?"

Obi-Wan slowly began to advance on Xanatos, the older man pulling away as he tried to decipher the almost feral expression on the young man’s face. In a matter of steps, Obi-Wan had him pinned in a corner of the balcony, standing as close as possible.

"Right now I can’t think about anything but you. About how you taste, smell, feel. I burn for you." Obi-Wan slowly lifted a hand, both of them watching as it cautiously neared the fly of Xanatos’ leather pants. "But you already know that don’t you, Xan? This is what you want isn’t it?"

Xanatos was unable to reply, breath lodged in his throat as nimble fingers pulled the zipper down before slipping inside. His aching member was caught in a warm grasp, a calloused palm sending almost painful sensations throughout his body.

"You want me hungry for you, aching for your touch," Obi-Wan breathed as he worked Xanatos into a panting frenzy.

The instant the fallen Jedi’s hips began to thrust back, he abruptly ceased his ministrations and stepped back. "Now you’ll know how I’ve felt the last several days."

Xanatos watched in shocked disbelief as Obi-Wan turned and began to swagger inside.

"Goodnight, Xan. Sweet dreams."

Aroused and angry, the fallen Jedi’s vision was suddenly clouded with a red haze. He wasn’t even aware of moving, but he was through the door and upon the smaller man in a matter of seconds. Darkside currents sparked as he grabbed Obi-Wan by the arms and slammed him face down onto the side of the bed. He wasn’t even conscious of Obi-Wan’s struggles as he used the Force to pin his young lover down, his hands roughly divesting Obi-Wan of his sleep pants.

Xanatos glared down at the naked man as he methodically stripped himself, hoarse curses falling on deaf ears. Nude, he used his own legs to jerk Obi-Wan’s apart, before stepping in between them. Grasping his rampant and engorged shaft, he bent over the young man’s body, using his thumbs to guide himself to the puckered entrance he craved. Only seconds from plunging himself to the hilt, Xanatos became aware of his partner’s reactions.

Obi-Wan wasn’t struggling to get away, nor was he cursing Xanatos to get off him. Instead the younger man was urging him on, begging to be taken. Hands grasping the sheet beneath him, Obi-Wan was pushing back in an attempt to impale himself, his passion laden voice filled with anticipation and excitement. Disgusted both with himself and his partner, Xanatos stepped back with a curse.

"Get up." When his snapped order was met with stunned silence, he reached down and grasped Obi-Wan by the arms, throwing him onto the floor. "I said get up! Get up and get the hell out of my room!"

Dazed by the ferocity of Xanatos’ tone and expression, Obi-Wan called his discarded sleep pants to him, shooting the glowering man confused looks as he pulled them on. This isn’t what he’d wanted. His heart was racing in fear at the thought that he’d just ruined everything between them with his game. It was the only way he could think of to encourage Xanatos back into a physical relationship without the entire mess of feelings and emotions getting into the mix.

Getting to his feet, he met the enraged sapphire gaze head on. "I’m sorry. That was a horrible thing for me to do and I promise to never try it again."

Tense silence greeted his apology, the anger frighteningly slow to drain away from the fallen Jedi. Waiting until he noticed the subtle slumping of broad shoulders and the unclenching of large hands that could most likely snap him in two, Obi-Wan reached up and gently fingered the golden torque that adorned his neck. Blue eyes followed the movement, a barely notable softening of pale features giving him hope that not all was lost.

Moving forward, he stood mere inches from Xanatos, searching the older man’s gaze for some sign that he was forgiven.

"Hold me?" In order to combat the suspicion his request garnered, he wrapped his arms around Xanatos’ trim hips, his cheek resting against the naked chest. "That’s all. Just hold me tonight while we sleep. I've missed waking up in your arms."

He hadn’t even realized that he’d been holding his breath as he awaited a response until Xanatos’s arms encircled him. His eyes slid shut in relief when he felt his lover press a soft kiss on the top of his head, the arms tightening around him.

"What am I going to do with you, brat?"

The words *love me* hovered on the tip of Obi-Wan’s tongue, but he bit them back.