I Remember Padme

Guess what? I’m back! I put this off for a while because I felt that with my train of thought that its not becoming less of an Obidala fic and more of just a fic focusing on Obi-Wan. In the end, I just decided to go with my gut instinct.

Chapter 8- Anakin

The months passed and the months turned into years. The first few months were a changing experience for me. I was finally coming to terms with having lost love twice in my life and I began to become familiar with the hole in my heart and soul. I grew to respect the Code more, especially on the subject of love and emotional attachment. It took a long time but eventually my pain, grief and guilt turned from a feeling that was like a knife in the heart to a dull feeling. Eventually, the dull pain turned to nothing and I could now be on my own without letting the memories consume me.

Missions came and went, and with the Clone Wars having started, there were a lot of missions. At first it hurt when I heard that Padme could be nearby Anakin and I but like I said, soon enough I was able to see her simply as an ally and not as a love interest.

When I was not training Anakin or on a mission with him, I would spend my time in complete solitude. It was somewhat of a comfort. I would spend most of the time meditating, focusing myself on whatever might lie ahead. That’s how I was able to come to terms with Padme and Qui-Gon.

Two years after Anakin and Padme were married, there came the day which would fill every Jedi’s Master’s heart with joy: the day Anakin was knighted as a Jedi. I should have been overjoyed but I wasn’t. I was cautious. For one thing, he never went through the traditional final trials that are needed before one can be knighted. Maybe this sounds as hypocritical for I did not go through the traditional trials. However, I was told that my duel with Darth Maul could be constituted as my trials, which I passed.

I was also weary on how Anakin was changing. He was proving to be a hero of the Clone Wars and an excellent pilot and Jedi. However, it was his unorthodox methods that were troubling and he was finding it difficult to follow the Jedi Code. He was being reckless with his powers and was only winning his battles by giving into his dark urges.

The boy also had a lot of fear in him. He always had ever since he had left his mother behind all those years ago but since his mother’s death, he was getting worse. A lot worse. He had fear over everyone around him, even R2D2. He was finding it hard to control and I think that had something to do with his downfall.

So, no I wasn’t overjoyed over Anakin’s Knighthood. I did smile though and pretended to be overjoyed but that was only because I had been promoted to Jedi Master that same year and was put on the Jedi Council. I felt I had achieved something Qui-Gon didn’t.

I had a feeling that things were going to get worse though. A lot worse. But yet I still stayed with him.

Years ago, I decided that once Anakin was Knighted, I would leave him be. I am going to be honest now. In the beginning, I didn’t like him very much. I felt that Qui-Gon was too reckless in wanting him to be trained bit when he died, he made me promise to train him and so I did. I did it just for Qui-Gon. But with Anakin no longer a padawan, I felt I had fulfilled my promise and could move on. He reminded me too much of Padme.

But, things had changed. I felt that in some strange ways, I had grown to like him. Maybe even love him as a brother. And maybe he felt the same way. We had become allies. And with this changing mood I could sense in him, I feel that he needed all the allies he could get to stop him from turning to the dark. In some strange way, he needed me. I was finally beginning to understand what Padme meant by when he said that he needed her. He needed her to love and she thought that her love for him could keep him from the Dark Side. I think, within time, she needed him too. I believe she did fall in love with him. I don’t want to know whether she loved him more than me, I just don’t. All I know is she loved him and I did begin to accept that.

So I kept by his side. We went on missions together as equals and we both were earning the respect of Heroes of the Clone Wars. He was far more adored by me but I didn’t care. He had a much bigger ego than me so he needed it more.

Then everything changed. There came a time when I couldn’t save him. Not even Padme’s love could save him and I knew then he could never come back from his darkness.

And it all started when the Chancellor was kidnapped………


To be continued……….