The Inner Beast

Cloella woke in her bed for the first time since the Hessian had departed. She wasn’t able to find comfort between the sheets without his strong body pressed to hers, his big arm draped over her hip, and the feeling of his broad chest rising and falling against her back as he breathed lulling her to sleep. She would have slept sitting in the Wing Back chair again last night if it were not her last night alone.

She leaped from her bed, smiling and heart racing, running to the old trunk of her clothes immediately searching out one of her best dresses. She had much to do today, sweep the floors, beat the carpets, dress her hair with her mother’s pearl picks, bake brown bread, go into the root cellar for potatoes, turnips, carrots, onions, parsnips, celery. She wished she had a cut of meat, but a hearty vegetable stew would be the best she could muster, despite the special occasion she celebrated. It didn’t really dampen her spirits any; nothing could, for the Hessian would return today!

She stood with rug beater in hand and the dining room carpet over a line she’d tied between two large trees, humming as she swatted the big rug, so happy that she hardly noticed the chill in the air, or the hoof beats that came towards her. The rug blocked her view of the visitor, but whom else would it be riding towards her? She jumped out from behind the carpet, beaming, ready to run towards the horse and rider, but then stopping dead in her tracks. The horse was average, bay, and the rider a bit portly and only about thirty-five years in age. This was not the Hessian!

“Ms. Van Kelland,” the voice was friendly, but a bit confused by the way she’d come leaping out from behind a carpet, and then stood so suddenly still. The rider halted his horse and dismounted. “Are you quite well? You look as if I’ve startled you.”
“Mr. Van Tassel,” Cloella sighed, sure there was no blood left in her face, but politely bowed her head to her visitor. Baltus Van Tassel had been her only visitor in the last year, stopping by about every 3 months just to be neighborly and make sure she was surviving. While she had usually welcomed his company, as it was the only she ever had, and he had chosen to disregard the notion that she was a witch, she wished he would soon leave. He was not whom she had hoped to see, and he could not see the Hessian! What if the Hessian were riding to her now? What then? Baltus was a kind man, perhaps not the brightest of men, but still not someone who deserved to have his head chopped off because his good heart put him in the wrong place at the wrong time; but then, she could not trust that he would keep her secret, should he learn it. She felt dizzy as all these frantic thoughts swirled in her head, but Baltus was waiting. “I suppose you did startle me, I am so sorry.”

“No my dear child, it is I who am sorry.” He walked to the roll of white cloth that was tied at the back of his saddle and began to undo it. “There is news that a merciless butcher has disappeared into the Western Woods; the Hessian Horseman, the black devil himself! I thought I would come to make sure you were safe.”

Cloella was glad that Baltus’s back was to her, for she wavered on her feet. “Black devil?” she squeaked without meaning to say the words out loud, but as soon as she did, all of the footprints she’d been faithfully following for days seemed to glow red with the sudden panic they brought. The Hessian’s foot was easily twice the size of that of an average man’s, how would she explain the tracks? Had Baltus even noticed them? She wanted to scream.

“Oh yes, he is a black devil! They say that his black steed snorts fire, and that in the darkness the Hessian’s eyes glow eerily green and that he can shift his shape into that of a ravenous wolf that will rip a man’s throat out and then carry off the severed head.” He took the roll of white cloth under his arm, and now reached into a saddlebag.
There were so many footprints around them; Cloella felt faint, but also a bit irritated by Baltus’s description. “Have they seen him do this?” The nervousness she felt hid any disdain that would have otherwise ruled her tone of voice, for she was nervous…there were so very many footprints!

“Oh! My dear, I am so sorry to have startled you a second time! Where is my head? I beg your forgiveness.” He was facing her now, holding a bundle of items in his arms.

Oh, do not look down, Cloella thought, but at least he read her nervousness to be fear caused by the ridiculous story he’d told her. Nevertheless, she must have an excuse ready for the huge tracks in the snow. “No, Mr. Van Tassel, I must beg your forgiveness. I am afraid I have grown so unaccustomed to receiving visitors, that having two such unexpected pleasures in only a few days has overflowed my good sense.” She smiled, forced herself not to quiver, she would talk her way through this predicament. This was, after all, only Baltus Van Tassel, a kindly gentleman, come to see her well, not come to hunt down the “Black Devil”.

“Two visitors, you say, my dear?” Baltus raised his graying eyebrows. “Do not tell me that you have seen—“

“Of course not!” The words flew from her lips, a bit quicker and sharper than she would have liked, but she soon smoothed any ripples her tone may have raised. “I would have run off if I had seen such a…creature! My other visitor was only a beggar, a deserter from the army I suspect, but I have nothing to offer to anyone.” She paused, took a breath, looked down at the huge footprints, then glanced up at Baltus; was he believing her? “He was here about ten, or was it eleven days ago? Oh no, it must have been at least twelve, for look at how that warm night we had almost two weeks ago has melted his tracks so long and so deep in the snow.”

“Deserters!” Baltus moaned in disgust. He had believed her; he hadn’t even paid much attention to the tracks in the snow, even after she’d pointed them out to him. “Men of weak livers! I ask you, what could cause a man to relinquish his duty?”

Cloella wanted to smile, but she didn’t dare. “Perhaps a black devil, with glowing eyes, who can become a wolf.” She forced herself to shiver with faux fear.

“Oh my dear young girl, I have frightened you awfully, haven’t I?” Baltus looked down in shame, shaking his head. “Please, I beg you, come be a guest at my estate until news of this wretched fiend’s death or capture reaches us all! An offer of shelter and protection is the very least I can do!”

“No!” The alarm in her voice was due to the thought of her Hessian being killed or captured, and she scolded herself for letting her emotions gain control. There was too much at stake, she could not do or say anything that would make Baltus suspicious. How was she to fix her outburst? Ah, Lady Van Tassel, she thought with a smile. “You know I could not take up even a temporary residence in your house, Mr. Van Tassel. Think of what the town will due to you and Lady Van Tassel for associating with me. I could never put such a gentle man as yourself or as sweet and caring a lady as your good wife to such a risk of danger, social or otherwise.” She’d breathed another sigh of relief as Baltus slowly and sadly shook his head.

“Ms. Van Kelland, I wish it was not so that there were such risks, for Lady Van Tassel and myself do not hold such and evil opinion of you, our families have been friends for too long. Yes, the risks to my wife and I would be great, but my offer still stands. You are so very young to be so very alone in these Western Woods.”

Cloella smiled, that Baltus and his wife had always cared so much about her welfare had earned them a special place in her heart. “I thank you, then, but I must also decline again. With Lady Van Tassel being so chronically ill…well, I would hate to think that I am a jinx, if not a witch.”

“Nonsense!” Answered Baltus. “But I understand. For if Lady Van Tassel should become ill once more while you were in my house, there is no telling what that might insight the towns people and magistrates to do, and that is something I cannot have.”
Part of her actually wished she could have accepted the offer Baltus had made her, for he’d put his own life on the line just by making these secret sojourns out to see her every few months. He was a good person. “I am glad we understand each other. And, how is Lady Van Tassel? I had heard she was expecting?”

Baltus’s face grew grim. “Was expecting, yes. The child was stillborn.”

Cloella felt awful for asking, why had she even bothered? Lady Van Tassel was yet to give birth to a healthy child, and had suffered three miscarriages. “I am so terribly sorry, please forgive the rudeness of my inquiry. I had just held out so much hope for the two of you!”

“There was no rudeness, child. Both Lady Van Tassel and myself were so full of hope as well, but now two different physicians are of the opinion that Lady Van Tassel is not of a strong enough constitution to bear children. She has lost all her dreams and hopes of motherhood, but perhaps it is for the best.” Baltus seemed as if he too had given up.

“You are right, this would be no time to chance the outcome of bringing you into my home. I would be very grieved if my offer of goodwill only ended up being a death sentence for you, given this latest forecast.”

No, Cloella couldn’t let him be so depressed. “Mr. Van Tassel, you and Lady Van Tassel are good and honest folk, and no husband and wife would be better suited to parenthood. I am sure that the powers that be can see this, and that one day you will be rewarded, if you just do not stop trying.”

A smile slowly spread back across Baltus’s face. “My dear child, if you are a witch, then I am the Black Devil said to have vanished into these woods!”

Cloella had begun to smile, but was quickly reminded that the Hessian would be returning today, possibly soon. She must get rid of Baltus. “Thank you, Mr. Van Tassel, you are very kind, much kinder than many here. But, you had better be going, it will be dark within the hour, and besides, no one must see you here, for your sake, and mine.”

“Yes, you are correct again, I am afraid.” Baltus sighed. “But please, take these, Lady Van Tassel and I have set aside some sugar, salt, flour and spices for you. I believe this will supply you through the winter, and then in spring, I will sneak more to you.”

Cloella took the basket and the other packages from him; Baltus had been by once before bearing such gifts. If he had not, she would have been starving by now. “I thank you more than I can say with words, Mr. Van Tassel! Please relay that to Lady Van Tassel as well. But, I cannot ask this of you again in the spring.” She smiled graciously, but really it would be so much easier, and safer, if Baltus’s visits were to end. She appreciated his concern deeply, but she had the Hessian in her life now, and would do anything to keep him in it.

“Oh we shall see, child! We shall see!” Baltus smiled as he climbed back onto his horse, and Cloella couldn’t help but notice that he did so without even half as much grace and elegance as the Hessian. “Do take care of yourself, my dear, and I pray you do not have any encounters with the hellish Horseman!”

“Thank you, Mr. Van Tassel, and I do not think I will see the wretched fiend, so please do not worry for me!” Again, Cloella fought to keep herself from smiling. Her Hessian, a wretched fiend? She thought not, at least, with her the Hessian was neither wretched, nor a fiend.

“Let us hope you do not, dear girl! So good to see you again!” Baltus said as he turned his horse, wobbling in the saddle and looking utterly sloppy when Cloella compared his horsemanship with the Hessian’s. “Good evening, my child!” Baltus yelled to her, and then he was off, getting farther and farther away, as Cloella felt more and more relieved. She’d managed it! Baltus suspected nothing!

She was filled with the thrill of an avoided danger as she skipped into the house, bearing the packages from Baltus. Now her original excitement returned. She must get ready, bathe, dress, check the stew, for the Hessian would return today!