Frost's Soulmate

Why Do You Chew Your Pain?

~*~

The gray ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
In your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view

What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry , but for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only know how much I love you, love you

I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here
-Sister Hazel

~*~

Deacon woke up much earlier than he usually did. He stretched and looked at the ceiling. What had woken him up? He looked down at the bed but Raven was gone. He frowned and stood crossing over to the bathroom. The water was running and he could faintly hear the sounds of her crying.

Twenty minutes earlier

Raven got up wincing with the movement and grabbed some clothes, heading into the shower. As she washed her body, cleaning a few drops of blood off her legs she burst into tears. He wasn’t what she wanted. He was evil. There was no way they could last in a relationship, much less build a healthy one.

Deacon Frost was cold, calculating, and cruel. She wanted a nice guy. Why couldn’t he be like Morgead who only pretended to be bad? Deacon didn’t wear a mask. He was just cold. Last night though… but that wasn’t the real him. She had given herself to the devil.

Her world was in shambles. Everything was wrong. He didn’t love her, Raven had her doubts that he could. How could she have made love to a man who didn’t love her. This was going nowhere, and it hurt too much. She just wanted a soul mate who shared her values, loved her, who would be her best friend. Why couldn’t Jez be there? She needed her best friend to either tell her she was being silly or tell her that she was right.

/Raven?/ The voice was unknown so she blocked it out. /Baby, I can feel your pain. What is it?
Deacon?/

/What’s wrong? Talk to me./

/There’s nothing that you can do./

/Bullshit. She heard the door open./

/I know I didn’t invite you in here./

/Are you done?/

/Yes, leave so I can get dressed./ He laughed. She could hear it with her ears and her mind.
/Woman, last night I touched and kissed every inch of your body. It’s a little late to get all embarrassed./

She reached out for her towel and he handed it to her. She wrapped it around herself and stepped out. “Would you mind leaving so I can get dressed?” Politeness couldn’t hurt, and maybe he’d respond better.

“Yeah, actually I would. You were crying.”

“Deacon-”

“I want to know what I did to make you cry.”

“Nothing. It’s just stupid girl stuff.”

His face darkened slightly. “I don’t like being lied to and you’re terrible at it anyways.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I do. Or do my feelings not matter?”

Her eyes flashed at him as she crossed her arms over her towel. “Don’t you dare use the feelings card!”

“Am I not allowed to have feelings?” he asked innocently. He was baiting her and knew it, but he had to figure out what was bothering her somehow. If it took pissing her off so be it.

“No, you’re not.”

“I believe that I proved last night that I do have some feelings.” She just glared at him. He softened a little bit knowing that something must really be bothering her. Raven hadn’t cried when he found her, or even when she told him what had been done to her. For whatever this is to be actually making her cry it must be important to her. “I can’t fix it if you won’t even tell me what’s wrong.”

Raven sighed. “Ever think that maybe it’s not your problem to fix? Maybe it’s mine.”

“Then let me help. I don’t like seeing you cry.”

“Damn it,” she muttered feeling tears fill her eyes again. He floundered for a second. Would she want him to hold her or stay away? He steeled himself and pulled her into his arms.

“Please don’t cry.”

“I hate you sometimes.”

He smiled. “I told you, you’re a terrible liar. And why is it that you’re talking about how much you hate me when I’m trying to be nice?”

She sighed. “Because things are so much easier when you’re an ass and I can hate you.”

“Why not try liking me?”

“I spent years fighting for the good guys… to be with you… I’m not asking you to change. I couldn’t do that, but I don’t want to change either. We both know who we are, we’re adults. How can we possibly build a relationship when we have absolutely no core values in common?”

He nuzzled her neck playfully nipping the nape, making her gasp. “Why must it be a relationship with you women?”

“Deacon.”

“Okay. Listen up, the way the world is right now… it’s too unsure. Why not just see how it goes?”

“See how it goes?”

“Maybe we’re compatible, maybe not. Why not try?”

“But you’re evil.”

He rolled his eyes. “And you’re good. I don’t go around complaining about that, now do I?”

She had to smile. “No.”

“Alright, so…”

“Let’s see how it goes.”

“That’s my girl. You feel okay?”

“Huh?” He gave her an obvious once over so she knew what he meant. “Oh, yeah.”

He grinned wickedly. “Good.” He grabbed the edge of the towel the tore if off of her.

“Deacon Frost! Give me my towel!”

“Take it,” he smirked holding it behind his back and stepping into the doorway. She had to press herself against him to reach behind him. “Raven?” She looked up and he kissed her.

“Cheat. That was just so you could kiss me.”

“No, I could kiss you anyhow. That was just so I could feel you against me.” He kissed her again dropping the towel so he could run his hands over her curves. She melted against him. “You’re so responsive.”

“You’re very good at what you do.”

He laughed before looking at her hungrily. “I’d very much like to make love to you.” She blushed. “May I?”

“I don’t think you’ve ever asked anyone for anything.”

“It’s a strange experience,” he admitted. “So…?”

She giggled. “Take me, I’m yours.” He lifted her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. “You seem very happy.”

“I’ve been thinking about you and this moment since I got up. Yeah, I’m looking forward to being with you again.” He carried her to his bed and they fell onto it.

“Deacon, I’m soaked.”

He slid a finger into her. “I can tell.”

She shuddered. “Not what I meant.”

“I know, I don’t care.” He looked into her eyes and he slid into her. Raven moaned softly her body arching into his. “Mine,” he murmured his voice a low growl as he moved. She ran her nails lightly up his back. His eyes went back to hers.

“Mine,” she whispered. He rolled onto his back taking her with him so she was poised on top of him. “Deacon?”

“It’s all yours, baby.” She smiled and started moving on him as though she had been doing it forever. He laid back watching the entrancing sight of Raven riding him. He reached up and tweaked her nipples, which caused her to gasp and move faster. His finish was quickly approaching. Raven suddenly cried out shuddering around him. He rolled them over again and kissed her and he pounded his own way to release. The two laid together panting.

“That’s wasn’t quite what I was planning on doing today,” Raven said.

“Funny, that’s exactly what I was planning on doing today,” Deacon smirked. “Come here, sweetheart.” She crawled into his arms and settled down. “I’m going to teach you to let your hair down and relax if it kills me.”

“That’s not a good way to word that,” she pointed out.

“Probably not,” he agreed, “ but I’m sticking with it.”

“What fates decided we would be perfect together?” Raven asked tracing an idle pattern on his chest.

“Don’t know,” Deacon said. “Whoever they were has a sick sense of humor… or they just knew how good we’d be in bed.”

“Aren’t you full of yourself?”

“Yes. But after last night and today I think I deserve to be a little cocky.”

He did, but she’d never admit that. “Sure.”

“Time to nap,” Deacon said. “I definitely need a nap.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “Deacon?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Everything. I… I don’t know how to thank you enough.”

“Just seeing you actually smiling goes a long way. Besides, it’s not like I’m getting nothing out of this deal.”
Raven smiled closing her eyes tiredly. “True.”

“Now go to sleep.”