A Trick of Eros

 

 

Chapter 8


 


Day 37; 0930 VST, Planet Vulcan, VSA

 

Spock raised his hand in the ta’al, dipping his head slightly towards his instructor. Although he would not be attending the Vulcan Science Academy and was sure the Starfleet Academy was the correct path for himself, he was aware that he would be turning down the opportunity to work with a brilliant scientist, one who had never scorned Spock for his Mother’s blood.

 

“I see the council has made the correct decision to decline you admission to the Vulcan Science Academy.”

 

Spock turned to face Stonn, who stood watching Spock with the same haughty expression he had since they first met as children. T’Pring stood at his side, her face as devoid of emotion as ever. She was a perfect representation of the Vulcan people, cold and emotionless as every other species in the universe believed. Spock disliked her but he did not hate her. While she would choose to be bonded to the man who had made it his life’s goal to prove Spock a lesser being, T’Pring had never once said anything against him. She had never tried to emotionally provoke him as their classmates had, but neither did she defend him.

 

“You are incorrect. The council accepted me into the Vulcan Science Academy.”

 

Stonn raised one eyebrow and came as close to sneering as a Vulcan would allow themselves. “Yet you are here removing your belongings from the Academy.”

 

“It would be illogical to leave the items here when I will be needing them elsewhere.”

 

“Yet you stated you are attending the Vulcan Science Academy.”

 

“I did not.” Spock arched an eyebrow at Stonn. “I stated that I was accepted, not that I accepted.”

 

“You declined to attend?” For the first time since they had met Spock caught the flicker of emotion in his ko-kugalsu’s voice.

 

“It is true.” Spock turned to face T’Pring, ignoring Stonn. “I declined the Council’s acceptance. It has been proven beyond question that Starfleet can offer the better future for me than the Vulcan Science Academy can.”

 

“Indeed,” the word was soft rather than the crisp sound that T’Pring normally spoke in. Spock was unsure what could have caused the change in tone, but he did not dislike the change. “I would speak with you.”

 

“That would be acceptable.”

 

“It is not.” Stonn grabbed T’Pring’s arm, gently pulling her behind him.

 

“She is not your ko-kugalsu, Stonn.”

 

“Neither is she yours.”

 

Spock’s eyebrow rose but he did not answer. Instead he waited to see what Stonn would do.

 

“Spock is correct,” T’Pring shook her arm lightly from Stonn’s grasp. “I am not your ko-kugalsu. I may speak with Spock at my choosing. When I have finished I may seek you out.” T’Pring nodded towards the hall leading out to the central courtyard and walked away from the two men, knowing Spock would follow her and that Stonn would remain behind as she had requested.

 

The two remained in the hallway watching her leave before turning to face each other again.

 

“If you leave I shall not allow you to keep her. I will claim her as my own.”

 

“If she would have you then I shall not stop you.”

 

“Do you have no interest in her, tekerik?”

 

“You should watch yourself, Stonn. You would not want others to see your emotional need to prove yourself superior to me in an illogical quest increase your self respect.” With that said Spock turned to follow T’Pring’s path to the courtyard. He did not look back to where Stonn remained, his hands clenched in olive colored fists at his side.

 

The courtyard that was at the center of the student lab center of the VSA building was more of a small lap-bah-ker than a true courtyard. There were red stone paths weaving through the rare, lush desert grass that grew here only due to the small aquifer feeding the garden. In between the paths were flowering plants and herbs for healing along with small succulent trees like the tir-nuk. It was a peaceful spot, ideal for meditation in between ones classes. T’Pring stood by a stone bench beneath one of the larger tir-nuk trees, it’s pale yellow blossoms drifting down into her hair on the breeze. As he approached he mused on the esthetic beauty of his once ko-kugalsu. She was as beautiful as any woman of any species he had ever seen, but in his eyes she could not equal his k’diwa’s beauty. Jim’s soul radiated its beauty past his physical features, filling the world around her in warmth and light.

 

“You have taken another as your consort.” She watched him, her eyes sharp but not with the scorn and censure he had expected.

 

“You have made it know that you would have Stonn, it was only logical to find another who would make a more suitable mate.”

 

T’Pring nodded. “That is so. I shall inform my parents that our bond will be dissolved before you leave Vulcan.”

 

“They shall be…fascinated by the turn of events.” Spock quirked an eyebrow at T’Pring curious if she would take the bate and reveal more.

 

“They shall see the logic in our bond being dissolved so that I may be bonded to Stonn. The dissolution of our bond is the logical choice.”

 

"I see no logic in preferring Stonn over me."

 

“You have become much known among our people Spock, almost a
legend. I felt the bond that you have formed and knew that it shall only make you a true legend in the memory of our people. I thought of that bond and what the years ahead would be and as the days went by, I came to know that I did not want to be the consort of a legend. But by the laws of our people I can only divorce you by the Kalifee."

 

Spock looked away from T’Pring, up into the red sky and the branches of the tir-nuk covered in its dainty yellow blossoms. “It shall be arranged.”

 

 

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *


Day 92; 10:45 am, Kirk Family Farm

 

Scott had been outside working on the house for most of the day. Jim had tried to go out and help him, but at nearly five months pregnant, his already growing belly was making it more and more difficult to do so. His back ached all the time, he had to pee almost every five minutes, and he found himself overwhelmingly exhausted for most of the day. Of course these were only the newest symptoms. He still had weird food cravings and some horrendous morning sickness. It was a straight up pain in his ass, but he wouldn’t give up his little baby for anything.

 

There were rare moments when the aches in his body finally piled up enough for him to briefly wish he hadn’t gotten pregnant, but then the guilt would hit him for even thinking it and he would be depressed and miserable for days. Scott, Mr. Freedman and Dr’s Phlox and O’Neill had been great at these times. Each of them had found some way to lighten Jim’s mood out of the dark thoughts.

 

Jim had also found himself very happy with the elderly Denobulan as a person, and budding friend as well. The man was surprisingly kind and a fount of strange stories that never ceased to amuse Jim. Plus, Jim had found him easy to talk to. Enough so that he brought up his concerns about how easy it had been to recognize himself as a “she” and then the occasional moments where he still caught himself thinking about himself in terms of being female. It was a conversation that spanned days and covered every concern Jim didn’t realize he had. Scott had also been talking with the doctor when he was in town to check on Jim, and Jim was of the opinion that Scott was having issues with the genderswap as well…or maybe he was disturbed about Jim being pregnant? Jim wasn’t certain and he was secretly afraid that it was the latter.

 

Jim didn’t know what to think. So in true Jim fashion he had run full tilt into the problem only to be told that he was worrying about nothing. That was irritating, but at least now Scott talked to him about his own time as a girl. It was bringing them closer together as well and Jim found himself spending a lot of time with Scott. Their friendship was growing deeper by the day and Jim was finding himself so relaxed and happy it was amazing. Even when he was depressed he was still happier than he had been since Spock’s brief visit.

 

With so much time on his hands, Dr. Phlox had suggested Jim begin his college courses online so that once when he was ready he could get a good job to help with the income to fix the house and raise his child. Jim had been thinking about it as well. There were several good colleges that had some good programs that could be partially completed online. And at least five of those were degrees and classes that could be transferred over to Starfleet classes as well. He was trying to narrow down the one or two degrees he wanted but there were so many things that sparked his interest. Maybe it would be a good idea to try a dual major? Or maybe a minor in one of the choices?

 

He knew he wanted to at least go with a computer science or a computer programming course. Not that it would teach him more than what he already knew, but maybe he could test out of most of the classes and just do the advanced level course and get a major in it in one year rather than four or more. A minor in xenolinguistics could work, that would at least allow him to learn Vulcan. Of course if he did that he should try to learn a couple other languages as well. Maybe Orion, Andorian and Klingon. He could even get Dr. Phlox to teach him Denobulan. It would be kinda nice to be able to talk with Spock and Dr. Phlox in their own languages.

 

“Good morning, Jim. How are your symptoms today?”

 

Jim turned to look away from the front yard and over to the elderly Denobulan standing beside the porch swing. He had arrived back in Riverside the day before after having gone to a medical conference on the Space Station orbiting Earth. He didn’t look tired at all and Jim often wondered if the man even slept, it always seemed like he was awake no matter what time of day or night Jim saw him. It was a little weird, but then as far as Jim knew Denobulan’s didn’t need as much rest as a Human.

 

“I’m bored outta my mind, Doc. Scott won’t let me do anything but sit here and sip lemonade.”

 

Dr. Phlox gave Jim a wide smile his eyes twinkling in that way that let Jim know the good doctor knew something that Jim didn’t. “Scott is a fine young man. He merely worries about you and the child you carry.”

 

“Yeah, whatever.” Jim crossed his arms over his tender chest and pouted. “I’m still bored though.”

 

Dr. Phlox moved to take the empty spot next to Jim on the porch swing. “Have you thought further on your studies?”

 

Jim sighed. “I haven’t decided yet. There are a couple programs I am looking at and I’m not sure which one to do.” Jim leaned his head back against the back of the swing and closed his eyes. “The best programs are all design to work into the Starfleet courses and honestly I don’t know how I could do a career in Starfleet with a child.”

 

For a long moment the two simply sat quietly on the swing, watching Scott moving up and down the ladder as the went about fixing the bad spot on the siding and the on the roof. The day was warm and the breeze was nearly non-existent, but the wide blue line of the sky touching the long golden line of the earth was still a peaceful sight.

 

“Have you spoken with Paul? He may be able to offer you a solution to your worries that you had not yet considered.”

 

“I can’t expect him to watch my child for me, Doc. He’s already doing more than he should for me.”

 

“Should that not be something up to Paul? If it makes him happy to help you, is it really a chore?” Dr. Phlox looked back at Jim. “There are many people here who care deeply for you, Jim and would like to help you in any way that you will allow them to.”

 

Jim didn’t really want to go down this road today. It was a hard thing to believe, that someone would care for him that way when even his own family didn’t. He was even starting to second guess Spock. He had written to the Vulcan several times now, sending the letters through the Vulcan consulate in San Francisco as Sarek had told him to, but Spock never replied. Jim was starting to fear that maybe Spock hadn’t really loved him as much as he thought and that now that he was away from Jim he was realizing what a mistake he had made. Especially since Jim had finally written about the baby he was carrying. They were both so young for this and Jim couldn’t really blame or hate the Vulcan if Jim’s pregnancy scared him off. Jim knew if a girl had come to him and said that she was pregnant with his child he would freak the fuck out.

 

“Would you teach me Denobulan, Doc?”

 

“I would be glad to, Jim. We can start now if it would please you.”

 

Jim nodded and looked towards the side yard where Kalilia and Amin were playing tug with a scrap of rope. The female saluki was starting to round out as Jim was from her currently growing litter. She had less than a month until she should be ready to give birth. There had already been requests from other breeders and show dog owners forwarded from the Freeman’s house to Jim’s since they were staying with him. There were in fact more people asking for the puppies than there were going to be puppies. Mr. Freedman said there were likely four or five puppies. Jim was actually kind of excited to see them. He rather liked dogs and having some puppies running around the house would be nice. There was a feral barn cat that lived on the property but Jim seldom saw the Tom as it did it’s very best to only be out and about when Jim wasn’t. Not exactly the type of animal you could sit around and pet, not if you wanted to keep your hand anyway.

 

“We shall start with the basic rules of sentence structure and then move onto the alphabet…”

 

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

1:20 pm, Kirk Family Farm

 

It was fairly rare anymore that a postman with actual paper mail would come by. In fact it had been almost four years ago that one had been by. It had been the first time Jim had actually had any paper mail of his own and he had been so excited at the time. It had been a punishment of Frank’s for driving the car off the cliff to send him to Tarsus IV but when Jim had held that thick paper envelope in his hands it had been like the universe was finally opening up for him. Now paper mail just left a sour bile in his mouth. He didn’t know what the mail would be for or for whom it was being sent but Jim knew it would lead to nothing but grief and pain.

 

The old white mail car pulled up next to Mr. Freedman’s truck and a young man of maybe 23 or 24 years stepped out. His brown hair was cut short and combed back, his white dress shirt and gray slacks were neatly pressed and his hazel eyes were sharp as they locked on Jim where he was sitting on the swing. He approached slowly his gaze sliding over to Kalilia who was laying with her head on Jim’s lap. The dog was watching the mailman with the same intense look, her lips pulling back to show sharp white teeth as the man stepped onto the porch next to Jim.

 

“I have a letter for Scott Freedman. You him?”

 

“No. He went into town ‘bout an hour ago.”

 

The mailman looked down at the legal-sized yellow envelope and his PADD. “Well, I’ll need you to sign this for him then.”

 

“Fine.” Jim reached out for the PADD and quickly jotted down his signature.

 

The mailman dropped the envelop in Jim’s hands, shot another glance at Kalilia and then nearly sprinted to his mail car. Jim watched him leave before glancing back down at the envelope. His hands clenched the edges, crinkling the thick paper.

 

“What do you have there?”

 

Jim couldn’t look away from the envelope. The address in the upper corner stood out in bold blue against the yellow of the envelope.

 

“Jim?” Dr. Phlox carefully reached out and set one hand on Jim’s shoulder before leaning down to look at the envelope. “Ah. So it finally arrived.”

 

Jim’s head snapped up to look into the Denobulan’s face. A soft smile was resting on the doctor’s face, in place of his usually over large smile. “You knew?”

 

“Scott asked me if I would give him a recommendation. Not that he had need of it. He is an intelligent boy and Starfleet would do quite well by taking him.”

 

“You. Knew.”

 

“Jim,” Dr. Phlox turned Jim to face towards him. “Scott is an intelligent young man and there is unfortunately not much that he can do here in Riverside that will keep him active and happy. Starfleet will be able to offer him a multitude of opportunities in any field that he could wish to pursue.”

 

Jim swallowed thickly and looked back down at the envelope. “He’ll leave too.”

 

“I understand that it will be quite a change to have him leave after he has spent so much time with you, but you must understand that he is not leaving you. He is simply moving onto his future. When you are ready you will be able to move forward to join him should you choose to.” Dr. Phlox gave Jim a warm smile. “I am sure that he would be quite pleased were you to join him in space one day.”

 

“I can’t. How could I go into space with my baby? I can’t give the little guy up and I can’t leave him behind.”

 

“Starfleet has provision for families. I am sure that you could request a posting where your child would be allowed to go with you. Perhaps even onto one of the larger starships like the one being built near here. It is being designed to accommodate a small number of crew with families.”

 

“Maybe, But I still don’t see how it could work.”

 

“Perhaps, it would be best to give it time. First you need to decide on your course of study. Starfleet is still a way off for you in any case.”

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

“Well, if that is settled perhaps we should head inside. Dr. O’Neill will be here shortly so that we may proceed with your next check-up. If you would like we should be able to determine the child’s gender today.”

 

“We can?”

 

“Yes, you are far enough along now that we should get a fairly accurate view of the baby for a visual comparison of gender, but we shall also be able to scan for a DNA profile for the child now as well.”

 

Jim swallowed, his throat suddenly thick. He would be able to see his baby, to see an image of the life that was growing inside him, the physical reminder of the first person who ever showed the slightest affection to Jim. That was awesome!

 

Jim gave the doctor a wide smile. “I think I’d like that.”

 

Dr. Phlox patted Jim on the shoulder and led him back inside. “Good, good. You should go change into the little gown and then come back down here that way you’ll be ready to start once she arrives.”


“Honey, I’m home!”

 

Jim and Dr. Phlox turned away from the stairwell to look at the open front door where Scott stood carefully balancing several bags of groceries as he tried to kick the door shut. Scott shot Jim a wide smile, filled to near overflowing with warmth and affection.

 

“You’ve got mail,” Jim held up the envelope still clutched tightly in his hand.

 

Scott caught sight of the Starfleet embalm on the front and his smile drooped. “I meant to tell you, Jim.”

 

Jim knew his smile was weak, faltering, strained as it hadn’t been since Tarsus IV. “It’s no biggie. I’m happy for you.”

 

“Jim-“

 

“I need to change. Dr. O’Neill will be here soon for my latest appointment.” Jim turned and quickly headed up the stairs. He wasn’t running away. No. It was just a tactical retreat.

 

“Shit.” Scott slumped, nearly dropping the bags full of groceries. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

 

“He knows that, my boy.” Dr. Phlox carefully took some of the bags from Scott’s hands and led him back into the kitchen. “Give him time and you shall see that he is truly quite proud of you.”

 

“If you say so.” Scott gave the Denobulan a skeptical look. “But Jim can hold a grudge for a long time when he wants and I don’t want to leave while he’s mad at me. Especially not when he needs all the support he can get.”

 

Dr. Phlox set the bags in his hands down upon the counter and began to carefully unpack them. “He is more upset than he would have you believe. But it is not you he is angry with but himself. He wants to go with you, to reach out and be a part of the stars again but for now he is trapped here upon the Earth. I think that once he begins working towards a new degree that he shall find his mind focused on something other than his unusual and unexpected pregnancy and that his closet friend is leaving him behind.”

 

Scott dropped into the chair at he kitchen table rested his face in the palms of his hands. He hated this. He hated that Jim was being denied a future that Scott knew Jim would excel at because of some freaky accident and a momentary lapse in judgment. He wanted Jim to be happy.

 

“He shall come around, Scott.” Dr. Phlox reached back into the bag and turned to Scott and smiled. “Apple?”

 

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Day 105; 1:44 pm, Riverside, Starfleet Shuttle Yard

 

September in Iowa was chilly this year, even more so than normal. The leaves on the trees had started to fall and had turned colors early and the wind was a near constant presence, whistling through the trees. Jim usually liked this time of year when the world seemed to be falling into a gentle sleep to wait out winter, but right now it seemed to merely irritate him. His body had become far more sensitive to cold than ever before and he found himself having to bundle up in multiple layers of clothing and heavy sweaters any time he stepped out his front door. Dr. Phlox had told him it was to be expected since his baby seemed to have primarily Vulcan genetics. Still didn’t mean Jim liked it.

 

Mr. Freedman, Scott, Dr. Phlox and Jim had all left the house after the morning chores had been done and lunch eaten. Today was meant to be a special day. Jim knew he should be excited to be heading out to the construction yard named after his Father, but he just felt empty and warn out. Dr. Phlox was leaving again and likely wouldn’t be back for another month and Scott was leaving now as well. God only knew when Jim would see him again. Jim didn’t like it. He liked having his house full of laughing, happy people that smiled at him and slapped his shoulders or ruffled his hair. It was like he had a real family for the first time, more so than even when Spock and his family had been there. While Sarek, Amanda and Spock had only been there for a couple of days, Scott and his Father had practically moved in over the last couple months. They had truly become a family to Jim.

 

“So,” Scott leaned into the cab of the truck from the truck bed through the back window. “How much longer until we arrive? I think Dr. Phlox here is turning into a popsicle.”

 

Mr. Freedman chuckled and turned a gaze to Jim, rolling his eyes. “It should only be another ten minutes, Scott. Now sit down.”

 

Scott stuck his tongue out at this Father and shot Jim a wide smile and a wink before pulling himself back into the truck bed and closing the window. Jim couldn’t help but smile at their antics though. A part of him was surprised that he didn’t feel jealous at the obviously close relationship between Father and Son, but then he realized that he didn’t feel jealous because the two made him feel like he was a part of their family. They never left him out of any of the joking or conversations that naturally arose between them. They welcomed Jim.

 

Jim’s smiled widened and he had to turn to look out the side window in order to keep Mr. Freedman from seeing the blush that was consuming his face.

 

Jim tried to ignore the way Mr. Freedman's eyes lit up with laughter as he spotted the red flush covering Jim's face. He knew the man didn't mean it in a hurtful way, just as a sign that he was amused and delighted that Jim felt something positive enough to blush about. And well, if it involved Scott, Mr. Freedman obviously found that even more amusing.

 

Jim gave Mr. Freedman a weak smile and blushed even further as the man reached over to pat Jim on the head. "We'll be there shortly. You should be able to see it off in the distance."

 

Jim turned to look back out the window and sure enough there in the distance was the large looming shape of Starfleet's newest starship. It still wasn't complete but the bones of her were already there, reaching up into the sky as if the ship couldn't wait to be released from her shackles and soaring into space.

 

"It's going to be huge," the words came out whisper soft and full of awe.

 

Mr. Freedman chuckled. "The largest Constellation Class ship to date. It will have all the bells and whistles Starfleet can come up with by the time it's done."

 

"No doubt." Jim shook his head, one hand inching down to cup the swell of his belly. "It's going to take them years…"

 

"Scott is hoping to get assigned to her once he graduates the Academy. He's been in love with the damn ship since he laid eyes on her."

 

A wide smile stretched across Jim's face as he watched the hulking mass of the starship and the construction yard get closer. "That sounds like Scott."

 

"True. It isn't likely to happen though. It'll take longer than Scott will be a cadet to get that ship done. But if he does good at his first posting his Captain could give him a recommendation to be assigned to her."

 

Jim found it strangely hard to look away from the ship. It was like a siren of myth calling out to him. But he couldn't tell if it would lead him to death or to the love it seemed to be promising. "What do they call her?"

 

"Enterprise. Like the old Navy vessel and Admiral Archer's ship. She's going to have a lot to live up to."

 

A sudden muffled shout and a bang from the roof had Jim's turning to face the back of the truck. In the window he could see the red of Scott's cadet uniform and a stretch of chocolate colored skin. Jim smiled and rolled his eyes at Dr. Phlox, who smiled widely at him through the window. Scott must have seen the ship as well and stood up to get a better view, his fists smacking the roof in his excitement.

 

Jim felt a little bad that the kindly old Denobulan was stuck in the back of the truck where the wind and bumpy dirt roads, were likely making the journey to the construction yard unpleasant. He had tried to argue that he should sit in the back instead but all three of the other men had ganged up on him until he had simply sighed and given in to their instance.  Pulling the "It's not good for the baby" card was going to get old really fast.

 

By the time Jim turned back to face the front window they were turning onto a wide paved road leading to the entry gate for the yard. There was a long stretch of metal fencing going out as far as Jim could see into either direction from the gate, just reinforcing how massive the construction yard and the ship it was building was. In front of them at the end of the drive was a small stone gatehouse, the Red Shirt manning it already leaning out his window to watch them pull up. The Red Shirt was obviously not human, he-she-it's skin being a rich warm ocher color with scarification patterns rising out in a strangely exotic beauty. The guard's eyes almost seemed to glow as they got closer. Still, even when they pulled up to the guard's window and were looking directly at he-she-it, Jim found it impossible to tell what gender the guard was. He had never actually met an alien of whatever race this fellow was. It was pretty exciting!

 

"Name please," asked the guard.

 

"Dr. Paul Freedman, James T. Kirk," here Mr. Freedman gave a quick tilt of his head in Jim's direction before pointing towards the back. "In the back is my son Scott Freedman, a Starfleet cadet, and Dr. Phlox."

 

The guard leaned out the window to catch a glimpse of the two in back before nodding. "We were expecting Dr. Phlox and Cadet Freedman."

 

Although it was not a question, Jim knew the guard was asking one. The 'What are the two of you doing here,' hung in the air between them.

 

"Jim is a patient of mine and is good friends with Cadet Freedman. His Father, Dr. Freedman was kind enough to give me a ride out here to catch the shuttle." Dr. Phlox gave the guard a smile. "There should be a note of that in the records. I spoke with Lt. M'Vurr about the matter a couple days ago."

 

The guard nodded and moved back into the guardhouse, flicking open the terminal there and scanning through the comma records. "Ok, they're good to go. Stay on the main path and take a left at the intersection ahead, it'll take you to the check-in station for the shuttle to San Francisco. Have a good day."

 

The gate in front gave a metallic clang and began to slide open, allowing the truck to pass through. Jim was a bit surprised it had been that easy, honestly. He had thought the security would be much tighter, but then he supposed Dr. Phlox had friends in high enough places to make giving Jim and Mr. Freedman access to the yard a minor issue.

 

The rest of the short drive was silent, all of them watching the Starfleet personnel going abbot their business. It was all pretty mundane really. A bit of a let-down, in comparison to what Jim had expected to see. Still, Jim was glad to have been able to get out of the house and to see Scott off to the Academy. He couldn't help but think of how much quieter it was going to be on the farm with just him and Mr. Freedman there. Especially since Mr. Freedman would need to be in town or out on other farms checking up on the animals. Logically he knew that it wouldn't be any quieter than before all of this had started with the arrival of his Vulcan quests, but it still felt different. Like he was losing something important.

 

The truck slowed to a stop next to another stone and metal building. It was larger than the guardhouse but only about the size of his library back on the farm. There was a large window on the front and Jim could see a large counter inside where another Starfleet Red Shirt was sitting next to a young woman in Command Gold. They were both human this time. The Red Shirt male looking to be of west Asian decent, probably from India or another nearby country, Jim couldn't be sure. The woman was harder to define. She looked like most people born on the North American continent...a mutt. There were signs of European ancestry, and hints of Native American Indian ancestry as well, perhaps even a little Asia based on the almond shape of her eyes.

 

The woman glanced up and raised an eyebrow at him as she caught him staring. Jim quickly looked away, feeling like a kid caught stealing a cookie before dinner.

 

Scott had already hopped out the back and made his way to Jim's side of the truck, pulling open the door and reaching in to help him out of the cab. Mr. Freedman was at the back giving Dr. Phlox a hand down before putting the back end up and securing it. Jim gladly took Scott's hand as he shifted his newly growing girth out of the truck to watch as the other three men went about unloading the few bags from the back. There wasn't much so it didn't take more than a couple minutes to get everything done and set aside by the door where a stack of other luggage was waiting. Scott and Dr. Phlox quickly vanished inside the building, checking in with the two Officers inside. PADDs were exchanged and e-signatures scrawled across them as they went about getting everything set up and checked in.

 

Jim leaned back against the truck and rolled his shoulders, trying to work out the kink that was growing. He had been finding more and more aches and pains popping up all along his shoulders and especially in his lower back as the baby continued to grow. It made for a great deal of discomfort that never fully went away no matter how many back rubs he got from Scott or Dr's Phlox and O'Neill. Dr. O'Neill had smiled sadly at him and told him that the pain was likely to remain for the entirety of his pregnancy and would likely only get worse as he got heavier. His body was simply not built for carry a child. Dr. Phlox…well, Dr. Phlox just looked excited by the whole process and all the painful complications.

 

Scott and Dr. Phlox returned from the building in good time and before Jim knew it they were talking the short walk around the building to where the shuttlecraft was waiting to take them on to San Francisco. The shuttlecraft wasn’t very large, probably room for all of ten passengers. The shuttlecraft was still in good shape, the paint on it’s sides designating it Starfleet property looked freshly applied, even. The hatch was open and a man in a black Starfleet uniform was standing by the entrance talking with another cadet in bright red.

 

The four of them stopped about five feet away from the other cadet and the black-suited Starfleet officer. Mr. freedman pulled his son to him, wrapping his arms around Scott in a tight hug. It was the type of hug Sam had always called a bear hug. Watching Mr. Freedman embrace his son in such a hug left a strange feeling stirring in Jim’s gut, his heart aching. He mentally shook it off and pushed away the troubling emotions until they were buried away with all the others.

 

Mr. Freedman smiled again and clasped his hand on Scott’s shoulder. “I am proud of you, Son. You give Starfleet all you’ve got and don’t forget to give us a call in between classes.”

 

“Not between every class, surely.”

 

“No,” Mr. Freedman smiled and pulled Scott to him again. “Just try for at least once a week, okay.”

 

“Yeah, Dad. Once a week.” Scott gave his father one last tight hug before pulling away and turning to face Jim. “Try not to get into too much trouble, eh, Sunshine.”

 

“Who me,” Jim smiled and looked to the ground. He was happy for Scott, really, but it still hurt that he was leaving. “Try to come see us soon, okay. The baby will want to see its Godfather before he becomes a famous Starfleet Captain.”

 

Scott’s face lit up like the fourth of July. “Godfather? Really?”

 

Jim nodded and glanced back up at Scott. With a whooping cry, Scott wrapped Jim in a tight hug, practically lifting him up off his feet. Jim made a startled noise and clung tightly to Scott as they twirled around.

 

“Please, Scott, I puke enough as it is,” said Jim as he was carefully set on the ground.

 

“Hey, I’m entitled to a little excess. It’s not every day I get named a Godfather.” Scott pulled Jim in for another hug and as he pulled back he left a soft kiss on Jim’s forehead. “You listen to the Docs and stay safe. I want to hold that baby when I get back.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Scott placed his hand on Jim’s stomach where the baby was growing. Another soft smile stretched across his face. “I’ll be back for a visit soon.”

 

“Stay safe, Scott.”

 

Scott leaned down to place another kiss against Jim’s forehead back he moved to join the other cadet’s on the shuttlecraft. Dr. Phlox gave Jim and Mr. Freedman a quick nod and followed Scott onboard. He would be back in a couple weeks, so goodbyes were unneeded.

 

Mr. Freedman and Jim remained near the shuttle for another ten minutes before the last passenger was loaded and the doors closed. Its lift off was near silent in the bustle and chaos of the construction yard, but Jim found he couldn’t hear anything but the soft whooshing as it cut through the breeze.

 

“We should start back.” Mr. Freedman placed his hand on Jim’s shoulder and gently guided him back towards the truck. “We can stop in town and get some fresh produce from the farmer’s market. Maybe get a little ice cream?”

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

 

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Day 105; 3:20 pm, Riverside, Farmer’s Market

 

The Farmer’s market was held partially in the parking lot for the bank and partially into the small park. Stalls were packed tightly in the available space, the tops covered by durable outdoor fabric to prevent the wind and rain from freezing the local farmers and craftspeople. There was every type of Earth produce, and some alien produce that you could grow in the ground or in a hothouse, on display. There were also many stalls filled with various crafts. Everything from honey to hand-stitched quilts was on sale.

 

Jim wondered through the market with Mr. Freedman, picking up a couple cartons of old-fashioned churned butter, several containers of Mrs. Everson’s freezer jam, and several packages of fresh garden vegetables that he was unable to grow on his own. The spent another few minutes in line at the Froz Cone stall to get some old fashioned ice cream cones. It was really a bit too cold for them but most people couldn’t resist the treat anytime the stall was open at the market. Like most of the food sold it was all locally produced and done the old fashioned way. Jim knew for a fact that was true as he had spent last summer helping to make the ice cream for the summer market and county fair.

 

“Jim, dear,” Mrs. Donnafrio smiled at him as Mr. Freedman and him made it to the front of the line. “How are you feeling today?”

 

“Not bad, Mrs. Donnafrio.” Mrs. Donnafrio was completely opposite her husband. While he was stern and tall, built like a beanpole, she was short and round and just bubbling over with happiness. It always threw him a little that she had married his stern anthropology teacher.

 

“Now, Jim,” she wagged her finger at him and gave him a mock stern face, “I thought I told you to call me Anne.”

 

“Okay, jeez. I am doing okay, Anne.”

 

“The morning sickness isn’t causing you any trouble then? Good, I always hated that part of being pregnant. Well, that and the constant need to pee.”

 

Jim groaned into his hands. “How do you know?”

 

“That you’re pregnant?” Anne smiled and reached across the counter of the booth to place her hand on his shoulder. “Dear I have been pregnant and I have seen enough pregnant women, even a few aliens, to recognize that glow you have.”

 

Jim groaned again and Mr. Freedman just chuckled, laying his hand on Jim’s other shoulder and sharing a wink with Anne. “Now, calm down son, you know Anne is just teasing you. You aren’t glowing that much.”

 

Jim growled and mock swatted at Mr. Freedman, who simply chuckled and side-stepped. “That’s not the point! God…How many people know?”

 

“Jim, dear, this is a small town.”

 

“Oh God,” Jim suddenly felt faint. All the leering faces and whispered conversation between the people at the market suddenly made sense. “They all know!”

 

Mr. Freedman quickly grabbed Jim by the elbow and led Jim to the space behind the Froz Cone stall, where a small table and a couple chairs had been set up for the workers. Anne grabbed to small bowls of strawberry ice cream and ushered Patti Franks to the front of the stall before joining them at the little table. She set the plastic bowls on the table before Jim and Mr. Freedman and then sat down. Her face was calm and steady and Jim was suddenly reminded of her husband.

 

“You have no reason to be ashamed. That baby growing inside you…that is a God given miracle. Do you have any idea how many gay men out there would love to be able to carry a child, their child. You have been given a great gift, do not shrink from it or the narrow minded view of anyone stupid enough to give you grief over it.”

 

Jim glanced up from the tabletop. Anne was watching him like a hawk, her eyes piercing him to his core. Mr. Freedman was nodding as well, his eyes and whole demeanor just as serious.

 

“You want that baby, don’t you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then that is all that matters. No one else’s opinion of this baby matters but yours.”

 

Jim gave a week smile and let his hands cup his growing belly. “Thanks.”

 

Anne nodded and pushed the bowl of ice cream towards him again. “Now you eat that up. It’s on the house.”

 

“But-“

 

“Don’t argue, Jim, you know you’ll lose,” interrupted Mr. Freedman.

 

Jim gave another gusty sigh and pulled the little plastic bowl to him. The pink ice cream was dotted with large chunks of fresh strawberries and had already started to melt just a bit. “Fine.”

 

Anne gave him another smile and a pat on the shoulder before changing the topic to the ultrasound pictures and baby cloths.

 

*~*~*

 

A few feet away from where the three sat talking about the baby and all the things Jim would need, a man hovered in the shadows, eyes narrowed. He had only come back because his brother had forced him to leave, told him that he needed to get a job and bring in an income if he was going to remain any longer. Frank hated that. Hated the smarmy sound of his brother’s voice when he talked to him. He sounded just like Jim whenever he opened his mouth, all stuck up like he knew everything. He couldn’t stand it!

 

So he had grabbed his stuff, tossed it in his car and headed back to Riverside to crash at his drinking buddies place until he could find another place he could stay long term or until he could find some job that wouldn’t require him to do much.

 

Instead of finding a job though, he found his ex-stepson. His ex-stepson that was sitting at that small stinking table eating ice cream with that fat pig of a woman and the black mutt. His ex-stepson who was looking to have gotten fat in Frank’s brief time away. Kid must have sucked up something good to get enough food to get that kind of belly in such a short time.

 

Frank’s eyes narrowed further as he watched the way the black mutt touched, Jim. ‘Well,’ he thought, ‘Looks like I know what he was a suckin’ on. Always knew he was a lil’ whore.’

 

Frank remained in the shadows for near twenty minutes watching them, cataloging each touch, each smile and every whispered word. Still he could not hear but then, as they stood he realized he wouldn’t have to hear them. The way that little fag placed his hand against the swell of his belly…Shit, he knew that brat had been taking it up the ass from someone, now it appeared he had taken it up the vag as well. ‘Maybe I shoulda’ stayed. Could have fucked the freak until he cried an’ begged me ta stop.’

 

The black mutt stood and placed his hand at Jim’s back, guiding the little whore through the crowd and out of the market.

 

 

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Day 105; 6:38 pm, Kirk Family Farm

 

It seemed like it had been days, weeks even since he had last been inside his own home, but really it had only half a day. It just seemed like everything that happened today was a heavy weight that just kept getting heavier, dragging him down. He felt heavy, both physically and emotionally. He was really ready for the day to be over so he could just fall in his bed, snuggle up to Spock’s pillow (not that it smelled like Spock anymore), listen to the music playlist he was building for his precious little one and go to bed.

 

Mr. Freedman was talking again, calling out to Amin and Kalilia, who didn’t seem to be nearby, but Jim wasn’t really paying attention. His full attention was focused inward. There was so much going on right now and there were still so many things he wanted to happen that weren’t. Like Spock. God, he wanted to hear from Spock, but he had damn near given up hope that his Vulcan lover would write or even comm him back. It had been months and he had sent dozens of letters now. Letters about the baby, about how he missed Spock with every fiber of his being. Letters about how Jim had lied, how he had led Spock on into believing he was always a girl. Letters pleading for Spock to write back, even if only to condemn him. Sometimes he was sure he really was a girl as pathetically lovesick and moody as he was. He was like one of those pathetic chicks in a romcom, but unlike them he didn’t think he would get his man at the end.

 

“Damn, Jimmy, you got fat.”

 

Jim’s head snapped up and his eyes zeroed in on the figure standing in the kitchen doorway. Mr. Freedman had stopped at his side and placed a calming hand on Jim’s back, out of sight of the tall figure.

 

“Jimmy…” The words were whisper soft and held an edge of some emotion Jim just wasn’t sure he recognized. He knew he should know this man but…there was something familiar about him, but Jim just didn’t recognize him.

 

“God, Jimmy. Look at you.”

 

Before Jim knew what was happening he was being pulled into strong wiry arms, pulled tight against the man’s chest as if the man was afraid Jim would bolt away. Which he was planning to do in all honesty. Before he could bolt the mans hands slide over his shoulders and down his arms to grip his wrist as the man stepped back, looking him over carefully.

 

“You look so different,” the tone was wistful now. “I suppose I don’t look the same either. It’s been too long…years.” The man swallowed hard and blinked back tears. “I was an idiot, Jimmy. I hope you can forgive me.”

 

Jim fought the urge to wrap his arms protectively over his stomach and hide behind Mr. Freedman. He was a Kirk. He wasn’t going to cower away in a corner while someone else fought for him. He wasn’t his Mother.

 

Taking a deep breath he took a moment to really look at the young man clutching him like a precious baby bird moments away from flying off. “Sam…”

 

The smile his big brother gave him looked both hopeful and broken. It was a smile Jim had begun to see on his face whenever he looked at the picture of Spock sitting on his desk. Jim didn’t know if he could forgive Sam for leaving him, but he also didn’t know if he would have the heart not to. They had both been kids and kids made mistakes. It just seemed that most of the mistakes made had a negative reaction for Jim. Without Sam to protect him, Frank had been free to do whatever he wanted to Jim. He no longer had a filter forced on him to keep the insults and abuse to a minimum.

 

Sam’s blue eyes had taken on a hint of grey, reminding Jim of the pictures of stormy seas in some of the books in the library. His hair was still that same rich brown but was now cropped short, almost like it had been buzz-cut short and was just beginning to grow back in. When Sam left he hadn’t even been able to grow facial hair, now he had a beard growing in thick and dark. He looked so very different from the teenager who had run away from home, he looked like an adult, like a stranger. Jim didn’t know his man standing before him. He had know a boy who had been a coward and a liar, but this man…

 

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Jimmy. I hope you can but I know I don’t deserve it. I shouldn’t have left you here. Not with Frank.” Sam’s hands dropped to his sides and his head and shoulders drooped. “I fucked up and it hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you Jim.”

 

“Could’ve fooled me.” Sam flinched and seemed to wilt even further. “Why are you here, Sam? Why did you come back now? Why not the year before or two years ago or even after I drove Dad’s car off the cliff,” With each question Jim’s voice grew louder until he was standing in his brother’s face screaming, tears pouring down his face. “Why!”

 

The tears growing in Sam’s eyes finally broke free and began pouring down his face in thick rivers. “I don’t have an answer for you, Jim. Not one that would make anything better.”

 

“Get out.”

 

“Jimmy, please-“

 

“Don’t call me that!”

 

“Jim-“

 

“OUT!” Jim clenched his eyes shut as he screamed blocking out the sight of his brother defeated and hopeless expression.

 

Sam let out a shaky sigh that sounded suspiciously like a sob and moved past Jim’s shaking form and the pitying expression on Mr. Freeman’s face towards the door. His hand reached out, touching the doorknob and paused. “I know it won’t mean anything to you but I want to do better. I want to be a big brother that I should have been back then, if you’ll let me.” Without looking back Sam opened the door and stepped out, the door making a soft ‘click’ as it closed behind him.

 

“Why don’t you head up to bed and get a nap, Jim. I’ll start making something for dinner okay.”

 

“Yeah,” eyes still on the floor Jim turned and headed up the stairs to his room.

 

Mr. Freedman waited until the sight of Jim’s hunched back vanished at the top of the stairs before sighing. Those Kirk boys could hold a grudge like no bodies business, a definite trait of their Mother’s. Fortunately he knew they also had their Father’s forgiving nature. It may take days, perhaps even years but eventually Sam and Jim would forgive each other for any perceived wrongs.

 

 

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Day 107; 9:53 am, Kirk Family Farm

 

Aurelan Kirk was many things but patient was not one of them, not when it meant her brief time as a newly wed was being ruined by her husbands inability to grow a pair and talk to his own brother. She understood just how bad things were between the two but honestly! The past was the past and the two needed to stop acting like children and get over it. Yes, their Dad died the day Jim was born, but that didn’t mean his death was Jim’s responsibility. Yes, Sam had been so grief stricken that for years after he had a hard time looking at his brother as Jim grew to look more and more like their dead Father. Yes, both of them had been hurt by their Mother’s inability to stay with them and help them through their shared grief and yes, they had both been abused by the man their Mother had chosen to take on the role of step-Father. Their lives had been horrible but it would also never get better if they spent the rest of it looking backwards.

 

Mind made up, Aurelan finished putting on her make-up and went to get her husband. Things were going to change. She would make sure of it, come hell or high water.

 

Throwing open the bathroom door, Aurelan stepped into the main part of their hotel room and glared down her husband. “No more playing around. Get up and get dressed. We have places to be.”

 

* * *

The drive from their hotel in downtown Riverside didn’t take long, which left little time for Sam to try and figure out what to say to Jim. He hadn’t wanted to go back today. He had wanted for Jim to come to him when he was ready. But his wife was a force to be reckoned with when she was all fired up and Sam didn’t have the heart to fight her on this when he so badly wanted to have his little brother back in his life. So here they were driving up the long dirt road to his childhood home.

 

It looked much the same, he thought. There was a fresh coat of paint and some of the shingles on the roof looked to have been recently replaced, but he could still spot some of the places that Jim and he used to be out constantly fixing up, like the barn in the back that still looked as if it could be blown away by the next storm.

 

He shouldn’t really be surprised by any of this, he thought while getting out of the car. He was here a couple days ago after all and not that much was going to change in such a short amount of time.

 

“Don’t just stand there, Sam. I want to meet this brother of yours.”

 

“Yes, dear.” Sam shook his head to clear away the rising memories.

 

The two of them made their way up the drive to the front steps. He found that he couldn’t resist running his hands over the old weatherworn railings. The smooth wood occasionally slipping into little rough spots made him smile. This whole house seemed almost a metaphor for Jim’s and his life as children. Silently he hoped that it wasn’t a metaphor for Jimmy’s current life.

 

Aurelan pulled herself up the stairs to the front door, her stomach swaying as she tried to moved the extra girth that had only gotten bigger in the last few months. Sam couldn’t help but smile. Even large like she was now she still had the glow that had first called to him and now it had an extra glow that made her even more beautiful. In a way it reminded him of Jimmy. His brother had shot up like all growing boys do, but there was something else…something he couldn’t quiet place but knew he should recognize, when he looked at his brother. Oh well, he could worry about it later. Right now he needed to focus on explaining himself to Jimmy and hoping his wife didn’t do something drastic like locking them in a closet together to talk it out.

 

Sam stepped up to the door where his wife was already knocking. He could hear dogs inside barking and a gentle voice hushing them.

 

Jim opened the door and stood there looking at Sam before his eyes roamed over to Aurelan. There was a long moment where Aurelan and Jim stood staring at each other until Jim finally glanced down at her stomach. A look of recognition passed over Jim’s face as he looked at Aurelan’s belly.

 

“How far along are you?”

 

“Seven months.” Aurelan gave Jim a piercing looking, but a warm smile was beginning to form at the corners of her mouth. “How about you?”

 

Jim blushed wildly and ushered them in even as he mumbled his reply, “Five months basically.”

 

Sam stumbled and nearly fell over his own feet. He couldn’t have possibly just heard his little brother say he was five months pregnant!

 

“That’s lovely,” Aurelan smiled and took Jim’s arm in hers. “Now my little boy will have a cousin to play with!”

 

Jim’s smile faltered for a moment. “Are the two of you moving to Riverside?” Jim reached down to nervously scratch at Amin’s head.

 

“For now at least. Starfleet asked for Sam’s assistance on setting up the biology labs on their newest ship.” Aurelan beamed up at Sam, who blushed and rubbed his nose sheepishly. “There have been a couple other offers but we decided that we didn’t want to take an off world posting yet. Not with a baby on the way, and not while there is still unfinished business between the two of you. If something should happen, God forbid, I don’t want one of you dying and leaving the other wondering if they could have done something to patch things up.”

 

Jim sighed but nodded. He had been thinking a lot since Sam had left the other day. Thinking and getting lectured by Mr. Freedman and Dr. O’Neill, actually and he was beginning to think they and Aurelan were right. This pregnancy was high risk and there was a dangerously high chance that Jim and the baby could die. He didn’t want something to happen where they would be unable to apologize and try to create an actual relationship with each other. He wanted to have his brother be a part of his life, he just didn’t know how to do so.

 

“Well,” Aurelan stood, “I think I am going to go the bathroom. You two sit and talk.”

 

The two brothers glanced at each other in silent understanding of the order they had been given. Watching her head to the bathroom, Jim led Sam into the library and sat down on the couch.

 

“So…” The two blinked and smiled as they realized they had spoken together. Both of them so confused about how to begin that they had matched each other’s thoughts.

 

Sam ran a hand through his hair, nervously before looking back to Jim. “I really am sorry I was such an insensitive ass. You’re my brother and I never treated you as you deserved to be treated. I just let myself get lost in grief and anger and I ended up taking it out on you.”

 

“Everyone did.”

 

“And we shouldn’t have, Jimmy. It was never your fault Dad died and Mom went off the deep end. You were just a baby, an innocent that was unlucky enough to get stuck with us as your family.”

 

Jim let out a sad chuckle. “I think we are all unlucky in this.”

 

“Maybe so, but we certainly didn’t make it any easier for you. I can’t keep saying that I was a kid, that isn’t any excuse for not fighting harder to protect you from Frank or for running away when it just got to be too much for me. I could have at least tried to take you with me.”

 

“Maybe so, but you wouldn’t have gotten far with a second mouth to feed. Let’s be honest about that.” Taking a deep breath Jim reached out to gently squeeze his brother’s hand. “Besides it wasn’t your job to protect me. Mom should have done that.”

 

“She should have but there is no way she could’ve.”

 

“What do you mean? Yeah she’s been in space forever, but it wouldn’t be that hard to request a ground posting.”

 

“You don’t know?”

 

“Know what, Sam?”

 

“Mom,” Sam sighed. “Jim she had a lot of problems that she didn’t get counseling for right after Dad died. When she rejoined Starfleet for active duty they had her go through the standard psych evals…she didn’t pass. They found she had a really bad case of PTSD and Postpartum Depression from your birth as well. Without treatment there was no way she could be a fit Mother for either of us. Honestly, I am surprised she made it so many years without someone noticing and contacting the authorities.”

 

“So what? She still left us! She never calls or writes! I am sure she is out having fun somewhere she can pretend she isn’t a Mom.”

 

“Jim, you need to understand.” Sam grabbed Jim’s hands, pulling him back down onto the couch. “She is hospitalized. She hasn’t cleared any of her evals yet. The Betazeds and the Vulcan mind healers that work at the Starfleet Sanatorium can’t say she wouldn’t be a danger to herself or others. They won’t release her until she can accept that Dad is dead and that she isn’t still pregnant with you.”

 

“And that should do what for me? She should have sought help when I was a baby if she needed it! Instead she tried to play house until she got tired of it!”

 

“Jim that’s not true! Mom tried, she did. But those are serious psychological disorders. They don’t just go away because we want them to. I can’t speak for Mom about why she didn’t get help until it was forced on her. But, I want you to understand that she didn’t abandon you because she didn’t love you, she tried to be a Mother as best she could until it was simply impossible for her to do so.”

 

Jim slumped in his seat, the sudden anger gone as quickly as it had come. He had been so angry with her for so long, thinking she had left because she hated him and that that was why she never called and never wrote to him. Instead she was locked up in some house for crazy people because she loved his Dad too much to stay sane after his death. He didn’t know how to take that. How was he supposed to reconcile this new vision of his Mom in his mind with the one that he had had since he was five?

 

“When she is able to, I am sure Mom will try to see you and apologize herself. I don’t know when or if it will ever happen, Jimmy, but I hope it does. I hope you get the chance to know the Mom that I did for that short while.”

 

Jim nodded, new tears filling his eyes. Damn it. He didn’t want to cry. He was stronger than this.

 

Sam pulled Jim back to him, wrapping one arm over Jim’s shoulders in an awkward hug. “So, you’re really pregnant, huh?”

 

Jim tried to laugh at his brothers attempt to find a less horrible topic. Of course it wasn’t really much better. “Yeah. Yeah, I am. Is that going to be a problem?”

 

“No,” Sam felt a little startled again at the confirmation that his little brother was pregnant. “How did that happen anyway?”

 

Jim sighed. “There was an accident in chemistry class and a bunch of us had our genders changed. They still haven’t figured out how, but they think some of the chemicals may have been mislabeled and were actually alien compounds.”

 

“Weird.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“So…was it Mr. Freedman’s kid who knocked you up?”

 

“What? Scott!”

 

“I am assuming that is why Mr. Freedman seems to be living here.”

 

“No, Scott isn’t the father. Scott got turned into a girl as well. There will probably even be a picture in the year book with all of us genderbenders.” Jim gave a snorting laugh and shook his head. “No, it was some visitors. This really nice lady, Amanda Grayson and her family stayed for a couple days when their hovercar broke down. They had a son,” Jim suddenly blushed scarlet up to the tips of his ears as he remembered just how Spock had knocked him up.

 

“Ah,” Sam smiled knowingly at Jim. “I take it the son was pretty hot.”

 

“Hot like Vulcan.”

 

Sam was so shocked he couldn’t help letting out a loud roaring laugh his free hand clenching at his belly as he bent forward.

 

“Well, it looks like I won’t have to tie you two up and shove you in a closet after all,” Aurelan said as she stepped into the room.

 

 

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Day 117; 7:00 am, Riverside, Iowa

 

This was the first time that he would be going into Dr. O’Neill’s office in the town for an exam. He supposed that making her come all the way out to his farm was ridiculous now that everyone in town knew he was pregnant. Still, he felt very exposed and uncomfortable walking into the open like this. It was only a few feet from Mr. Freedman’s truck to the Doctor’s Office, it didn’t leave a lot of time for anyone to stop him or attack him. Of course he doubted Mr. freedman would let anyone attack him, but you never knew.

 

“I’ll walk you in but then I’m going to have to head down to my Vet Clinic. Give the Clinic a call when your appointment’s done and I can come get you, or you can call your Brother. I am sure he would love the chance to spend more time with you.”

 

“Now you’re just teasing me. I’m not having my brother get me from here. God damn, that would be embarrassing.”

 

Mr. Freedman chuckled and lightly pushed Jim through the open doorway into the building. The receptionist in the lobby looked up as they entered and blushed as she glanced down at Jim’s swelling abdomen. After a moments hesitation she flashed Jim a wide, but fake, smile and asked him to take a seat while Dr. O’Neill was informed that he had arrived.

 

The seating area in the lobby was like any other doctor’s office, rather bland with random bits of artwork, in this case it was ocean landscapes. There were two other women, both heavily pregnant and one man holding a small child, already seated. All three adults looked up at Jim and then glanced down at his belly. The man looked away quick, his skin having gone white at the sight of Jim. The two men looked curious but looked away when Jim made eye contact.

 

Mr. Freedman helped Jim get seated before apologizing that he had to get on his way. Jim knew it was true because the man had been at nearly every other appointment he had had so far. Jim smiled and assured him that he could take care of himself and wasn’t likely to be hurt in the doctor’s office. Mr. Freedman had laughed and as he turned to leave he had told Jim that if anyone could do it, it would be Jim.

 

When Jim had looked away from the doorway where Mr. Freedman had exited, he noticed that the two women had moved to sit next to each other and were now whispering to each other trying to sneak little glances at him when they thought he wasn’t looking. Great. Just lovely. Now there were bound to be even more rumors going about town that Jim was pregnant with Scott’s baby or maybe Mr. Freedman’s baby on top of the ones already going around saying that Spock or his Father had impregnated Jim.

 

“Jim,” called Dr. O’Neill. “You can come back now.”

 

* * *

 

Frank stood across the street watching as his former step-son was helped out of the truck by that damn black-mutt, Freedman. The boy was showing even more than he had a few days ago, his stomach bloated with that spawn of his. Frank didn’t know which of the rumors was true but it didn’t matter. Alien freak baby or a black skinned mutt, either way it was an abomination that made Frank’s skin crawl.

 

As he watched the freak and the mutt enter the building Frank knew what he would have to do. There was no other choice if he wanted to ensure his town stayed clean. He would have to be careful, though. This wasn’t going to be something he could do without risk, but if it went down like he hoped then Riverside would be safe from at least one more freak. If he was lucky he would even be able to get ride of the little fuck up, Jim.

 

A crooked smile stretched across Frank’s face and if anyone had been outside to see it they would have found themselves moving as fast as possible across the street. But there was no one there and so he was able to slip into the shadows to wait for Jim to leave.

 

* * *

 

Jim could have stayed inside that little exam room all day. The sound of his child’s heartbeat filling he room was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. No matter what the doctor said he would always deny that he had cried the first time he heard it. Still, it was a delight every time he heard it. This time Dr. O’Neill had been able to gift him with a recording of the heartbeat along with the ultrasound photo. It was a gift he knew he would always cherish.

 

‘I should make a copy to send to Spock. Even if he doesn’t want to talk to me now he should still be able to know his child.’

 

Jim clutched the envelope with the ultrasound picture and audio recording to his chest. Right now, besides his baby, these were his most precious possessions. He couldn’t help the grin that seemed permanently etched onto his face at the thought of his precious baby.

 

Jim looked up to glance around the parking lot. The receptionist had said she call for Sam to pick him up, although it wasn’t likely that Sam would have gotten here from the farm so fast. The thought of his brother back home again and with a wife and child on the way made Jim smile as well. Aurelan was due soon too and damned if she wasn’t a fierce little fury.  She was everything his brother needed to be whipped into shape. She was not a woman who would let Sam get away with anything and for that Jim was glad. It brought Sam back to him when Jim was sure he would never see his brother again. She was a true blessing for what was left of the Kirk family.

 

Jim spied a wooden bench under a large oak and went to sit down, Sam’s car wasn’t there yet and might not be for several more minutes. There were very few leaves left on the old oak, Jim noticed and the breeze was back again. Jim had to suppress a shiver and pulled his jacket tighter. It probably would have been better to sit inside and wait but Jim didn’t like the way the receptionist kept looking at him or the way the other patients in the waiting room would start to whisper to each other while watching him. Of course he knew he had to get used to it. It was a small town and even though the Starfleet Construction Yard was just out of town, they still didn’t get a lot of the aliens working there coming into town. So people were still used to being around other Humans, and a pregnant Human male kind of went drastically against the norm. So it really wasn’t that unusual that the townsfolk were weirded out by him right now. 

 

Sighing Jim looked around again, trying to look further up the street in either direct to see if he could spot Sam’s car.

 

‘No…Can’t be.’ Jim flinched as he caught sight of a figure lurking in the shadows of the fabric store across the street. He couldn’t be one hundred percent certain but every instinct he had was screaming at him in alarm. He hadn’t been this afraid since he had stared Kodos in the face and spit at his feet as he watched the man give the order for 4,000 of the other colonists to be executed. He needed to get out of here. He needed to be some place safe where Frank couldn’t get to him…to his baby!

 

Looking away from Frank and back to his abdomen and the envelope clutched in his hands, Jim made a snap decision to make a run for it. He couldn’t stay here in the open where Frank could get him so easily and he couldn’t trust the people in the Doctor’s Office to protect him, so the only option left was to run the three blocks to Mr. Freedman’s Vet Clinic.

 

Glancing up at the figure, which had taken a few steps out of the shadows to prove that it was Frank and that he did see Jim, Jim made his decision. He swallowed thickly as the grin on Frank’s face stretched out like an evil Cheshire cat’s grin. Without waiting for further thoughts or for Frank to venture any closer Jim stood up from the bench and dashed off as fast as his legs and swollen belly would allow him.

 

His heart was beating wildly in his chest, hard enough it felt as if it would burst right out of his body. He couldn’t stop and couldn’t risk looking backwards to see if he was being fallowed, it would only slow him down. So he ran, nearly tripping over his own feet in his hast.

 

Jim slammed into the door, forcing it wide as he barreled into the clinic. The bell seemed strangely shrill as it announced his presence. The old woman watching the front desk for Mr. Freedman looked startled as Jim came to a skidding stop in front of her desk.

 

“Lands sake, child, are you okay,” asked the woman.

 

“No,” Jim took in some deep gasping breaths. “I need-“

 

“You need to sit down.” She stood and went around the counter helping him to sit down as he clutched at his belly. “Stay here, hon, I’ll go get Paul for you.”

 

Jim nodded not sure he could say anything as he tried to pull himself together. He sat there taking deep breaths and running one hand over his belly as he stared out the door, waiting to see if Frank appeared. It was probably on three, maybe four minutes before Mr. Freedman arrived from the back along with the old woman.

 

“Jim, are you all right? Margaret said you came running in like the hounds of Hell were on your heels.” Mr. Freedman kneeled down boy Jim, resting a hand against the one Jim had clutching at his baby bump.

 

“Frank.” Jim looked at Mr. Freedman, his pupils constricted with his fear. “Frank was waiting outside the doctor’s office.”

 

Mr. Freedman cursed and looked over to Margaret. “Can you call Jim’s brother for me, his comm. number should be on the green stickie on my desk.”

 

Margaret nodded, gave Jim a worried smile and headed to the back to call Sam. Mr. Freedman waited until Margaret was out of the room before turning back to Jim. “Are you going to be alright? He didn’t touch you, did he?”

 

Jim looked away, back to the door. There was no sign of Frank anywhere outside. “He didn’t touch me.” Jim licked his lips. “He just watched me with this…this terrible grin.” Jim gave another violent shiver. He wasn’t used to this. It had been years since he had last been this weak, this vulnerable. It was the hormones he told himself, that was all. Just the hormones.

 

“Sam will be here soon and then he will take you back to the farm.” Mr. Freedman looked up and out the glass door as they heard a car pull into the parking lot. “Speak of the Devil.”

 

Sam ran into the room almost as fast as Jim had. His feet hit the carpet and he nearly crashed into the counter of the reception desk in his rush to get to Jim. “You’re okay? If he touched you I swear to God, Jim, I will kill the mother fucker!”

 

“Calm down, Sam.” Mr. Freedman patted Jim’s knee and stood. “Jim wasn’t hurt.”

 

“Fuck that! That man shouldn’t even be in the same fucking country as Jim!”

 

“Sam, he didn’t hurt Jim.” When Sam went to say something, Mr. Freedman raised a hand. “That doesn’t mean we won’t do everything in our power to protect and support him.” He looked back to Jim, his eyes projecting strength. “You won’t be leaving that farm house without either Sam or myself with you. Not until we are certain Frank is one.”

 

Jim nodded and let Sam help him up from the chair. “Let’s go back to the farm. You can sit on the couch in the library with a good book and a lap full of puppies.”

 

“Puppies?”

 

Sam smiled at his brother and quickly placed a kiss to his forehead as he had when Jim was fast asleep as a child, before things had gone downhill.  “Kalilia had her puppies about half an hour after you left. There are three little males and one little female, all in good shape.”

 

“Yeah. Okay.” Jim nodded, a bit of calmness slowly rising up from somewhere deep inside.

 

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

 

Day 117; 10:05 am, Kirk Farm House

 

That night Jim curled up in his bed that he had shared with Spock and tried to imagine his Vulcan was there with him, curled protectively around Jim. Sam and Aurelan where sleeping downstairs in the guest room and Mr. Freedman had decided to move up to Jim’s Mother’s room. Aurelan had cornered him upon their arrival back at the farm and had spent nearly two four hours talking about how they should redecorate his bedroom as a nursery and then when Jim was ready they could redo the Master bedroom as his. Jim had tried to say he didn’t want that room, that he was content to stay in his room with the baby, but Aurelan had been persistent. Jim had even countered saying that she and Sam should have the master so that they could put their baby there since their little boy was due months before Jim’s child. But Aurelan wasn’t having any of it. She insisted that the house was Jim’s and that as such he should have the upper rooms, insisted that Sam and her were going to find their own place. Jim would never say it but he had been a little sad at that. He and Sam still had some rough spots they were working through but things were actually starting to go right for once.

 

Jim sighed and rolled over, lifting his PADD above his him. A small smiled slide across his face as he looked at the picture of Spock, nude, aroused and glorious. Looking at Spock here, at the emotion burning brightly in his eyes Jim couldn’t doubt him, couldn’t conceive of Spock turning his back on him and their child, even though Jim had never actually stated outright that he wasn’t always a girl. His lust and the love that seemed to manifest nearly overnight for him were as real as anything in Jim’s life ever had been. It was crazy. Something straight out of the trashy romance novels in the library, but it was real. He had known Spock for all of three days and he had fallen in love almost from the moment they met. Something deep inside told him that he would never find anyone else that he would love as he loved Spock.

 

Jim reached up and traced a finger along Spock’s jaw line, down his neck and shoulders and into the light dusting of black hair that was growing on his chest. There wasn’t a lot of it but Jim figured the hair had begun to grow not that long ago. Spock wasn’t much older than him and he couldn’t be completely finished maturing physically. That of course led to Jim wondering what Spock look like in another five even ten years, when his body was mature. Would the hair on his chest be thicker? Would he have gotten taller? Would his shoulders be broader? His cock thicker? Longer?

 

‘Fuck.’ Jim moaned, his hips shifting as his penis began to harden. It seemed like every time he even glanced at a picture of Spock he got hard. Dr. O’Neill had told him the increase in hormones would likely caused an increased labido but it was ridiculous how often he had to hide an erection. It was even worse than when he first started puberty. He couldn’t go in the field, the barn or even his damn shower without remembering Spock and getting hard. It had caused some problems. He had nearly been walked in on while masturbating on several occasions now and it was making him more than a little paranoid.

 

It was a little weird that after all the ups and downs of today he still had the urge to rub one out. He wanted to ignore it but the turgid length of his cock was insistent, consuming all his focus away from any dangers hiding in the dark. He wanted to deny it but he had accepted long ago that he had to take what little pleasures he could in life. So he pushed all thoughts of the dangers Frank represented out of his mind and went back to focusing on the image of Spock.

 

It was a lovely shot, almost artistic in its beauty. In the picture Spock was laying on Jim’s bed in the nude, his penis a hot, hard length arching up towards his abdomen, curving slightly towards Spock’s hip. Spock’s hips were cocked onto their side towards the camera while his chest twisted and arched so that his shoulders rested against the bed, arms resting above his head. The lines of his body drew Jim’s eyes unlike anything he could find on the net or in a porno mag, but it was the look on Spock’s face that really set Jim afire. His face was resting in the frame of his arms, those dark chocolate eyes burning up from the screen and deep into Jim’s soul.

 

Jim whimpered and pulled on his cock, twisting his hand over the head, smearing precum over his glands. It wouldn’t take long before he came, it never did. Spock stripped him of all his control, all his senses. He lost himself in Spock and it seemed as if he would be happy to let his senses drown in the man who so completely owned his heart.

 

‘Jim. My Jim.’

 

Perhaps they were only a memory or perhaps it was Spock somehow reaching across the stars to him but the whisper soft sounds of Spock calling out his name with such tender affection did him in. With a sob he released himself over his hand and the swell of their child.

 

___

 

  

Translations:

ko-kugalsu – fiancée; a woman to whom a man is engaged to be married; feminine of fiancé
tekerik - deviant; markedly different from an accepted norm
lap-bah-ker - orchard; an area of land devoted to the cultivation of fruit or nut trees
tir-nuk - tree; a type of small succulent tree, like an Earth ajouga; found in the desert