More Than Life
Double Agent
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Sands didn’t want to admit it, but he was worried.
week ago. Literally.
been taken south. The microphone was
only good for a radius of twenty miles, and it hadn’t taken long for her to
move out of that range. But it had been
enough time for Sands to be content that she was with her family – or at least
a representative of it. There had been
no mention of a ‘Neva Velasquez,’ or even a ‘Neva Barillo,’ but Tess obviously
knew the woman. And while she didn’t
appear to be on the best terms with her, she did seem to expect to arrive in
safely.
If only the name of
the town they were going to had been dropped.
phone started plating a Beethoven concerto.
He wasn’t quite sure when his normal ringtone had been changed, but he
was relatively certain who had done it.
It was beyond him though, why he hadn’t changed it back yet . . . but he
told himself it was because he had better things to do with his time than play
with his cell phone.
“Sands.”
“We found her.”
Immediately the CIA
agent sat upright from where he was slouched in a chair.
few days, most of his waking hours spent trying to locate Tess and come up with
strategies in case she’d been lost. No
one would raise much of an alarm if another body was found in just another
ditch somewhere. And if that had
happened, he would have been screwed.
“Where is she?”
“
City
in range last night. We tried getting
through to you last night, but the line was busy every time we tried.”
Rather than make
excuses or be embarrassed that he’d been conducting a quiet but thorough
manhunt for the wayward mole, Sands tried to remember the name of the agent he
was talking to.
Hackshaw
“Is her radio coming in?”
“Yeah . . . nothing
but road nose and some rather inconsequential talk so far.
of what could have been an interesting catfight, but the other woman seemed to
back off at the last moment.” The other
man chuckled. “Although, I must admit
that your civilian was taking a verbal beating.
these bastards.”
He wasn’t
surprised. Tess stood up for others, not
herself. “You’ve got it backwards,”
Sands pointed out with some satisfaction.
This guy was starting to irritate him, and throwing him off balance
would be a good cure for that. “The
cousins are legit. It’s Tess that’s the
bastard.” There was silence from the
other man. “Listen,
just pipe the signal through, Hackshaw.”
There was grumbling
from the other man as the necessary connections were made, but soon Sands was
listening to the quiet sound of a car in transit.
For several minutes
there was silence, then a voice suddenly broke in.
“Where are we
going?”
Tessa’s voice was
chilly and cultured, showing mild interest and indifference at the same
time. Sands strangely found
Tess. He couldn’t see her – could only
hear her – and she’d been pissed at him.
He couldn’t remember why. Just
that he’d been amused by the tone of icy unconcern in her voice.
her behavior would know that it was an act.
But then, he hadn’t had much to do then besides unravel the puzzle of
his unwilling nurse.
************************************************************************
“Where are we going?”
Tess was tired of being left in the dark and treated as unwanted cargo –
important cargo, but cargo nonetheless.
For the past week she and her cousin had been traveling around what felt
like the entirety of
that Carlos was traveling to keep his people in line, and that she and
were playing catch-up. They’d been in
City
they were traveling in something more comfortable than a Suburban.
wonder if anyone is picking any of this up, she thought as she adjusted her
glasses. Audio was one thing, but was
anyone trying to record what the cameras in her glasses were picking up?
“It’s enough that
we’re going, ratón.
Are you going to complain about everything?”
and slightly irritated. She didn’t enjoy
Tessa’s company any more than the other woman enjoyed hers.
Tess hated the nickname. It was a
reminder of how she’d spent so many years creeping about the periphery of the
cartel, literally and metaphorically.
thought. Into a rabbit.
bigger, but still just as scared. “I
don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to ask where I’m being taken,
Her cousin glared
at her with minor irritation – Barillo’s bastard daughter didn’t merit any
stronger emotion. It was several minutes
before she answered as she looked out the window at the passing scenery of
City
meeting Carlos for lunch.”
Tess only inclined
her head in acknowledgement, knowing
it. She’d never been close to the older
woman, even when they’d lived under the same roof.
them.
A few minutes later
the limo pulled up in front of a small but exclusive café.
The Heron. All dining was al
fresco, the grounds floored in grass. A
stream ran through extravagant landscaping, twining through clusters of
forget-me-nots, poinsettia, marigolds, and poppies.
grounds was covered in Jessamine and ivy.
The birds that gave the café its name were verdigris, posed amidst the
shrubs and by quiet pools. In the pools
were koi – carefully cared for by the groundskeepers.
noisy bustle of the street, but Tess couldn’t help but let down her guard here
. . . even though she knew that was probably why this location had been picked
as the meeting place.
A waiter led the
two women to an isolated table near a small waterfall.
there for them – she barely recognized him at all.
Carlos stood as his
sisted cod cousin approached.
“Teresa. It’s been a long time.”
“Apparently, if
you’ve forgotten that I prefer to be called Tess.”
Carlos to take her hands in his, not releasing more than a blink when he
squeezed them gently in welcome. But
inside, she could feel more of her defenses lowering; it’d been a long week
without touch. She’d grown lax in the
past year, becoming accustomed to getting hugs morning and evening from small
arms, and even more spoiled by the feeling of Sands’ body against hers.
grips and indifferent pushes, she’d remembered just what it’d been like to be
under the cartel’s influence. Her
father’s influence.
Carlos tucked away
a grin at her politely defiant words.
“No, I hadn’t forgotten. I just
had no idea if you’d outgrown the old nickname . . . or if I was still on the
list of people who could use it with your approval.”
Tess took it, smoothing down her skirt as she did so.
She watched as he
preformed the same courtesy for his sister and waited for him to take his own
seat before immediately going on the offence.
“I find it strange that you were waiting for my approval to do something so commonplace
as use a nickname, especially when you see nothing wrong with nabbing me off
the street.”
“Ah, but that is
different. Tell me, Tessa,” she inwardly
winced as he used the more intimate form of her name, “would you have come if I
had simply sent you an invitation? After
so many years on the outside, would you have willingly come back?”
it. “I know what it’s like, prima.”
learn, to be engulfed in a sphere not inundated by cartel politics.
to so many others.” No, you don’t. “The
transition is rough, and I understand that you didn’t have a lot of
support. But it’s different now.
they won’t be able to intimidate you anymore.
And I promise to help you adjust.
If our family is going to survive, I’m going to need your help.”
Tess nodded.
what’s going on, I hate drugs, and I don’t support violence.
“No, Tessa.
secondary to that, and I won’t ask you to take more than a peripheral role in
that until you’re ready.” He reached
across the table and took her hand, shooting
quelling look when she snorted in disgust.
“You’ve been gone for far too long.
Familia
is a source of strength, one denied you for far too
long. It’s true that I need your help to
stabilize the politics that is the lifeblood of our family, and our family’s
family, but I ask for no more than your willing cooperation.
become.”
Tess took a deep
sigh as she looked at the hand folded around hers.
from her. The rest was screaming at her
to keep her guard up. Carlos might
sounds sincere, and might actually have some desire to get to know her.
He was still the enemy. He was
still a man who would do whatever was necessary to ensure his grip over his
territory and the people who lived in it was ironclad.
remember that it could crush her at any time.
“I don’t suppose I
have much of a choice in the matter, do I?”
Carlos looked this
unknown woman in the eye, seeing her internal conflict.
relentlessly and unreasonably. But if he
allowed this to be her choice . . . “Do
you see any men with guns here? Is the
gate locked to trap you here?” He
gestured around them. “If you wish to
leave, you are free to do so. All I
asked
talk. We’ve spoken.
family, then go, with my blessing.”
Tess felt the
ground tilting under her feet. She had a
choice?
Just because you don’t see any
men with guns –
realize that. It was a figure of speech.
Whether she liked it or not, she had to
stay. She’d made a ‘deal’ with the
government. But that Carlos was not
forcing her as well, made the pill a bit easier to swallow.
Looking down at her
lap, Tess confessed, “I-I have been thinking about . . . home . . . a lot
recently. Just wondering what would have
happened if different choices had been made on all sides.
Carlos felt a surge
of victory.
you, Tessa. Family, with no conditions.”
Tess nodded
slowly. Rarely do members of oamilamily grow up under
the same roof. Taking a
breath, she said, “F
But I make no promises not to leave later.”
Her cousin nodded
in understanding. “Are you ready to go
home?”
It didn’t matter
whether she was ready or not; she had to.
Didn’t she? “Yes.”
miniscule part of her was.
************************************************************************
Two days later and she was ‘home.’
took a deep breath, trying to force down the feelings of mild panic and
distaste that were building up inside her.
While Carlos was busy greeting the three Dobermans that ran up to him,
she looked around, making note of the men with sunglasses and rifles, the women
in black and red who were around to . . . keep the troops entertained, and the
peaceful quality to the air around her.
Everything was . . . the same.
And that’s why she was having trouble.
If this hadn’t changed, what made her think that anything else had?
changed.
“I’ve had dinner
set out for us on the verandah.”
Tess looked up from
her internal musings at the sound of Carlos’ voice.
cool, enough that dining outside might be uncomfortable, but she really wasn’t
in a position to refuse. Any hesitance
on her part would show how uncomfortable she was here, and that couldn’t be
allowed. “Sounds nice,” she murmured,
holding still as the dogs that had been greeting their master so
enthusiastically cautiously approached her.
If dogs can smell fear, can they
tell what causes it? Her fear of
this place and what it represented overrode her fear of the animals for the
moment. She’d seen what dogs could do to
people, but she didn’t really care at the moment.
Carlos watched his
pets, making sure they behaved themselves.
Tessa looked like she was ready to bolt, but she let them smell
her. Turning his gaze to his sister, he
saw the frustration and irritation on her face.
She’d never gotten along with their cousin, believing Tessa thought she
was better than the rest of them when she was merely reserved.
just as easily eat elsewhere if that’s what you wish.”
nodded her appreciation, then picked up hag aag and left, heading for the main
house. Carlos turned back to his cousin,
and offered her his arm. She looked at
it for a moment, before coming to stand by his side, a compromise between what
they both wanted.
“One of my men will
take your bags up to your room,” he said.
“I hope you don’t mind if I put you in a different one than the one you
grew up in.”
“No, that’s
perfectly alright.” Disconcerting that
he had taken into consideration how disturbing it would be to return there, but
alright.
With a teasing bow,
he said, “My pleasure, señorita.” Tess
smiled weakly, and they started walking to the back of the house.
The hacienda was
just as she remembered. The walls were a
warm burnt sienna, wrought iron railings covered over by the same ivy that
covered the outer walls. The archways
were lined in white granite, the doorways in brown granite tiles, and lamps
hung inside the outdoor hallways to light the paths at night.
by some of
finest craftsmen, were scattered around the perimeter of the inner plaza,
offering loiters a place to sit.
Broad-leafed plants stood in bulky planters, completing the picturesque
scene. It was a place that offered rest
to the weary . . . . . . a feeling totally obliterated
by the gun-wielding henchmen that were spaced ever fifty yards apart or so.
Glancing up as she
was led to the back verandah, she saw that the underside of the archways were
still painted a shockingly bright cobalt blue that
seemed at odds with the stately color of the house . . . until one considered
the overall effect that it added. This
was a house that was proud of its Mexican origins.
of twelve children who had built his fortune on the backs of others.
It was in the
spacious ground behind the sprawling residence that her father had conducted
much of his business. And when she
looked at her surroundings, she couldn’t blame him.
were fantastic marble sculptures placed at either end of the wide
verandah. From here, one could look out
over the back gardens – a series of terraced precincts, filled with plants that
would flourish best in Culíacan’s climate.
Even in winter, a vast array of flora was offered up to the eye.
the grounds, and hid the back wall from sight, were still green, and the skeins
of Spanish moss hanging from the branches conveyed a sense of grand sorrow and
the pride of decades spent sinking roots.
Of living a quiet, orderly, uninterrupted life.
But it was the
memory of what business that had been conducted here that ruined Tessa’s
appreciation for the place.
Pulling out a chair
from a small table that was placed in front of a small chimenea,
Carlos said, “I planted most of the seasonal flowers myself.”
Tess murmured
something polite – she wasn’t sure what since she really didn’t care about the
flowers – but her voice was too quiet for Carlos to hear more than an
indistinct mumble.
“Your enthusiasm
leaves something to be desired,” he drawled taking his own seat.
uniforms appeared to set plates before them.
“I’m afraid I have
little enthusiasm for anything. That was
beaten out of me long ago.” Tess spoke
bluntly because Carlos knew at least how her first few years with the family
had went, and he’d be a fool to assume that had ever changed.
reaction her words received. Carlos
reached across the table and took her hand.
What is it with this man and
touching m–
“I am not my uncle,
Tessa. He was a good leader for the
cartel, but his personal life left a lot to be desired.
he did.”
Tess glanced down
at his hand pointedly. “Yes, I can see
that. That’s why you’re married and have
three kids, right?”
Carlos laughed
softly. “Touché, prima.”
of the tamales placed in front of him, he continued.
need to whisk away for you? Perhaps the
man who gave you that?”
“Gave me what?”
Tess asked as she looked down at her chest, trying to see what he was looking
at. He nodded and her heart skipped a beat.
bought this for myself a few years back.”
“What’s inside it?”
Tess smiled wryly,
the first sign of humor she’d shown since leaving the
I haven’t found anything important enough to put inside it yet.”
“Still scared of
men, jóvenes?”
I haven’t had the best experiences with them.
combination of the two.” Resolutely, she
kept Sands out of her mind and her dream-father’s warning.
deeply out of her water glass. “des,des,
I’ve been too busy traveling to meet a lot of people.
children for the glory of
irony.
“If I can convince
the right woman to settle down with me, then yes.
though.” He gestured to their
surroundings with his fork. “This is no
place to raise children. I mean, look at
us. My sister all
empathy or sensitivity pruned out of her like a gardener pulls weeds. . .” he
trailed off.
“And you?” Tess
asked softly.
“Un
sin su corazón,
he said cryptically.
he misses it. “Throughout my
lifetime I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there.
alive,” she commented seriously. Silence
rested over them for several moments before she worked up the courage to ask,
“Y yo?”
“Un niña
nose, she said quietly, “Sleep is lovely, death is
better still, not to have been born is of course the miracle.
ready for bed.”
“Of course.
down.
“That’s
alright. I know this place rather
well. Just tell me where you’ve put me.”
“Second floor, the
room next to the infirmary. I hope you
don’t mind.”
No.
surprised. She was a doctor, and Carlos
would be foolish to not use all the tools he had at hand.
tools. “Why would I mind?” she murmured,
turning to go. But Carlos’ final words
to her made her pause.
“I am glad you’re
back home, querida.
We have much work to do, you and I, to make our family strong again.”
Biting her lip,
Tess forced her sudden sensation of guilt down and continued on, determined to get
to her room for a bit of peace and quiet.
And booster shot of her dopamine suppressant since she’d been unable to
take most of her pills for the last several days.
************************************************************************
Quotes: Richard
Bach, Blow, Heinrich Heine
Additional Info:
fic. It’s called ‘Fractured Secrets’ and
only the prologue is up yet, but I thought some of you might want to check it
out. It’s on this site, in the SW