Innocence Lost

Chapter Nine

Early one cool morning, Anne felt queasy when she woke up and decided to remain in bed for awhile. The idea of breakfast revolted her. Tavington had been gone for several days and Anne was glad not to have to detail with his attentions for a few days. And, this morning, she certainly didn't care to deal with Mrs Sizemore's disapproving glare facing her across the breakfast table.

After awhile, a knock came at the door. Anne shrugged into her robe and padded over to the door to answer.

"Are you all right, miss?" Sally stood there, ready to change the linens on Anne's bed. "You're usually up early on the days that the colonel isn't here."

"I'm rather sick to my stomach," Anne said. "My stomach has been bothering me for several days now." Stepping aside, she said, "But don't let me keep you from your work. I should get up now, anyway." As the older woman walked into the room, Anne's hands suddenly flew to her mouth and she ran to grab the chamber pot. Holding it close to her mouth, she threw up in great heaving waves.

Sally looked down at the young woman with understanding. "Miss, when was the last time you had your monthlies?"

"It's been a couple of months," she admitted as she wiped her mouth with a handkerchief."

The black woman looked at Anne closely. "I think I know what it is," she said. "You're with child."

"How could this happen?" Anne wailed

"You and the colonel spend a good deal of time in here," Sally reminded her, raising an eyebrow at the young woman's naïve attitude. "I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner."

"Are you sure about this?" Anne sat down weakly.

"Pretty sure, but time will tell."

"Please keep this to yourself for now," Anne said. "I want to tell the colonel myself."

"Of course, miss," she said. "I'm sure he'll be delighted to find out he's to become a father."

Anne wasn't so sure about that, but she kept her thoughts to herself.

After Sally had changed the bed and left, Anne stood to gaze at her reflection in the mirror. She put her hands on her stomach, but could not yet feel much difference. Yet, Sally's words had the ring of truth to her. Anne had no doubt that she was indeed pregnant. And she knew that the baby was Tavington's; she'd been with him too long for there being any chance of her carrying Gabriel's child. Moving to the window, she opened the draperies to look out at the activity outside.

Tears came to her eyes as she digested the reality of her situation. What should have been the happiest day of her life was bittersweet. Anne knew that she could never return to Gabriel now; he'd never forgive her for this. And she had no idea how Tavington would react to the news. Nevertheless she wanted this baby more than anything.

The tears began in earnest when she imagined the things she and her mother would have done together to prepare for the baby; Anne missed her more than ever at this moment.