A past that never is

After that we got out of the infirmary, they were bringing Reactor up. She’d be spending the next few days here while Maggie rebuilt her atrophied muscles. AK headed to his room and I headed to mine where I wanted to lie down before the painkillers Maggie had given me kicked in.

I woke up the next morning to a loud, but not very painful slap to my face. At the noise Roland woke with a start and pushed himself up in the bed.

“D’yo hink you coul’ eemove er ‘and ‘fore ou do ‘at?” My voice came out muffled. He quickly pulled his hand off my face.

“Damn, sorry. Are you okay?” He asked, sitting up.

“Fine. Except for the fact that in the last two days someone dickhead has tried to rape me, then used my head to bounce the butt of an EMP gun off of and then you try to smother me. All in all a good week I think.” I said sarcastically. Yes, I was a bit pissed off. Wouldn’t you be?

“I know. But he’s locked in his room now, under guard and he can’t get out. He’s not going to hurt you anymore.” Roland said. I sighed, as I sat up and hugged him from behind, laying my head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” I said. Why did I always take out my bad tampers on those I loved? I wondered.

“It’s okay, I understand.” He said. He turned his head slightly to look at me.

“Do you really think that you’re ready to start working again?” I had a feeling he wasn’t asking me about operating.

“What do you mean?”

“Be a Matrix jumper again.” He saw the look on my face; he turned around and put his hands on my shoulders.

“I know it’s not something that you like to do, and if you’re not ready to do it then that’s alright.”

“No...no, I’ll probably have to do it eventually, right?” I laughed a little shakily. He knew that I hated the Matrix, that I was afraid of it and I knew that he was only trying to help me to overcome that fear.

“How about you start as soon as we have breakfast? Two hours in the construct and then an hour in the Matrix?” He suggested.

“Yeah, okay.” I said. And we did, he came into the construct with me.

“It’s not that bad, is it?” He asked.

“It’s not the construct I have a problem with, it’s the Matrix.” Indeed there were only a few minutes before we went in there and I could feel my hands shaking slightly. We had spent the first hour in the construct sparring with weapons, now we were going at it hand to hand.

“You ready to go on yet?” He asked.

“No point in putting it of longer than I have to.” I answered. Roland looked up in the direction of the ceiling.

“AK, get us out of here.” He said. Then we were back on the Hammer, AK stood next to Rolands chair.

“Drakis is insisting that you speak to him.” AK said. I pretended I hadn’t heard, but I saw Roland glancing in my direction, then back at AK and Maggie who had just come up on deck.

“Are you okay to wait until later?” He asked me. Oh, great. Get me all freaked out about going into the Matrix and then change the plans on me. I thought.

“Actually I’d prefer to do it now. Maggie can come with me.” I looked in her direction.

“If you don’t mind that is.”

“I’m up for a little alone woman time. It’s hard to come by here.” She said. I smiled my thanks at her. She sat in one of the chairs and waited for AK to plug her in.

“I’ll be in as soon as I’m done with him.” Roland said. I didn’t get the chance to answer him as AK put us in. Maggie looked at me and grinned.

“So where will we go first?” She asked.

“Let’s see what machines think coffee taste like.” I suggested. We came out of the alleyway we were in and headed for a café at the end of the street. We went inside and sat down at one of the tables after ordering coffees. Then sat sipping them slowly, while we talked about stuff. Then something caught my eye.

“What’s that?” I pointed out the window. We could see the code of the Matrix quite clearly, Maggie stood up.

“I don’t know. We’d better get out of here.” She said. We hurried out of the café and back down to the alley where the hardline was. We were both running now, as the code seemed to be taking over the whole street behind us. Maggie tripped and I stopped to help her up and the code caught up with us. It felt like some had stuck their hand inside me and was ripping my stomach out, I screamed and somewhere in the background I could hear Maggie screaming as well.

((Second person POV))

AK stared at the screen uncomprehendingly; the code had gone all weird. He quickly dialled the number of Maggies phone to tell them to get out, but there was no dial tone.

“Shit! Captain, we’ve got a problem up here!” He said over his shoulder to Roland, who had just returned from his talk with Drakis.

“What is it, AK?” Roland asked coming over to join him. AK pointed at the screen that was now blank.

“I don’t know what the hell just happened in the-” he was interrupted by the flatline tone coming from the monitors over Maggie and Shifters chairs.

“Jesus Christ!” Roland breathed. Then the monitors came back on and Maggie and Shifter came back to life.

“What...?” AK said, half to himself. He quickly started searching from Maggie and Shifter in the Matrix.

“Found them...but something’s wrong. They’re not reading like they should.”

“I’m going in after them.” Roland said.

“That might not be a good idea, captain. I don’t know if it will happen again.” AK replied

((Shifters POV))

I woke up in a bed. I don’t know how I got here, or ever where ‘here’ is. I remember having a weird dream I had last night. About being on a ship for weeks on end, eating the same food, talking to the same people whose names were...shit! What the fuck were their names? More to the point who the hell am I? I get out of the bed and put on clothes. Even though I still don’t know who I am, some part of me tells me that I don’t like these clothes, short skirts and high heels. As well as piles of the worst looking jewellery I’ve ever seen. The underwear is another matter, I pull a thong out of a drawer and look at it with disgust, what the hell kind of person wears these things? I finally find some clothes that I don’t think I’ll puke all over, a grey tracksuit pants and a black tee shirt. Then I go in search of something that will tell me who I am. I find a purse in the kitchen and ID inside the wallet. Laura Jacobs, it says. No, I’m not. I think. I might not know who the hell I am, but that’s not my name. I stop and think back on that dream again. The people in it had called me...had called me...this wasn’t working, what were their names? The people in my dream...I closed my eyes, thinking hard. Colt, Mauser, AK and...and Roland, remember him? You love him. A little voice whispered. I could picture them now, in my head. Colt always looked serious; he was the pilot, Mauser was tall and dark; he was the engineer, I could see AK’s grinning face as he said something to me, he was the operator and Roland; my Roland, he was captain of our ship the Hammer. Wait a minute? Our ship? That’s not the dream. This is. The voice whispered again. This is the Matrix and you’re stuck here. You came here with Maggie, remember? The Matrix cycle has started again and you and Maggie were caught in the middle of it. I remember Maggie, the Hammers medic, she had red hair. But who was I? Talk to AK. The voice whispered.

“And how the fuck am I supposed to do that when he’s on the Hammer and I’m here...wherever here is?” I asked aloud to myself. You know how.

“Great, now I’m talking to myself.” I said. But how the hell was I supposed to ask AK what was happening.

((Second Person POV))

“They're both moving around, captain.” AK said, his eyes glued to the screen.

“Ring them.” Roland ordered.

“Maggie, are you guys okay? I’ve got an exit ready for you.” AK said. Then he winced.

“OW!” He yanked the headset off and rubbed his ears.

“What happened?” Roland asked.

“She told me to stop being a pervert and go fuck myself. Then she slammed the phone down.” AK replied.

“Try Shifter.”

“After wha-okay I’m on it.” AK turned back to the screens and pulled his headset back on.

“This time don’t tell her anything, wait for her to speak first.” Roland said. AK nodded as he waited for Shifter to answer.

((Shifters POV))

“Hello.” I said. AK said nothing, just waited like Roland had told him to do.

“Who is this?” Another pause.

“Okay, be that way.” I snapped. I was in no mood for more mind games; I was about to hang up when that voice came back. It’s AK, talk to him, he can get you out of here.

“Fine, then if it will make you shut up.” I said aloud to myself. I put the phone back to my ear.

“I’m going to severely injure you, I’m in no mood for any of your jokes, AK.” I snapped. I could hear an almost collective sigh of relief from the other end.

“Shifter? Thank God, I have an exit ready for you.” He said.

“Shifter? If you say so.” I mumbled. The name did ring a bell, although I was unsure if it was mine.

“Wait what about Maggie? Where is she?” I asked.

“She’s still in there to. She’s in the apartment directly under you.” There was a long pause and then AK came back.

“The captain wants you out now Shifter. I’ve got an exit ready on the ground floor in the foyer.”

“Okay, AK, I’ll be right there.” I said. But not without Maggie, I added silently. I ran from the apartment and down the stairs, I didn’t even knock on the door I just walked right in. Maggie glanced up at my intrusion. She looked like she was about to tell me to get out, then her face seemed to change.

“I know you...Shifter?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Come on we have to get out of here.” I said. She stood up from the table and together we headed for the elevator. As it approached the ground floor I looked at her, she looked as confused as I felt. But as the seconds ticked by I seemed to remember more and more. We came out of the elevator and we could hear the phone ringing. No one was around, which was lucky, what we didn’t need was agents arriving in on top of us.

“You first.” I waved to the phone. She picked it up and pressed it to her ear. I hung it back in the cradle, when it rang again I was ready, I pressed the phone to my ear. And then I felt someone pulling the spike out of the back of my head. I sat up and looked across at Maggie, then at Roland who was standing over me.

“What the hell happened in there?” I asked.

“The Matrix started its cycle again. Everyone inside was given new or updated memories; you two got caught by it. The Matrix tried to reprogram you as well, but as you’re not plugged in it didn’t go the way it was supposed to.” AK replied I rolled my eyes.

“Life on this ship is just one big roller-coaster ride, isn’t it?” I asked.

“You get used to it.” AK grinned.