A Vacation ... Where?

Danielle paused in the middle of washing her hair and sniffed. Her eyes widened in horror and she snatched a towel, jumped out of the shower, and ran down the stairs.

“What’s on fire?” she yelled, trailing water and shampoo. She came to a shocked halt as she neared the kitchen. Thick smoke was billowing out of the doorway and she heard something sizzling on the stove. Waving the smoke away from her eyes, she carefully walked into the kitchen.

Anakin was frantically waving a small cookbook over a skillet of … something. He waved a distracted hand at the faucet and shoved the pan under the resultant cold running stream.

Danielle was smothering a laugh when she saw the other pot on the back burner boil over. Whatever was in there hissed as it hit the heated coils, started to smoke, and abruptly caught fire. “Um … Anakin?”

“Don’t even say it,” he growled as he scrubbed at the blackened skillet.

“The stove’s on fire,” she replied.

He whipped around to look at the stove, slinging water from the wet pan everywhere. He swore in some unrecognizable language, hurled the skillet back into the sink, and lunged for the pot. Yanking it off the burner, he dumped the contents into the sink, and threw water from the skillet onto the burner.

“Final score,” Danielle said in a phony announcer voice, “Kitchen 1, Anakin 0.”

He glared at her. “Very funny.”

She surveyed the scene – smoking stove, sink full of unrecognizable sauce-type stuff, Anakin with a dripping skillet and hair sticking out every which way – and burst into uncontrollable laughter. He scowled as she leaned against the counter, tears rolling down her face.

“It’s really not that funny,” he muttered, which only made her laugh harder.

“All this for a movie?” she finally managed to gasp. “What were you trying to make?”

He took a seat on a nearby barstool. “Well, I was looking through the cookbooks, and found a recipe for blackened tuna. We didn’t have all the stuff for that, so I decided I’d use the Tuna Helper we had, and try to improvise. I was blackening the tuna in the skillet, and making the sauce in the pot, and ….” He trailed off, dropping his head onto the counter.

She bit her lip, trying not to laugh outright again. “So … you were making blackened Tuna Helper.”

“That was the idea.”

“All to watch another movie.”

“Well, breakfast went well,” he said morosely, “so I thought lunch would, too.”

“I see,” she said sagely. “Your overconfidence was your weakness.”

He looked at her questioningly.

“Never mind. Inside joke,” she said hurriedly. “Tell you what. You make some sandwiches – some really good ones, none of this PB and J type stuff – and we’ll go watch one more.”

He grinned. “Really?”

“Yeah. You at least tried,” she said with a smile.

In short order, two saucers floated to the breakfast bar. Next came bread, condiments, and a wide variety of lunchmeats.

“Mayonnaise and mustard, please,” she said.

Anakin threw together triple-decker turkey-ham-roast beef sandwiches, and carried the saucers while Danielle grabbed sodas. When they reached the theater, he levitated two tray tables to them and set everything down on the couch, snagging the remote as he sat down.

“You don’t look very enthused,” he observed.
“I’m just thinking this isn’t the best idea, Anakin.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” she replied, “this is where you meet your future wife. Remember how well the two of you ended up getting along? You really want to walk down this particular Memory Lane?”

He waved it off. “It won’t be that bad.”

Danielle shrugged. “If you say so,” she muttered.

He flashed her a reassuring grin as he pushed play. “Come on, how bad can it be?”

/3:35/ - “Sweet, an explosion three minutes into the movie,” Anakin exclaimed. He looked at his soda, and then at the back of the box. “You know, maybe I will have one of those Bacardi O3’s.” A six-pack floated to his feet, and he grabbed a bottle and twisted the top off.

/5:07/ - “’The Dark Side clouds everything,’” he mimicked. “No kidding, especially since you all are in the same room with him and have no idea!” he shouted at the screen.

Danielle tapped her chin. “Well … neither did you, Anakin.”

“Shut up.”

She stifled a smile.

/6:40/ - He pursed his lips and stared at the screen for a moment. “’An old friend like … Master Kenobi,’” he repeated. “I know there was no way they were doing anything then. So … I’m not going to be mad about it.”

/7:39/ - Anakin looked confused. “Wait, why am I all panicked about seeing her again?”

“Because in this movie, you’ve thought about no one but her for the last decade.”

“I what?” He snorted. “Well, obviously someone was confused when they wrote this.”

/8:23/ - Danielle noticed he looked pissed. “What’s wrong?”

“I _hated_ that nickname!” he exploded. “’Ani’. Ugh.” He rolled his eyes, then shot a glance at the screen. “’So have you … grown more beautiful.’” Anakin shook his head. “I was _never_ that much of a dork.”

She snickered.

/9:11/ He grinned. “I loved being insubordinate with Obi-Wan. Poor guy never knew how to handle it. It was usually accompanied by a little more of a panicked look, though,” he said with a laugh.

/11:09/ - “So, did you really spy on her?” Danielle asked.

Anakin looked rather shamefaced for all of a second. “Yeah. She was kinda pissed about it.”

“How’d she find out?”

He rolled his eyes. “Obi-Wan apologized, naturally.”

/11:37/ - He grimaced. “I hated that poofy haircut. Really, really hated it.”

Danielle hid a smile. “Might one say you absolutely hated it?”

He nodded emphatically. “Definitely.” He looked at her. “What’s so funny?”

She shook her head. “Nothing; don’t worry about it.”

/12:12/ - He finished the Bacardi and tossed the bottle at the trashcan in the corner of the room. “Obi-Wan had _no idea_ what I was going through with the visions about my mother, and I hated that he tried to pretend he did,” he said furiously. “Very few Jedi have the ability to see the future, and he certainly wasn’t one of those few.”

“Oh?”

“It was one of the abilities he _didn’t_ have. Not to mention that he was taken from his family when he was younger, and so didn’t understand the emotional bond I had with my mother.” He twisted the top off another Bacardi and took a drink. “None of them did.”

/14:19/ - Anakin leaped out of his seat. “Booyah! I’m awesome!” he shouted, pumping his fist into the air. “Little slugs, feel my wrath!” He dropped back into his chair, pouting. “And then Obi-Wan has to go and upstage me. Bastard.”

/15:41/ - “I like the omniscient view these movies take,” he remarked. “I get to see things I didn’t know about before.”

“It wouldn’t be much of a movie without it,” Danielle replied.

He thought about that. “True. I still like it, though.”

/16:23/ - Anakin sniggered. “He _really_ hated it when I was sarcastic.” He grinned outright. “And Mr. Zane was highly incensed that I took his speeder. Padme and her friend Annalise – who happened to be Mr. Zane’s daughter – told me about his tirade when he found out it was gone.”

“What was he so mad for? It was the middle of the night.”

“Well,” he whispered conspiratorially, “I guess he was going to go visit his mistress, and didn’t have any way to get there. Oops.” He laughed.

/18:11/ - “That’s one thing I miss about how things are being run now,” he said. “A chase like that would never happen – guards would catch you first and wonder what you were up to, driving like that.”

/19:15/ - Anakin nearly fell out of his seat laughing. “He was _so_ pissed when I jumped out of that speeder! They made him look all nonchalant here, but I could hear him yelling almost three traffic lanes down. Not a happy Jedi Knight, I can tell you that.”

/21:59/ - “This weapon is your blah-blah-blah-I’m-reciting-things-that-have-been-drummed-into-me-without-thinking-about-it,” he recited in a monotone. Danielle snickered.

/22:06/ - “Damn right I’m going to be the death of you,” he snarked. “Hey, why’d they put that line in there?”

Danielle fidgeted. “Um, foreshadowing.”

He grinned. “No way! They have the right ending in here?”

She beckoned to the screen. “Just watch, Anakin.”

/23:55/ – “’Jedi business. Go back to your drinks.’” He snorted. “Lame. Why didn’t I just make them forget? It’s not like I couldn’t do that.” He nodded thoughtfully. “But this has been pretty close so far, except for this whole thing with me pining after Padme for ten years. A decade? Please.”

/25:21/ – Anakin blinked in surprise. “Holy shit, Mace is trusting me to do something? You can definitely tell this is fiction.” He grimaced. “I got a three hour lecture before I was allowed to escort her to Naboo.” He rolled his eyes and added, “then again, I got a three-hour lecture before I went to the cafeteria, so a lecture from Mace wasn’t exactly a noteworthy location.”

She snickered. “Gee, I can see you two got along well.”

“He hated me,” he said vehemently, “and he made it perfectly clear to me every time we talked.” He crossed his arms and sat back in his chair. “It’s not something I’m overly fond of talking about.”

“Understandable.”

/26:02/ – “I could have taken Sidious down right there,” he muttered furiously. “But … I didn’t know it was him.”

“Would you really have taken him out if you’d known?” she asked skeptically.

He paused for a long moment. “I don’t think so. Not there. Not before I got what I could out of him.”

“And what were you hoping to get out of Palpatine?”

He shrugged. “Recognition. Freedom. Power. I didn’t really know, but if you know someone that high up, you tend to hang onto that friendship, you know?”

/26:49/ – Anakin scowled. “Nice to know that Obi-Wan totally doubted me. Thanks, Master.” He shook his head. “And here all this time I thought it was just Mace and Yoda.” He finished off the bottle in his hand and popped the top on another.

/27:28/ - Danielle heard him snort, then snicker. She turned to look at him as he burst into laughter. “What is so funny?”

He wiped at his eyes. “She has bat-ear hair! There is no way Padme would have gone out in public like that.” He stopped. “Well … maybe. She wore some messed-up stuff when she was queen.” He chuckled again and took a swig of his Barcardi.

/28:12/ – “’You’ve grown up,’” he mimicked. “Aww, isn’t that just sweet.” There was a quick pause. “Bitch,” he muttered under his breath.

/28:32/ – Anakin turned to her. “Okay, am I this whiny arrogant dork all the way through this movie? Because this is just going to get on my nerves, and I don’t want me to be the second candidate for ‘one character muting.’

She grinned but didn’t say anything.

He sighed. “Oh, it’s getting worse …. “

/30:11/ – “Who put the bronze dinner plate … bowl … stupid metal thing on her head?” he laughed.

Danielle stared at him in exasperation. “Anakin, are you going to snark on Padme all the way through this movie?”

“Hey, Obi-Wan’s fair game, too,” he replied.

“Pass me a Bacardi,” she said. “I think I’m going to need one.”

/31:05/ – A small smile quirked the side of his mouth. “I did like making her laugh.” Anakin shot a sideways glance at Danielle. “There, you happy? I said something nice.”

“You’re my hero, Anakin,” she said, rolling her eyes.

/34:33/ – “Jocasta Nu didn’t like me. At all.”

She looked at him curiously. “What’d you do?”

Anakin actually blushed … barely. “Well, there was this one really cute padawan, when I was a padawan, and she and I were down in the library at the same time, and … well, Madame Nu caught us kissing. She didn’t tell our masters, but I got a tongue-lashing I’ll never forget.”

“Somehow, I’m not surprised,” Danielle grinned.

/35:46/ – Anakin threw up his hands. “Okay, now I’ve passed Dorktown and have crossed into the Land of Lame. Didn’t anyone check what I was saying to see if it sounded goofy?” He rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised Padme didn’t choke on her soup listening to that.”

A slow smirk spread across her face. “So … so you actually said that stuff?”

“No!” he replied much too quickly. “I meant, the actress playing Padme.”

She didn’t even say anything; just stared at him trying not to laugh.

Anakin flopped back on the couch. “Shut up.”

/37:00/ – He gestured toward the screen. “See why I couldn’t do anything to the younglings? They are so cute. And they were so much more open-minded than their teachers, despite all the masters’ best efforts.” He took a drink and started watching the movie again, not noticing Danielle’s rather concerned look.

/41:24/ - He tapped the side of his bottle absently. “I wonder if Kamino really looks like that.”

“You’ve never been there?” she asked.

“No, I’ve never had the opportunity to go. Someone else always went for me.”

“I see.”

“Those Kaminoans are fantastic-looking! I’m definitely going to make that a priority when I get back.”

Danielle briefly debated throwing her half-full bottle at him, then set it down with a sigh. “It’s not like he’s doing it on purpose,” she mumbled to herself.

“What was that?” he asked, turning toward her.

“Oh, nothing,” she replied, pasting on a smile. “Watch the movie, or you’re going to miss something.”

Anakin scrutinized her for a moment, then turned back to the movie.

/43:25/ – “My army,” he said reverently. “I have never met a more loyal group of men in my life. It doesn’t matter that they all came from the genes of one man – their skill and valor are unmatched.”

/44:21/ – He stuck his tongue out at the screen. “’No, Anakin, we can’t do anything, but I’m going to wear no-backed dresses, and look at you longingly, and basically lead you on like a fool,’” he said in a falsetto voice. “Thanks a lot, Padme,” he muttered.

“I seem to remember telling you that you wouldn’t like watching this movie.”

“I know… but I want to see it. Well,” he corrected, “most of it, anyway.”

/48:04/ - “The meadow. I’ve had this blocked out of my mind for some time now. I don’t know if there’s a time where I’ve been so happy and so miserable at the same time. It’s simultaneously a time that I wish had never happened, and one that I wish I’d never had to forget.” He took a deep drink from his Bacardi and watched for a moment. “I … wow, Obi-Wan’s pretty laid back talking to Jango. Impressive.”

“You sound surprised.”

“It was rare,” he answered. “It’s interesting seeing him interact with someone like that. When it wasn’t something near and dear to him, Obi-Wan was a master negotiator, no doubt about that.” Anakin paused. “Unfortunately, I always seemed to be threatening things near and dear to him.”

/54:07/ – “Oh, no,” he said in a horrified whisper while covering his eyes. “Not this scene. Anything but this.”

She looked at him. “What?”

He peeked out from between two fingers. “This horrendous whining, pleading, begging scene.” He sat up suddenly and pointed accusingly at the screen. “Not to mention that Ms. ‘We Can’t Be Together’ wore the most provocative outfit I’ve ever seen that night – talk about double signals!” He groaned and slumped back in his seat, putting his hand back over his eyes. “Of all the scenes he had to get completely right, why did it have to be the one where I act like an absolute fool?”

Danielle snickered. “You mean that this actually happened this way?”

He nodded slowly.

“I don’t even have anything to say,” she laughed. “That’s great.”

/1:00:40/ – “Then all of a sudden, Little Miss Obey-The-Rules decides to go with me to Tatooine. I was grateful at the time – I needed the company.” He shook his head. “But now? I’m not so sure. Perhaps I would have been better off if we’d left it as she said.”

“But you wouldn’t be who you are today, Anakin.”

He shrugged. “Most of the time I don’t like who I am, anyway.”

/1:1:55/ – Anakin snatched up the notebook and pen, leaving his Bacardi hovering in mid-air. “Obi-Wan lost it again – Jango yanked on him and his lightsaber went flying. That’s two. I don’t even care if he gets it back – that’s two,” he gloated.

Danielle shook her head. “Good to see this isn’t a personal vendetta of any kind,” she chuckled.

He snorted. “Please. You know how often I had to hear the lightsaber lecture?” Taking a swig of his drink, he continued, “Obi-Wan could pull off some awesome stuff … I don’t understand why he kept his talent hidden.” He trailed off for a moment as he watched the fight. “He never told me much about his fight with Jango, either – just that they’d tangled a little bit and that was it. No word about any of this cool stuff he did that they show here.”

“Maybe he didn’t want to brag,” she said. “I thought Jedi were supposed to be humble.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “That might be it. He still should have told me, though.”

/1:04:16/ – “Okay, Mos Espa still looks _way_ too clean. There’s no way that town was ever that clean.”

/1:04:53/ – A nostalgic smile crossed Anakin’s face. “Watto really was an okay guy. He did what he could to take care of us. And he made sure that Mother married someone that would see she was cared for. He never said outright, but her leaving really depressed him.”

Danielle raised an eyebrow. “It what?”

He nodded. “We talked longer than this movie shows, while he was finding out where my mother lived. He still had holos of me winning the podrace, even though he’d lost a lot of money on it, and a holo of my mother and me.” His eyes stayed fixed on the screen. “He didn’t own many slaves – we were his last ones. Once we were gone, he had to keep the shop running by himself. He did an alright job – repeat customers and the like – but he was never happy that both my mother and I ended up leaving him alone.”

“That’s sort of understandable; life out there certainly didn’t look easier. Having you and your mother there would have at least eased the loneliness,” she said.

“In a way, I really felt sorry for him – I understand what it’s like not to have friends. I heard that he ran afoul of the Hutts, and that was the end of Watto. An ignoble end for a decent being.” Anakin drained the last swallows out of the bottle and tossed it into the trash.

/1:11:53/ – “It was so great seeing 3PO again when we got to the Lars farm,” he said as he opened his next bottle. “But you know, Owen and I never got along. He always thought I should have stayed on Tatooine instead of chasing after the stars.” Anakin’s brow furrowed. “He didn’t know how badly I’d wanted to stay with my mother … and I realized that I would never be able to tell him, and that we would be brothers in name only.”

/1:14:43/ – “I can still feel the hatred I felt as I boarded that swoop bike that late afternoon. It wasn’t even like a fire – it was an icy, fathomless chasm,” he said in a low voice. “Even now as I think about it, it feels like the bottom is dropping out of my soul, even though I know that there is nothing I can do about it.”

“A lot of memories are painful,” Danielle said. “Too often, those are the ones we remember with the most clarity.”

He nodded. “I heard that the Tuskens avoid the site of the massacre, believing it’s haunted. I … it was my first taste of what it’s like, to wield power over someone and watch them cower in fear of you.”

She shook her head. “I can’t say that I know much about that.”

“I know. And you’re better off for it, I think.”

/1:18:06/ - He fell silent as the scene with his mother played itself out on the screen. As his lightsaber onscreen slashed through the tent side, the Bacardi bottle in his hand shattered. She scooted over next to him and set her hand on his arm.

“Anakin?”

He looked down, then at her, then back at the screen.

“I … I remember hearing Qui-Gon when I began my massacre … but I didn’t care. Everything else – judgment, morals, common sense – had been obliterated as she died in my arms,” he whispered. He paused for a moment, and then the words came out in a torrent. “I didn’t care that I’d slaughtered women and children. I didn’t care that most of them were unarmed. All I cared about was myself, and my loss. It wasn’t even about my mother – she would never have wanted me to do something like that. She would have done everything in her power to stop me. But I did it anyway. And … and I liked it when I did it. It bothered me later … but I liked it at the time. And maybe it just bothered me because of what I’d always been told was right and wrong.”

Danielle wrapped her arm around his. “I’m sorry this is bringing back so many painful memories.”

“I asked to see it,” he said matter-of-factly.

/1:24:46/ – “I was such a whiny bitch in this movie.” He turned to look at her. “Why didn’t anyone smack me upside the head?”

/1:26:06/ – “’To be angry is to be human,’” he parroted. “Right. Because since I was mad, it was okay for me to do that.” He shook his head. “Padme, of all people, should have said something to me. She, who was always cared about all creatures … didn’t care about those Tuskens. Because I didn’t.”

“So she didn’t tell you that what you did was a major fuck-up?” Danielle asked.

“No,” he replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, we were sort of hoping that it was just George Lucas’s crappy writing, and that maybe she’d beat some sense into you.”

He snorted. “Right. By that time she couldn’t figure out if she should push me away or keep leading me on, so she went the middle route and just agreed with everything I did.” A scowl crossed his face. “And Palpatine kept my secret, and used it against me every chance he got.” Anakin looked down at the wet carpet and the shattered glass he was holding. “I need another Bacardi. And I’ll get a towel for the floor.” One came floating out of the bar, and he dropped it on the floor over the wet carpet.

/1:29:26/ – “For the record,” he said, “I’d like to point out that going to Geonosis really was her idea.” Anakin shook his head. “She had such strength of character sometimes … which is why I was so mystified every time she seemed to lose it.”

/1:31:24/ – “I think Dooku might have been wrongly vilified.”

“You what?”

Anakin nodded. “Yes, he sided with Sidious and aligned himself with the Dark Side. But he saw before anyone how the Jedi had lost their way, and paid the price. You know that he was Master Yoda’s student. And Qui-Gon was indeed his padawan. Perhaps that is why the Council never fully trusted Qui-Gon.” He chuckled. “I find it amusing how Dooku tells Obi-Wan the truth, but Obi-Wan is unable to believe that they have been so completely fooled. It fully illustrated what was wrong with the Order. They refused to believe that they could ever be wrong.”

/1:34:38/ – “’Lay power down,’” he repeated. “I can’t believe that no one saw through this.”

She looked at him.

“Including myself,” he sighed. “The man had been amassing power for years, and people really thought he was going to lay said emergency powers down once he had what he really wanted – the entire Republic.”

/1:37:58/ – “Ahh. Geonosis. What a fun place,” Anakin said. “And poor 3PO. It’s already looking bad for him.”

Danielle laughed. “That’s the peril of being the comic relief.”

/1:42:20/ – He picked up the pen and notebook. “Damn. One for me. I forgot about my lightsaber getting hacked in half on Geonosis.”

She grinned.

“What’s so funny?”

“Well, I always liked the way that Hayden Christensen did that line, and I can totally see you saying it the same way.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He put a hash mark under his name. “Obi-Wan’s still in the lead, though.”

/1:43:14/ – Anakin choked on his drink. “Oh, _no_ way. It did _not_ happen like that! ‘I truly … deeply … pause for effect … love you.’ Who wrote this drivel?”

“That would be George Lucas,” Danielle said. “Are you sure it didn’t happen that way? I mean, the last time you made fun of the dialogue, it was something you actually-“

“Riiight,” he interjected. “We didn’t have enough time for that. She leaned over, kissed me hard, and said, ‘I changed my mind.’ That’s it.”

/1:45:38/ – “Holy crap, that time I spent in the arena was scary as hell. But Padme was pretty resourceful.” Anakin paused. “Okay, I don’t like this movie – it’s much easier to hate her without thinking about all the times I admired her for something. Can we skip to another movie?”

“No. You wanted to watch them.”

“You owe me,” he said.

“Hey, this was your idea. ‘Actions have consequences,’ remember?”

He pouted. “Not fair.”

“Nope.”

Anakin pointed at the screen. “Wait. Why’d she lose half her shirt? That didn’t happen!”

She sighed. “For the fanboys, Anakin.”

“The what?”

“I’ll explain later. Just watch.”

/1:48:11/ – “That is complete and utter falsity,” he said, jumping up. “That beast hated my guts. Animals have never liked me. I don’t know how they have me doing this “tame the wild beast” thing … but that NEVER happened.”

“Really?”

“The damned thing only did what I said because I had a chain in its mouth. I was good with machines – creatures hated me.”

/1:50:50/ – “Look,” Anakin said in a voice full of false adoration. “Here’s Mace Windu, the Jedi too chickenshit to finish off Dooku when he had the chance.” He scowled. “I’m still happy I helped get him killed.”

/1:51:04/ – “You know, the battle on Geonosis was truly a wonder to behold. It was fantastic to watch that many Masters in action.” Anakin paused. “We lost so many that day, needlessly. All because of the stupid war. I watched a lot of the only family I had fall at the hands of many droids, and Jango’s blaster bolts.”

/1:53:24/ – Anakin drained his bottle and levitated another six-pack to the couch. “Poor Boba saw his father die. Even though Jango was on the side of the Separatists … no one should have to watch their father be decapitated.” He twisted the top off a new bottle and threw it into the trash. “It was hard enough for me finding my mother in the condition she was in … I can’t imagine how I would have felt if I’d watched her be struck down in front of me.” He gazed at the screen. “Wonder whatever happened to Boba. I haven’t heard anything about him since then. He’d be … 17 or 18 now, I think.” Anakin turned to look at her. “What happens to Boba Fett, or don’t the movies tell you?”

“Well, he’s in there a little bit.”

“Sweet! Don’t tell me; I want to be surprised.”

/1:56:30/ – “And here come my boys!” Anakin hollered as he jumped to his feet. “Men unafraid to risk their lives for those they served, and for the Republic that they were created to serve. I don’t know if I have greater respect for any group of beings.” Danielle just watched him as he continued. “Even though many of them knew they were created as cannon fodder, they didn’t let that hinder them from doing their job well. I’ve never had respect for those who directed the battle from afar – those fighting the battle are the ones that deserve the accolades.”

“Not to bring up a touchy subject, but what about Order 66?”

Anakin deliberated. “That was … unfortunate, and should never have been issued. But they were a breed of men created to follow orders, and that one was issued before I could stop it. While I am working to create peace … I cannot imagine a life without war. There is always conflict fomenting somewhere, and will always be threatening what I have created.”

She nodded. “That’s the nature of life, Anakin.”

“Even though I am doing what I can to rule fairly … well, for the most part, there are those who will disagree with me, and take their disagreement to violent ends. I could not ask for a better group of men to help me fight for peace. While Sidious wanted to rule the troops through fear, I recognized the importance of showing them that you are unafraid to fight alongside them.”

“That’s true. Troops have to know that their leader isn’t going to stand back and let them do all the work; you can’t lead from the rear.”

“See, you get it!”

“Well,” she drawled, “I was in the military for four years. I’m sure that helped.”

He tapped his nose in the classic “you’ve got it” gesture. “Good point. And Sidious, for all his power, had no concept of being able to fight for what you wanted. He could scheme and manipulate for it … but that was it. Anything more than that that was beyond his ken.”

/2:04:11/ – “Leaving her there was the hardest thing I could remember having to do up to that point. I didn’t want to abandon her to the Geonosian desert, but couldn’t stop to ensure she was going to survive.” Taking a long drink, he added, “And for the record, that Force lightning really sucks when you’re on the receiving end. Going through power couplings has nothing on that.”

/2:05:40/ – Anakin scowled. “Nothing like being mostly unconscious through one of your master’s best fights. Well, until Dooku smacked him. And wielding two lightsabers was great!” He mimicked swinging two around. “I thought about adopting the style as my own, but since making one – well, making one properly - is such pain in the ass, I thought sticking with just one was simpler.”

/2:07:31/ – “I still can’t believe that asshole cut my arm off,” he said. “I look at this arm,” he held it out and flexed it, “every day … and I still can’t believe he cut it off.”

/2:09:11/ – Anakin cheered. “Woohoo! Yoda the gunslinger! Grabbing his lightsaber with the Force was a nice touch!”

“That was a big hit with audiences,” Danielle said.

“I never liked the Ataro style of fighting much – too much jumping around for my taste – but I will concede that Yoda was a master of it.” He sighed. “And of course I was unconscious for that fight, too.”

/2:11:17/ – He paused the movie. “I know she didn’t hug me right in front of Obi-Wan … we were keeping it a secret, remember? Who wrote that in there? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Shh, you weren’t supposed to notice that. Now start the damn movie back up.”

“Okay, but-“

“No buts. Just let it go,” she said.

/2:12:49/ – “It’s amazing how much time and effort Sidious put into taking over the Republic. And his rule was less than a day long.”

/2:13:55/ – “Ohhh, wow. Oh. My. Look at all those clones,” he said reverently. “And it’s my song! Wait – how is it my song if I’m not there?”

“It’s … well, it’s both your song, and the Empire’s song. But since you represent the Empire, it’s more well-known as your theme.”

“Ah. Well, either way – that is the most impressive shot in the movie. The ships … the clones … the music. Wow.”

/2:14:49/ – “And here, folks,” he said, beckoning at the screen with his Bacardi bottle, “we have the worst mistake I think I made. I let her talk me into marriage.”

“So why’d you do it, then?”

He rolled his eyes. “She wasn’t happy unless it was ‘legitimate’ … ignoring the fact that no one could know about it. But at least her family liked me. That was a plus.” As the credits rolled, he scrubbed half-heartedly at the carpet. “I guess it wasn’t too bad.”

“What, the marriage?”

“No, the movie. It got some stuff wrong, but overall was pretty close.”

“Well, that’s good,” she said.

“I hope the next one’s like that.”

“Ahh, well … guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” she said.

“You mean, you’re going to make me cook again?”

She shrugged. “Hey, I said a meal per movie, and you agreed.”

“This is _so_ unfair.”