But *WHY* Is All The Rum Gone?!

Title: But *WHY* Is All The Rum Gone?! (1/1)
Category: Pirates of the Carribean
Rating: PG-13
Warning: spanking
Co-written by tiaoconnell and nadriede_cede
Disclaimner: We don't own this stuff at all. Just playing in the universe.

But *WHY* Is All The Rum Gone?!

Captain Jack Sparrow had been returned to his ship, having escaped with some help (not that he'd admit it!!) from Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. Apparently, Will had come to terms with his pirate blood!

The young couple, Will and Elizabeth, were still kissing, after her father walked away, leaving them together, shaking his head.

After several moments of sweet shared kisses, Will pulled back slightly. "Elizabeth?" he asked in that soft voice of his. "What did Jack mean when he said it would have never worked out between you two?"

Blushing quite a bit, Elizabeth sighed. "That's a rather long story....." His interest definitely peaked, a dark eyebrow was raised. "Elizabeth, I think we have plenty of time."

"Fine, but no laughing!!" he was ordered sternly. Nodding, he waited quietly while his love began the story.......

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Jack, after witnessing the burning of the precious rum, had headed off, when a thought struck him. Bloody girl, didn't she know how *important* rum was? That could keep them alive for ages!! Gotta have drink to live, right? What was going on in that female head of hers?

Meanwhile Elizabeth was throwing the last of the rum into the fire, when Jack stalked towards her. "I already told you why the rum is gone Jack, get over it!"

"Oh I'll get over it, luv." He said, grinning. "I'll get over it once I wallop yer arse. Savvy?" Before she could respond her grabbed her wrist and dragged her over to a tree trunk that was lying on the beach.

"Bloody silly woman." He muttered as he walked, ignoring Elizabeth's shouts. "Burn my bloody rum, huh? Well then I'll burn your bloody rump!"

"What do you think you are doing? Are you drunk still? Unhand me, I'll have Will kill you if you touch me!!" Elizabeth shrieked, having no clue at all what he meant.

She tried desperately to pull out of his grasp, but the annoying pirate was too strong--she really should have remembered that from that whole 'let's use the governor's daughter to escape' episode.

Jack stopped and turned to face her. "Young William is away on MY bloody ship, and is about to become a sacrifice to cursed pirates who will soon be uncursed so they can terroiz the Caribbean again! So there for missy, I don't think dear William will be doing any killing real soon!"

"But! He will be doing some dying, just like he promised." He leaned close to Elizabeth and winked, then started off the tree trunk once again.

Letting out a growl of frustration, Elizabeth gave Jack the hardest look she could come up with. "You just wait one minute Jack Sparrow! I am *not* one of those horrid women that Will told me about on Tortuga! I am a lady and a governor's daughter, and you will not touch my arse nor any other part of my body, understood?" With that, she cracked him hard across the face.

Jack froze for a moment, then turned to grin at her. "You know, I didn't deserve that." He said. "But you deserve this!" He grabbed her and delivered a hard smack to her bottom, then scooped her up and slung her over his shoulder, grinning like a drunk idiot---which for once, he wasn't!!

"Owwwwwww!" Elizabeth howled. "Jack you are a horrible man, and I'll have you hanged if it's the last thing I do unless you let me down this instant!!" She began to beat on his back with her fists. She would have kicked her legs and attempted to smack his head with them, but he was holding them tight to his chest; he must have anticapated that move. Which meant he had done this before!!

Jack laughed loudly, swaying just slightly. "If I get off this bloody island luv, I'm gonna swing anyway. Budon\don't get off this bloody island, I'll still be dead, so I may as well have some fun and deliver a much needed walloping."

He reached the tree trunk and sat down, depositing Elizabeth across his lap. "Savvy?" He asked, quite enjoying himself.

"No!! That is NOT SAVVY!" she shrieked, kicking and squirming for all she was worth. "You are despicible! I am GLAD I burnt your stupid rum! You don't need it to become vile, you just ARE!" Elizabeth shot back, all hot and bothered with anger.

"I thank thee for the compliment, dear Elizabeth." He drawled, and then he brought his down upon her squirming bottom. Hard.

Elizabeth gasped, then screamed. "NOOOOOOOOO! Jack stop this please! This isn't funny!! Let me go!" Had there been anyone but them on the idea, they would have sworn the spoiled Governor's daughter was being murdered.

"Funny? Was it supposed to be funny? The last I heard this sort of thing wasn't supposed to be funny at all. Things have changed, perhaps?" Before she could answer he popped her five times, harder.

"That HURTS! Jack stop! Please!! Why are you hitting me? It HURTS OWW OWW!"

"Why am I hitting you?! You burnt my bloody rum, that's why! Never mess with a man's rum! Bloody hell! All that rum! Bloody woman!!" "But I told you why!! ANd now we will be rescued and we can OWWWWWWWWWWWWW save Will OUCH OWWY OWW! Jack stooooop!" she wailed, beating on his leg with her fists.

"And how do you think we're going to do that?" He asked, his hand flying without a pause. As he spanked her he wondered if this was the first spanking of her life.

"I don't know, but we must save him!" she began to shudder and moan with each spank from his calloused pirate hand. "Please Jack, please!"

"Well I don't see any ships coming quite yet, Elizabeth!" He pointed out, still spanking. "And even if they do come, Norrington will be with them. Do you honestly think he'll want to fterfter the Black Pearl just to save Will, someone he rather dislikes?" As he talked his spanks for harder and faster, but his tone was still as jolly as ever.

"I don't knooooooooooooow" she screeched, flailing and wriggling like a worm on a hook. "Well then! Why worry about it?" He asked, rather cheerfully to the young girl's annoyance. He whacked her a few more times, then suddenly stopped.

"Because I love him!" tears were gathering in her eyes and her bottom was smarting like nothing else she had ever felt before. When he stopped, she nearly was able to wriggle right off his lap.

"Hold on there young miss." Jack said, getting a firmer hold on her. "I'm not done. My rum is still burning, so your bum should still burn as well!"

With that he pulled up the back of her gown and pulled down her undergarments, exposing her small bottom. It was blushing pink from his spankings, but it needed to get a tad darker in color before he was happy.

When Jack bared her bottom, Elizabeth began to cry, and did she ever have a set of lungs on her! begabegan to bawl loudly, still squirming. "You can't! No one's seen me before!" she cried. "I won't tell if you won't luv," Jack told her, then delivered the first smack to the center of her cheeks.

"Nooooooo!"she howled. "Please don't! No more!!!" "I take it you've never been spanked before, hmmm?" He asked, pausing slightly, almost feeling bad. Then he caught a whiff of that intoxicating scent that rum had, and all thoughts of pity or sympathy went straight out of his mind.

"No, I haven't, it hurts!" tears were pouring down her face, and she was clearly upset and in great pain. "Please Jack, i'm not a hussy, cover me back up! I can't be seen this way!!!"

"I know you're not a hussy. Never did say you were, luv. And what are you so bloody worried about anyway? There's no one here but me and you. And some birds. But I doubt they'll mind."

With that his large hand flew in the air and came crashing down on her right cheek, then he smacked her left one before she could register the first spank. He continued that way for a few minutes, his hand turning red, but her bum turning redder.

Elizabeth screamed, then began to sob, going nearly limp over his lap, her hands squeezing his leg as she cried her lungs out. Jack delieverd ten more smacks, these being the hardest, then stopped. He had spanked many women before, and knew the time to stop was when the woman went limp and stopped fighting.

The young woman was now hardly moving at alnly nly moaning and sobbing, and muttering incoherently. The pirate, unsure as to how far he should go with comfort, patted her back and rubbed it a little. He knew she probably would not let him hold her on his lap and offer comfort that way, so he didn't even try.

She shot out of his lap and off to the side of him. She looked horrible, her facl fll flushed and tear streaked. Her eyes held the pain that her backside felt as she tried to rub the sting out.

Jack stared at her, a cocky look on his face as he wondered if she would attack him now. "I don't think you'll be burning any rum soon, eh luv?" He asked, putting his stupid hat back on and giving her a classic Jack Sparrow smile.

"I hate you!!" she bawled, sinking to her knees in the sand. "I want my Will back," she whimpered, hugging herself as she cried. "Well I wouldn't get in too much of a hurry." Jack replied, looking up at the sun. "Will thinks the same as me when it comes to brats like you." He pushed his hat up and a thumb and grinned wickedly. "Savvy?"

She didn't even bother to answer him, just cried, looking lost and alone, even though he was there with her.

Jack sighed, her sad expression pulling at his heart strings. Sighing, he got up and carefully made his way towards, sitting down beside her, eyeing her like she was a wild animal that was about to pounce.

He started to reach out to put his arms around her, then stopped suddenly and made a funny facem then tried again, and failed. He didn't want to get smacked across the face again, but he did want to offer her some comfort, though he was not sure how to do it really. All the women he had spanked in the past really didn't need comforting afterwards. Just a good roll in the sack. He sighed, flusterated.

Suddenly, he didnt have too, as Elizabeth somehow in the blink of an eye positioned himself in his arms, making them wrap around her shoulders, and she sobbed into his chest.

Jack froze in shock, his arms out to the side in mid hug, as he had been about to try again, and for a moment he just stared down at the girl. Then he sighed again and hugged her, rocking her in his arms.

"There now luv." He said, as gently as he could. "It's all done, and we've both learned something from it." "Yeah, you're mean," she sniffled, still crying rather freely. "And my arse hurts"

"That's supposed to happen." He pointed out, patting her back. He sighed and glanced at the black smoke that was still coming from the wonderful rum, and rolled his eyes. "Definitly supposed to happen." He muttered.

A moment later, she had cried herself to sleep in his arms, and Jack, raising an eyebrow at her and shaking his head, carefully plopped her down on the sand. "Much better that way," he muttered. "Keep herself outta trouble that way."

Several moments of grumbling later, Jack had wondered up onto a hill and was looking out at the ocean. It was then he spotted a ship. And not just any ship. A ship of the fleet. Which meant it was a ship of Norrington's. Which meant---- she had been right!!! "There'll be no living with her now," Jack said with a tortured sighed.

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"Oh, so that's what he meant," Will said as Elizabeth finished her story. "Well of course it wouldn't have work out, you're mine," he smiled softly at her. Elizabeth just blushed and nodded. Keeping an arm around her, they walked away together.

The End