Fractured Love

Title - FRACTURED LOVE

Author - Rina

Rating - NC17

Summary - Richard and Justin fight and make up, in the hottest possible way!

Disclaimer - Yet another work of fiction using characters that don't belong to me and that I am not making money off.

A/N: Inspired by a Def Leppard song of the same name.

PS. If there are any typos in my fics, it's NOT me, okay!! It happens when I post fics on this site and I don't know why. I totally spell check and double check so blame some bug on AFF.net for making me look dumb!

***

Justin hadn’t come to school for three days. Not since Richard hit him.

But, Goddammit, Justin had deserved it. How DARE he pull out of the deal at the last minute? After all the months of excruciatingly detailed research and plotting and organising. The crime would have been absolutely foolproof. And Justin bailed. The day before they were gonna do it. Over a stupid fucking premonition, of all things. Nothing Richard said could change Justin’s mind. He flat out refused to do it and in the end, disillusioned and thoroughly pissed off, Richard had punched him and stormed out of the old lodge.

“Jerk-off,” he muttered to himself, still angry. However, the anger was rapidly starting to turn into worry as he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the other boy and Justin never missed school, not unless he was at Death’s door. A terrible pang, like a cold blade, sliced into his chest at the thought that Justin might have done something to himself.

He was just about to say fuck it, ditch first period and drive over to Justin’s house to make sure he was all right when the object of his vexation snuck unobtrusively into the classroom two seconds before the bell rang.

“Bonaparte,” Lisa gasped in horror as Justin sat down in the desk next to her. “What happened to you?”

Justin’s left cheek, under his eye and reaching up to his temple, was purple and black and exceedingly painful looking. His hair fell in long layers on that side only, as if he was trying to cover his facial trauma. It didn’t work.

“I got hit by a stray baseball,” he answered wryly. “My cheekbone was fractured.”

He flicked his gaze toward Richard and gave him a hard, icy look. Richard’s gut twisted into a big ugly knot as Justin turned away from him. During the course of normal school hours, Richard and Justin usually exchanged at least ten scorching secret glances and a few teasing half-smiles, enough to get them through until they could be alone later on that night and give in to their pent-up lust.

But that was the only time he looked at Richard, all day long. Richard felt as if he was invisible. As if he didn’t even exist. And it was killing him.

When school finished, Richard trailed Justin and finally caught him outside in the grounds, beside a huge oak tree. When Justin saw him, he stopped and sighed, the shadow of leaves playing across his upper body and face.

“What do you want?” Justin’s tone was emotionless and flat.

Richard came closer and began to raise his fingers toward the dark bruise blooming on Justin’s cheek but halted and dropped his hand when Justin flinched.

“C’mon, Justin. I didn’t mean to-”

“I said, what do you want?” Justin cut him off frostily.

“I need to talk to you,” Richard said urgently. “Will you meet me at the bluff later?”

When Justin didn’t answer, he begged, “Please? I need to see you.”

Justin stared down at his feet, the grass, the tree, at everything except Richard’s face.

“Please, Jus. Please.” Richard was almost crying at this point and Justin must have heard it in his voice because he finally met Richard’s desperate gaze.

“Fine,” he ground out and walked away, leaving the other boy with a shine in his eyes and his jaw clenched tight to stop his lower lip trembling.

Justin was sitting on the edge of the broken wooden floor, his long legs dangling in the air, facing the ocean and watching the sun go down in a brilliant display of orange, red and pink. He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t hear Richard come into the dilapidated lodge. He jumped, caught unaware, as Richard plonked himself down next to him.

“I didn’t know if you’d be here,” Richard commented. “I’m glad you are.”

Justin didn’t say anything, just gazed at him with big, sad, wounded eyes, the bruise standing out like ink on his pale skin.

“Oh shit, Justin,” Richard breathed, feeling tears welling up. “I didn’t mean to do that, man. I didn’t mean to break your cheekbone. It was an accident. You know that, right?”

“It’s not broken, just cracked,” Justin mumbled. “Don’t worry about it. It will heal eventually.”

“I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m really, really sorry.”

Justin made an impatient gesture. “It’s fine. I told you not to worry about it.”

“No, it’s not fine,” Richard replied quietly, his distress visible in the tight lines of his face. “I shouldn’t have hit you. I shouldn’t have…I was just so…disappointed, you know? After all our hard work and for what? Nothing.”

“Something bad would have happened, Richard,” Justin told him firmly, not regretting his decision to back out. “Something was going to go horribly wrong. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do.”

Richard sighed, looking out over the endless rolling expanse of the sea. “So, it’s over then, is it?”

Justin frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

Richard shrugged. “Everything. You, me. Us.”

He made a sound that was half growl-half sob and drove his fist into one of the damaged floorboards beside him, snapping off another piece of jagged, weathered timber and sending it falling to the rocks and waves below.

“For fuck’s sake, Justin. If you wanted to break up with me, you should have just said so,” he gritted, inspecting his hand and finding a very large splinter embedded between his first two knuckles. He yanked it out with a hiss and watched the blood start to ooze up and drip over his skin. That’s what his heart felt like. Punctured and bleeding. And, great, now his eyes were leaking too.

He jerked his gaze up in surprise as Justin took his hand, looked carefully at his skin to make sure there were no more splinters and then lifted it to his lips, licking the blood away with a long, slow sweep of his tongue. Justin placed a kiss onto the injury and then met his bewildered stare.

“I don’t want to break up with you,” he said, sounding as if Richard was a lunatic for even thinking that.

“You don’t?” Richard sniffed and rubbed at the wetness on his face, looking like a spiky-haired, well dressed, overgrown child.

“I don’t.”

“Really? But …I hurt you.”

“Yes, you did,” Justin said bluntly, letting Richard hear the raw anguish in his voice and see it in his face. “You hurt me. Sometimes, I don’t know why I put up with you, Richard. You can be so cruel.”

“Oh Jesus. I know. Forgive me, baby,” Richard whispered in awful, unendurable guilt, bringing his hand up to cup Justin’s jaw. He gently kissed the bruise on his cheek. “I didn’t mean to, I was angry. I know it’s no excuse but I’m so sorry and I promise I’ll never, ever do it again. You gotta forgive me, Jus.” He touched his lips to the spot again, feather-light, so he didn’t cause Justin any more unnecessary pain.

“I do,” Justin said softly, closing his eyes for a heartbreakingly tender moment. Half of the time, Richard was a selfish, jealous, impatient, spiteful little shit and they fought like cats and dogs, but Justin still took him back. He wanted Richard when he was nice and he wanted him even when he was nasty. As they say, the heart wants what it wants. And there’s nothing he could do to change that. He’d already tried.

“I forgive you. And I understand why you hit me.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” Richard replied morosely. “I wasn’t pissed at you because you wimped out on our plan. Well, partly I was, but most of all I…I thought that it was your way of saying you didn’t want to be with me anymore. That our time together was over. Don’t you see? I had to strike out at you or I would’ve broken down and bawled. And you know how I hate crying in front of you.”

He’d done enough of that at home. He’d hardly been able to eat or sleep these last few days. All he’d been able to think about was Justin and the way he left him, cowering on the floor of the old lodge, cradling his cheek and looking up at Richard with tears of shock and reproach in his round blue eyes. He hugged Justin to his body, needing to establish physical contact with him after three days of nothing, not a word, a look, touch or a kiss. He’d missed Justin. Badly.

“All that stuff about murder and forensics, etcetera, etcetera, I didn’t really give a fuck about that. I just loved being with you, Jus, listening to you talk, seeing you animated and passionate. That’s what I was living for. Not that other shit. Only you.”

Justin was silent for a while, his head resting on Richard’s shoulder, letting him stroke his hair and hold him like he was made of spun glass, fragile and delicate. It was so good. He felt protected and cared for. When he wasn’t being an asshole, Richard could be incredibly sweet. And when Richard was sweet, Justin could forgive him for anything.

They both watched the sun slowly disappearing over the horizon, just soaking in each other’s warmth and closeness.

“Richard?”

“Mmmm?”

“These last few days at home, I’ve been thinking. You know why we came up with that demented idea in the first place?” Justin answered his own question. “Because we were trying to fill a big, hollow void inside ourselves. I mean, God, our lives are pitiful. I’m geeky and klutzy, I’m too weird to have friends, my parents don’t care if I live or die and I’m so depressed, it’s not funny.”

He sighed deeply and continued. “And while you may seem to have everything, I know you’re not happy either. Sure, you’re rich, handsome and witty and everyone likes you or wants to be you but I can tell it all means nothing in the end. All those people that hang around you do so because they think you’re cool, not because they’re your friends. Your dad is an abusive prick and your mom is a self-absorbed ice queen and they think throwing money at you will make up for their astounding lack of parenting skills and emotion.”

“Yeah. My life is fucked. Thanks for the reminder.” Richard laughed shortly and bitterly.

“Well, so is mine. The only bit of happiness in my life is when I’m with you,” Justin stated, snuggling closer in his embrace, both of them bathed in golden light.

“Hey, I was just about to say that,” Richard joked, squeezing him. “And I love your geeky klutziness and weirdness. I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

Even though he was an introspective, serious mood, Justin smiled briefly. Richard always knew the right thing to say. Charming bastard.

“We need to discuss that pact we made.” Justin was talking about the double suicide they were going to do if things didn’t pan out the way they planned. He looked up at Richard, who was frowning down at him but let him speak his mind.

“I’m tired of feeling dead inside. I’m tired of feeling like an empty shell. I’m just…I’m so, so tired.” Justin sounded weary and jaded, like he was one hundred years old. “Aren’t you sick of it all, Richard? Aren’t you sick of this shallow, fake existence?”

“Fuck, yeah,” Richard uttered strongly. “Wasn’t that the main reason we were gonna do this crime? Except now we aren’t.” He sighed. “So, Justin, what do you want to do instead? Do you want to skip right to the killing ourselves part?”

He waited for Justin’s consent, thinking that he’d have to go all the way home and get his guns and wondering how he could get out of it. No matter how much his life sucked, he didn’t really feel like shooting himself in the head tonight. Or watching Justin do it.

“No!” Justin exclaimed loudly, making Richard blink in astonishment. “I want to break the pact, okay? Even though I’ve talked about it a lot, I’ve realised it’s all nothing. It’s all lies, all… bullshit. I don’t really want to die. And I don’t want you to die either. God, we’re only seventeen. We’re supposed to have our whole lives in front of us and we were ready to just throw it all away. But I don’t want to anymore.”

His wide blue eyes were fixed on Richard beseechingly. “I want to live, Rich. I want to feel alive. I want to be free.”

“Well, what are you suggesting we do?” Richard asked in confusion. “Our lives aren’t gonna magically turn into a fairytale just because we want them to. Our folks aren’t gonna wake up tomorrow and become parents of the year. People aren’t gonna accept that we’re together if we tell them, Justin. Not at our school. Not in this town. Not with who my father is. We’ll get the utter shit kicked out of us. You know that. Nobody is going to change. Nothing is going to change. In fact, things would be worse than ever.”

“That’s why WE have to change,” Justin told him, taking his hand and threading their fingers together. “In order for our lives to improve, we have to do something drastic. Something just as risky, scary and exhilarating as what we were going to do, only nobody dies this time.”

“What?”

“I want to be with you, Richard. I want to go to sleep with your arms around me, not alone, and I want your face to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning. The only time I get to spend with you consists of furtive, snatched moments at school and a few precious hours here when we can get away without being noticed. It’s not enough for me. I need more. I need you to be there. For me. With me.”

Justin was looking at him with desperation and longing. The dying sun caught in his hair, turning it into strands of copper and bronze. “Let’s get out of here. As far away from this place as possible. Where nobody knows us. Let’s just go and never come back. ”

Richard was knocked sideways by Justin’s unexpected, heartrending words. “What, do you mean, run away? Like, elope? You want to elope with me? Is that what you’re saying?”

Justin nodded, optimistic hope written all over his face. He was immeasurably beautiful in his aching expectation, as if he would be crushed like a dead leaf under someone’s boot and scattered in the wind if Richard said no. Richard let out a long, heavy breath at the crazy, ridiculous, unrealistic, stupidly romantic suggestion. What about high school? What about college? Where would they go? What would they do? How would they survive? It was utterly insane.

“Okay,” he finally said.

Justin cried, “Do you really mean that? Are you really gonna come with me?” He was clutching Richard’s shoulders with both hands, afraid to give in to his elation in case his best friend changed his mind.

“If that’s what you want, Justin, okay. Let’s elope. Fuck it, let’s leave tonight.”

Justin made a sound of pure joy and threw his arms around Richard, whispering, “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” again and again.

Richard chuckled at his exuberance, wondering what the hell he’d just gotten himself into but not caring that much as he’d just made Justin the happiest he’d ever seen him. Ever. Justin was kissing him all over his face in gratitude with his soft, rose petal lips, and then he lingered on Richard’s mouth. Justin gave him a few hearty, enthusiastic smooches and forked his tongue into Richard’s mouth when the subject of his affections opened up for him. Richard zestfully kissed him back, suddenly feeling like he’d just been given the most amazing, wonderful gift in the world. The gift of life.

Life with Justin.

Justin pulled away abruptly, muttering, “Ouch,” and tentatively fingering his sore cheek.

“Hey, be careful, man,” Richard admonished, with a little crease in his brow. “I don’t want you hurting any more than you already do. And did I mention how sorry I am? For the bruising and the cracking and the boyfriend beating?”

Justin smiled at him and it was as radiant and magnificent as the sunset. “Only, like ten times. And, hello? ‘Boyfriend’? Am I your boyfriend now?”

Richard bit his lip self-consciously, feeling goofy and idiotic for his sentimentality. He’d never called Justin that before. He almost blushed. “If you want to be, ‘cos if you don’t like it, I can –”

Justin shut him up with a finger on his lips. He was still smiling. “I like. I like very much.”

Richard deftly caught Justin’s finger in his mouth and toyed with it with his tongue. Justin inhaled quickly and shivered. Richard took his finger out and said, “When we both vanish overnight, everyone’s gonna figure out that we’re fucking, you know. We’re gonna cause a massive scandal in this here little old town.”

“Good,” Justin said with relish. “At least we’ll be remembered, even if it’s not in the way we had originally intended.”

“Our folks are gonna freak, man,” Richard predicted, an evil glint in his dark blue eyes. “Maybe we should leave notes. Can you imagine their faces?” He rattled off an imaginary letter.

“Dear Mom and Dad. You’ll be glad to know that I’m out of your hair forever. I’ve eloped with my sexy piece of ass, Justin Pendleton. That’s right, a dude. With a dick. Your unloving son, Richard. P.S. Fuck you very much.”

Justin laughed, amused. “That’s the greatest piece of poetry I’ve ever heard.”

“I’m gonna do it,” Richard declared. “Yeah. I’m gonna write that letter. Fuck it. Fuck them. Fuck everybody.” He eyed Justin. “Are you gonna leave a letter too?”

Justin shook his head. “You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to tell my mother. I’m going to tell her about you, about us. And then I’m going to leave. And there’s nothing she can do about it.”

“Holy fuck. You’re braver than me,” Richard said in awe. He gathered Justin into his lap and began to nibble his neck. “You do realise we’re gonna be living together, don’t you, Jus?” he murmured. “I gotta warn you, I don’t know how to cook to save my life and I leave clothes on the floor until they’re knee deep and you need a shovel to get through. I’m probably gonna drive you nuts.” Almost as an afterthought, he added, “And I drink milk out of the carton.”

Justin lifted his shoulder, not stressed in the least about Richard’s shortcomings.
“Well, I love cooking and I’m obsessively neat so we’ll balance out perfectly. Like yin and yang.” He arched a brow at Richard. “As for the milk carton issue, getting boy germs is the last thing I’m worried about. At least I know where your mouth has been.”

“If we ever have that argument over whose turn it is to take the garbage out, I’ll hang myself,” Richard groaned, loathing in advance the domestic aspect of sharing a house with someone.

“We won’t. We’re better than that. Let’s go home and pack,” Justin said eagerly.

“Pack later,” Richard purred, holding him so he couldn’t get up. “Fuck first.”

“Stop it, Rich,” Justin said impatiently. “I want to leave right now. Besides, when we get to wherever we’re going…Hey. Hey, that’s not fair!”

Richard was sucking on his neck erotically, in this particular spot that he knew would render Justin helpless with desire. Justin started moaning softly and arching against him. Yep. Worked every time. He nibbled his way up to Justin’s mouth and they kissed, deep and possessively, their tongues twining like mating serpents. Justin, in his crippling need, ignored the throbbing pain in his fractured cheek. The thirst they had for each other was wild and uncontrollable.

His brain temporarily disconnected, Justin let Richard tear his pants off, hold him in his lap and fuck him right on the edge of the rotting broken floor, the precarious position acting like an aphrodisiac and only adding to the dangerous and thrilling sensations they experienced every time they were together. In his frenetic haste, Richard didn’t bother to remove his own clothes and just unzipped his fly, used his spit to lube Justin up and then roughly impaled his lover upon his stiff cock, fucking him fast and demandingly. Justin’s legs were circled tight around Richard’s waist, his arms about Richard’s neck, his head wantonly thrown back, his eyes closed and his mouth open in a grimace of satyric pleasure. Richard held Justin’s narrow hips in both hands, thrusting into the other male’s inner heat with a savage, untamed passion.

“Harder, Richard,” Justin gasped, grinding down into him. “Do it HARD.”

“Aw, Justin…. Jus, Jus, Jus,” Richard groaned from behind gritted teeth, giving him what he asked for, slamming his pelvis into the other boy. His dick was like a weapon stabbing into Justin’s body, hitting that place inside that made the brunette cry out hoarsely and dig his nails into Richard’s back. As they came, quickly and violently, Justin first, all over Richard’s shirt, then Richard second, inside Justin’s belly, their loud screams of lust could almost be heard for miles, if there was anyone around the isolated location to listen.

Which is precisely why they came here.

“Christ, make-up sex is unbelievable,” Richard panted afterwards. It was so much more intense and electric than usual. It was almost worth the torture of fighting.

“Amen,” Justin sighed in satisfaction. He was still sitting in Richard’s lap and his pants were strewn on the floor behind them. Richard’s cheeks were high in colour from his aerobic exertion, his lips swollen and red, his eyes were heavy-lidded and sultry and there was a patch of sweat on the front of his shirt, not to mention Justin’s drying cum stains. Richard looked exactly like he’d had a damn good fuck. He was absolutely gorgeous, Justin thought to himself in drowsy admiration.

“As I was saying, Richard, before you rudely interrupted me,” Justin began, teasingly fluffing up the other boy’s short blond hair with his fingers. “When we get to wherever we’re going and live in our own place, we can have sex anytime we want. As many times as we want. None of this sneaking around. Won’t that be great?”

“Oh, hell yeah,” Richard promised, slipping his hands up behind Justin’s shirt to caress the smooth skin of his back. “There’s gonna be lots and lots and lots of nookie. We’ll have to christen every room in the house. And then some. Damn, baby. I can’t wait to move in with you!”

Richard and Justin undressed fully and made love again, this time sweeter and less insistently, taking the time to caress tenderly and whisper their innermost feelings and emotions. They lay enmeshed on the floor in a tangle of arms and legs, rocking slowly, mouths joined together, their clothes spread out underneath them like a blanket; their naked bodies gleaming and shimmering incandescent in the last of the orange glow as the sun, an immense blazing sphere of fire, descended behind the ocean.

The future wasn’t a bleak dead end anymore, a big black hole waiting to swallow them up. The future was an adventure, unknown and exciting, just waiting to be had.

And they were going to have it. With each other.

This was definitely a better plan than the first one.

END