The Room of Secrets.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own it, never will.

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The Room of Secrets.

The younglings jokingly refer to the Jedi Council Room as 'the Room of Secrets'. Partially because they are oblivious to what transpires there, but mostly because, when the council is in full session, it contains more men keeping secrets from eachother than any other place in the galaxy. It's really anyone's guess what lies hidding within the Masters' cloaks and minds, even Padawans know this. It is the soul reason for the Masters' stern decorum and formal speech, as it takes the greatest of effort for a Jedi to hide something from his peers. It is also to blame for the thick atmosphere inside the Council Room; All that Force energy drawn to a confined space. Rumor has it one can literally slice the air with a light sabre. So has it been for a thousand years and so everyone thought it would remain. No one could have predicted a young, powerful Jedi with the qualities of a Sith to be appointed to the Council...

Anakin had not been able to eat breakfast that morning. He could feel the Force flow, nay, pulsate through him in an obscenely powerful way at the sheer exhilirating thought of making the Council. Obi-Wan was such a downer, as usual, trying to stifle the young Jedi's thrill as they walked down the hallway. Telling him how unusual this was, how something was not entirely right with the Chancellor's request. He didn't let his Master get him down. Instead, he held his head even higher than usual as he approached the Council Room door. Then Anakin performed what all Jedi did before entering; He tucked his secrets far away. Down went Padmé, down went his feelings for the Chancellor, down went his indisgretion after his mother's death. Deep, deep down.

He had stepped inside the humid chamber. The very air around him pregnant with the Force. He had taken his seat, fingering the armrests of the chair, savoring the fabric's texture underneath his fingertips. All was well so far. Then the abomination happened. He was told he would not be given the title of Master. The outburst that followed was swiftly knocked down, his feelings trivialized by tradition. Anakin had retaken his place and silenced his audible voice, but inside him, rage had taken over, which sent a surge of Force through him that he had only tasted a few times before. Yes, great is the power of the Dark Side indeed. So great, that while Anakin was stewing in his anger, he became more attuned to everything around him.

It didn't take long for Anakin to notice that Master Windu's nodding head motions were rythmical. Yes, to the untrained eye it seemed he was simply agreeing with what was being said, but to a Sith there was more yet to see. Anakin looked at him and focused. Before long, he could hear something:

Uh-huh, yes yes y'all. That's right motherfuckers: I AM A MAN THAT'S HUNG LIKE A HORSE, LONG LIKE A PYTHON AND STRONG WITH THE FORCE..."

"Master Windu!?"

"Yes Anakin?"

Master Windu cocked his head as if his fellow Jedi had merely asked for his attention. He was seemingly unaware that Anakin had heard his rythmical incantations. All eyes were now fixed on the newcomer and Anakin thought it prudent to sit back down in his seat.

He turned to Master Yoda, who had resumed speaking.

At night, to the youngling's quarters I like to go. Place icecubes between their buttocks, I do.

Anakin thought about the many years he spent sleeping in the youngling quarters and the countless times he had woken up with slightly damp sheets. He screwed up his face in disgust and let out a repulsed "Ugh".

"Young Skywalker, if quiet you cannot be, leave this Council Room you must."

"Yes, Master Yoda."

Anakin shook his head and tried not to look directly at any of his fellow Jedi. For a few minutes, all was fine, but then he started to feel something strange. He could feel something brush against his cock ever so lightly. It stroked him, up and down, up and down again. He looked at his lap, but could see nothing there. Someone was manipulating the Force. He reached out with his mind.

Oh, yes. You like that don't you.

It was the voice of his Master.

Yeah, that's it. Engage that flesh sabre. Oh, you've been a naughty apprentice. Obi-Wan is going to punish you.

Anakin slowly turned to face his Master, who smiled at him as if nothing were afoot.

"Everything alright, Anakin?" he whispered.

I'll bend you over a power console and show you the ways of the FORCE. Who's your Jedi Master!? Come on, say my name!

"I'm fine Master Kenobi," He coated his words in honey, just to see what would happen.

OH FORCE YES!! I CAN'T HOLD IT...

Anakin turned away and shivered.

I have a third testicle.

Some times, the cube suck out, I will.

I like to dress in women's clothing.

I have sex dreams about Hutts.

So it went on all meeting. Slowly, but surely, the tense, moist heat inside the chamber started to subside.

"Cold it is getting in here," Yoda remarked at a certain point.

All the Masters nodded and some commented what a welcome change that was to the usual broodiness of the chamber. Anakin on the other hand was breaking out into a sweat, fidgeting with his fingers and shifting in his chair. It was a relief to him when the meeting was disbanded.

"Well, how do you feel?" Obi-Wan asked as they were walking down the hall, away from the chamber.

"I need a shower, Master. A long, soapy shower."