Not a Victory March

His arms went around Sarah automatically as she rested her head against his shoulder. Jake placed a gentle kiss to her temple, his low chuckle stirring her soft hair as, on screen, a drunken Jimmy Stewart marched into Cary Grant's apartment. Although his fondness for dark and depressing movies remained unchanged, they'd both developed a taste for lighter fare since the true beginning of their courtship.

As the two actors verbally dueled, Jake became aware of how quiet Sarah was. Although this was hardly the first time they'd seen "The Philadelphia Story", he'd never known her not to at least giggle during this scene. He butted her softly with his chin. "What is it?"

Sarah lowered her eyes, twisting her fingers together. "What?"

Shifting his position so he could look at her, Jake said. "You know." With a quick motion he turned off the movie, leaving them bathed in the blue light reflecting from the television screen. "What's wrong?"

Keeping her eyes lowered, Sarah shook her head. "Jake..."

"Hey..." he whispered, cradling her chin with his hand and raising her face to his. To his dismay, her eyes were flooded with tears.

"Sarah..." He pulled her against his chest, holding her close. "Talk to me, baby."

"Jake..." she said again, beginning to cry in earnest. He rocked her tenderly, murmuring soothing words as he stroked her hair, his stomach twisting painfully in the face of her distress.

She quieted, pulling a tissue from the sleeve of her fuzzy, flannel pajamas and wiping her eyes. Jake kept his hands on her back, refusing to let her pull away. "Sarah?"

Sniffling, Sarah reached behind her for the item she'd hidden in the sofa cushions as she sat down. She handed it to him without a word, knowing the small object would speak for itself.

Jake glanced down at the plastic square in his hand, his heart sinking when he saw the vivid blue minus sign. Clearing a throat that suddenly felt too tight, he tossed the pregnancy test to the table and pulled Sarah into an embrace. "It's okay," he whispered huskily, although it felt anything but okay. "We're going to be okay. Oh, Sarah..."

Her hand curled around the nape of his neck, drawing his flushed face to rest against the curve of her throat. Her fingers played gently with his hair as he fought back the need to shed tears of his own. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked after a moment, sadness, not accusation in his voice.

She shook her head, rubbing her cheek against his hair. "I couldn't," she replied. "I couldn't get your hopes up again just to..."

Reaching up, he laced his fingers with hers and brought her hand to his lips. "Our hopes," he corrected her, kissing the back of her hand. As he did so, he remembered the times, too many of them now, they'd spent staring at other small plastic boxes, fingers laced together so tightly it hurt, but neither noticed, too focused on willing the longed-for plus sign into existence.

"Our hopes," she conceded, her voice breaking. "Jake, I'm scared. What if we can't... we can't..."

"We can," he assured her instantly. "We just have to keep trying. It hasn't been so long..."

"It's been almost a year," Sarah protested. "I'm too old, I have to be-"

"You are *not*," he told her fiercely, taking her face in his hands and forcing her to meet his eyes. "Don't say that, Sarah. You've seen the same news that I have. Women are having babies into their fifties now. We'll keep trying. We'll see a specialist. Whatever it takes. We *are* going to have a baby, Sarah."

With that, he placed a fervent kiss to her forehead, willing her to believe his words. When he pulled away slightly, Sarah gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled his mouth down to meet hers in a deep kiss. Jake responded to her helplessly, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her closer until she straddled his lap.

He groaned as he felt Sarah begin to undo the buttons of his shirt. Grabbing the hem of her pajama top, he broke the kiss long enough to pull it over her head, His hands went to her breasts, cupping them as he placed kisses against her smooth skin.

Sarah tossed her head and ground down on his lap. "Make love to me," she demanded in a throaty whisper. Jake stilled at her words, then kissed her voraciously, maneuvering them to their feet to dispose of the rest of their clothes before pressing her back into the sofa cushions and taking his place above her.

"Sarah..." He ran his hand along the length of the slender body he still couldn't get enough of.

"Jake, please..." she whispered, and he obliged her, sliding deep into her wet heat. She wrapped her arms around him as he moved inside her, their eyes locked together as they shared this pleasure.

Biting his lip, Jake held back his climax as long as he could. Sarah smiled softly as his breath began to catch and leaned down to bite the side of his neck in the place that she knew made him wild. A grunt tore from his throat as his pace quickened.

"That's it, baby," Sarah murmured, encouraging him. "Come on, Jake..."

The sound of her voice whispering his name drove him over the edge. Jake thrust into her deeply and buried his face in her neck, groaning with the force of his orgasm. Sarah kept her arms around him, stroking his heaving shoulders as he recovered.

"Sarah..." he breathed reverently, kissing the side of her face. Then, as he realized how selfish he'd been, he winced. "Oh God, I'm sorry. You didn't-"

She placed her fingers to his lips, quieting him. "It was perfect."

"But-" he tried again, voice muffled.

"Perfect," she repeated firmly.

At her insistence, he relaxed and smiled, before standing up and sweeping her unexpectedly up into his arms. She squealed with delight as he carried her towards the bedroom, hands clutching his shoulders in fear of being dropped.

"It was your fault, you know," he told her mock-seriously as he made his way down the hall.

"Oh really?" she asked. "And why is that?"

"You're too sexy," he replied, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, depositing her on their bed. "If you weren't so damned beautiful, I wouldn't have any trouble controlling myself."

"Jake!" Sarah scolded, laughing, as she dove under the covers.

He pulled the covers off of her, revealing her body to his hungry gaze. "I'm serious," he said, lying down next to her. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Sarah's laughter faded and she stopped trying to shield herself with her hands. "I love you," she whispered.

Tucking them both under the covers, Jake pulled her close. "Love you more."